7-4-2001

Hello? Can anybody hear me? Eh..Fixation with Pink Floyd. Anyways, Does anyone recall this fic? It's been awhile, But I promise I'll try to finish it off as quickly as possible.
The Huntress Jim Morrison
Disclaimers: I don't own GW, Nor Am I making money.
Warnings: Angst, Lemon.
Pairings: 1+2, 4x? (Read it and find out.)
<> Pilar's thoughts, () Quatre's thoughts ++ Scene change.

Part 4

-

Pilar rubbed her eyes and looked at Trowa and Quatre blearily as they entered the living room. She was exhausted. All she wanted to do was to take a shower and sleep until Relena came after her and the Scion. Those thoughts were driven out of her head when the memories came back to assault her. She had no control over them when she was so drained. Nor did she have control over the overwhelming despair and hopelessness that dogged her ever since the first Scion had died at Relena's hands.

She shook her head and ran her hands through her hair in an effort to stop them from shaking. She had miscalculated badly when she had given Heero blood. She didn't have enough left to make her demons sleep. The boys were looking at her curiously. She had to hide the breakdown that she was going to experience shortly.

"You guys got a shower?' She asked before giving a yawn.

<I can hide there until it passes. Hell, maybe I can drown myself before I freak out.>

"Yes. I'll show you where it is." Quatre helpfully offered. He then looked at Trowa.

"I'm going to sleep." Trowa said, his green eyes nothing more than thin lines on his face due to the exhaustion that was now catching up with him.

"Come on." Quatre said to Pilar, who looked like she was falling asleep on her feet. She nodded and sleepily began to follow Quatre, yelping whenever she accidentally stumbled into a wall on her way to the bathroom. Quatre turned around and smiled in sympathy.

"Are you all right?" He asked her. Pilar nodded tiredly as she rubbed her shoulder.

"I'll be fine. Look, I don't need the shower right away." She took a deep breath and looked at Quatre with wide and scared eyes that took him aback. "I actually need to talk to you. That's if you will listen to me." She said, her voice needy and pleading as she looked at him with those black, bottomless eyes.

"Why? What's the matter with you?" He asked her, his voice full of concern for her.

"Too many things." She answered as she leaned against the wall and closing her eyes.

"Tell me, Pilar. Don't give me those answers that can be anything and everything!" Quatre cried as he came up to her, placing his hands on her shoulders and squeezing them forcefully. She opened her eyes and looked at him steadily before nodding.

"Fine. I will. I owe you all that much. Just find a secure place for us to talk. I don't think that I can talk to anyone else but you right now. I don't want the others to hear what I have to say until it is time for them to know." She replied before batting his hands away.

"Come on. There's an empty room down the hall we can use and not be bothered."

Quatre said as he took his hands off her shoulders and led her down the hallway once again. They entered the room in a silence that remained until Pilar and Quatre sat down onto the carpeted floor of the room. Pilar sighed and rubbed her head nervously.

"What do you want to know, Quatre?" She asked him, looking into his shadowed face. She could have had the light on, but she didn't think that she would be able to tell him all that he wanted to know. She wouldn't have been able to say anything in the light. Too many things had been unsaid for so many centuries. Too many memories were still too fresh to re-tell again. At least the darkness made everything softer for her. Bearable.

"What is wrong with you that you need to talk to me?" He asked her, squinting in the darkness towards the dark shape that was in front of him. Even though he had very good night vision, it wasn't as if he could see to the same degree as if he had been in the light or in broad daylight. Pilar shook her hair out.

"I'm scared of what will happen when we have to fight Relena." She said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Quatre asked her, unsure of what she was getting at.

"When she comes for us, there's a very good chance that you won't survive it." She sighed and huddled herself into a tight ball, resting her head upon her knees.

"I've seen it happen too many times to be sure of a victory." Quatre shook his head.

"I don't understand. You mean that you weren't strong enough or good enough to kill her?" He asked her, his voice incredulous. Pilar shook her head.

"I'm not the one that has to kill her. It's Duo that has to do it in the end. I'm just the protector and the guardian. I can't kill her. " Pilar whispered.

"Why in the hell not? You can do it! Why haven't you done so?" Quatre asked.

