1-5-2002
12-20-2002 (revised)

Rating: NC-17
Pairings: 2X1X1, 4X3X4, RXDXR, past 6X5X6, past 12X5, Past NC OCX6.
Warnings: ANGST! DARK! NC 2X1stuff, AU, Hints of Lime, Crazy? Bastard Duo, preggy?
Web page: www.bishonen.ishandsome.com
The tidbit at the end is the song `Torn' by Natalie Imbruglia
Status: Unbetaed

 

Runaway 4/?

That guy was staring at him again. The only other person on that small woodland farm other then the two girls was Relena's older brother Zechs. Relena was one of the ageless Humans. He could tell Zechs was too but where was his feeder if that was so? Heero wished that person would show up and get Zechs off his back. He had been up and helping since the day after he had awoken.

But Heero had fast realized that while he wasn't weak living with the Emperor as his pet had softened him. His body couldn't do what he demanded of it; maybe it was just the pregnancy draining him. Perhaps he should be heading up to Prince Trowa's estate. But he had no idea where that was and he didn't want to implicate him and Quatre just incase. So he stayed and endured the stares.

Why endure? Well Duo had never stared at him like that. Sure he had wanted Heero but the way Zechs stared at him made Heero feel dirty. He washed every night but he could still feel the weight of that stare on him. Mentally undressing him, seeing him as a body not a whole person. Duo had never looked at him like that.

It was funny Heero had never realized the difference before. No one would have dared to look at him like that when Duo was there. Now looking back he realized when Duo had stared at him he had also seen him. He had seen Heero as a whole person not just a pretty body. He had valued Heero's thoughts and listened to his opinions. There had been a warmth in his eyes that Heero had always dismissed. Now it made Heero wonder if Duo had actually spoken the truth when he had whispered those words of love.

~~~~~

Watching Dorothy smile and grab the apple Relena held to carefully slice it for her lover Heero frowned.

"Why did you do that Dorothy? Relena is uninjured she can feed herself." Heero asked tilting his head to the side in confusion as he tried to puzzle out her actions.

"Because I love her, and you do things like that for people you love." Came her standard reply.

After all Heero had asked her and Relena that many times already as he tried to figure this out. Looking back he could remember Duo doing that and thousands of other small thing for him. He just hadn't understood what they meant at the time. No one had taught him about the emotional aspects of love; after all he was raised to be a soldier.

"How do you know you love her? What is love?" Heero asked himself the last question more then any particular person.

"Man or woman it doesn't matter. Love is a warm tight hole to bury my cock in." Zechs said with a smirk then left the speechless room behind.

"Please forgive my brother." Relena said in a soft voice. "That isn't love. He doesn't remember what love is like. He's too bitter." Dorothy set the apple down to murmur softly into Relena's ear and the girl nodded.

"I'm sure you noticed that Zechs and I are both ageless. I was lucky Dorothy and I fell in love and have been together since then. My brother…Zechs was a sweet boy. He was a favorite among the villagers so when my parents died I was sent off to be a maid and some villagers adopted him. He is as you can see very beautiful. When he was around twelve a Niken Duke came through town and saw him. He took Zechs back with him as a `Companion' I think they became lovers. Doesn't matter any way cause Zechs idolized Trei… um that Duke. But one of the ladies of the local court was jealous and paid some kitchen boys to… rape my brother." Her voice died away to a whisper and Dorothy growled out the rest.

"She thought correctly that, that bastard wouldn't want `damaged' goods. He took one look and walked away leaving Zechs to die in a pool of his own blood from the injuries. He had arrived early enough to stop them but he had just stood in the shadows and watched those brutes defile her brother."

Heero wanted to reach out and comfort Relena but he just didn't know how. Dorothy gave him an understanding look. She rubbed Relena's back gently and the girl took a breath then continued shooting Heero a sad smile.

"Zechs would have died then but a Niken boy found him and cleaned him up. He spent a long time with special tinctures and potions healing my brother's body. Wu… I mean the boy didn't know what happened or who he was but he saved Zechs even though he was `just' a human. The boy was so in love with my brother and as a recent widower his family allowed him some leniency. He was so sweet and innocent; he was perfect to heal Zechs heart. After a long difficult courtship Zechs fell hard. He was really in love for the first time in his life and became Wufe… um the boy's donor. They had nine months of happiness before jealousy struck again. My brothers former `lover' was in love with his current aw forget it I'm sure you don't care who they were. Treize was in love with Wufei and there was nothing Zechs could do about it. But Wufei was an honest, kind, honorable person. He turned down everyone of Treize's offers even a very lucrative marriage proposal because Zechs." Relena got up and looked out a window seeming to gather herself together before she turned back to the table.

"My brother was told he better disappear or Treize would take him away from Wufei since he still had ownership of Zechs. So he left intending to return in a little while. When he went back a month later he saw his love making out passionalty with that cruel man. He called to him well Wufei … he turned to Zechs and looked at him in disgust. He called him a whore then walked away. He broke some sweet, fragile necessary thing in Zechs. Zechs came back here a stranger. He had changed so much… I didn't even recognize him when I came back here. I found out about what had happened on my own. Zechs never speaks of his past and he doesn't care about his future." Her voice ended in a sob, Dorothy watched as she ran off understanding Relena needed to be alone.

"Look kid, I don't think anyone knows what love is. There are no real definitions that feel right. I know what love isn't. It isn't the pure, unselfish, pristine and pleasant state everyone seems to think it is. At least it wasn't for me, who knows it may be different for you. I knew I loved Relena when I stopped seeing her as perfect and stopped glossing over her imperfections. I knew it when I saw her crying and instead of running for the hills I dried her tears because it hurt me when she was hurt. I knew it when I woke up one morning and couldn't remember waking up without her by my side. I knew it when I felt her blood singing through my veins after a feeding, feeling my entire body with her essence. I knew it most of all when I saw her smile and realized I couldn't live the rest of my life without that smile and I would do anything to see it again."

"I love seeing Duo smile…" Heero whispered in surprise. He hadn't really thought of it that way before.

"Then you're lucky. Not many have seen the emperor really smile, not even his family." Dorothy stated flatly.

"I know." Heero murmured wondering whom Duo smiled at now that he was gone. But it was too late, he had to protect the two souls he carried. Even from their other father.

"Hey Heero."

"Yeah?"

"You know a Niken child can't be created unless the parents both love each other. Right?"

"That doesn't really matter now. I already ran. Duo won't forgive me that."

 

 

 

Torn (For Zechs)

 

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm
He came around like he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Seem to care what your heart is for
But I don't know him anymore
There's nothing where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's fine I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn

So I guess the fortune teller's right
Should have seen just what was there
And not some holy light
Which crawled beneath my veins
And now I don't care
I had no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can touch I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn

There's nothing where he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothing's right I'm torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake
And I can see
The perfect sky is torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I'm ashamed
Bound and broken on the floor
You're a little late
I'm already torn
Torn..

___________________________

~Tsuzuku~

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