Author: Leena, firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: I don't on GW or the characters, never have and never will.
Rating: PG-13 I think
Warnings: yaoi, weird, dark, AU, OOC, Duo's POV
Notes: Maggi.... a big hug for you! ^_^ You know why...
Yahoo sucks... (no suprise there) I've posted many replies today, but they've all gotten lost. So unfair. Hmph.
PERFECT SUNSET AND THE MOON FOR ME 5/?
"I'm... going to die?" My voice was broken and hollow. It was
almost as if all the life had already left my body until only an empty shell
existed. "Murdered..." I tried to break free from his grasp, telling
him to let me go. I wanted to escape and save my precious life even if it
would mean that I would have to separate from him. A human is a selfish
being after all; almost always only thinking about himself. And I was no
But his grip was just too strong for me. Though I struggled and squirmed, he didn't let go. He tried everything to make me realize that I had to be sensible and rational, that I shouldn't let the pain in my heart blind me. "I'm here to protect you, Duo." I had never heard his voice like this before. It was so throaty, sure and soothing. And the feeling of his voice inside my head brought me back from my hysterical state of mind. He didn't even ask before he started to pull me inside the mirror once again. And I was too panicked to do anything.
"Don't think, Duo" His voice was so loving, almost as if he faked it all. Fortunately, this thought made me remember what he had told me about obeying his will while sliding inside the mirror. So I just hung there numbly and let him do all the work. But I have to admit that it didn't feel as bad this time. Actually, the feeling was almost relaxing, almost as if I was swimming in a deep and cool ocean. And in a way I was diving through the dimensions, floating in the airless space between them. I felt the familiar pressure in my head and a small tinge of pain running through me. But the mirror could do nothing now, when two souls were against it. And because Heero was the master of the mirror, it was an easy and sweet victory for us.
When I felt two hands encircling my waist loosely, I knew I was safe. My anger towards him had burned away like a piece of wood in a hot bonfire after his threatening words. Somehow being here, in this mirror, calmed me down greatly. I felt as if I was safe from the sinister world that wanted to take away my life. But here nothing could get to me because this was another world: Heero's world. I smiled through the frightful haze in my mind, trying to forget his horrid prediction. The strong arms around me pulled me backwards until I collided with his taller body. I could feel his heart beating against my back, so full of life. He inhaled the rosy scent of my hair deeply, basking in the softness of it.
"I just wanted to say it again. I just wanted you to know that I love you." His voice was so unbelievingly quiet and breathy. He didn't expect me to answer anything as he hugged me tighter. For a moment I forgot everything else: his dark words and my violent world. I just wanted to be me for a little while, to enjoy the heavenly moment that passed between us.
This time he let me go when I struggled a little bit. But I only wanted to turn to look at him searchingly, my eyes cool. He read the unsaid question in my eyes easily and bowed his head slightly. He knew that I had every right to be angry with him since he hadn't been completely honest. He hadn't been lying, but he hadn't been telling me the whole truth, either. And more specifically, he had left all the important things untold. He must have seen my feelings from my eyes, because he took one step backwards. But I was faster, forcefully pushing him to the soft ground and straddling his slim waist.
After that we just lay there, my eyes staring at his hotly. Inside I knew that I was only acting. And maybe he knew it, too, because he didn't even try to get up. He knew that in the end I would submit to him, adoration and obsession in my eyes. And he knew that I couldn't force him to tell me anything he didn't want to. But this was my only chance: I had to try.
"Now, Heero, you're going to tell me exactly what did you mean with that statement about my death." My eyes were dead serious when I pressed my aching lips to his. The kiss was savage and hot. It was pure white hell and I was in Heaven. I smiled lightly into it, thrusting my tongue inside his mouth. It felt so strange to see him like this, surrendering to me. Even if he was only faking.
However, my happiness didn't last long. His long arms snaked their way around me: the left one disappearing inside my shirt, stroking my back. I shuddered as his right arm slid even lower, to my buttocks. Startled, I broke the kiss and stared in his eyes, my eyes full of amazement. His eyes were as dark as night now, only a small portion of the blue iris could be seen. His mouth was slightly open, his breathing sending shivers down my spine. I knew he wanted me badly. The desire was so obvious in a way he tried to make my skin crawl. I couldn't help but feel a little bit scared because I knew where this was going. Even the lights in the air knew it, covering us with a lush red colour.
