8-9-2001

Disclaimer: I don't on GW or the characters, never have and never will.
Pairing: 1x2
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: yaoi, weird, dark, AU, OOC, Duo's POV.
Feedback: Oh yeah! ^____^
Notes: The earlier parts of this fic can be found at my hp

 

PERFECT SUNSET AND THE MOON FOR ME 8/8+

 

I laughed as Quatre told Trowa and me a joke, trying my best to keep the hamburger I was eating in my mouth. They had invited me to share a meal with them after school, obviously trying to cheer me up. I had been very distracted and annoyed during the past two weeks and all that just because I hadn't seen Heero since the last time I was inside the weird mirror. I missed him desperately, wanting and needing to feel the warmth and love he offered.

The laughter that had made the spacious dining room seem a bit lighter only a while ago, vanished as quickly as it had began. I was so deep in my thoughts, that I didn't notice the strange looks my best friends silently gave me. Neither did I notice the melancholy shaking of heads and small frowns that appeared on their foreheads, only to cease away immediately. I concentrated on the food in front of me, all the while thinking about my love and the information I had managed to find out about soul projection.

Basically it was that only Heero's soul was in the mirror: his body was in a comatose state, located in some other place. I doubted the place wasn't that far away from my house because he was able to spend such long periods of time with me without disappearing. Even with Relena's help, it just wasn't possible.

The other reason that had crossed my broken mind was that because Relena was a friend of Helen's, she had to live pretty close to us. At least in the same little town. I wondered with great interest if Heero was sleeping in their house, or if he had been brought into a hospital. I didn't have any clue what kind of coma he was in: it still could be dangerous, no matter that he retained his own free will. It made my heart flutter and sparkle as I thought about the simple fact of him being in the mirror because of me. He was in a coma because of me. And I smiled inwardly.

Suddenly I felt a terrible urge to go home as soon as possible. I felt nauseating and my hands were shaking. I don't know what was going on in my mind, but the uneasy feeling in my soul didn't leave me alone, though I tried to listen to Quatre and Trowa's cheerful conversation. I could tell all the joy in their words was faked: you just couldn't miss the nervous glances they sent in each other's direction. Briefly I was amazed how well I had withdrawn from my friends. I saw them at school, of course, but all the activity we used to have afterwards, had ceased a great amount.

"Excuse me. I don't feel so well." I almost started to laugh as I remembered the last time I had used that excuse. It had been the night when Relena had been dining with us. I looked at Quatre apologetically but sternly, wanting to leave so much it hurt. I didn't want them to ask any questions yet: only after this war of minds was over. Then I would explain everything to them and beg for their forgiveness because of my ignorance. I still wanted to be their friend: I just happened to have some personal problems at the moment.

I rose up from my wooden chair clumsily, not knowing what to do. I just walked to Quatre and pulled him up, hugging him tightly and gently kissing his cheek. It was a mere brushing of lips, but I felt so much more comforted by it. I repeated the same method on Trowa, hugging and kissing him lightly. But when I tried to let go, I felt another pair of arms wrapping themselves around my waist, clinging onto me in a friendly and gentle way. We didn't say a word, but somehow we didn't need to. This was a gathering of a group of friends: we knew each other without speaking. Don't ask how, we just knew.

But soon I couldn't stand the anxious feeling in the deepest pit of my stomach anymore, and I tenderly told them to let me go. They operated without questions, because like me, they knew the time for answers would come later on. The only thing in my mind was now, that I wanted to go home as soon as possible.

It was about two miles from Quatre's house to mine, but I wanted to walk a bit and clear out my thoughts. The weather was nice and just so purely autumn: the leaves of the trees surrounding the small path I was currently walking shone in many different colours and hues: brown, orange, green and red. There were even some yellow ones, fluttering in the colourful trees, trying to decide if they should fall or not. The path I was walking was covered with small sandy pebbles, which made a funny scratching and rasping sound under my black shoes. I think autumn really was the best time of the year: everything was so despairingly pretty. Days were only a bit chilly, but sometimes, at nights, the temperature would drop so much that in the morning you could see the leaves covered with a gentle layer of icy snow.

