6-29-2001

*peeks out* Is anybody paying attention? *sees nobody* Good. Since nobody's about I'll post something, don't want people to think I died ^_^;;; I'm not quite sure where this came from but it appeared so I thought I'd post it *senses an aimless ramble approaching* Here's the fic! *disappears back into the murk of lurkerdom*
Normal disclaimers apply: I own nothing, I have no money.

A New Life

 

//denotes Heero's thoughts//

 

When did I lose my heart to you? To this day I can still remember it exactly. It was when I saw your eyes lose that blank, dead stare that they always held. It was only for a moment and disappeared when you saw me but I chose to ignore it at the time.

You became like an obsession to me; you were so different to everyone I knew, so different to me. Even through my acts of obsession I did truly love you, I still do. I guess you weren't so different from me; neither of us knew how to express our love properly but at least I was able to recognise and accept mine.

It didn't help with you being my first love even if it was unrequited. They say that you never forget your first love and that holds true even after all these years; I wish that you would've visited, just to see how I was feeling - nothing more.

When I first saw whom you really loved I denied it, thought it was impossible but seeing you together now it just seems right. I'm sorry for the way I acted but not the way I felt - I feel. It would be foolish of me to try and change the way things are and I wish you both the best of luck in everything together.

As I write this one last saying springs to mind: 'If you love something, let it go'. You always seemed to hold some sort of obligation towards me, which I used to believe, was your way of showing your love. If there were any such thing, I free you from it. No longer do I believe you to be mine; I want you to feel no obligation towards but instead to be free. I only hope to gain your forgiveness.

Yours Forever

Relena Peacecraft.

================================

Heero looked up from the note into the mirror. He looked tired, dark circles beginning to appear under his eyes. In the mirror he saw the reflection of the bag being carried out.

//After everything we fought for, after the sacrifices we made to create this peace. I don't understand how you could do this//

He sighed "Relena…"

"Sir?"

He turned to see a police officer standing by his shoulder, he nodded to show he'd heard.

"Are you umm…" the officer glanced at a notebook "'Heero Yuy?'"

Another nod.

"This was left with note and we'd like to ask you some questions about Miss Relena." He handed Heero a small obviously well loved bear. Heero felt tears beginning to prick at his eyes and turned back to the note he'd left lying on the table beside the envelope bearing his name that had been found clutched in Relena's hand. Picking it up he folded it and ripped it carefully in half.

"I forgive you, goodbye Relena."

He walked back through the room, avoiding the various officers, paramedics and police tape. Stepping past his final obstacle, Heero collapsed into a seat next to his koi. [1]

"I didn't..I never thought..."

"Hush nobody thought she would you couldn't have either, you're not the one to blame. Sleep now."

Resting his head against his lover's shoulder, Heero closed his eyes succumbing to sleep with a sense of something akin to dread. He'd had nightmares of all those he'd killed before and expected this to be no different, he still felt responsible despite the kind words saying otherwise. But, rather than images of destroyed innocence he felt surprisingly light, like he could sense that Relena was now happy. A whisper echoed through his mind, so faint he almost missed it.

'I don't blame you so don't blame yourself. It's better this way. Goodbye Heero.'

Having been given peace Heero's body relaxed into the chair a slight smile gracing his face, a smile that hadn't been seen since this nightmare had begun. Relena had freed him, more than she'd ever know. She'd freed him from his nightmares and given him a new life.

 

Fin.

 

[1] I have been reading the stuff about Japanese words, koibito meaning 'her boyfriend'. See? I'm not dead but I am lazy and I like using this, so sue me...er, wait! Don't do that I have no money *_*;;;

Kitai.