Here we go...
Each of these parts aren't that long, I swear! If I knew people hated long fics with such a passion, I would've never started Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. (apologizes to 'all' people still reading) Not to mention I have it all planned out and it can't be that long!
And for all you people it feels like I'm ignoring, I'm sorry! My site will be up tomorrow, but I had to go down to the stupid DMV building and waited for FOUR HOURS in a line to be bitched at! Argh! Not to mention my relatives are here so I have *very* little internet time! (is stressing)
Sorry for the cross-post.
Title: What Dreams do Become Prologue
Author: Kitto Neko
Disclaimer: Don't own em, never will.
Pairings: None as of now
Crossover: Gundam Wing/Fushigi Yuugi (but Tasuki has a very small part)
Notes: AU, a little angsty, Duo's kinda depressed, Duo's POV, maybe minor OOCness... Totally can't happen.... Totally STRANGE... I swear, I had alittle too many Twixes.... (All for me... devil grin)
Feedback: Would be appreciated.
...::What Dreams Do Become::...
It started off as a small thing, really.
A few help mes.
Nothing I thought too strange.
Just a little cry for help from my soul let lose in dreams.
I didnt think much about it.
There wasnt much to think about.
I was having a hell of a time in life right then anyway.
Help me described my state of being.
But then things got more vivid.
I began to hear screams.
Screams of pain. Screams that hurt me even after I woke up.
And the images.... Images came to.
Painful images. Images that made me want to hide for days.
It was hard to look at the world, after some of my dreams.
People suddenly seemed so...mean.
The man in my dreams, he was beautiful.
It hurt to see him bound up like so.
I began to feel like I knew him. Sometimes he would come to me, and hed be okay. Not hurt to nothing. And hed just talk to me.
But it always ended in pain.
And these dreams became more frequent.
I cant tell anyone, really. Besides my best friend Tasuki.
I dont want to get sent to a shrink.
Im not really insane; I swear Im not.
Im just having nightmares.
Maybe thats it....
Im just having nightmares....
But somehow I feel....
Theres a little more too it then that....
Hey Tasuki, I spoke as I met him on the way to the school parking lot, tapping at a bottle in front of me with my feet.
Whats up? Tasuki asked, high-fiving me as we met.
Nothing much, just a shit load of homework.
What else is new?
Besides that homework? Nothin....
Always giving me shit. What did you expect?
About the same as what I expected when I asked what was up.
Thats what I thought.
We grew quiet as we walked to Tasuki beat up, tiny little Grand AM.
Any new movies come out? I finally spoke as some means of conversation.
Nah. Theyre never putting anything good out.
The Lord of the Rings is coming out, I observed. But thats right.... You never read the books....
Its not like you could leave the house anyway. I mean, even me dropping you off your parents have a heart attack over.
I wish theyd fuck off! I shrieked, kicking the bottle halfway across the parking lot until it slammed into a teachers car and set off the car alarm.
Whoops, Tasuki muttered for me.
I dont care, I growled. I was so angry.... I could feel my body shaking; I didnt need to look down at my arms to tell me. Im going to run away....
You know you cant do that Duo. This is the last semester of high school anyway.
But you dont understand. Theyd keep me longer just to convert me or whatever the hell!
Please calm down, Tasuki begged, but I couldnt. I was so angry....
How come my parents cant be like yours? Sane?
Tasuki shrugged. I dunno.... Maybe because your parents are Roman Catholic and your Atheist and my mom is and raised me as a Secular Humanist?
Thats probably it.... I sighed. If they didnt try to force so much on me, maybe I wouldnt be so upset.
Relief.... The teacher that owned the car I kicked the bottle into finally turned off the alarm.
When a child is forced to do something all their lives, they usually do the opposite, Tasuki murmured. He is much too into psychology. And just like I expected, he asked me about my dreams.
I swear, when we start talking about my dreams, I become a test subject.
I didnt have one last night.... Call it sick, but its almost a form of comfort to me. Well, at least when hes not being hurt.
Did he ever give himself a name? Tasuki asked as he unlocked the car door.
Never gave himself a name.
Thats odd.... If youre dreaming it and you want to dream it, then usually the mind will give names to such things....
