1-5-2002

-Title: Holiday Magic 1/1
-Author: Izora Jade
-Anime: Gundam Wing
-Pairings: 1x2, 3x4
-Rating: PG
-Warnings: fluff, sap, cheese, snow ball fights, snow angels, hot chocolate, envious Wufei, slight cussing, shonen-ai
-Notes: I don’t really know if there is any story behind snow angels, Christian or otherwise. I made all that up, please don’t hurt me. ^^; The end is inspired by ‘What it’s Like to Feel’ by CobaltHeero.
-Disclaimer: If I owned this anime, I probably wouldn’t be writing this stupid story. I don’t own it, thus I am writing this story. I’m warning you now, if you try and sue you’ll get exactly what I have. Absolutely nothing.
-Archive: http://www.angelfire.com/gundam/darker_dayz and I would be delighted if anyone else wanted to host me, just e-mail me first, hm? ^_^
-E-mail: wonkycat24@hotmail.com
-Feedback: Yes please! ^_^

 

Heero got out of the hospital quickly after the Mariemaia incident and so they resided in one of Quatre’s large mansions as a sort of vacation before they decided what they would do with their lives. As Duo suggested, they vacationed in the north, to enjoy the snow while it was there.

Duo, whether he showed it or not, was the most afraid of what everyone would decide when the time finally came. He didn’t want to ever leave them and be out on his own again. He had found some security in being around the same four guys for the past two years and security was hard to come by for Duo Maxwell.

However right then he was tromping through all the snow alone.

First him and Quatre tried to build a snowman, but Trowa came out and stole Quatre away for a walk and they disappeared. Then Duo tried to involve Wufei in some snow-time games, but Wufei only had so much patience and after about five minutes, snapped and ranted about how stupid the whole ordeal was and stormed inside because he was cold.

Duo was quickly realizing how un-fun being in the snow alone was and the only person he had yet not pestered was Heero.

So, smirking, he hoped up and stared through the foggy glass of Heero’s window as he typed at his laptop.

“Damn guy never gets outside. That can hardly be healthy,” Duo muttered as he watched his secret crush. The only other reason he never wanted to leave was because he knew he would never see Heero again once they did. Heero didn’t care about anyone, he would never think to visit or even contact them.

“You think he would. I mean what in the hell does he do on that computer? He probably has a zillion e-mail accounts!”

Suddenly Duo smirked and grabbed a ball of snow, tapping viciously on his window before disappearing behind a bush.

He bit his bottom lip to keep from laughing aloud as Heero threw open the window and looked about outside for the offender of his silence.

Then he was hit smack in the face with a snowball and he saw Duo crack up and fall in back in the snow, holding his sides in outrageous laughter as Heero glared.

He slammed the window down and stormed to the closet to pull out a coat.

“I’ll show him!” he growled as he threw on the coat and opened the door quietly, gathering up a large ball of snow before sneaking around the side of the house. He glanced over and saw Duo sitting up and staring at his window, as if waiting for him to open it again.

Then he turned the corner and hit Duo smack in the back of the head.

Duo shot around, lifting a hand to his head in annoyance.

“That’s not fair! I wasn’t ready!” Duo cried as he tried to gather up another snowball as quickly as possible to retaliate.

“I wasn’t ready either!” Heero shot back as he too attempted to build a snowball in record-breaking speed.

From then on it was a full-fledged war of flying snow. Both of them being ex-pilots, it was equally difficult to hit the other. Duo laughed as he dodged behind bushes and trees, trying to avoid Heero’s deadly aim while simultaneously trying to relish in the fact that Heero was actually out there with him, playing in the snow and laughing! He was so adorable when he wasn’t acting macho. Duo couldn’t understand why he would ever want to act that way when he seemed so happy having fun.

Heero didn’t even realize that he was really enjoying himself. All he really knew was that there was no pain while he was sneaking up on Duo and chasing him around trees and snow banks. There was never any pain when he was around Duo; he had made that connection. Somehow Duo’s laughter made all of that go away. He liked that and that was why he continued to romp around in the snow like a stupid ten year old.

The war was over. There should be no more pain.

“I’ve got you now!” he cried as he ran into Duo, pushing him down into the snow, falling on top of him, locking him there. His hands were on his shoulders and his knees around his waist.

Duo stared up at Heero and smiled. Their noses were almost touching. He could feel Heero’s warm, excited breath washing over his face. And Heero was grinning like he’d just one the lottery, his eyes shinning with, what Duo would dare call, mirth.

He never wanted to interrupt that moment, but he knew that if he didn’t, there might be dire consequences. It was too easy to lean up and kiss him and no matter how happy Heero was, Duo was most certain he didn’t want that.

“Heero....” he breathed and suddenly Heero realized what he was doing and stood, brushing the snow off his hands and turning once more into the stone-cold soldier he was raised to be.

