8-17-2001

Author: Leena, silvarah@hotmail.com (I'll start to use that address after four days, peeps ^__^)
Disclaimer: I don't on GW or the characters, never have and never will.
Pairing: 1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: yaoi, weird, dark, AU, OOC, Heero's POV.
Feedback: Oh yeah! ^____^
Notes: The earlier parts of this fic can be found at my hp: http://www.geocities.com/dragonlady_silvara/
BGM: Gackt ^__^: Maria, Mizerable and Dears.

 

 

Perfect sunset and the moon for me 8+/8+

 

The hospital room smelled weird and way too pure and clean. It smelled like death and life at the same time, making the people wonder which one of those two options really happened here. The room looked so white, too: like nothing had ever stained it with blood or diseases. It was so pure in the way my love for the one laying between the white sheets was, forgiving and lush.

I exhaled deeply and turned to face the hurt beauty on the bed, taking in a deep and shuddering breath, feeling the tears in my eyes at the same time because of that sad and desperate sight. I felt like bursting out in laughter whenever I thought about the terrible fact that he was in that condition because of his own father. It was all so absurd and cruel, like a nightmare come true. It was my own personal nightmare that would haunt me forever. It would never let me go: it would always remind me of the way he was lying on the cold wooden floor, in the pool of his own blood. I remembered the feeling of him slowly slipping away from consciousness and this world so clearly, leaving me behind to cry and cling to him with all of my soul and might like I had never done before.

Slowly I shook my head, wanting to make those disastrous thoughts melt away from my mind and leave me alone with the one I truly adored.

Quietly I made my way towards the bed and the slim figure resting on top of it, oblivious to everything except his own inner world with his loving demons and hating angels. I still couldn't believe I loved him so much: he was so obnoxious and selfish at times. But then there were times he was so insecure, so deeply wounded that it hurt the very core of my being, my very soul. My soul, unlike my love, was tainted with blood now. It was tainted with his blood, my love's blood that spilled from the enormous and monstrous wound on his stomach, staining the floor and my mind. And I protected him the way I had promised the first day I saw him, laying in a hospital bed very alike to way he was doing it now, his body comatose.

And there he was in a coma once again. That made it twice in three years, twice in the short and painful life he has lived. But it was going to be the end of it now, because now he had me. He didn't need that moron of a mother and he didn't need this place. The only things he would really need now were my young body and my terrified soul. He needed all of me and I just knew that so clearly now. That tiny bit of knowledge born from the fear in my mind and his made me feel so beautifully adequate.

I couldn't help but smile when I approached him carefully, trying my best not to make any kind of irritating noise. I knew he wouldn't open his eyes and gaze up at me with those pretty violet eyes of his and smile at me, telling me that he would be ok soon. But it didn't prevent me from sitting on his bed and resting my elbows near his left side, careful not to hurt him at all. I lifted my trembling hand and threaded it into his hair, stroking the long chestnut wisps of hair softly and gently, worshipping the only part of him that really reminded me of how lively and perky he used to be.

I didn't even try to stop the flow of my tears as I raised my hand to the plastic bronchial tube that came out from his mouth and throat. I knew he was going to survive this: he was just too shocked to wake up immediately after the surgery. He didn't want to wake up and face this world. He didn't know for sure if I would be here waiting for him, or if I had died along with him on that fateful night.

So I just let my mind flow, thinking about the many ways to explain all of this to him after he had woken up. I would tell him how Relena had actually made friends with that idiot Helen before they moved here. I would tell him that it had happened right after his first accident, right after I saw him. I made Relena do it, demanding a small reward for the mental wounds and weaknesses she had caused on my mind, which was so full of hatred yet fragile. But I was surprised nevertheless, when she told she would do it, though she didn't like the reason behind all those sudden requests. Suddenly a nagging thought crossed my mind: would Duo be mad at me because I had tricked him in such a cruel way? Maybe I should have told him that I had been living on the same street as him for the few months of the hot summer. Maybe I should have told him right away that the very first time I saw him, I could sense death lingering around him like a thick and black blanket of night.

I sighed, the sound resigned and sad. A cold shiver ran through my spine as I remembered the pale emptiness of his heart at the moment of near death. The emptiness had pierced me, too, like an icicle without mercy: killed me with no regrets. I, too, had died for that little moment before the shocked paramedics had rushed in, their only intent being the resurrection of my love. But at the same time it had been the resurrection of my body and soul. Vaguely I had sensed my mother holding my hand against her breast and I felt her steady and rhythmic heartbeat in my tormented soul. She didn't want to let me go because of my love. She didn't think Duo was worthy of it.

But still she only had my comatose body: Duo had my living soul.

