Ummm. Here's another of my weirdo fics. I promise that more will be forthcoming.
I also swear that this is held as true in Western Canada were I'm from. Anyways, on with the fic... Warning: Yaoi, Lime, implied Lemon. Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 1x3 (implied) 2x4. Wu-fei makes cameos. I don't own Gundam Wing (I wish) they belong to Bandai, Sunrise and sotsu ent.
Notes: It's my first citrus. Don't laugh too hard. Comments welcome at Saxonyten@yahoo.com.
Description: It's based on a Canadian Urban Legend about boys and cinnamon. Heero and Duo make cinnamon buns and things get a little strange and hot.
Cinnamon Buns, Gundam-Style Jim Morrison.
Trowa, Quatre and Wu-fei stepped into the empty foyer of the house and simultaneously frowned at one another.
"It's too bloody quiet" Wu-fei noted worriedly. The other two nodded.
"Do you think they went out or something?" He asked. Trowa was about to reply when a delicious scent floated over to them.
"Cinnamon?" He asked as he delicately sniffed the air. Quatre's face lit up.
"I love cinnamon. I think it's coming from the kitchen." He said as he made a mad dash for the small kitchen of their safe house with the other two following him.
"What the hell happened here?" Quatre asked as he stopped at the doorway.
"My guess was World War Five, is it now?" Trowa commented dryly as they took in the huge mess that the little area had become.
Flour covered every surface and every single utensil was thrown haphazardly on every flat surface of the room. The floor looked like someone had danced a tango on it with cinnamon and nutmeg along with what looked like loads of icing sugar.
"Do you think Duo and Heero got into a fight?" Quatre asked worriedly. Things between the American and Japanese pilots had been strained recently. Plus the house seemed like it was empty. Which in itself was very odd. Duo sometimes took off. But Heero always stayed put.
"Oh really? How would they kill each other? By trashing the kitchen and dumping spices and flour allover? How could that kill anyone?" Wu-fei demanded of Quatre.
"I think I know the reason for all this." Trowa broke in before anything happened.
"What?" Quatre and Wu-fei asked together.
"There." Trowa pointed to a huge platter of freshly baked cinnamon buns slathered with loads and loads of rich, creamy icing sugar that were on the relatively untouched table.
Quatre's blue eyes lit up with pleasure as he zoomed in on the buns.
"Oh yum! I haven't had cinnamon buns in ages! I wonder if there's any milk to go along with them!" He exclaimed as he began to rifle the cupboards in search of a glass and plate.
Wu-fei and Trowa looked at each other, a similar look of pleasure on their normally expressionless faces. Without skipping a beat, they both ran into the kitchen (With Wu-fei nearly landing on his ass due to all the flour) and began grabbing plates and glasses of milk and the cinnamon buns that lay enticingly on the platter.
"Give over! Trowa!" Wu-fei yelled as he tried to get past the skinny Heavy-Arms pilot, who was busy trying to fill his plate with as many cinnamon buns as it could carry.
"You'll get some, Wu-fei! Sheesh! I never thought that you liked sweet stuff" Trowa replied, his French accent thickening slightly from all the saliva his mouth had suddenly produced.
"Guys! Guys! There's enough for all of us! Just be-Ack!" Quatre squawked as he was pushed aside by the other two pilots. Quatre frowned as he rubbed his side. Boy! What had gotten into them? Trowa had never elbowed him out of the way before.
"I'll find out later." He decided as he looked at his hoard of buns. Trowa could wait. Cinnamon buns couldn't. Especially not the kind with thick icing. They were his absolute favourites.
Quatre took a bite from one of the buns and began to chew with a look of intense orgasmic pleasure on his pale face. The other two had similar looks on their faces as they happily downed the milk and the sweet pastries in what was record time.
For an hour and a half, the kitchen was filled with the sounds of the pilots eating with intense joy and relish. So involved where they in their tasks that they didn't notice the two figures looming in the hallway eavesdropping on them as they enjoyed their handiwork.
"Shouldn't we stop them?" Duo tried to mumble to Heero, but all that came out was a series of garbles. Heero looked at his boyfriend and shook his head.
"Nah. Let's just sit and wait for the fireworks to begin." Heero whispered, his voice sounding scratchy and rough from all the screaming he had done earlier.
"My jaw still hurts, Heero" Duo whined, making the words come out clearer. Heero only smiled at him as he reached out to stroke the other boy's swollen face.
