I bet you all thought this fic was dead. Hah! You were wrong! We're back, bearing Part Two of A Twisted Mission. Now, a quick poll. Who actually REMEMBERS this fic from way back when? *crickets chirp* Oh. Thought so. Well, that's why we're reposting Part One also, so that if you haven't already read Part One, or if you read Part One a long time ago and now forget it, you can reread it and refresh yourself.

Starsha says that she is very proud of her lime abilities. (She wrote most of that limey part. I just reworded and edited it.) She craves C&C on that part in particular, since this is our first citrusy scene that we've ever written together.

We had to send this in two parts because it was too big to send in one part.

Warnings: Yaoi, lime, language, etc etc etc. This DOES have a plot, but in the words of Starsha: "The main point of this is to get Duo in a dress and to get Heero jealous."
Disclaimer: GW isn't ours. You can't sue. Hah.

Enjoy! C&C craved!

by Laisia (animestarre@aol.com)
and Starsha (sailorsagitarius@aol.com)

Wufei awoke with a pounding headache and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. //Shit! Where the hell am I, and what the hell happened? All I remember is being stoned... aww, shit, that must be it...// he thought, wincing. He looked around to see that he was in a narrow and dark alleyway, which was as dirty as dirty gets. There was some light, but not a lot of it. From what he could tell, this alleyway wasn't that far from the safehouse. Deciding that he should probably know what he had done last night, he scoured his memory for answers. The answers came in the form of a scene replaying through his head.


He was sitting at the bar, chugging down beer like there was no tomorrow. Sluggishly turning around at the sound of shouting, he nonchalantly observed them through glassy black eyes. Their voices rang on his ears distantly, yet distinguishably.

"You bastard! You scum-sucking low-life! What gives you the right to have Mara?" yelled the dark-haired man, poison dripping from his voice.

"More right then you have. You've been fucking stalking the girl, and she doesn't want you, she wants me!" the light-haired man replied angrily, tone rising.

More mutterings, curses, and shouted insults were heard. He decided to put his two cents in, having nothing better to do. "Who cares about a stupid onna? They are worthless and weak."

No sooner than had the foolish words left his mouth, he was trying to fight two very strong, burly men who weren't hopelessly drunk, like he was. They fought for what seemed like an eternity, but finally one of them landed a punch, and he started to fall. Feeling himself fall, he tried to regain his balance, but it was in vain. When he actually hit the ground, he was already unconscious.


"Hn. I should have known that a stupid onna was behind this. Who else would make my night a living hell?" he muttered as he leveled himself up off the ground. As he looked down in order to see where he needed dusting off, he noticed something.

He was wearing a dress.

"SHIMATTA!" His shout rang off the alley walls, amplifying it, and he had to put his hands over his ears to block out his own horrible sound.

He stared down at himself in disbelief. A skimpy white halter-top hung on his shoulders, a poor excuse for a shirt. The wine-colored skirt that clung to his legs was barely as long as his hand, from fingertip to wrist. A pair of black fishnet stockings graced his legs, topped off with a clunky black pair of bitch boots.

But on his stomach was the worst atrocity of all... an intricate blue and green flower tattoo. "Now I will never be worthy of Nataku!" he cried out.

He ran from the alley all the way back to the safehouse. Before this had happened, he had thought about visiting Sally after stopping by the bar. But now, it was simply out of the question. He could only thank his lucky stars that Duo wasn't home to see him dressed like this. If Duo had been home to see it, he would never hear the end of it.


I snuck through the shadows, as quiet a cat. I was on my way to a meeting at Trowa's and Heero's, and I had a lot on my mind. First was the fact that Quatre could act so... submissive and quiet-like. I could hardly believe it! I mean, Quatre is a leader type of person, and he is not really feminine at all. Well, sure, he does sort of have that girlish look about him, and he is sensitive to others, but that's the only thing that's feminine about him. I never thought he was such a great actor, and I told him so early on in the day. He had given me a secretive smile and winked at me.

