Author: Leena (aka Silvara), firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: I don't on GW or the characters, never have and never will.
Rating: PG-13 for now...
Warnings: yaoi, weird, dark, AU, OOC(?), Duo's POV
Feedback: Oh yeah!
See, see! I took away the 'possible death' warning...! ^___^
Actually, you have to thank Adriana for that *smiles*
And thanks Maggi for betaing this!
PERFECT SUNSET AND THE MOON FOR ME 3
"So... I'm in the mirror now?"
As I already told you, my voice wasn't at its best then. Actually, it was strained from the horrible physical pain I had felt only a little while ago, and it was thin because of the mental confusion I was feeling right now. Here I was in the mirror, held by the young man, who made my heart freeze and burn at the same time. I could smell his scent and I could feel his lithe body against my own. I could see him as I had never seen him before and I could almost taste him. It was intoxicating how my body and mind reacted to him. I even think that it was because of his touch that my pain had subsided greatly. He had been so worried over me a little while ago, when I had come through the glassy but watery surface of the mirror.
"It hurt..." I whispered before I could stop myself. He only hugged me tighter kissing my ear lightly.
"I know. But you must obey my will whenever you're dealing with this particular mirror." He didn't sound angry, just worried. I was so very confused, but still I only wanted him to be happy: I wanted him to smile at me. Or even give me a view of that deliciously terrifying smirk of his. I buried my hands in his hair and pulled his face to my neck, aching eternally for his touch. He immediately bit down to mark me as his, his warm breath washing my skin from the pain. So, I indeed was his puppet in some mysterious way and there was nothing I could do about it if I wanted to know more about this mirror and more about him. What a bittersweet thought.
Though he was abusing my flesh, his touch was quite gentle at the moment; it was something I was going to cherish until the very last day of my life. The way he hugged me, telling me without words that I was his. It was fascinating how a simple hug can mean so many things at once or then mean nothing. Quatre's hugs gave me nothing but friendly comfort, but Heero's hugs gave me penetrating comfort along with burning pleasure. The way he stroked my body, making my skin melt under his acid touch: it drove my young and inexperienced body crazy. He was beautiful and attractive but extremely poisonous. To tell the truth, I didn't want to see him when he'd reveal all the venom inside him. He was already poisoning me little by little with his temperamental quirks.
I tried to concentrate on my surroundings but, as weird as it sounds, I couldn't see anything. We were surrounded by darkness, which was as black as my mind was blank at that very moment. I could make out the faint outlines of the mirror but only because they were glowing. It was weird to see my room from the other side of the reality: it looked very different. It looked like everything was fading: my bed, my carpet, my empty walls. I was fading, too, until he brought me back with his voice and eyes.
"So... do you like my mirror?" He looked at me proudly, his eyes shining with some strange emotion. But I was sure that I heard a small amount of uncertainty in his voice as he spoke those words. Maybe my situation wasn't that bad after all: it looked like I had some control over him. He wanted me to like his mystical dimension. But I had forgotten how to speak as I let my eyes linger in his form. I had never been this close to anyone and in a way it was frightening. I absently wondered if it all would have been different had he been a woman. I strongly believed that it wasn't the sex that mattered: people in love should love the soul inside the body of their beloveds. So it wasn't hard for me to accept the fact that I had become attracted to a man. I remember once asking Quatre if he and Trowa were only friends. They were so close to each other, at least mentally, if not physically. They spent a lot of time together, even now when I had become a part of their group. I know they were seeing each other "behind my back". It all seemed so unreal to me. How could two people be so close if they weren't lovers? But Quatre had only laughed merrily and told me that there was absolutely nothing romantic between him and Trowa, that they were best friends and nothing else. And I had believed him. He didn't sound as if he was trying to protect a drastic secret. He was in a way so innocent. They both were. But what actually is innocence? Are you innocent if you've never seen anyone dying? Are you innocent if you've never made love? Are you innocent if you've never been drunk?
"You didn't answer me." I just stared at him in silent wonder. I didn't understand how my thoughts could wander in a moment like this. But somehow they always got carried away. In a way, it was as if I was sitting in a history lesson. I acknowledged the place and the surroundings, but everything that happened around me was like dust. There is always dust everywhere, flowing and flying around me but I couldn't have cared less.