" I'm sorry. I didn't realize flour was that slippery. Nor did I see the stove. I'm sorry." Heero apologized. Make a mental not to self: Don't try to receive a blow job while standing on floured linoleum. Ever. He looked down at his crotch and winced. Duo wasn't the only one hurting.
- "Wow!" Trowa said after he had downed his last bun. "I've never had anything so exquisite before! I swear!" He exclaimed as he toyed with his empty glass. Quatre shot him a hurt look.
"Oh really, Trowa? That's not what you said last night!" The little blonde cried, making Wu-fei spit out the milk he was drinking and look at the other two pilots.
"Excuse ME?" Wu-fei yelled. "What the hell are you crazy loons babbling about?"
"Well, it's just that Trowa told me last night, after.." Quatre blushed and paused as he suddenly felt his entire face go red from both embarrassment and a sudden unexpected heat.
"Is it hot in here all of the sudden?" Trowa abruptly asked as he tugged at the neck of his shirt.
Wu-fei frowned. What the hell was going on with those two? He didn't feel- His eyes widened as he felt himself suddenly go hard at the mere passing breeze.
"Oh NO!" He cried as he suddenly recalled something he had read in his texts on L5 a very long, long time ago when he was still a scholar.
"Cinnamon is something men, and especially teenage boys should stay away from. The spice, long rumoured to be an aphrodisiac, but not really proven until the early 21st Century AD. has dire effects if ingested. If taken in small amounts, will make a man quite virile. If taken in excessive amounts, it shall cause him to give way to all of his sexual urges without any inhibitions."
Sure enough, Trowa and Quatre were looking at each other with what could only be described as feral animal lust. Hell, he could almost hear the Bloodhound Gang song, "The Touch", playing in the background. Wu-fei moaned as he noticed the lavicious way the blonde was licking his lips as he stared at Trowa, who looked like he wanted to devour his partner whole.
He had to get away. The cinnamon was having a bad enough effect on him. He didn't want to imagine the effects that it would have on the lovebirds. He couldn't think about it! He had to RUN!
Bolting out of his place, he ran out of the kitchen smack into Heero and Duo, knocking them flat on their asses and himself against the opposite wall.
"Jeez! What the hell?" He asked as he got back on his feet and looked at a slowly moving Heero and Duo, who was moaning in pain as Heero picked him up by his shirt.
"What was that about, Chang?" Heero asked him as he rubbed Duo's back in sympathy.
"Heero! Duo! You have to get out of here!" Wu-fei exclaimed frantically to the other pilots.
"Why? What is your problem Chang?" Heero asked, genuinely puzzled.
" Those two are going to explode in there and I don't want to be anywhere in the vicinity when it happens. And I don't recommend you being here either! Unless you want to end up like blow-up dolls, then be my guest." Wu-fei said in a desperate voice.
"Chang! You're not making sense! What the hell do you mean?" Duo muttered to the others.
"Cinnamon is an aphrodisiac in small amounts. In large amounts it turns men into sex maniacs. For teenagers, it turns us into raving sex-fiends. Can you imagine the effects it would have on those two?" Chang asked them. Heero's eyes widened as he looked at Duo, who stopped whining as he realized the implications of Chang's words. Duo's face went white, making the bruises on his face stand out severely and grotesquely.
"Heero! We have to get out of here!" Duo cried out, his eyes wide with fear. "I can't go through it again! It was bad enough getting screwed six ways from Sunday AND getting my head bashed against the stove THREE times!"
Chang looked at them in surprise. "So you guys went through it?"
Heero nodded in grim satisfaction as he looked at Duo, who rubbed his ass and looked at the kitchen, where the sounds of breaking glass could be plainly heard.
"Do you think we should leave now?" Duo asked worriedly. Heero was about to reply when a naked Trowa (With a VERY messed up unibang, I might add.) Came to the kitchen door-way and pointed a gun at them.
"Get. In. There. Now." The door was heard slamming shut as Wu-fei made fast his getaway. Heero and Duo looked at each other and gulped in fear. This was bad. Very Bad.
"Do you think we can talk about this, Trowa?" Duo tried weakly. Trowa only looked at him.
"NEIN!" He growled as he pointed the gun at Heero's crotch, making the stoic boy's eyes widen in both fear and shock. When did Trowa learn how to speak German?