I smiled in my mind, though my mouth didn't move at all. I dreamed of Heero and I, walking together in a forest like this in the autumn, playing with the cheery leaves and laughing so hard it hurt. Then I sighed sadly, remembering that my beloved was currently in coma. I had to get him to wake up because I wanted to show him the beauty of nature like he had never seen it before. I wanted to watch the moon together with him, to fly to the moon together with him. We would fly in the black and endless space, only the two of us. And we would be together.

A small chuckle escaped my lips as my soft smile turned into a cruel smirk. I still hadn't encountered the one who would have wanted to kill me, but I felt the time for that sinister meeting would be ahead soon. Maybe the freezing feeling in my soul only prepared me for the worst. Maybe tonight would be the night I had been both waiting for and dreading. Heero was my only anchor in this huge gap between our worlds, and I intended to hold on tightly, never letting go.

I hadn't realized how fast I had been walking until I saw our old and wooden house, so different from the other stony houses. I didn't see any lights on and that could mean only one thing: Helen had to be out somewhere. Perhaps she was with Relena. Although I acted so sure, like nothing could never affect me in any way, I could already feel the weak feeling in my knees, quickly spreading all over my body, making my hands go limp and my heart bounce in my chest. The house was so dark and menacing: even malicious in a way. I felt like the whole house was against me in some bizarre way, wanting to throw me out of my own home.

Then I started to laugh because of the absurdness of my recent train of thought. But the small voice in my head still reminded me to be cautious, to watch my every step before actually taking it. I hugged my arms around my torso, relishing the sudden warmth that rang its little bells in the crucial parts of my body: my stomach, my feet and my hands. I hadn't noticed I had been feeling chilly and cold at all until the warmth had taken me by surprise. I found myself shrugging lightly, all the while walking towards my home.

It was as dark inside as I had first thought. Not even the cold light of the setting sun penetrated the curtains Helen had pulled to cover the windows. I frowned and made my way to my room, which was located on the second floor. I had always thought the stairs to my room were quite short, but now it took me ages to go up. Every step I took was a heavy thump against the polished wood, echoing in the small staircase. I stretched out my hand, trying to find the light switch, wanting more than needing the dim light to guide my way. However, when someone grabbed my arm, I let out a hollow shriek, almost falling down the stairs.

"Get into your room." The horrible voice that spoke those few small words was hoarse and straining, full of loathing and need. My legs were like jelly, but I forced them to take a few scared steps forward, trying to inch my hand out the strong grip of this stranger. My stomach was freezing like water in the winter: I was sure of it. There was nothing left in me other than the lonely feeling of trust towards Heero, that he would somehow come and save me like he had promised.

Then I was in my room, and the suddenly I was free again. I stumbled to the light switch, not really knowing what to expect. The switch clicked faintly when my trembling and sweaty fingers touched it. I couldn't make myself turn around and so I just stood there, facing the wall and holding my eyes closed. Maybe if I held them closed extremely tightly, not letting even a tiny sliver of light penetrate them, this all would be a dream. But deep down I knew I had no other option than to turn around and face my attacker. So I turned around, fear gripping my insides like it had never before and peeked through my closed eyelids, not wanting to see the truth.

And I felt an electric shock running through my whole frame. My hand flew to my mouth, as I stared at the hunching figure in front of me.

"Solo!"

The scared sound that came from my mouth was more like a little gasp or a moan than the helpless scream it should have been. I needed to shout and scream and I needed to make noise. Perhaps someone would it hear my desperation and come to see what was going on.

"Long time no see, son." Then he pointed a gun at me and started to laugh hysterically, not caring if the whole neighbourhood heard him. I had frozen the instant I had recognized my killer as the man I had some time called my father. My soul was breaking as all the pieces finally clicked. I could hear it from the way he laughed, and see it from the way he was standing, leaning against my desk: he was uncontrollably crazy. That had to be the reason Helen and I never stayed at the same place for long, why we were constantly moving and ripping my life further apart. I was so sure at the moment that it was because of him: he seemed like a man who would do anything to get his prey who was at the moment me.

I felt the panic rising in my mind faster than the wind blew. I had to get out of here: I couldn't have cared less how Solo got in. I only knew that I was living the last minutes of my short life if I couldn't to escape now. I made a run towards the door of my room, but I couldn't get out since I was forcefully pulled back into the cruel room behind. Solo's hand had shot out like a whip, once again gripping my wrist with his steely hands. I only stared at him, my eyes wide and scared, small tears falling from them.

