5-29-2001

Title: I have no idea......

 

I have no idea why I'm doing this, maybe I've had enough, or maybe I've just giving up on life. Whatever the reason he has finally given me a reason to just end my life. What life? I have no life. Just this computer and orders. Besides what would I do with peace? I have nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. This world would be better off without Heero Yuy. Duo would be better off without me. he spat the truth in my face. He had fallen for Hilde. Hilde was the woman he loved, the person he wanted to spend his whole life with.

He has given me that reason I needed to stop my suffering. I can finally leave this world,as I have been wishing the day Odin died. I hope he has a nice life with Hilde, because that's all I ever wanted. For him to be happy. I bet she does know it though. How she is the luckiest person in the world, to have won Duo's love. His unconditional love.

What would I have done with it anyway? I cannot feel. My training has brainwashed enough to deny me emotions.

Now I shall leave this world. With not a single regret in my mind. I have never felt sorry for anything I have done. I couldn't. Could I? Feeling sorry was an emotion. I don't have emotions.

It's time for me to leave. Let my soul wander. Killing yourself is not a sin to me. It's my only escape. I have nothing.

Just a single memory of someone I love. And I shall die thinking of that person and what might've been, if I acted sooner.

I did it. My wrists are cut. Only a matter of minutes till i die. My breathing.........is getting harder to stay awake. I can finally give it up. I close my eyes. I let myself fall into that eternal slumber, thinking only of what might have been.