But he glanced down at Duo, who stared up at him with those soft violet orbs, and he felt warm inside and let his features melt a little. No one was there to see him, besides Duo, and he knew that Duo wouldn’t care or probably even notice.

However Duo did notice, but felt it was just his eyes playing tricks on him as he slowly began to move his arms and legs in arc formation.

Then, carefully, he stood and hopped back, looking down on his creation and smiling.

Heero stood besides him, but was confused.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” he spoke softly and Duo looked over at him.

“What’s not to understand?”

Heero pointed. “What you just did.”

Duo tried not to stare. “You don’t know about snow angels?”

Heero tried not to look away from Duo’s stare. This hurt.

“No,” he answered as stoically as he could manage.

“Don’t you at least see it Heero? The wings, were I spread my arms, the skirt, where I moved my legs...?”

Slowly Heero saw what Duo was talking about and Duo noticed this in his profile.

“Sister Helen used to tell us stories about snow angels,” Duo whispered as his eyes teared up at the memories. “About how they watched baby Jesus and that if you made snow angels around your house, they would watch over you too....”

“And you believe this?” Heero asked skeptically, looking over at Duo, not realizing how close he was to tears.

Duo shook his head. “I used to, until the night of the Maxwell Church burning. Previously that day, all us orphans had made snow angels, but the church still burned that night....”

Heero watched as Duo wiped away a tear. Duo felt pain. This was wrong. There should be no more pain since the war is over!

Then Heero lifted a hand and placed it on Duo’s shoulder. Duo made his pain go away, he could at least try to return the favor.

“I’ll help you make snow angels,” he suggested softly and Duo almost fell over.

“You would?”

Heero nodded and once more he felt warm inside as he watched a smile spread wide across Duo’s face and he knew that he had succeed in making Duo’s pain go away. At the same time, he had helped himself.

So for the next twenty minutes they dashed about in the snow around Quatre’s mansion, falling back in it and laughing as they made a collection of angels.

Little did they know, Wufei watched from a window with growing envy.

“Well, at least I have impressive black mail,” he smirked as he walked down the hall and realized not only did he have great black mail on Heero Yuy, but the door to his bedroom was open too.

Slowly Wufei snuck in and sat down at Heero’s laptop.

He would finally be able to discover what was so secret that no one was ever allowed to see.

However, fortunately for Heero and unfortunately for Wufei, he had a screensaver password that Wufei couldn’t guess for the life of him.

So, sulking, Wufei disappeared into his room.

A few minutes later Heero and Duo stumbled back into the mansion, laughing.

Duo announced that he was going to dash up stairs for a hot shower and Heero threw his wet coat on a hanger.

He then found himself in the kitchen, determined to make
hot chocolate. Once he got in the kitchen, though, he realized that he
hadn’t a clue how to make hot chocolate and found himself digging through drawers for a cookbook. He finally found himself one that contained the recipe (since most of the books were for more fancy things like roast duck and pâté) and set about making it.

About twenty minutes later he heard Duo storming his way down stairs, making a racket while he went about it, as always. Heero decided that any house that contained Duo couldn’t be a lonely one.

He came down in a fuzzy bathrobe and slippers and Heero had to wonder how he could make so much noise if he was padded like that.

“Wow Heero! Hot chocolate! Thanks!” he cried happily as he sat down at the table as Heero set it before him. “I didn’t know you knew how to make hot chocolate.”

“I didn’t. I found a cookbook.”

As Heero tidied up around the counters, putting things back, Duo just stared into his steaming drink. He couldn’t help it. He couldn’t drink it. He just kept thinking about how this was one of his last days with Heero, with the others. How once more he’d be alone. He’d never build a snowman with Quatre again and get huffy at Trowa for stealing him away and tease them about their relationship. Wufei would never scream at him again for being a stupid, brain-dead idiot that should have been born female. He’d never teach Heero how to make snow angels or see him smile....

“What’s wrong?” Heero finally asked as he took a hesitant sip of his own drink. Frankly, he didn’t like chocolate much at all, but he made it so he figured he might as well drink it.

“Nothing,” Duo replied sullenly, unable to face Heero’s eyes.

“I can tell something is wrong, Duo.”

“It’s nothing, all right?”

“Dammit, Duo!” Heero cried, grabbing him by the shoulders and kissing him square on the mouth.

Duo’s eyes shot open as he tasted Heero’s lips on his own, the unbelievably sweet taste of Heero laced with chocolate.

“Dammit, don’t hurt anymore....” he whispered, wrapping his arms tight around Duo’s shoulders, pressing him to his chest. “The war is over. There shouldn’t be any more pain....”

Slowly Duo choked back a sob as his fingers tightened around Heero’s clothing.

“I’m just worried that I’m going to be alone when we’re on our own again,” he managed out, tears shinning in his eyes.

Heero backed away from him and Duo unlatched his fingers from Heero’s shirt and they stared at each other for a long time.

Finally, and to the surprise of both of them, Heero spoke first.

