Kel: Hm. This just validates my problem.

Duo: Besides the fact you're easily amused?

Sephy: Besides the fact that your family thinks you're nuts again?

Duo: Besides the fact–-

Kel: Y'know, I kinda don't want to hear that today. *gives the two boys a glare*

Duo: Then what?

Kel: Easy. *placidly* I'm bored easily. And studying for finals while watching a bit of TV doesn't do me any good. Next time I'll have to lock myself in my room while studying and listening to music instead.

Sephy: *snort* And repeat your essay of `Why I Want It That Way'? I think not. Besides, Duo promised to do drastic things if he had to listen to the Backdoor Buddies for more than three hours a day...

Duo: *flinches*

Kel: *cackles* I love Fred Durst, I adore KoRn, but it'll always be Backstreet, baby! Why? *sing-song* Cause I want it th~a~t way!

Duo: *screams and runs away*

DISCLAIMER: As always, Gundam Wing nor Miller Lite belong to me. Hell, I don't even _drink_ beer. Just wine. (Confused? You ain't seen nothing yet...)
PAIRINGS: Whadya think?! 1+2, of course! ^.^
WARNINGS: Umm, commercial spoof. It's unsafe to study and listen to anything other than your own mutterings...
AN: Please don't think I've given up on The Professional and the Amateur. I'm just venting through this. I'll soon have the next chapter up, I promise.




"Oh. My. GOD. Vick, would ya look at that?"

Vicki Valentine gave her stunning blonde of a friend a cool look, chafed and tired after the long day. She had come home from work after working a twelve hour shift, only to find their apartment in a mess (to which her friend had promised to clean before Vicki came home), there was no food on the pantry or fridge, and there was certainly no chance of getting to sleep at all that day. Reason? Her friend's pet mice–God only knew how a blonde could love those disgusting creatures so much!–had somehow escaped from their cell and into her room. Result? Vicki refused to be anywhere in the house until the rodents were found and chained into their cage. It was only fair.

The blonde, with piercing green eyes and soft, fair complection, grabbed Vicki's chin and forced her eyes in the direction she, too, was looking. Without even focusing, Vicki jerked back and sighed in irritation.

It was going to be a long night.

"What, Leigh?" She brushed her brunette hair out of her slate grey eyes, purple clad fingernails matching her purple dress of the evening. The total opposite of her fair companion, her skin was smooth and tan.

"Look! Look!" The blonde took no notice of her friend's irritation, and Vicki almost didn't even bother to look at what her friend was staring at. Yet the faint desire and lust echoed through those green shards, and Vicki had to make a passing glance at what–or should she say `who'?–had her usually celibate friend was drooling over.

She was lost in a pair of violet orbs for a second before she tore her gaze from those dazzling colors to focus on his soft-looking lips. Heart-shaped face, button nose, lean but strong... His hair was a stunning mixture of blonde, brown, a bit of red and golden highlights, and stretched down to his waist. A lazy, content smile graced his lips slightly as he stared off into some unknown space, a faint flush caressing his high cheeks as his breathing, which was fast and unsteady, slowed to a comforted pace.

Vicki took the time to ogle. It was only right; a specimen of the human race as fine as him deserved to be ogled over for even the briefest moment. But she knew that any chance of a relationship was far off in a distant universe somewhere. Reason? Well, quite frankly, she was around six years his senior, she could tell. Result? Robbing the cradle was something she tried not to consider.

"Bartender!" her blonde friend remained oblivious, and Vicki had to shoot her a glare. The blonde held no protest of robbing the cradle. In fact, Vicki wouldn't have been surprised if Leigh needed to be told just how hold someone had to be to not be considered jail bait to an older person. Fifteen-year-old boys were certainly too young for legal women.

"Bartender?" Leigh smiled dazzlingly at the middle aged bench presser, pointing over at the braided beauty on the other side of the counter. "Get him a Miller Lite, would you? It's on me." She fluttered her eyelashes shamelessly at the muscle-bound man, seeing as he was about to refuse due to the fact that the boy was underage. His mouth tipped upward for a second before he grabbed the cold bottle and went to deliver it.