Thats just it Tasuki, I told him as I buckled my seat belt. I dont think Im dreaming this stuff up. Im not that morbid.
Then how do you suppose these dreams are happening?
I have no idea....
Duo, buddy, sometimes I worry for you.
Youre not the only one, I muttered. I worry for me too.
What makes you think you arent dreaming this stuff up?
The fact that they dont feel like dreams. This person feels real to me. Like someone I would meet. He has a very in depth personality and you know how bad I am at making up personalities. The things he says I couldnt possibly know.... He tells me stuff about this world that I dont know and then research on the Internet. Everything he tells me is true.
What do you mean by that? Tasuki asked, confused.
Like did you know theres a Kellys Island up in Lake Erie thats actually part of Ohio? No? Neither did I. But I can tell you that now. I researched it up and yep! There it was. Kellys Island Ohio. Middle of Lake Erie. Just like he said.
How could I have known, Tasuki? Ive lived here in Georgia all my life, remember? I asked. He tells me remote cities in Indian countries and the exact parallel on which they lie. I dont know that kind of shit.
And why does he tell you these things? Tasuki asked, though I can tell he didnt really believe me.
He wants me to believe everything he says is true.
And what else does he say?
I paused. I dont want to talk about it.
Because it doesnt make sense yet and youd laugh.
Well, at least I was being honest.
Whatever, Duo, whatever....
Tasuki and I have been friends since freshman year. I think I started talking to him because he was openly homosexual and they fascinated me.
Mainly because I was questioning myself.
Its still a little embarrassing for me to admit, really, that Im gay....
However my parents know and wont let me out of the house for fear I have a boyfriend. Oh, and there excuse is theyre afraid Ill get AIDS! But thats not it; theyre scared of me. Im basically a piece of Satan to them and they dont want me leaving the house for fear of all the sins Ill commit and that people might (heaven forbid) find out.
And thats why I want to run away.
But theres not much that can be done about that as of now....
I thanked him for the ride before walking in to get lectured by my parents about coming home a few minutes late.
Traffic wasnt a good enough reason. Oh no. I mustve been making out with Tasuki.
Yeah right. Hes not my type.
I studied a little and fucked around on the computer for a few hours, sketched a little....
Sketched the man in my dreams.
He fascinated me, just as Tasuki did. He had something I knew nothing about, and I wanted to know it.
I dont care if Tasuki thinks Im making it up, I am not making these dreams up. Not at all.
Maybe a more correct term would be vision.
Dreams were mind created, these werent.
Other proof is that I rarely get sleep the nights when I have these visions. I wake up exhausted, like I didnt get any sleep at all. Often I fall asleep in class.
I just know.... There has to be some deeper secret....
As I lay down on my pillow, I could only hope that I would see him tonight....
I found myself in the very familiar marble room. It was square with four huge poles in each corner supporting the vaulted roof that if you squinted hard enough, you could almost see the sky out of, so far above.
Sometimes he would bring birds in, through that small whole.
There were always four burning torches between the polls or in the middle of the four walls, which ever you prefer to say. And occasionally, as now, there were many rich pillows to lounge on.
So I sat down and waited for him to come, as he always did, when I found myself here.
First few times, the dreams scared me, I thought they were about some fear of being trapped in a stone prison, but now its all become very natural. Then again, Ive been having such for the past four months. Thats a hell of a reoccurring dream, if thats all these are.
And then he materialized.
His dark brown hair wisped over his deep, beautiful blue eyes as he came, robed in nothing but simple white robes, and sat down across from me. I saw a new bruise across his cheek and winced for him.
Hello, Duo, he spoke in soft tones that always seemed to echo through the room and make me shiver upon first hearing them.
Hey. My voice was dull and didnt echo throughout the room and was almost an embarrassment.
I dont believe either of us had a very good day today so I thought the soft pillows might be appropriate, he spoke, sitting down next to me and stroking my long braid with his long, nimble fingers.
You can say that again, I muttered.
No, no, its a figure of speech, I returned with a smile, laying back on the soft pillows and sheets.
Is there something you want to ask? I can see the questions in your eyes.