Shaking my head, I remembered two other dilemmas. One was not being able to see Heero very often, and the other was how us four pilots were going to keep a low profile and still be able to see each other. Then, after thinking about it in every class that day, and, not too incidentally, not paying attention to a word any of the teachers had said to me, I had thought of the perfect solution. It would solve both of my problems at once. That was, of course, unless one of the others disagreed, but I doubted that, because it was a good idea. Besides, I didn't think anyone would mind... except, maybe Heero. I'd just have to wait and see what happened, then.


I knocked quietly on the door and waited for someone to answer. Quatre answered the door and pulled me in, whispering to me, "We were just discussing how we're going to be able to keep in contact with each other. We haven't come with anything though, so if you can think of anything..."

Strolling in, I glanced at the other two pilots and chirped, "Hey! Do you have any food in here? I'm starved!"

Trowa looked up at me and tossed me a box. "Here," he said. "I'm done with it, anyway."

"Hey, thanks!" I said happily, catching the bag. I looked at the label to see what it was. "POCKY! SUGOI!"

Heero coughed. "If you don't MIND, Duo, we need to make a plan!"

I looked up, Pocky sticks protruding from my mouth. "Mhm. Rhhih, yhhohsh!"

"Nani?" Quatre asked, raising an eyebrow.

I swallowed my snack. "I SAID, 'Mm. Right, yosh'!"

"Anyway, any ideas?" Quatre continued, looking at me expectantly.

"Believe it or not, yes I do!" I said happily. "Here's my idea. We can pose as couples! If we seem like we're going out with each other, it'll give us an excuse to see each other a lot. Also, it'll keep the other students from bothering us about going out with them."

The room fell silent.

"What? WHAT? Isn't it a good idea?! What's wrong with that! Trowa and Quatre are already together, so that solves one half of the problem anyway! That leaves me and Heero, and I'm sure you don't have a problem with THAT, right, Heero?"

Heero raised an eyebrow. "Trowa and Quatre can't be together, if we're going to go with your plan. They'll be too much of a distraction to each other."

My face fell. "Demo..."

"Don't argue, Duo. I will be with Quatre, and you will be with Trowa."

"Fine," I said irritably. //Just like him to avoid having to be around me. Damn it! And I thought I finally got to be with him, too!// I stuffed more Pocky in my mouth and silently pouted. //It just figures that I'm with Trowa. He can be even worse of a conversationalist than Heero, and that's sure as hell saying something!// I sighed through the Pocky in my mouth. //This is gonna be a garden of roses, I can just tell...//


Duo sighed, and took a deep breath. //Time for some more acting!// He bounced over to Trowa's locker, glomping him. "HIYA, TROWA!" he said happily, planting a kiss on Trowa's cheek. "How are you, sweetie?"

Raising an eyebrow but still smiling, Trowa hugged Duo back. "I'm fine, honey!" he said, beaming. "Have you checked your locker lately?"

"No, why?" Duo asked, peering into Trowa's locker.

"I think you got an invitation to Kale's party, too."

Duo inwardly groaned, but kept up his happy, hyper façade. "OOH! A party! A paaarty! I'll go look, Trowa-chan!" He bounced down the hall towards his locker.

//Now what the hell is the combination!? Oh yeah, it's 21-12-21!// Twisting the lock until it opened, I inwardly grinned at my lock's decidedly hentai combination. //I'm Pilot 2. He's Pilot 1. We were meant to be!//

Upon opening my locker, I spotted an envelope in the top compartment. "That must be the invitation to the party..." I muttered, taking it out and opening it.

You're invited to my party! It's tomorrow night at my dorm, Room 433, at 7PM.
I hope you can all make it there! ~Kale

//Oh goody,// I thought. //A party. And I have to go, too. Kale's one of the most popular guys in school. If I don't go, I'll be an outcast, and that raises suspicion and wrecks everything!//

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I whirled around. To be greeted by a pair of Prussian blue eyes.

"Hee- Hee- Heero!" I stammered, thoroughly startled. "What's up?"

"I see you got an invitation to the party. Quatre did too, and I assume Trowa did as well, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Continue."

"We all have to go. You know that. If we don't, it will-"

"Arouse suspicion, yeah, yeah, yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "I know all that crap, you don't have to remind me."

Heero glared. "You'd better show up." With that, he turned and walked down the hallway.