"The only way to kill Relena is by using my sword, La Colada. The only thing is that a human is the only one that can use it to its full effect. It works for me, but not the way that it should. When I use it on her, all it does is wound her. Nothing more. Believe me, I've tried to do more than that to her. It won't obey me if I try."

"Why wouldn't it obey you? I don't understand. It's an inanimate object." Quatre objected. Pilar shook her head.

"No, It isn't. It has a consciousness of its own. You see, although it has a date when it was supposedly forged, no one really knows when or where it actually came from."

She swallowed before she continued. She hadn't told this knowledge to anyone since it had been told to her the day she had received La Colada.

"You see, It was given to the first Templar Knight around the 6th Century by a vampire. He never disclosed why he was giving the weapon to the Templars, nor what exactly it was made of. All that he was told was that it would kill vampires only when wielded by a pure blood human. This human being couldn't have any supernatural taint to his blood, or else the sword would just turn against the one that owned it." She laughed bitterly.

"Why hasn't it turned against you then?" Quatre asked her in a quiet voice.

"I'm half human and was a member of the church. That gives me some influence over the sword, but it still harms me every time I use it." She slumped. "The Templars were formed as an elite army unit for the sole purpose of wiping out rogue vamps. They had the co-operation of the Gangerli, the high supernatural council until some rogue vampires and shape-shifters rebelled." She laughed humourlessly.

"That was all that the Crusades were about. Not about killing infidels or Muslims. But about wiping out the rogues before they destroyed the world. It was a bloodbath and that's where the sword gained its baptism. I heard that in those battles, no one could really tell what colour the blade of the sword actually was." Quatre made a soft sound.

"It was a bloody, horrible time. It was even worse when the Templars were accused of being sorcerers by the French king." She fell quiet. Relatives had died in those times.

"How did you become a Templar then?" Quatre asked. "Wasn't the order destroyed?"

"A few Templars hid in the Pyrenees and had an order there. I joined it after my cloister was ransacked and the nuns left homeless. After that, I was placed in Duo's ancestral home were I served as the Scion's tutor" She laughed a bit humourlessly.

"That castle was my last real home. The last place that I ever truly knew peace." She shook her head. It seemed that her life would always be spend forever wandering, forever alone and forever longing and lonely for a few precious things that would be denied to her for all time. Maybe in her death she would be able to be happy. With him.

"For two years, I had the hope of living a normal life away from my family and a church that I had lost faith in. Only for two years did I know what it was to be free."

She wasn't lying per say. But she really couldn't bring herself to directly mention him yet. He had been dead for five hundred years. But the pain and despair was so great still that she couldn't even speak of him. He had meant so much to her. He had taught her so many things. But he had died too soon, even for a mortal. And the wound had never healed for her. It still bled. Especially whenever she would meet another of his line.

That had nearly finished her off so many times after it had happened. But she had to ignore it and protect her charge. Her emotions didn't matter. Only the Scion's life did.

"She destroyed me in her quest to rule the world. Destroyed my chance for a real life and for happiness with loved ones." She sighed bitterly.

<Indirectly destroyed my humanity and my capacity to ever have hope again.>

"I'm so tired of this non-existence, Quatre. In all the years that I have been alive, I've never truly lived. I've run to practically all the known areas of this universe with a child in tow, but have never had a real home. I could never make friends with anyone because I didn't want to watch them die on me by either old age or by Relena's hand."

She pressed her forehead to her knees and let out a bitter sob. That was the only thing she would allow herself. In a thousand years, she had mourned so often and for so long that she couldn't cry anymore. Her tears had all dried up. All that remained were the deep wounds that never fully healed despite the time that had passed.

"I'm also tired of mourning all of those young men and boys whose lives she has taken. Even though I try to save them from her, they always die. Always. And it is so hard not to let myself have any feelings for them. Or to forget them after they have turned into dirt and ashes." Her shoulders shook with grief as she recalled the one that she had never, no matter how hard she had tried, been able to banish from her aching heart.