Well, yes, actually, I admitted. Theres lots I want to ask, starting with your name.
Why do you need to know my name? He suddenly seemed very nervous and his fingers stopped moving through my hair.
I was just curious, thats all. Tasuki told me you should have a name.
I have a name.... But I cant tell you just yet.
Why not? This is all a dream, isnt it? It doesnt matter....
This is more than just a dream, Duo, he finally spoke, wearily, as if he didnt want to be telling me all of this. This is a portal between two dimensions.
There you go with that dimension shit again! I cried, throwing my arms up in the air in frustration. I dont know what youre talking about! Dimensions? Portal? I want you to explain whats going on!
He sighed and started back up stroking my hair.
I suppose its time you knew.... Youre patience is shot....
You bet it is.... I muttered. Im being to think I lack sanity....
He looked frightened with those words.
I cannot explain it all to you, but what I can, I will. He moved my head into his lap and began stroking at my bangs as he looked down into my eyes.
There are two alternate dimensions built when a child in your world is born. We are going to use you as an example. One of the dimensions is what you would have been if you were female, but that dimension quickly fades, and the other is used for all of your decisions. How a dimension fades, I cannot explain in terms you would understand. I can only understand because I am part of an alternate dimension and so I understand it all.
I nodded my head to let him know I comprehended everything he had just told me.
I am an alternate for a man in your world. Just as you had one and every other person on the planet has one. For every action you make, there is another action that you didnt make. For everything you said yes to, there is the possibility you could have said no, and so that possibility, that no possibility, in this case, is thrown into the alternate dimension and on to your alternate being.
So every time I agree to get into the car with Tasuki, every time I say no is bounced onto the person in your world and they say no?
Basically, he answered, seemingly relieved that I somewhat understood. However they are varying degrees of importance to a decision, and sometimes decision dont have that negative or positive a repercussion, and in turn have virtually no effect on the people of my world.
Gotcha, I spoke as he continued stroking my bangs.
I get beat because my person makes a good decision. He is put in some circumstances that have such negative consequences that I am physically pained. Sometimes, the consequences of a situation are so negative that the other person dies.
And what happens then?
Then there is no buffer in a situation. Then all choices are final and either extremely bad or extremely good. Sometimes it renders the person of your world unable to make clear decisions.
I took this all in, and it was surprisingly easy for me to grasp. I suppose that I have so little confidence in my world, which anything anyone from another world tells me I find to hold more truth than anything told to me about my world.
Whats my alternate person like?
I expected you to ask.... When I first say your alternate male, Duo, I knew we were destined to be bound together. This doesnt happen very often, mind you. Its rare that anyone in this world can fall in love and usual means that those two are destined to be together in the real world.
I wouldnt mind, I murmured, staring into the depths of his eyes.
He ignored this comment and continued.
Surprisingly, your alternate was very much like you, personality speaking. Usually the difference is obvious since you are formed from your decisions and we are formed from the opposing decisions. But, no matter how much I loved him, he ended up...dying....
I tried, and failed, to contain a gasp.
Thats right.... He is no more.... Actually, you are doing a amazing job for not having an alternate.
I was still caught on the dead part.
Part of the reason I establish this portal so much is because I miss him....
And suddenly, I was thrown out of his arms and into darkness.
I awoke the next morning to the most pleasant sound in the world.
The alarm clock on a Saturday morning.
I picked up and threw it into the wall before falling back into my pillows.
God help me.... I muttered into the warm down.
I dont know why the portal fell, it didnt usually, but after it did, I was sent into dream land where I had a few scary dreams, one containing Tasuki and the man from my visions making out on a bed....
I giggled stupidly to myself while I wondered if I could now call the man my destined lover.
Now, I remembered what he said about how the real versions are usually different from the alternate versions, so the real him would be different from the alternate him, but I didnt care. I still felt like I knew him well enough.
And my alternate was dead.
Worst of all, I knew when he died....
My uncle had been drinking a lot at a family reunion. I went up to the reunion with him, and though I could get another ride back, was expected to go down with him.
However my uncle is also a little insane. We all knew this, but we didnt care much. What could you do?
But he was stone dead drunk. And when he got drunk, he got depressed.