I watched him leave, thinking silently. That was when I realized that I wasn't watching HIM leave! I was watching his ASS leave. I blushed furiously and ran to my next class. //Baka,// I scolded myself mentally. //You're supposed to be with TROWA! You can't watch Heero's ass anymore, no matter how cute his ass may be, of course.//


by Laisia (animestarre@aol.com)
and Starsha (sailorsagitarius@aol.com)

"Truth or dare, Duo!" a girl said in a singsong voice, giggling.

"Hmm..." I said thoughtfully. "Aww, what the hell. Dare."

The girl giggled. "Kiss..." She couldn't finish her sentence, due to her sudden fit of laughter.

"Who? Who?" I asked, though I knew damn well that it would be Trowa. We WERE supposedly a couple, after all.

She composed herself, and tried again. "Your dare is to kiss... HEERO!"

My eyes shot open, and I sat up straight. "Kuh kuh kuh... ki-ki-kuh-ki-kiss-kiss-HEERO?!" Two twin streams of blood shot out of my nose, and I fell backwards, hitting my head on a chair. "Oww..." I muttered before I blacked out.

"I think she fainted..."

"You're mean, Jiya. Making her be unfaithful to Trowa!"

"It must have really shocked her..."

"Why don't you take back the dare, Jiya?"

"I'll do no such thing! I already dared her, and a dare is a dare!"

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. "What happened?" I asked stupidly, staring at the people crowded around me.

A girl spoke up. "Jiya dared you to kiss Heero, and you fainted!"

"Don't forget that she had a nosebleed!" Jiya piped up happily.

//Damn you!// I thought angrily. //Don't remind them! Only guys have nosebleeds, damn it! Shit! Shit! SHIT!//

"Wait..." a guy said, looking strangely at me. "I thought only guys can have nosebleeds!"


I looked up at them, grinning weakly. "I must have been a guy in a past life..." I joked, trying to make it SOUND like a joke.

Luckily, they all laughed and forgot about it. However, they didn't forget about my dare. Not that I really wanted them to.

"So, you've gotta kiss Heero now, Duo!" Jiya said. "Hope you don't mind too much, Trowa!"

Trowa just nodded, a smirk playing at a corner of his mouth.

Heero was sitting on the other side of the room. His facial expression was completely unreadable. But his eyes said something different. Anticipation? I couldn't quite tell, but there was something there.

Nervously, I stood up and crossed the room. My mind was tossing extremely hentai images of Heero at me, which REALLY wasn't helping in the slightest. It wasn't like I had never kissed or anything, but this was Heero! HEERO!

I kneeled down in front of him. Gulping and blushing, I leaned forward.

"Gomen..." I whispered in his ear before letting my lust for him take over, smothering his lips with my own.

Heero's eyes widened, and his body went rigid. //Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit!// I thought; yet still continuing the kiss. But he soon closed his eyes and relaxed, much to my relief.

Our lips molded together and I found myself floating in bliss. I had never thought it would be like this, his breath mingled with mine and his sweet supple mouth so close, I could plunder all its treasures if I wanted to. And damn, did I want to!

I hesitantly traced his lips with my tongue, a silent request for entry. To my surprise, he silently agreed, parting his lips.

My tongue dueled with his for entry, making me tingle all over with need and passion. I couldn't think; all reason had fled my mind, and I was drowning in my desire. His mouth was hot, wet, and everything I had ever dreamed it would be. It felt so right, as if I had been lost all my life, but now I was found, and I was safe. I knew that I would have to break away soon. No matter how much I felt like I was in heaven, I was still on Earth, and humans DO have to breathe. Unfortunately.

"Damn, get a bedroom!" someone yelled, following with a loud catcall.

"It's okay, Trowa, it's just a dare. I'm sure she still loves you..." someone said reassuringly. I ignored them both, too involved in my little slice of heaven to care what anyone else thought.

I broke away reluctantly, panting and flushed with passion. I realized that at some point, I had wrapped my arms around Heero's neck, and that he in turn had wrapped his arms around my waist. Almost shyly, I dropped my arms from Heero's neck, blushing at all the stares we were receiving.