"Okay! Okay! Just don't shoot!" Heero yelped as Duo turned tail and tried to run for the freaking border of France. Hopefully he could make it to Spain and ...
"NO! Lo mato si corres, pendejo!" Duo slid to a stop and slowly walked to the kitchen were not only Trowa stood with both of his guns out (Ha. Couldn't resist) and Quatre now pointed a semi at Heero, who was sweat-dropping like crazy as he tried to keep from pissing himself from the fear and the disbelief at the other pilots' behaviour.
First Trowa speaks in German and now Quatre pretty much tells Duo he will kill him in Spanish. And not very nice Spanish either.
Duo only glared at Heero as the sex-maniacs dragged them into the kitchen and began to quickly rip the clothes off of their sore bodies.
"You're so DEAD Heero Yuy. When I get my mmphhmphh!" Duo was abruptly silenced by Quatre suddenly gagging him with his own shirt while Trowa tied his arms behind his back.
After he had done the same to Heero, he and Quatre stood there and looked at Duo and Heero with lust that made their eyes glow an unholy glowing green.
"Gentlemen, Let the games begin!" Quatre announced, a slightly unhinged note in his voice that hadn't been there since the Zero Gundam episode.
Duo looked at Heero once again. Oh yeah. Yuy's ass was grass. If they survived these two.
Trowa walked up to Heero and Quatre took Duo to an uncluttered area in the kitchen.
Duo began to whine as he was made to lie down on his stomach. Oh God! What did I do to deserve getting it again? But Quatre only shushed him as he began to stroke Duo's tense body.
At first, Duo fought the delicious feeling of Quatre's hands on his body. He really did.
For about five seconds. He screamed in frustration as he felt his body melting under the Arabian boy's administrations, but he was helpless to do anything but curse his body for its weakness.
"Just relax. I only want to taste you." Quatre's soft voice purred in his ear as the hand swept up and down his back in slow, lazy motions, making Duo moan as the hand brushed his ass.
"Oh ye gods! What the hell is he doing to me?" Duo thought as he lay in a state of near bliss as Quatre gently stroked and caressed him until he felt himself growing hard and his legs parting out of their own accord in preparation for Quatre's entrance.
"This is interesting." Quatre murmured. He could swear that Duo was practically purring as he was caressed. He never thought that it would be so easy to get Duo to relax. He had always imagined that the American boy would be a harder nut to crack than this. But hey, he wasn't complaining.
Leaning down, Quatre then began to slowly lick a trail from Duo's tail bone to the boy's neck. As he pushed the braid away, he thought he could detect a faint trace of cinnamon on the boy's neck. He smiled wantonly as he continued to lick Duo, who shivered and buckled against Quatre. Muffled shrieks were coming from the long-haired boy, but Quatre didn't pay attention.
He continued to lick the boy until he felt his own cock respond to the boy's body.
"Change of plans." He whispered as he pulled the gag off and rolled Duo over on his back. He then scooted over so his member was a mere inch from Duo's mouth.
Duo worked his mouth gratefully. His gratefulness only lasted until he saw Quatre's cock.
"Quatre. No. Up the ass, fine. But no blow-Auck!" Duo was silenced again as Quatre shoved his erection into his already abused mouth. Duo had no choice but to deep-throat him, making the Arabian sigh with pleasure as he felt Duo's throat muscles work their magic.
"I'm gonna kill him. I'm gonna kill him." Duo repeated to himself as he gave Quatre head with all the expertise he had acquired from months of sleeping with Heero. He was doing his best, but he was still pissed at Heero, and his jaw was giving him ominous twinges of pain.
His thoughts were dispelled when he felt a slim, firm hand on his aching cock being to pump with slippery ease. He looked at Quatre for an explanation for the mind-blowing, smooth hand job he was getting from the little Sandrock pilot.
Quatre giggled as he held up a tub of margarine. Duo nearly laughed and choked at the same time, making Quatre's breath deepen at the tightness he was experiencing in Duo's throat.
He was going to lose it, the way that Duo worked that mouth of his. Better return the favour.
He decided as his hand gained speed from the margarine that he had slathered on his hand. Duo closed his eyes as he felt Quatre pumping away at his erection as if he was trying to start a snow blower in the dead of winter. He gasped as he did his best to make Quatre feel as good as he was feeling right now. Did he really not want this before? He asked himself as he felt his eyes roll in the back of his head and his breath come in short, aggressive pants that sounded animalistic in his ears. He could hear Quatre breathing heavily, but didn't care.