"Answers, love?" Heero's voice was as gentle as his hands were. "I'll give you all the answers you want." I heard a ripping sound and realized that it had been my shirt. I watched in awe as he tossed it in the air, making it disappear. Tonight his wondrous powers were stronger than they had ever been before. I could sense it so clearly; the powerful feeling of him was almost trying to suffocate me. "Duo, yield to me." It wasn't actually a sincere request: it was a command, an order. But I just shook my head, refusing to give in. I wasn't a puppet, he couldn't just tell me what to do. I wasn't a lifeless doll. But though there were times when he treated me like one, I couldn't be angry with him. Now it felt so impossible and surreal how I had lost my temper earlier.
Then I was suddenly lying under him, his body pinning mine to the ground. His eyes froze my soul and burned my heart. Hesitantly I brought my hands to his face, stroking lightly. It was such an innocent gesture straight from my heart and I saw his face melt under my touch. He leaned into it, closing his eyes. Our lips met beautifully and hesitantly, as if for the first time. I started to take away his odd, black cape, wanting to see and feel more of his skin. Everything was perfect now, but why did I feel like a whore?
The answer was simple: I was willing to give him my virginal body to get the answers I wanted.
Our upper bodies were now bare, pressed against each other, feverish skin against feverish skin. It was such a new and odd feeling, but completely pleasurable. His hands were everywhere: stroking my face, tugging at my hair and freeing it from its messy braid. He was loving me in a way that made me feel cherished and good, not trying to do anything else than caress my burning chest and back. I could only return a small part of the caresses given; I was way too concentrated on my own feelings and my own body. Every once in a while I leaned to kiss him lovingly, voicing my feelings through my actions. But still, I was hesitating and he noticed it.
He pressed his lips to my forehead, crushing our bodies together. I could feel both of our hearts beating in sync, adoring each other. He really was in me as much as I was in him. The pure thought of that made me light-headed. And still the only thing I could think of was that I was cheap.
"You don't have to do this." When he stopped, I was sure he had seen my bittersweet and forbidden emotions from the sky. His voice was calm and understanding, though I didn't know how it was possible. I had been making little whimpers all the time and I was sure that my voice would have been raspy were I to say something.
"It's not your body I want the most; your fascinating heart will be enough for now." His words were so sincere that my soul ached for him. The sky above us was smirking at us, the deep red colour of passion turning into a lighter shade of affection. I couldn't help but smile: maybe we didn't need sex to be close to each other mentally and physically. And no need to say that I was relieved. For me this would have been a real experience, but for him this would have been only another game of the mind, experience only on a mental level.
"Yes... you want the heart you're protecting." As I had guessed, my voice was hoarse. Timidly I placed his hand to my heart, but he replaced it soon with his head, listening to the soothing and living sound of the heart under him. His dark hair tickled my skin and I let a small laugh rumble in my belly, making his head bounce a little. I felt his fleeting smile until his statement turned serious again. He brought one hand up to my face again, tracing my lips with a slim finger. I let it slip deliberately into my mouth, my tongue coming to taste the foreign invasion. Then I bit down hard, making his finger bleed.
"Did I hurt you?" My voice was barely a gentle whisper of wind as I glanced into his eyes. He nodded, his eyes glinting. Then he frowned deeply and brought the finger to his mouth. "Why did you do it?"
"I wanted to cause you pain because of everything you've made me go through." My answer was frank, but the tone of my voice wasn't angry or bitter: it was neutrally thin. "You're cruel, Heero. You might not realize it yourself, but you are dangerous." I continued to speak nonchalantly, masking my fear. At this point I didn't care if I angered him anymore. I knew now that he wasn't going to hurt me intentionally. At least I hoped I was right for once in my life: that I was in control.
However, I started when he suddenly crawled up my body until he could look straight into my eyes. The mirror around us was silent and almost black. He was controlling all the emotions here; he decided if he wanted me to see my thoughts in the sky. And now, he apparently didn't. It was time for the dark answers I had wanted to know.
"I'm not cruel." It was such a simple comment. Three little words that fell from his lips to my ear. His teeth followed the words, tugging slightly at my earlobe. "This is hard for me, too. To protect you only with my fragile soul." I wanted to ask him why he wasn't there for me physically, only mentally, but I didn't. Then my all of my thoughts were swept away as he kissed me deeply, rubbing his whole body against mine. He was desperate and I was anxious. We were perfect together.