I stood up. Or, at least, I tried to stand up. Heero's arms were still around my waist. My blush grew deeper at THAT. "Heero...?" I asked hesitantly, looking at him inquiringly.

//This must be a dream. I French Heero all the time in my dreams! Yes, this must be a dream. That's the only answer. The most realistic dream I've ever had, but a dream nonetheless. I'll just pinch myself and I'll wake up.//

I pinched myself. "ITAIIIIII!" I screeched. "That HURT!" But Heero was still there. It wasn't a dream. //Holy shit, it's not a dream...//

"Why'd ya pinch yourself, you big baka?" Jiya drawled, giggling. "Hoping you were dreaming so that Trowa won't chew ya out later?"

I blinked. "Hmm... yeah!" I batted my eyes at Trowa. "Please forgive me, Trowa darling. But I just HAAAD to take a walk on the wild side, doncha know?" I decided to take my act further, and ran a sloppily manicured hand through Heero's hair. "And he is certainly wild, Trowa! Why don't YOU ever kiss ME like that, hmm?" While he talked, he reveled in the opportunity to feel Heero's hair. //Damn, I've always wanted to do that, too!//

I was suddenly aware of the heat between my legs, and I thanked any gods that there were that I had worn a loose, flowing skirt to the party.

"Ooh, look at Heeeeeeero!" a girl squealed, pointing at Heero's pants. I looked down, and sure enough, there was a definite bulge in Heero's pants.

//Holy crap! I turn him on! I actually turn him on!// I stifled the urge to jump up and dance around, singing "I turn Heero on! I turn Heero on!" at the top of my lungs.

Jiya coughed. "If you guys are quite done, how about some music?" Without even waiting for an answer, she quite nearly bounced over to the CD player, pushing play.

//Uh-oh. What is that crazy baka turning on?// My question was answered as a voice filled the room.

<Ha-ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating!
But, there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about.>

//No. No. NO! She did NOT just turn on that song. She did NOT just turn on that song!//

<Sweat baby, sweat baby, sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts>

I once again thanked my loose, flowing skirt. //If only Heero would put HIS hands down MY pant... hey, Duo, stop that! Bad Duo! VERY bad Duo.. heh.//

<Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough, you're out of bounds
I want you smothered, want you covered, like my Waffle House hash browns>

"Hey everyone, dance! Don't just sit there like lumps!" Kale said cheerfully, standing up.

<Come quicker than FedEx, never reach an apex, like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time>

"The man sayeth to dance, so dance I shall!" I said, finally pulling away from Heero, who still seemed to be bewildered.

I reached down and grabbed Heero's hand, pulling him off the floor. "And you, my friend, are gonna dance too! Affairs absolutely MUST be two-sided, don't you agree, dahling?"

<Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel>

After pulling Heero out a bit, I turned to him and started to dance. I stood very close to him and swayed my hips to the music. Lifting my hands above my head, I started them on a slow seductive descent, letting my hands traverse my body. I saw Heero take a sharp breath in when my hands strayed to my chest and started to play with my nipples through the silk of my skimpy tank top.

<Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now>

Caught up in the light in Heero's eyes and the swell of the music, I reached back and released the tie on my hair. Running my hands through my now loose, flowing hair, I continued to dance seductively. Everyone in the room catcalled and whooped, cheering me on.

Heero stared at me, a glint in his eyes. Were they ... glazed? Who knows? What I do know is that he suddenly reached out and grabbed me around in the waist, pulling me up against his body.

<Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific, I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft

This time, he took the incentive, pressing his lips against mine. "Looks like you lost your girlfriend, Trowa," Jiya said, patting Trowa on the back sympathetically. "But Quatre lost her boyfriend, ya know. She's always open!"

Trowa's face suddenly lit up. "Hai!" he said. He crossed the room in three strides, scooped Quatre up, and left, slamming the door behind him.

Everyone sweatdropped, except for Heero and I; we were too busy to notice or care at the moment. "Nothin' like the direct approach!" Jiya said, staring at the closed door.

"Damn straight!" Heero said, breaking away from me. He followed Trowa's incentive, scooping me up and leaving the room, slamming the door in his turn.

Kale laughed. "Well, we're horny tonight, huh? I don't think anyone told them we spiked the punch, ne?"