She normally would have shoved anyone away that would have tried to touch her after exposing the raw wounds of her soul that had been shut away for so many years. But Quatre's soft and tentative touches were so unintrusive and reassuring that she didn't object. He had thrown an arm around her shoulders and had brought her close to him wrapping her in the soft and delicious warmth of his body. She didn't shift from her position. She let him touch her. Just like he had in those dark days of the early eighteenth century. In the garden of London. She closed her eyes and let out a shuddering breath.

She could still smell the heady perfume of the flowers as she let his lips caress her neck as she waited and watched the then Scion court the girl that would become his wife. She still recalled the light blonde hair and the way that it shone in the dim torch light. So like spun gold. So warm and silky to the touch. Almost baby-fine, but thick. It was like nothing she had ever seen in her four hundred years.

His eyes too, were a constant wonder to her as well. A deep Prussian blue she hadn't seen outside of paint pigment. She opened her eyes. The memories were too strong tonight. She could very well believe that if she reached out, she would touch him.

Quatre's heart was racing erratically at the emotions that Pilar was emanating. He only wanted to comfort her. His space heart told her that she was in pain. A deep pain born out of fear and loneliness that she couldn't rein in anymore.

(How many years has she held all of this inside? How many years has she endured this?)

He asked as he pulled her chilled body closer to his. She was shaking slightly, and he wondered whether she was weeping. She raised her head and looked at him. Her eyes weren't shimmering. They were dull and black. But her face was ravaged with pain.

Everything that she had lived through was clearly etched on her face as he looked at her and it made him sad. Very sad. He reached up and touched her face with his other hand, as if to smooth out the pain by his caring touch. To let her know that he would share the burden that she carried. He never expected to feel the sharp agony and pleasure of love.

He must have cried out when he felt the emotion course through him like fire and the edge of a razorblade slicing his veins and heart open. She looked at him in shock and joy. He couldn't understand it. Her face had lost the mask of pain and was now the face of the someone that he had been searching for and hadn't even realized it till he touched her in such intimate circumstances. He swallowed the thickness in his throat.(Why am I feeling this way towards her? Shouldn't I be feeling this way toward Trowa?)

He asked himself as he watched his hand cup her jaw and his thumb brush her bottom lip. She didn't say anything. But her breathing quickened and her skin suddenly felt warm and alive under his touch. Her skin was emanating a strong scent of sandalwood and it made his pulse quicken. He was nearly drowning in the sensuality of it.

(I remember that scent from somewhere. I loved that scent when I last sensed it.)

He closed his eyes as he tried to recall the origin of the scent. But nothing came to mind. No memories. No clear images of a location or a time. Only flashes of dark hair and Pilar's eyes as they shone from the light of the moon in a garden.

He leaned forward until his lips were nearly touching hers. Pilar didn't do anything to discourage the physical contact. In fact, she was longing for it. She hadn't been kissed in the rush of love and desire in so long. The last time had been with...Simon in the garden.

<There. I have actually said his name. Without feeling the grief. What power does the boy possess to have been able to make my grief fade for his kin?>Quatre felt like he had suddenly gotten utterly intoxicated when his lips me Pilar's. He had never imagined that a kiss could feel so overwhelming. Not even when the girls in his school had snuck kisses did it feel that way. Not even his fantasies of kissing Trowa came close to capturing the torrent that was coursing through his body.

His hand moved from her face down to her breast. The fabric of her shirt was worn and smooth under his fingers and he could feel the pulsing beat of her heart underneath them, surprised at how it matched the rhythm and intensity of his own. His mouth tasted her hungrily and his hands ached to feel the flesh covered by the shirt. His fingers moved out of their own accord as they worked the buttons that held him from his goal.

Pilar pulled away from his mouth and buried her hands into the thick, silken masses of Quatre's blonde hair and stared at him straight in the eyes with a deep gaze.

"Do you love me, Quatre? Or are you doing this out of pity?" She asked him, her voice quiet and serious as she spoke those words. Quatre swallowed before he replied.

"I love you, Pilar. I don't know why, But I do. I want to make love to you. I also want to show you what love is." He leaned over and claimed her mouth once again, this time kissing her so forcefully and intensely that it made her collapse against him.