It was the same here. I knew what was happening, but it was just like air to me. My thoughts were the most important thing to me in the world. But now I was awed myself, because I hadn't thought this place was comfortable enough for me to space out like that. But apparently it was. Or perhaps the comfortable presence around me emitted from Heero. Being near him gave me the ethereal feeling of wholeness I hadn't experienced before. It was almost like I knew him: our hearts were so close to each other that at times I could feel his heart beating in my chest.
"It's... black." I had to say something about this strange world, because I didn't want to anger Heero on his own ground. I offered him a tentative smile, expecting him to brush it off and say something cold to me again with his eyes, if not with his lips. But he just smiled. "It's whatever you want it to be." I frowned deeply as I heard that statement. How can I bend a reality to my will? I started when his soft and warm hand found mine and he pulled me up. "I'll show you." He was being so nice to me but still I had a feeling that he wasn't telling me everything. And that something made him dangerous.
I only nodded once, telling him without words that I accepted his offer. Actually, there was nothing I wanted more at the moment.
We started to walk away from the mirror, from my glowing portal to my own world. I stared numbly at the blackness that was suffocating the air around us. It was as black as my mind. And then I began to panic. My hands were sweaty and I nervously bit my upper lip as I continued to follow Heero. Suddenly he stopped and pulled me to him. I realized that I couldn't see the portal anymore because we were too far away. "How big is this mirror...?" It was the first time inside the mirror that I voluntarily said something to him before he spoke to me. But I really wanted to know: there was a possibility that everything I was experiencing was just an illusion created by either him or by my crazy mind.
"It is as big as you want it to be." Slowly I turned to look at him, my eyes blazing with unholy violet fire. I was angry with him for toying with me like that. I wanted some real explanations, not some lies he half-heartedly threw in my direction. "Answer me!" I screamed while pushing him away. "Give me at least one good answer, please!" My voice turned from anger to desperation. I slumped to the glassy ground, my whole body shaking with emotions. "I don't want to hear any of those riddles anymore. Just... just let me out." My voice was so cold that you could almost see my breath freeze. But in his eyes I saw a monstrous blizzard. He let the storm in his eyes scare me as he took a threatening step towards me. At least, it seemed threatening to me.
However, suddenly he looked like all the fury had been drained from him and his voice was only tired and sad as he approached me almost timidly, sitting down next to me and taking my hand in his, entwining our fingers tightly together. "So you want the truth?" His voice was soft and sensual. "Pay more attention to your surroundings and not to your thoughts. And calm down already: didn't I tell you that I mean no harm to you. Haven't you seen that yet?" Another one of those sweet kisses was placed on my dry lips. Once again he had surprised me completely. First so full of rage and now only tired because of my stubborn attitude.
But now when I was finally free from my disturbing thoughts, what I saw swirling around us surprised me even more. The inner mirror wasn't black anymore but instead it was covered with many different shades of colours. I gasped and unconsciously clutched his hand even more desperately. I wasn't angry anymore, only amazed and a bit terrified. Finally something was going the way I had wanted it to go. And at the same time, it was not going well at all. But I was finally able to find out more answers about this magnificent mirror and its calm prisoner.
"Heero, what is this?" My voice broke down in the middle of the sentence as the scenery changed suddenly. Now the lights were shining brightly, twinkling in a way only the stars could twinkle outside this wondrous dimension. They weren't anything like the fireworks that could be seen on New Year's Eve either. No, they were more like our inner lights, which were now bared for our eyes only. They swirled and bounced around us, embracing us and covering us. They made me whole and they made me feel relaxed. As my emotions changed from angry to surprised and from stunned to calm, so did the lights. At the moment I was happy and content, just being there with my Heero and watching the most extraordinary light show I had ever seen. Slowly but surely the lights changed from bright and colourful to the light shades of pastel colours.
"Do you understand now?" Heero pulled me down so that we were lying on the floor of the mirror. Or whatever you wanted to call it. It was glassy like the mirror itself had been, but still it wasn't transparent or even completely solid. But we weren't floating aimlessly in the air, either. Maybe I shouldn't even try to describe the feeling of being in the mirror. And breathing in the mirror. The air was clean and not polluted at all like it usually was in big cities. My current hometown wasn't that big, so I had a chance to get fresh air to my starving lungs. But here it was just a pure heaven. I think I should do this more often: just shut out all my thoughts and concentrate solely on my senses and feelings. I wasn't saying that I didn't pay attention to my senses at all, I just didn't seem to do it often enough if the results of such a simple act were so wonderful. One more reason for me to try to live a normal life again. I think I should suggest it to Helen some time. She shouldn't think about dark things so much, just feel the nature around her; living and telling her to live on and enjoy her time spent here, in this life.