But here I was now, together with him. Helen had come to visit him once after the surgery, wailing and weeping all the time, trying to make everything better by regretting her former attitude. The moment our eyes met silently, I just know she knew me. Maybe Relena had told her about our weird relationship, maybe not. I guess I'll never find out, but that doesn't matter. The only thing I want to make sure Helen knows is that I'm far better for Duo that she could ever be. Deep down I know I'm like Duo: hurt and angry. But I don't want to pretend like Helen does. My life is not a bed of roses, but with Duo, it will be. She has to know that simple fact, and only that.

But, the funny thing is that in a way, Relena and Helen are still friends. It's so bizarre, because my mother is a manipulative bastard much like I am, but I think Helen really was in need of a tender shoulder. And Relena has apparently found a new toy to play with, and therefore let me go. She let my soul and mind out of her tight and malicious grip. But, though I always thought she was cold, I've grown to love her in my own way. At least I had a mother who paid attention to me: who did something with me.

I jumped a bit, turning to face the beautiful person on the bed immediately, when I felt a slight trembling under the hand that was now resting on his stomach. Huge and wounded pools of violet stared straight at me, so full of hate and fear. But when he recognised me, I could see how all the dark emotions left his being until there was nothing else left than a lost little soul under the weight of a scarred mind. He had been betrayed by both of his parents: the ones who should have loved him the most. He made me want to be close to him forever, to hold him close eternally and to cherish the flame of our love. Because though he had never said the words, I could read him better than he ever thought was possible. After I had spent so much time with Relena, who was definitely the mistress of the games of the mind, reading his emotions and feelings had been easy for me. It had always been so easy for me to analyse him: since the first time I saw him sleeping that seemingly endless sleep in the hospital bed. I felt his glorious will of life inside his body, trapped inside his modest and saddened mind, shouting to break free. And it was my mission, my only mission, to break him free from the cruel confines of his own life.

Now he was finally free, but at what cost! Luckily he had me, and he had those two friends he sometimes talked about. He would get to live at last.

"Hee.......ro....." His voice was so raspy and throaty, full of mental pain. I saw the way he was struggling with the tube sticking out of his mouth, trying desperately to breathe on his own. I closed my eyes, which were tired from watching over him, and laid my head on his chest.

"A...live...?"

"Yes, love, you're alive." I almost started to cry again when I heard my voice: it was raw with the adoration I felt towards him. I had never thought I could feel something like this burning emotion inside of me. I stretched out my hand, gently wiping away the layer of sweat covering his forehead. Then my fingers tenderly closed his eyes as I opened my own and looked out of the window. It was already dark: the sun had already set, leaving nature covered with dim black and grey shades.

"Hate....moon."

Now I felt the tears trickling down my cheeks, a clear sign of the sadness I was feeling. My love hated the moon, but that was the first thing he saw after he had woken up. This had been so awful to all of us, but the most for him. I had the control over the damned mirror in his house, and he knew nothing. He didn't even know that all of this happened only because Relena had been playing with the fire when she had been younger. Not literally, but she had been practising her soul projection skills in the room Duo now used to have without a medium. She had lost the control over her mind and her soul had been trapped inside the mirror once, and after that it had always recognised her and the people that had been in touch with her strong and willing mind. It had been the only way to save him: to get him to move into this house and protect him from afar. But I never thought we would fall so deeply in love. That opinion never crossed my mind, ever. And that was when the mirror started to use my feelings on its own dark purposes: the mirror was a part of Relena's wicked soul after all and it had a life on its own. It was a different dimension, and the only thing we could do now was to move away from it, and never to see it again. We had to forget the mirror and let Relena deal with it.

That transparent mirror had saved the life of my love, but it had hurt us both deeply by it and Relena's games. I didn't want to see that mirror ever again.

"Heero...?"

"Sleep, love. Tomorrow, you'll get to see the sunset."

"Perfect......?"

"Yes, every sunset with you is perfect."

-----------------

Okok, happy now? I didn't kill anyone for once...!!! *sweatdrops* Anyway, to make this even more clear, I'll say it once again: The mirror had a life on its own because Relena's soul had been once trapped inside of it. And when Heero had met Duo, and sensed the aura of death, he knew that the only invisible way to protect him woul be using that cursed mirror. So he made Relena to befriend Helen, and then suggest moving to that certain house, so that Duo could be seen by Heero at all times.

I'm not making any sense, now am I?!??!?!? *sweatdrops*

Finally... I figured out that if you have seen Neon Genesis Evangelion, the mirror is just like the Dirac Sea in it (remember the shadow of the angel Leliel)... only three nanometres thick yet an endless space: another galaxy or dimension. ^_^

Anyway, let me know what you thought of this whole fic thing-ish...!!! *smiles slightly*