A groan was torn from him, while a scream that sounded like a howl was torn from Quatre as he suddenly found himself with a mouthful of cum and unable to close his jaw. Quatre fell onto the floor, his hand all covered with margarine and Duo's spunk. Not bad. He thought as he looked over at duo, who had swallowed the cum and was trying to move his jaw with his hands.
"Oh no! Duo! Is your jaw locked?" Quatre asked, quickly doffing the post-coital afterglow and going to Duo, who was getting frantic as every moment passed.
"Oh Man! Oh Man! This really hurts!" Duo thought as he was unable to communicate.
"What happened to him?" Trowa asked as he and Heero came up to Quatre and Duo. Quatre looked at Trowa and Heero, who were covered in sweat, cum and flour before he replied.
"I think his jaw's dislocated." Quatre said in a mortified voice. If only he hadn't been such a perv, poor Duo wouldn't have gotten hurt. Quatre shook his head. Wait a minute...
"Shit. The second time today too. I can't put it back in place. We're going to have to take him to the hospital." Heero said as he went to look at his boyfriend, who could only look at him.
"It also didn't help that he kept on banging his head against the stove earlier either." He said in a quiet voice before he grabbed Trowa's clothes and began dressing in them.
"What are you doing, Heero?" Quatre complained. He hated to see other people with Trowa's clothes. The thought made him frown.
"Look, you guys ripped our clothes, I have to get him to a hospital, it'll save time. Look, just help Duo dress in your clothes, okay?" Heero ordered as he handed Quatre the rest of the clothing.
- Fifteen minutes later found Quatre and Trowa sitting in the living room completely puzzled.
"Do you recall what the hell just happened there?" Trowa asked Quatre, who shook his head.
"I don't know. I mean, we like sex, but we've never really wanted to share with Heero and Duo before. I wonder why we decided to do it now?" Quatre asked as he snuggled up to Trowa.
"Beats me." Trowa replied as he snuggled up to Quatre even more.
"Hey, is it safe?" They heard Wu-fei call out as he hesitantly stepped into the living room.
"Safe for what, Wu-fei?" Trowa asked curiously, both of his eyes invisible under the rumpled unibang he hadn't bothered to fix yet. Wu-fei's mouth fell open as he saw this.
"Oh God! I pity those poor fools! Oh the injustice!" Wu-fei cried as he took in the hastily donned and horribly clashing (What? You thought he had no aesthetic sense?) Clothes they wore.
"What are you talking about?" Trowa demanded quietly. This was not like Wu-fei at all.
"Heero and that Braided Baka. I told them to run." He shook his head. "Where are they?"
"We're here." Heero's voice was heard as the tow boys entered the living room. Duo's mouth was shut and his smile looked a bit off-kilter.
"Well? How did it go?" Quatre asked Duo. But Duo shook his head and pointed to Heero.
"They popped his jaw back in place. But he can't talk for at least a week, or do anything that puts stress on his jaw, or it'll pop out again." Heero explained.
Wu-fei looked at Heero in pure shock, unsure if he was hearing correctly.
"Do you mean to tell, me, Yuy, that It'll be QUIET for once in this house?" He asked in an awed voice. Duo scowled at him and had to content himself with that. Heero nodded.
"YES!" Wu-fei shouted as he ran out of the house. "Yes! There is justice! Thank Nataku for the cinnamon! The cinnamon!" He yowled as he ran around in circles while Duo huffily stomped upstairs and slammed the door of his bedroom shut.
"What does he mean by that? Has he lost his mind?" Trowa inquired as he watched Wu-fei scream in exultation at having a silent week-end.
"Cinnamon is an aphrodisiac. Apparently, if teen-age boys eat it, they turn into raving sex-dogs. Unfortunately, Duo didn't know that when we decided to make cinnamon buns. We jumped each other, then you jumped us. Man, you guys are animals, but we enjoyed ourselves. We always have wondered what it would be like with you two in lust like that. I can honestly say it was great. Oh yeah, can I attest to that." Heero then turned to Trowa and blew him a kiss before going upstairs to comfort poor Duo.
Trowa and Quatre looked at each other and fainted dead away. That was the last time they we're ever eating cinnamon buns. Ever.
Cinnamon Buns, Gundam-Style. Jim Morrison.