*totally mad laughter* Okay... Just imagine our beloved Hee-chan had gone into coma. (Everything understand `til now?) Yeah, after a while he was healthy again but totally stupid (Got that?) Now Duo needs to show him everything frome the very beginning (*snickers* not what you mean, hentai, not yet!) ... ^^;;;

Disclaimer: Heero an` Duo dun belong to moi (I wish they would!). I dun get any money for that, this is just another proof of my totally madness... Oh yeah, an' sorry for crossposting, but I'm SO busy, I just had to!

Warnings: Well, of course it's OCC... [Heero: I would have killed ya, if it hadn't been OCC...] I dunno, is it a lemon? Not really, but also not really nothing... *giggles helplessly* Just read, k?

Pairings: 1x2 or 2x1? Dunno exactly... ^^;;;

Feedback: As long as ya dun kill moi after that crazy stuff!


~~Untitled brain washing ficcie - Part 1 of 2 ~~


At a wonderful morning, while the birds are singing...


Heero: *exited* What's that?

Duo: *far-away* hmm?

Heero: *urgeing* Duo! Stop already reading that newspaper! That's all soooo interesting! An` you can really eat EVERYTHING?

Duo: *far-away* Mhmm... Yeah...

Heero: *chewing*

Duo: *irritated* What's that crunching over here...? HEERO! But not the plate! Look, you put the meal ON it!

Heero: *blankly*

Duo: *hastily* Come on... Put that away... Heero! At last take the plate out of your mouth!

Heero: *dissapointed* Allright...

Duo: *relieved* Good, now listen to me. This here is the cuterly... an` that are the plates.

Heero: *interested* And that stuff?

Duo: *twitched eyebrow* ...napkins. But you know `em already!

Heero: *grining* Just wanted to test ya...

Duo: *rolls his eyes* Okay... whatever... an` the rest you CAN eat, understood?

Heero: *brights* Understood!

Duo: *sighing* Well then, now I can read again...

Heero: *reads with difficulty* shoc..la..t...cree...m... hmm...

Duo: *shrieking* Whaddya DOING?! My new shirt... Are you crazy?! *cloth rustles* Damn! Hopefully I get it clean again... Now I need to switch my clothes...

Heero: *thinking* Really?

Duo: *big eyes* H... Heero?

Heero: *enthusiastic* Mmmm,... great...

Duo: *frozen* Heero? Stop immediately licking me!

Heero: *innocent* But... *licks* you said... *licks* `the rest I CAN eat`... *licks*

Duo: *stammers* Hey, listen now... I meant with that... oohhh...

Heero: *concerned* You okay?

Duo: *breathing heavily* No... I mean... Yessss! ...Just continue...

Heero: *distracted* What's that?

Duo: *concentrating with difficutly* Huh? ... Whaddya mean?

Heero: *touchs interested* There! In your jeans... something is growing... Are there any plants in it?

Duo: *blushs deeply* Uh... no... that... well, that's...

Heero: *childish exitement* I'll look after it, k? *ZIPP*

Duo: *hastily* One moment! No! Stop! That's not nesessary...

Heero: *thoughtful* I've the same thing, but this one is... bigger...

Duo: *embaressed* Oh god... uh, that's cuz of the... I mean, that`s because... Oh damnit! Dun tell me, you never had...

Heero: *giggles* He, there's a hole!

Duo: *shocked* HEERO! Remove your finger at once!

Heero: *defending* But there's a hole! What happens if you're going to run out?!

Duo: *gasps for breath* IF I'M GOING TO RUN OUT?!!! You're mad, aren't ya?

Heero: *determinated* A hole needs to be filled. Every child knows that! Wait a moment... *opens the freezer*

Duo: *shocked* I dun believe it... I CAN'T believe it... nobody can so naive...

Heero: *triumphing* Yeah, here it is! I always knew, that it would be useful for something...

Duo: *nervous looks up* Uh, .... Heero? Whaddya want with the cucumber?

Heero: *proudly* Whaddya think? An` now sit still!

Duo: *total horror* HEERO! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!! That is FUCKIN COLD! Itai! Hey, that hurts!


~~Untitled brain washing ficcie – Part 2 of 3 ~~ (Sorry it's longer than I thought!)

Heero: *thinking* It's somehow too big...

Duo: *unbelieving* Too big? Too fucking BIG?! A fuckin cocumber doesn't belong into a fuckin ASS! That hasn't something to do with the size!!!