"Do you think that you haven't caused me any pain before?" Another kiss was placed on my trembling lips. "Don't you know how horrible it is to live with the knowledge of your possible death?" His hands were stroking my throat, making me speechless. "It brings me pain to see you, to feel your stubbornness. And the fact, that you don't fully trust me brings me even greater pain." He swiftly stripped me from my trousers and threw them in the air. They disappeared just like my shirt had before, leaving no trace. I was just lying there, scared and naked, not looking at his face. I didn't want to see his statement full of malice, full of darkness. Had he been lying when he had said that he was content with my heart? Had he been faking all the intense emotions inside him?
"You are so beautiful and exquisite." His voice brought me back from my thoughts. Hesitantly I stared into his deep blue eyes, covering them with my violets. He was smiling down at me, the smile small but soft. Timidly he traced one finger on my chest and abdomen, mapping my body. Then he jerked his finger away, covering my body again with his own. "I don't know who wants to harm you. I wish I did, though." With those words he crushed my hopes. There was no way I could protect myself now, no way that I could prepare for my death.
"But you said you're here to protect me. How do you know about my death?"
He hugged me lovingly, making my skin melt. "I can sense it. The feeling of death is powerful around you, swirling in your mind and around your body. Your soul is surrounded by darkness and your heart is already slowing. Death is waiting for you." His eyes told me not to cry; that he would be there for me. I bit my lower lip painfully until it bled, trying my best to keep my furious tears at bay. The coppery taste was almost divine because it was the taste of pain, the taste of monstrosities that had been done to me. Heero bend to lick the thin red line from my lip, completing the movement with a kiss.
"I'm sorry I'm so unstable at times. It is just that the darkness around you is choking me and blurring my mind until I can't think anymore. And then you'll make me so angry. The pain makes me angry." I just nodded, closing my eyes. So, Heero wasn't really a mean person: it was because of me that he became so furious at times. He just wanted to protect me in a supernatural way only he was capable of doing. But who was he and how did he know me?
"Heero... are you real or is this all some kind of hallucination? Am I just imagining all of this?" My voice was as broken as my heart. I never knew there could be so many different kinds of heartbreaks. My heart wasn't broken because of an unrequited love: it was broken because death had a grip of it. But I wanted to know how to heal my heart: how to glue the pieces back together?
"I'm a real person, Duo." I started when I heard that. He was a real person: maybe there was something right in this world after all. I felt a joy bubbling in my stomach, crawling upwards until my lips curved into a smile. I could see the air around us lighting up in all shades of soft green and blue. Heero had let the air reflect my feelings again, perhaps because he, too, wanted to admire them. I had to say that at that moment, my feelings were the oddest sight I had ever seen. They were baby blue and meadow green with tinges of wedding white.
"But, how can only your soul be here? Where is your body?" I was still confused. My eyes were wide and eager to find out the truth. But he just let out a small chuckle, entwining our fingers once again. We were just lying there, content. It felt so natural to be with him because between us there were no uncomfortable moments. He made me whole in a way no one had ever done before: by giving me his mind to play with. I finally realized the risk he had taken by accepting my body inside his mind. Mind was the centre of humanity and he allowed me to enter his soul and mind, trusting that I wouldn't harm them permanently. It was an overwhelming feeling of power that this knowledge gave me.
"Did you know that I was adopted?" I could hear the pain he tried to block so hard in his tender voice. At that moment I didn't know what to say. He was stroking the palm of my hand absently, lost in his thoughts. I wasn't sure if he tried to change the subject, or if that comment really had something to do with all of this. But I waited patiently, giving him all the time he needed.
"I just thought you should know that since I'm only able to meet you because of her. She's a powerful medium, you know. She makes it possible for my soul to communicate with you." I was still silent, waiting for him to continue. He turned slightly and gazed intensely into my eyes, trying to stifle a smirk. I frowned deeply, urging him to go on with his story. I felt something uncomfortable gnawing my stomach, as if it was trying to tell me that something was wrong.
"Actually, you've already met my mother." Now he was definitely smirking, his eyes glowing in the light of my emotions. I started to feel very uncomfortable, slowly edging away from him. But he pulled me close to him and didn't let me go.
"Because, love, Relena is my mother. Thank her the next time you'll see her."
Heh.... I've created such a complicated web... let's see if I can find my way out. O_o
The next part won't be out until after two weeks or so, because I'm leaving
to Belgium. Heh ... Yeah.