Quatre caught her and immediately moved from her lips down to the soft, vulnerable flesh of her neck. Pilar moaned loudly as his mouth sucked and bit her neck. Her hands threaded themselves in his hair and she took advantage of that to press his head against her neck, increasing the pressure and the pain of his bites. He moved lower with a deliberate slowness, coating her skin with a mixture of saliva and blood before he moved down to her chest. He had unbuttoned her shirt without Pilar noticing, and was now pulling it down her shoulders to reveal her large breasts.

Pilar's eyes popped open when she felt his mouth tighten around her left nipple as he began to suck her breast. Her grip on his head tightened as her rolled his tongue around her nipple in circles as he kept on sucking harder on the flesh. Short, small moans were coming from Pilar's lips as he moved to suck on the other nipple. She closed her eyes and gasped when she felt his hand moving lower to the waistband of her jeans.

"Shh. Trust me." Quatre whispered as he pulled the jeans open after a brief struggle. She stayed still as she felt his hand remove the last barrier and touch her with gently.

Her face heated up as his fingers explored her with a tentative touch that was making her forget everything that was going on around her. His breathing was loud and fast in her ear as his hands moved all over her body as he pressed her down onto the floor. He was ready to take her right then and there. It was all that he could do to keep himself from ripping his own clothes off and possessing her as quickly as he could. But he didn't want to either scare her or hurt her. Or make her think that love also had to be painful and violent just like everything else in life.

He kissed her again as he then began to fumble with his own clothes. She returned his kisses as she helped him get rid of his clothes. He shivered a bit when he found himself naked. His shivering was stopped when Pilar pulled him into her arms and kissed him hungrily, making him forget the momentary chill.

His hand moved down between her legs and he was rewarded by a small mewl when he touched her. She was warm and wet, she seemed to be ready, Quatre thought as he stroked her, making her let out another series of mewls that confirmed his suspicions, something that he gave every thanks for.

"It'll hurt a bit." Quatre told her as he positioned himself at her entrance and let his control slip away as he thrust forward and found himself surrounded by warmth and tightness that made his head spin with the sensory overload he was experiencing.

He heard Pilar give a soft cry that made him pause and look at her questioningly.

"I'm fine." She reassured him with a weak smile. He kissed her before his instinct took over and he continued to thrust and make love to her as gently as he could in his overwhelmed state. His body moved in a rhythm that was somewhat clumsy, but it didn't matter to either of them. The emotions and new sensations that it created within them made them forget all but the world that they had created for each other. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else was important except what was happening between them.

++

Duo woke up with a pounding head and the dread feeling that something was wrong. He opened his eyes and quickly shut them. He really didn't want to get up and face the day. In fact, he'd be utterly happy if the day passed him by. But the day seemed to have different ideas. For one thing, he was utterly cold. For another thing, he was lying on a really hard surface with a heavy weight on his arm, which was becoming numb from the weight and the lack of movement.

Opening his eye a crack, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw the tousled brown head of a certain Mr. Heero "Suicidal Maniac" Yuy lying on his arm.

"Gack!" he exclaimed intelligently as last night's events came crashing into his consciousness. The exclamation made Heero wake up and look at him with a puzzled look on his face as he found himself looking straight into a pair of large violet eyes. His mouth opened and he looked like he was about to ask for an explanation when they both heard her speak.

"Awww. How nice. It's almost too cute to destroy both of you." A theatrical sigh was heard in the pause. "But, you know what they say, desperate times call for desperate measures." Both boys froze as they heard footsteps approach them and pause only two feet from their heads. They looked up and found themselves face to face with a feral looking Relena that positively stank of malevolence and bloodlust.

Without warning, a knife quickly descended towards Duo, aimed directly at his throat. Duo blanched, but remained frozen in place, the element of surprise having overcome his reflexes. He closed his eyes and waited for the fatal blow to come, but it never came.

Instead, He heard someone yell out and a clang as a heavy object was thrown across the room and far away from his throat. He opened his eyes and saw Heero and Relena struggling as either one tried to get loose and go for the knife, which was lying several feet away from all of them. He gulped as he got to his feet and ran out of the kitchen.

He had just passed the bathroom and was heading over to Trowa's room when he ran full-tilt into someone who had just stepped out into the hallway.

"Ow!" He exclaimed as he rubbed his nose. The other person swore softly.

"She's here isn't she?"