Depression like not even Ive ever felt.
Well, I didnt want to get in the car with him. No, I wasnt stupid. They always say dont drink and drive, and this was one time in which I believed them.
So I hid.
I didnt normally like to turn people down, this hurt me, but I was scared. I was scared as hell and I was fifteen years old. I sobbed softly even as I locked myself in the closet.
And hour later, once I was sure he left and I wouldnt have to go with him, I found my way back out and ended up going back with my grandparents.
Though at the time I thought I made a bad decision, my uncle never got home.
They found his body in the completely totaled car, smashed into a tree. And the freakiest part was the fact that he was found with several pocketknife piercings in his body.
I figured he killed himself and so, lost control of the car.
And that was what killed my alternate.
But I knew I couldnt dwell too much on the past.
My alternate was dead, oh well. Ive been living without it for two years and doing a pretty good job, I think.
I couldnt tell Tasuki any of this. He would laugh. Think I was dreaming it. Or recommend me to counseling. Him and as his psychology geek friends probably discussed me and laughed.
But no. I knew Tasuki wouldnt tell anyone my problems. I knew I could trust him. Hes stood up for me more than he shouldve and protected me when I didnt know how to protect myself.
He wouldnt betray me.
Well, the day went on.
I eventually got called out of bed, managed to sneak a phone call in with my friend Quatre, who also happened to be gay and was on my banned list, just like all my other friends.
Then we went out shopping and I bought some cool clothes. Banana Republic and the Gap. Im sorry Im a prep! What can I say! I have a lot of punk friends! Tasukis a punk! Its just where I grew up, everyone was a prep, and so when we moved, I found out that I was more like most punks, but I never felt right in those clothes. I always felt like a poser.
I went back home and did the normal stuff. Drew, messed around on the web. Managed to e-mail Tasuki and get a reply. Wed sneak off to the mall together by telling my parents I was going to church and hed come pick me up and drop me back off there as the destined time. I wasnt allowed to have the car nearly ever. They, of course, thought Id go visit my boyfriend.
Should I be so lucky to have a boyfriend.
I replied that he should ask Wufei to come.
Wufei was one of my prep friends whom Tasuki thought was hot. Wufei blushed whenever questioned about Tasuki and Wufei Chang does not blush.
I think they would make an adorable couple and have been trying to hook them up now for a while. Both are too embarrassed to believe the other is interest or to ask the other out.
Its so cute I sometimes feel sick.
Tasuki replied, as always, that there was no way he would ask Wufei to come since Wufei would say no and he was never turned down.
I just rolled my eyes and said whatever, glad at least that I would be with a friend in a public place just enjoying myself.
The rest of the day went uneventfully and I slipped once more into sleep.
Once more I found myself in the room, but screams echoed through it. Screams that hurt so bad I fell to my knees in pain.
No one should have to make noises that painful....
No one should hurt that much.
Then the words Im coming pounded on me like pouring rain, echoing through the room, bouncing off the walls with the screams until I thought I might go deaf.
I hugged myself tight with the onslaught of words and screams and pain.
What did he do to hurt so badly?
Look! Tasuki cried, grabbing some pants in Hot Topic. Arent these totally wild?! What do you think theyd look like on me?
I thought I might die. The way the cashier looked at me.... That guy was creepy, too. Had way too many piercings for my taste and was dressed all in black and even his hair was died black....
Theyd look cool, Tasuki, I replied, rolling my hands nervously on my Gap sweater.
I still think you should go punk. These pants would look sooo shibby on you! he smiled, holding up some yellow parachute pants.
I winced. I dont know....
Im not gonna try and change ya, it was just a suggestion. I think Im gonna get some! he announced, pulling out a pair of deep blue to match his died bright red hair. Permanent too. Loves the stuff.
Probably bought it here.
I wished hed hurry up. I was beginning to fear for my life.
Thankfully that was the only thing he was going to buy and occupied the cashier for a few minutes while I snuck out of the store and back into the light.
I didnt really mind, I guess, when he dragged me into stores like that, hell, I dragged him into enough prep stores to suffocate him, I just felt so uncomfortable in there.... I dont know. One of my mental problems.
But then we went to a store in which we both agreed on.