I felt my lips form a smile, which was the happiest and most real I had given anyone for a long time. But the most amazing thing was that I saw Heero smiling, really smiling, back at me. That specific smile raced straight to my heart, piercing it with its sweet promises and desperate need to make me happy and I think it was then, that I realized I was hopelessly falling for him.
"Do you understand now?" Heero repeated the question, but didn't let me answer it before starting to explain this marvellous phenomenon to me. Apparently the glowing lights I was seeing were abstract reflections of the feelings deep inside me: sadness, joy, love, envy, awe, calmness. Everything I was feeling was mirrored in the very air around us. So, in my reality the magical mirror clearly reflected the physical side of my life.
It looked as if the mirror reflected the mental side of my life as well. But to see that chaotic sight I had to go into the mirror, I had to be a part of it like I was at the moment. Do you have any idea how weird it feels to see your thoughts mirrored in the sky? And to be able to watch them with the person you've started to rely on. It was scary how I trusted him with my mind like that since he was practically a complete stranger to me. A very enticing and mysterious stranger, who obviously cared for me in some devilish way.
He was my obsession and had been for a while now. Ever since he first appeared in front of my eyes and caressed my body with his hands and his eyes, I had been addicted. Even now, when he was sitting right next to me, I was only craving for more, my heart sending painful waves of desire and obsession floating through my body, fueling it with their divine blessing. He ruled my mind with his mood swings and cold eyes and there was nothing I wanted to do about it.
But if he was my obsession, I was definitely his possession. The way he looked at me, touched me and spoke to me told me that I couldn't escape the psychic prison he had set around me. He made me angry because he was trying to control me, telling me continuously to obey him at least inside the mirror. But despite all that, he also made me happy whenever he smiled at me or held me close shielding my fragile body and soul from the terrors of the world and reality. He was a complete mystery to me and I was sure he intended to keep it that way. At least for now. But I wanted to know if it was possible for us to be together in my world as well. And for the first time in my life, I felt a terrible urge to kiss someone, to kiss him.
I felt myself blush at the sheer thought. My mind was clouded with small doses of embarrassment and excitement as I glanced in his direction, admiring his looks. He looked enigmatic as he sat there, looking calmly at my deepest feelings. His brown hair was wild and his eyes were half-closed, as if he was trying to analyze the patterns in the air. Actually, they had changed again; now, when I was feeling embarrassment, the whole area was tainted with a slight pink colour with a couple of flowing black stripes that mischievously lured us to inch closer to each other. I could feel the heat from his body and his breath as he turned his blue eyes on me, watching me like I was an exquisite flower.
I couldn't take the stimulation of his gaze anymore as I pulled him close to me with my hands in his messy hair and sealed our lips together. For a second everything stood still. We were staring deeply into each other's eyes, searching for something I couldn't fully define. But it was erotic: we were sharing our very breath at the moment. First he breathed his life to my lungs and I returned it just as carefully back to him, giving him mine as well. Our lips stayed still the whole time, tightly wound against each other so that not a single bit of our lives was wasted. Finally I wasn't able to take that anymore and I tore my lips from his only to bring them back a second later. Then it wasn't a gentle and loving kiss anymore. His arms found their way around my smaller body as he crushed my body to his chest like I had crushed my lips to his.
It was pure fever kissing him like that. Or being kissed by him like that. He hugged me so tightly that it was hard to tell where our bodies separated. They sang an old song of desire in unison and the mirror danced around us in perfect harmony with the song, the colours of our minds reflecting themselves in the dance. He was in me and I was in him. The sensations only deepened when he forced his tongue into my surrendering mouth. I was pure honey in his hands as he explored my inexperienced mouth inside out and he knew that, because I felt him smile against my lips. It was a possessive smile, which made my heart go berserk only for him.
"How do you like my mirror?" he was growling now, trying to eat me alive.
"I love it... I love it..." My breath was ragged against his feverish lips. I didn't want to separate from him, if it was only to whisper a couple of words. His possessive hands had somehow found their way to my bare skin and now they were stroking my back.
"Good..." He was licking and suckling my earlobe demandingly. "Because whenever you are in this mirror, you are in a way in my mind." I didn't fully register the words until he pulled away from me, leaving me panting and vulnerable. "Did you hear me? You are inside my mind: you are in touch with my very soul."
I think I fainted.
Njah... Feedback is, as always, greatly appreciated!!! and new ideas, too! *grins*