Then he smiled at me, reaching out with his other hand and stroking my cheek idly. His smiled turned into a smirk, as he replaced his hand with the gun he had placed onto the desk a second before. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the white feeling inside of me, that feeling promising me safety and love.

Heero.

With a sudden movement, I tore my hand free of his grip and stumbled to the mirror, leaning against it desperately. I willed Heero to be inside, to be ready to accept me in. But though I tried so much and so forcefully, the mirror didn't give in. I was sobbing loudly, trying to keep Solo away from me by closing my eyes and covering them with my hands.

"Don't hide Duo, my dearest son, my darling... it will only hurt for a short while. Don't you want revenge against your mother because of everything she's done...?" I felt like vomiting when my former father spoke with that mad voice of his, promising to kill me as painfully as possible. His mind was beyond the reason at that point, ready explode under the mental madness. I couldn't believe he would go this far: to kill his son just to get revenge against Helen for some unknown reason.

My life was over; at least mentally, if not physically. My soul had suffered enough.

"Did you know that your mother is just a cheating whore? Do you have any idea how many men she has slept with? Do you know..."

His voice faded in the background as I finally felt the loving feeling behind me, stretching out for me and holding me close. I knew he would come, I knew I could trust his promises. He loved me and I loved him. But I knew were I to say a word, it would be my last. So I just let my mind and soul drown into the presence of Heero, to sink and float at the same time. I tried to block out everything: it was only us that mattered.

"Don't worry, love. The paramedics are coming soon."

Heero's voice was beautiful as always, but the words were something I hadn't expected at all. I was screaming inside my mind, knowing that he could hear and feel them in his trapped soul. He was talking about the paramedics though nothing had happened yet. He was talking like I was already been shot and dying. I wrenched my mind out of our communion, looking straight at Solo. He was pointing the gun towards me, his finger poised to press the trigger. I remember how someone once said that at the moment of your death you were supposed to see your whole life in front of you. But the only thing I could see was Heero's sad and airy face, floating in front of me, around me and almost inside me.

"If you are going to die, I am, too."

With those final words I felt something enter my body like hot magma, burning with each inch. I threw my head back, fighting against that feeling of absolute union of two souls. Now I knew how Heero had felt every time I had come through the glassy mirror, now I knew how strange, painful and good it felt. The rational part of my brain told me to run away before it was too late, but when I tried to move my limbs, they didn't move. I was held captive against my saviour.

It wasn't even a second after Heero's soul had fully entered my body, when a gunshot was heard and I was slammed even tighter against the mirror I now felt breaking to sharp pieces behind me. The pain was unbearable, but the sight of my life's blood oozing out of the wound in my stomach was even more so. My legs couldn't hold my weight anymore and I was falling into the solid floor, desperately trying to prevent the blood from flowing out with my now-stained hands. I felt the soul inside me trembling, not knowing what to do until I slid onto the floor limply, all the feeling leaving my body.

Then his soul sprang to life, swimming in my body and trying to find a way to prevent my death. Finally it curled itself around my heart, squeezing it tightly inside of it, keeping the steady rhythm going, though the other parts of my body were already numb and bloody and at the brink of death.

A solitary tear fell from my eyes: eyes that had seen many bad things in this life. Then I realized absently that it wasn't my tear after all: Solo was crying. He hugged my bloodied body to his, gulping down huge breaths and trying to wipe his eyes at the same time. He was mumbling something incoherently, his mouth moving feverishly. But I was too gone to care anymore. Were I to die now, I would at least die with my loved one, with my only beloved and the only good thing ever happened to me.

Faintly I could hear the sirens howling outside, near my house and after a moment, a piercing scream echoed in my ears dimly: Helen. But the only feeling left in me was the erratic beating of my heart and his soul. And frankly, it was the only thing I wanted to feel.

----------------------------

Ahhh... I'm soo happy it's almost over... I mean, it has been fun to write this fic, but I'm leaving to Japan in a week and half and I would love to finish this before... So, now it seems like I'm gonna manage after all!

And, I promised it wouldn't be a deathfic... didn't I? ^____^