Chocolate! Tasuki gasped as he walked in, clutching his hands under his chin.
The Godiva Chocolate store.
We snuck more samples than we were allowed and I managed to buy a nice box of raspberry and orange chocolates.
That made me hungry, Tasuki whined.
Well, we can go to the food court, duh, I answered. And then have some of my chocolates!
It was nice to be able to make my own decisions. I wasnt worried that my parents would catch me, I really didnt care. It would just be another punishment. I could handle the punishments, but being caged away wasnt easy.
So he got some cheap Chinese and I grabbed some Chickfila and we sat down to enjoy our meal.
I really dont know why I like this stuff so much, I spoke, inspecting a piece of chicken before popping it in my mouth. I rarely get to eat out.
Well, when you eat junk in moderation, it always tastes great, Tasuki spoke, smiling. Hell, junk tastes great even when you eat if every day!
I was glad to have him as a friend.
Hey Tasuki, have you ever been in love? I asked, sipping my soda.
Dont think so.... Why?
I shrugged. Before I had time to ponder why I truly asked the question, I saw something that made my blood run cold.
Fuck Tasuki, I hissed, my voice jittering in anxiety. Its the man from my dreams!
Tasukis head snapped around to get a look at the man walking toward us.
This seat taken? he asked, pulling out a chair at our table.
I felt weak. His voice still had an odd ringing quality. Not to mention he was hotter than the fucking sun.
No, I finally managed, snapping myself out of awe.
He sat down, resting one hand on the table, so near mind that I could reach out and touch it with the slightest movement of my fingers.
And I wanted to. Just to make sure he was real.
My name is Heero Yuy.
Heero.... I breathed the name, testing it on my lips and tongue.
Im Tasuki, he spoke, seeing as I was still breathless.
I felt a light blush cross my face and was angry. I was acting so stupid! I was better than this!
My name is Duo Maxwell. Nice ta meet cha.
He gave me a small smile. Duo? Nice to meet you too.
For the next hour we talked. He wasnt as cheerful and smiled a lot less than his counterpart, and he didnt seem as touchy, but I didnt mind much. He was supposed to be different.
I found out that he was twenty, living in New York, and moved down here for schooling and just to get out. I knew what it was like to be trapped in a place.
I like to think he acted warmer when talking to me where as he gave Tasuki very straightforward answers. He teased me and seemed as though he was trying to make me laugh. Or maybe it was just me. Oh, I could kill him for turning me into a stupid girl searching for smiles that werent there! But...it was kinda of nice....
We have to go, Tasuki finally announced, glancing at his watch.
I think my face fell to the floor.
I didnt have enough time with Heero yet!
Well, Heero stalled, wh-when will I see you again?
I have a half day this semester, I told him. My parents dont know. The two classes Im taking are only offered in the afternoon. You can call me and well set something up. I scribbled my number on a napkin and handed it to him.
Ill walk you out, he spoke, standing and following us to Tasukis car.
We said our farewells, but when I tried to climb into the car, he grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to face him. To stare into his beautiful sapphire eyes....
He truly was a dream come to life.
Slowly he moved in to whisper in my ear.
Something clicked, he murmured, his lips brushing my ear, his warm, damp breath tickling it and making me shiver. Its like finally coming home. -pause- I feel like Ive loved you forever.
I almost couldnt believe the words left his lips.
He didnt seem the type to say I love you, yet now he said it to me....
I thought I might faint.
I smiled up at him.
Then I dont know whats wrong with me, I replied, just as softly, realizing that his nose was making its way gradually making its way across my face. I feel like Ive loved you for more than forever.
Do you mean that? he asked, his lips only centimeters away from mine.
More nervous and more calm than Ive ever been in my entire life, I answered simple yes and as my mouth opened to speak the word, his lips caught in mine and he wound it into a simple kiss.
Then I hope to see you soon, he spoke as he released me from his mouth.
Im sure I looked like a fool. I knew I was blushing and my heart was racing and that my mouth was still hanging open a little, but...but it was my first kiss.
He smirked as he let his thumb trace over my still parted lips, giving me another quick kiss before disappearing.
