Okay, The reason why I wrote this little thing was that I just finished
my last final, Relig 274-Withcraft and the occult- and the teacher gave
us a weird question that had these ACTUAL fucked up answers. After I stopped
laughing..This came to mind.
Duo MAxwell takes the relig 274 final
Disclaimers: I don't own the boys.. I borrow them for entertainment only. Yadda yaddah YAddah. Don't sue cause I don't own JAck squat.
Warnings: None Pairings: None. AU (Edmn. AB, CAN)
"Duo! What the hell are you doing?" Duo looked up from the Gambit comic he had been reading and smiled.
"Gee, Quatre, I never thought you'd have to ask such an obvious question." He replied before turning back to his comic book. Quatre frowned as he noticed the textbooks that hadn't moved since they had started University the preceeding fall.
"Aren't you supposed to study for your final tomorrow, Duo?" Quatre reminded him as he snatched the comic book away from the American ex-pilot.
"NAh! It's Witchcraft and the occult! How hard can the test possibly be? I'm acing the class! Don't worry!" Duo cheerfully assured the arabian boy.
"It doesn't matter!" Quatre huffed as he threw Duo's books in his lap. "You sure as hell aren't going to ruin your grade average because of your cockiness! Now get to work!" Duo was about to complain, but the weird green gleam in Quatre's eyes made him change his mind.
<He's probably gonna go Zero episode on my ass If i say anything>
Duo thought as he sulkily blew the dust off of his text and cracked it open.
The next thing he knew, he was getting shaken very violently by someone.
"Duo! Dammit! Get up!" He craked an eye open to find Trowa and Quatre glaring at him.
"Huh? What?" He asked dazedly as Trowa got him into a coat, gave him a pencil and shoved him downstairs.
"You got a test in twenty minutes! Hurry Up! I'll take you there!" Quatre answered as he shoved a piece of toast in Duo's hand and pulled him out the door.
<Test? Holy mother.. I didn't study fuck all> Duo gulped as the
realization hit him <OH fuck>
"Allright! there are 90 questions, ten are short answer about a free topic, you have two hours, begin." Duo gulped as he looked down at his test sheet. <Oh yeah, I'm So fucken dead>
He sighed as he looked at the questions. <at least they're multiple guess> He thought as he got down to work. To his surprise, he recalled most of the information. Enough for him to pull a seven if all else failed. He was excited and happy to find the test fairly easy until he came to the short answer.
<Oh Shit! Now I'm really fucked!> He groaned inwardly as he saw the questions. <No choice but to bullshit it>
"So, Duo did you get your marks back?" Heero asked the next week when Duo stepped into the house with a funny look on his face. Trowa, Wu-fei and Quatre were sitting in the living room and were waiting to hear the results of Duo's academic achievements.
"Uh Yeah. Got eights and a seven." Duo replied dazedly as he made his way to the kitchen.
"What about your Relig 274?" Trowa inquired.
"I got a seven." He replied as he tossed a crumpled answer booklet on the coffe table. "I'm gonna got upstairs. I gotta sleep" He said before he left, still in a weird daze.
"What the hell's wrong with him?" Wu-fei asked. The others shrugged. Trowa saw the booklet on the table and picked it up. "Maybe this'll tell us." he said as he opened it. After reading the answers, Trowa's face began to get pink, then red.
"Trowa? Are you alright?" Quatre asked him. Trowa nodded, but his face kept changin colours as he now tried not to laugh outloud.
"Trowa! For fuck's sake! Laugh before you get an aneurism!" Quatre cried as the Latin boy let go of the booklet and started laughing hysterically.
"Here, let me see that!" Heero cried as he skimmed the answers. His mouth twitched.
"What? What is it? Come on Yuy!" Wu-fei cried out. Heero smiled as he held the booklet out and began to read the answers on it out loud.
"The questions don't matter. It's the answers that you'll get a kick out of. " He warned as he proceeded to read what Maxwell had written down.
"It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Guttenberg invented removable type and the bible. Another important discovery was the circulation of blood. Sir walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And sir Frnacis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper." Wu-fei snorted in helpeless laughter.
"Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah desert. The climate of the sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere." Quatre blinked.
"Queen Elizabeth was the virgin Queen. As a Queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah" Wu-fei gulped.
"The greatest writer of the renaissance was William shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroicouplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet." Trowa laughed so hard he fell of the couch.
"Please tell me he didn't really write it." Quatre asked, his face pink from laughter. Heero nodded.
"There's also a note from his professor here." He said as he began to read that as well.
"After reading these answers, Mr. Maxwell, I can only say that you need to take a refresher course in history and that you have prompted me to never again have a short-answer section on the exam. Seven."
"So much for higher education, huh?" Trowa quipped before he fell down laughing once again.
Notes: U of A marks on a scale of 0to 9, so Duo isn't a big a moron as you think. I actually gave him a grave average I wish I could have. The test answers are absolutely true. I'm not making it up. So is the teachers reaction to them. Okay that's my little school story. Enjoy.