"You have a brother his age," Vicki reminded Leigh flatly, watching the braided one's reaction to being handed a beer. His violet eyes disappeared for an instant, turned downward to stare at the bottle, before gazing back up questioningly. The bartender tilted his head toward Leigh, and he looked.

She smiled in a seducing manner, wagging her fingers. He grinned, a full use of his mouth, mouthing a thanks and tilting the bottle toward Leigh in a `cheers!' manner.

"Who cares," Leigh sighed softly, melting at the bar as her eyes followed the braided one to his seat. "He's worth it."

"Yeah, whate–"

"Ohmigod, there's two of them!" Leigh gasped, almost blatantly pointing toward the table where the braided one had seated. Vicki immediately looked, despite her warnings to herself, and stopped breathing for just a moment to look this one over. Oh, he was a handsome one alright.

Almost messily combed moss green hair–Vicki believed that was the right term for such a shiny, beautiful hue of brown–and calculating Prussian blue eyes swept the dancers behind him before turning his gaze onto his braided partner. His muscular form was much more defined than his companion, that was for sure, with his tight green muscle shirt hiding nothing, and his painted-on jeans a perfect fit for him. His face was a mask of seriousness and stoniness, but his handsome features were what gave his seriousness a hot, sexy look. He slid in besides his friend, staring at the Miller Lite before turning narrowed eyes on his companion. Questioning with his eyes, Vicki realized.

"The guy with the braid is cuter," Leigh whispered, but Vicki had to disagree. Despite her own will and determination never to jump into bed with jail bait... Well, Vicki would throw her reason and result method out the window if it earned her one night in bed with that fifteen-year-old hottie.

The braided boy grinned and said something, pointing in the direction of the bar. Vicki could tell Leigh was holding in her squeal of delight at being mentioned and noted. The brunette, however, turned her gaze away as he looked over, and covered his view of her cheeks with her hand, blushing lightly and muttering something vague even to her.

As if feeling his gaze lift from her, Vicki slowly turned her eyes toward the blue-eyed Asian angel in tight clothing. She watched his every move, from his large, hesitating hand, which would move and stop from time to time. Finally, with a loving touch, the two contacted and held hands over the bottle, the braided one smiling wildly with passion in his violet orbs as the other moss green hair fellow smiled hesitantly, almost awkwardly.

Leigh blinked, confused for but a second before she gapped and turned her eyes away. Vicki almost felt relieved, her heart hammering against her chest as she placed both elbows on the table and gazed at her friend in amusement. //You sure know how to pick them,// she didn't say. Instead, she smiled sweetly, feeling her revenge for the mice, the dirty apartment, and no food had been carried out by the hands of two hormone crazed teenagers.

"Well. At least they're not married."


Across the room

"Wow, the brunette actually looked a bit alleviated," Duo Maxwell said casually as his koi caressed his thigh gently. "I wonder why? A while ago she looked ready enough to gobble you up."

"She's in her twenties," Heero Yuy said calmly, "and I'm a teenager. Despite her friend, who obviously had hopes for a fling with jail bait, she's glad she found a reason other than the jail bait theory to get her mind out of the gutter."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Fixing his koi with an amused grin, he lifted the beer in their hands and kissed Heero's knuckles lightly before taking a sip. "You read people so well, koibito."


There was a long pause for a second, and Duo's eyes went wide.

"And what the hell is jail bait?!"



Kel: Heheh... Hopefully I'll get C&C for this...

Sephy: *amused* `And what the hell is jail bait?!'? Please, Kel, he's part blonde, not stupid.

Duo: *glares* Am not.

Sepy: Are too.

Duo: Am NOT.

Sephy: Are TOO.

Duo: Amnot!

Sephy: So are you saying that you're not blonde, but stupid instead?

Duo: ... *mumbles* Touche...

Sephy: *triumphant smile* Hah!

Kel: *sighs* And the endless cycle continues...