I think Tasuki dragged me into the car, but Im not sure. I also think he said the same thing several times, but once again, Im not sure.
Finally I heard what he was saying, and didnt like it.
You let that freak kiss you?! What are you thinking?! Hes probably going to fucking rape you next time you see him!
And if he hadnt have been driving, I might have slapped Tasuki.
Im telling you, hes the man from my dreams, just not. Thats his alternate self.... Oh Tasuki! If only you could understand--!
Understand what? The guys a fucking cradle robber?! Well, I suppose you are eighteen, but still--!
You couldnt understand and you wouldnt believe me, but were destined to be together!
Youre destined to get raped!
I know your only trying to be a good friend, but I really love him, Tasuki. It was meant to be!
You just fucking met him!
But me nothing, Duo! Ive always been backing your ass up and for the most part, you havent listened! Well guess what, Duo? You want to get involved? Go the fuck ahead and get involved but Im not going to cover your ass or listen to your tale of woe when he rapes you in a bathroom stall! Got that?
Even if you are destined or whatever, he still has hormones and youre still hot so shut that pretty mouth before I smack you! he roared, breaking the speed limit by a least fifteen miles per hour.
I sat there, confused. Did Tasuki have a crush on me? Or was that just a statement of fact?
I hoped it wasnt the former, but I really dont believe Ill ever find out. He dropped me off at the church without another word.
I wasnt expecting him to talk to me Monday.
Im taking the car, I growled. You dont use it! I am eighteen! So Im going to drive myself to school!
I grabbed the keys to the car that was supposed to be mine and stormed angrily out. As expected, Tasuki didnt pick me up as usual, but it didnt matter.
I had plans with Heero.
He called me up that night, and I could tell he was shy about it. I think he thought he was invading my space or moving to fast.
But I wasnt in argument. We were destined and I was glad to be destined to him.
We mustve talked until one, and though he was nervous at first, he loosened up and laughed after the first hour.
I could hardly wait to see him again.
I found myself in his embrace at McDonalds.
Hey. You look nice, he greeted, petting my cheek.
I blushed a little. Thanks.
What something to eat before the movie?
We grabbed some breakfast and sat talking.
Tasukis pissed at me, I finally uttered.
He...he doesnt understand....
So you know too?
I looked up at Heero and Nodded. You visited me.
As did you.
So its all true and Im not really insane? I asked, glad I was right. Glad Heero knew too. Glad he had found me.
Not unless I am too, he replied, stroking my hand.
After that we were near inseparable.
Weeks passed and we spent every morning together.
And, well, yes. I lost my virginity to him....
But it wasnt rape at all!
It...it was wonderful....
Tasuki was wrong. But he still wouldnt talk to me.
I wish he would.... Hes still my best friend and near my only friend.
But we cant change everything, now can we....
We finally got out of the Lord of the Rings on Saturday. It mustve been our hundredth date. It was now winter vacation and I was basically living with him for the two weeks.
It was Christmas Eve and we were spending it on the town.
Both of us wanted to see the three hour-long movie, being big Tolkien fans. And we certainly werent disappointed.
He wrapped his arms around my waist as we walked to the Mexican restaurant.
I...I want to give you your Christmas present now, because Im really nervous and the quicker I get this over with, the more we can enjoy Christmas.
I paused and looked at him.
Well thats no fun. Then its not a Christmas present, I replied, smacking his shoulder playfully.
Please? he begged and I smiled.
Of course you can.
He smiled down at me and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
Slowly he drew a little package out of his pocket and handed it to me.
I stopped walking and took it, thanking him as I unpeeled the paper, finding another small box inside. Slowly I opened the lid and found the most beautiful white gold diamond ring encrusted with little amethysts inside.
I figure we can plan for sometime after you graduate but...will you marry me? he asked anxiously.
My breath caught in my throat and I felt my eyes tear up. I lifted a hand to my mouth as I began to sob, turning my head into his shoulder.
Of course! I cried out shakily. Of course Ill marry you, Heero!
He took the box from me and took the ring out, slipping it onto my shaking finger.
I love you, he whispered, kissing at my tears.
I slipped my hands around his neck and hugged him tight. I love you too. Ive only ever loved out.