Heero: *unimpressed* What could I...? Oh yeah! *reached for the table*

Duo: *tries to crawl away*

Heero: *peremptory* Stop! Stay please lying still! I'm soon finished.

Duo: *winces* What have I deserved this with...? *frozen* Heero? Whatddya doing with the butter?

Heero: *proud* Cool, isn't it? Whith that the cucumber is sliding better. I just discovered it at the moment!

Duo: *pale* That... You can't be serious, can you?

Heero: *determinated* Of course I am. An' now hold still!

A good while later...

Heero: *happy* Well, you see? Wasn't that bad, was it?!

Duo: *covered in sweat* Okay... You've had your fun... My hole is FILLED... AN' NOW TAKE THE DAMN THING OUT OF MY DAMN ASS!

Heero: *lenient shake of the head* Do ya want the whole work to be in vain? So.... leemme see, what's coming next...?

Duo: *panic* Next? Isn't that enough for today??

Heero: *shout of joy* Look! What's that?

Duo: *grumpy* ... jam.

Heero: *fascinated* So many different colors! Hmmm... what should I take... *reachs out for a few glasses*

Duo: *suspicious* Whaddya intend to do now?

Heero: *sniffs* Mmmm, they smell good. Which should I take first...?

Duo: *tries to lay down a lil bit more comfortable* First? First what for?

Heero: *carefully spreads* Somehow your thingie seems to be smaller now... before there was more place on it...

Duo: *inhales fiercly* Uh... Heero?


~~Untitled brain washing ficcie – Part 3 of 3 ~~


Heero: *concentrated* Shhht. Dun distract me. *reaches after the second glass*

Duo: *beathing heavily* That... is better...

Heero: *surprised* Watch that! It's growing again. *well consided observing* Has that something to do with the jam?

Dzo: *impatient* Stop brabbling an' continue already!

Heero: *obeyed* Okay, okay...

Duo: *soft moan*

Heero: *sticky fingers smear around*

Duo: *groaning becomes louder*

Heero: *content* So, now it's finished. Looks funny. Red an' green.

Duo: *frustrated* Cuz of the strawberry an' gooseberry jam. Uhm... Could ya perhaps...?

Heero: *sudden idea* Hey! That looks like the popsicle, you ate yesterday!

Duo: *pained* ice lolly... yessss... licking...

Heero: *considers* Perhaps I should...?

Duo: *wild grin* YEAH!! Uh, I mean, dun force youself...

Heero: *shrugs* Okay.

Duo: *throws back his head* Aaahhh, just like that...

Heero: *sucking* Mmmm...

Duo: *chlenchs his fists* That's so... ohhh..

Heero: *stops irritated* Wait a moment, the cucumber slides out.

Duo: *frustrated howl* Just forget the fuckin cucumber!! Go on!

Heero: *eager* One moment please, I just shove it back in.

Duo: *gasps for breath* Oh! Wow.

Heero: *licks his lips* Tastes good. *continues sucking*

Duo: *moans*

Heero: *stops again* This damn thing dun want to stay inside!

Duo: *on the verge of a screaming fit* THEN WHY DUN YA KEEP HOLD OF IT?!!!

Heero: *brightens* That's it! I just keep holding it, an' whenever it slides out, I'll shove it the way back in.

Duo: *despairing* Whatever ya want, but AT LAST CONTINUE!!

Heero: *devotes himself back to the ice lolly*

Duo: *content* Haaa...

Heero: *corrects the position of the cucumber*

Duo: *panting* Oh my god! That's so... oh yessss...

(sound of the sucking an' grunting mixes themselves with a more an' more heated becoming moan)

Duo: *everything drawning scream* OHMYGODYESSSSsssssss.....

Heero: *surprised hastily swallowing*

Duo: *violent spasms*

Heero: *totally astonished* What was that? Ice lolly with sauce?

Duo: *slowly calms down*

Heero: *disappointed* Whadda pity! No jam on it anymore. Hey! It's becoming smaller again. *fascinated* How do ya do that?

Duo: *dusky awaking* Ohhh.... Wow...

Heero: *loses the interest* I'm going out in the forest, K?

Duo: *still a li bit switched off* Huh? Oh, sure...

Heero: *discovers something* Duo? What's that?

Duo: *tired* A giant leek...

Heero: *exited* Cool! Tomorrow we're going to have breakfirst with the giant leek, K? *disappears*

Duo: *wide awake* What? With the giant... *horror* OH MY GOD!

Duo: *faints*

...and the birds still are singing...