Kel: I swear, this is something to get me on the roll again! ^.^; I've been too lazy recently, and I find some perverse pleasure in trying to make up the most rediculous situations and putting the pilots in them...

Sephy: *drily* Ms. I-Think-Writers'-Block-Is-A-Myth is trying to prove she doesn't have it?

Duo: Pretty stupid way of trying to proove the obvious, ne?

Kel: .....

 

DISCLAIMER: Don't own.
WARNINGS: My humor.
STATUS: Ficlet.
RATING: .... PG?
The REASON: I wanna.
The AUTHOR: Kel.
ADDITIONAL WARNING: Run while you can, you poor souls! RUN!

 

Five Reactions to Flirting _or_ What the HELL?!
Kel
ficlet

 

//Reaction 1: Ignore subject until he or she starts to get the clue that they aren't really wanted.//

"So I was thinking, Heero, perhaps you can come to the party Saturday?"

"...."

"I heard it was really going to be the bomb, and all the cool guys in school are going to be there. I was wondering, well... I don't have a date..."

"...."

"So... you think you can take me to the party??"

"... Hn. Omae o korosu."

"... Hey! Come back, Heero! What does that omae oh cohosit mean?!"

 

//Reaction 2: Flirt back. It works.//

"Teehee! You're so funny, Duo-kun!"

"Huh! Guess you can call me the joker of my small cliche! Not like _Heero_ can crack a smile without cracking his face first, ne?"

"Teehee! Speaking of Heero, I asked him if he would take me to a party on Saturday and he acted like I wasn't even there! He muttered some Japanese phrase and walked off!"

"Omae o korosu?"

"Yeah, that's it! Anyway, I really don't want to go to this party alone, so I was wondering if you could take me...?"

"Saturday? Saa, no can do, Leigh-chan! I have an important errand to run for my guardian."

"Oh... Well, thanks anyway."

"Gomen nasai! Ah, catch ya later, okay? I need to talk to Heero about something!"

"Wait!... Argh. What does gomen nasie mean?!"

 

//Reaction 3: Listen. This doesn't mean you have to talk, but you CAN, in fact, act as if you're interested.//

"--Heero totally ignored me, and Duo said he was busy Saturday. Something about an errand for his guardian. Anyway, I was wondering if YOU could take me, Trowa. It's not like I'm asking for a life-long commitment here--"

"I have a koibito. He may be polite, but he's possessive. Sorry."

".... Damn. What the hell is a koibito?... Ah, thanks anyway, Trowa..."

 

//Reaction 4: Make polite conversation. No reason to be rude to the poor girl after being technically rejected three times...//

"I think I'm slowly learning Japanese."

"Oh? How's that, Leigh-san?"

"Well, I asked Heero to take me to the party on Saturday, you know, the one at the dorm at the end of the street? He said something like omae o korosu... I think that's how it's said... Are you okay, Quatre? You're choking!"

"*cough, cough* Yeah, fine! I'm very sorry, Leigh-san, please continue."

"Okay... Then I asked Duo. At least Duo acted like I was there for the time I was talking to him! But he told me he had an errand to run for his guardian... Funny, I never realized he was adopted. But anyway, he said something like goman nasie and ran off to talk to Heero."

"Aa. 'Gomen nasai' means 'I am very sorry' in Japanese."

"Really? That makes me feel tons better! Then I asked Trowa--hey, are you okay? Your eye is twitching..."

"... I'm fine."

"Oh. Anyway, I told him it's not like I wanted a commitment or anything, I just wanted a date so I won't go and leave alone."

"Smart girl..."

"Pardon?"

"Nothing important, Leigh-san."

"Oh. Anyway, he said he had a jealous koibito or something and walked off. So I was hoping you could take me?..."

"I'm sorry, Leigh-san. You see, Duo and I share the same type of guardians, ne? I need to help Duo with his errand."

"Well, damn..."

"Again I'd like to say that I'm truly sorry. Oops, here comes my koibito! Ja ne, Leigh-san!"

"'Ja ne'? Koibito? Oh, GOD, I need to get a Japanese dictionary..."

 

//Reaction 5: EXTREME.//

"*grunt* Yuy."

"Hn?"

"You've made a maping of the area, right? I need a hiding place."

"... Are you moving your Gundam?"

"No. I need a place to hide... an accident."

"Oi~, Wu-man, what's with the body bag downstairs? You didn't bring work home again, did you? *laughs* Shame, shame!"

"... *flatly* An accident. Who, exactly, did you have an accident with?"

"...."

 

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........ Okay, I admit it. There's more....

 

*LATER*

 

"I'm so glad you brought me to the party, Wufei! I was afraid I'd have stay home tonight."

"Hn."

"I'll be back in a sec, okay? I'm going to go get you a drink! Beer or something less tame?"

"Soda would be nice..."

"Be right back!"

"..."

"oi, Wu-man!"

"*flatly* Maxwell. What are you doing here?"

"*smirks* Just came to check up on you before the mission. Looks like you're having fun, ne?"

"Hmph."

"You realize, of course, that taking the poor girl on a date won't make you feel any better when she realizes her Ozzie boyfriend is dead, right?"

"*GRUNT* Quiet, Maxwell."

* * * * * * * * * *

Kel: And in case you didn't realize, the body in the body bag was indeed, Leigh's boyfriend. *cackles* I'm so evil.

Sephy: *blink* I thought you were going to kill the girl. Where'd the boyfriend come from?

Kel: I wanted a moral to this ficlet.

Muses: *the Look*

Kel: *withers* It was a minutes addition type thing. Anyway the moral is... "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again until finally you get your head blown off." The end. Oh, and C&C welcome! ^___^

Duo and Sephy: *holding up signs saying "Do NOT encourage the psycho!"*