“You make my pain go away. When I am by myself, I feel pain. All I have to do is find you and I don’t hurt anymore. I want to make your pain go away,” Heero spoke, trying to make sense of his emotions, trying to put them into words, when he was unbelievably bad at putting anything into words.

Duo lifted the cup to take a sip of the chocolate and try to calm himself down, but his hands were shaking too badly, so he had to return the cup to it’s position on the table.

“Do you love me, Heero?” Duo begged, staring him in the eyes and looking for his honest answer, praying with all his heart that that was what Heero was trying to say.

He wanted to make Heero’s pain go away, his loneliness, his fear, but he couldn’t do that unless Heero cared for him in the same way as he cared for Heero.

Heero stared back into the violet depths that would be the undoing of him and took a breath.

“I’m not sure what love is, by people’s standards. I wasn’t taught. When people say ‘love’, I don’t know what they mean. I know the dictionary definition. Love: one, an intense affectionate concern for another person; two, and intense sexual desire for another person; three, a beloved person, often used as a term of endearment; four, a strong fondness or enthusiasm for something. There are more religious meanings; such as God’s benevolence and mercy toward man is ‘love’. Then there is ‘to fall in love’, to become enamored of or sexually attracted to someone. There's ‘in love’, feeling love for someone or something. I know all of this and more about the word, but I do not know how to place them to emotions. I know anger and hate and I know what they feel like. The way I figured it was that love and happiness were the opposites of anger and hate. What I feel for you is on the extreme opposite end of anger and hate. If that is so, then I love you.”

Duo wasn’t expecting this and didn’t quite know how to take it. What did that really mean? It told him nothing but that he felt even more sorry for Heero for not even knowing how to categorize his emotions.

“But that tells me nothing, Heero!” Duo cried in frustration.

“Then help me understand what you are asking so I can take away the pain in you eyes!” Heero returned, even more frustrated because instead of easing Duo’s hurt, he was just creating more of it.

“Why did you kiss me if you don’t even know if you love me or not?”

“I don’t know! It seemed like the right thing to do! I just wanted to make things better for you!”

“Would you do that for Quatre?”

“Of course not!”

Duo paused. This could get him somewhere.

“Why not?”

“For several reasons. First of all, Trowa and him are an item and Trowa would get mad at me and it would be wrong all together. Second of all, I do not feel the same way about Quatre as I do you. His pain doesn’t hurt me so badly and he doesn’t make me feel the way you do.”

“How about Wufei?”

Heero couldn’t help but laugh. “No. Wufei would murder me and I have no desire what so ever for that nor to ever touch him, not like I do you.”

“You have a desire to touch me?”

Heero blushed as he sat down across from Duo, feeling that this would go on a long time and even though the topic made him uncomfortable, he knew that it would help Duo in the end if he could understand.

He nodded. “A lot.”

Duo pondered his question. “What do you mean by that? How do you want to touch me?”

Heero was blushing even harder and he didn’t want to continue, but he did because Duo asked.

“I...I want to hold you and...kiss you...and sometimes more than that.... Sometimes I want to touch you and...I want you to touch me back.... And sometimes I dream about it....”

At this point Duo was blushing too and decided that a new topic would be nice.

“Well, then what about Relena? Would you try to ease her pain and want to touch her?”

Heero shook his head rapidly. “No. Her pain, I would like to ease it, but not in the same way. Just because she needs more support and I understand this and for the world to maintain peace, but she does not make me feel the same way you do and I do not want to ease her pain just because she’s hurting. I do not want to touch her like I do you, or any girl for that matter. That’s disgusting.”

Duo was beginning to feel more relieved. At least he sounded like he was gay and like he loved him. He seemed to be sexually attracted to him, at least....

“Maybe you can understand this,” Heero offered. “You know Quatre and Trowa? I want to be Trowa and I want you to be Quatre. But I don’t want to act exactly like Trowa and I don’t want you to act exactly like Quatre. I’m not sure, but if I’m not mistaken, they love each other and that is why they act like they do, and so because I want that, that means that I love you, right?”

Heero began to blur before Duo’s eyes.

That made all the sense in the world.

Heero did love him.

“Or did that not make any sense? Dammit, I’m sorry I don’t understand emotions, Duo! Okay? I don’t know the right words but I do know that I want to hold you and I want to take away the hurt that you have inside of you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you take away the pain I have inside of me. You take that away from me. I like the way you make me feel. And I want to make you feel that way! If you can’t understand that, I.... I tried.”

Duo grabbed Heero’s hand in his own over the table as he let a few happy tears slid down his face.

“I love you, Heero,” he stumbled out as he held Heero’s knuckles to his cheek. “Tell me you love me too. If it feels right, then you’ll know. If you see me and only me when you say it, then you’ll know.”

“I.... I love you, Duo,” he managed, trying to form the word as best he could and with as much confidence as he could, but his voice only ended up breaking near the end because he felt his eyes fill up with tears. Tears that didn’t hurt. Tears that didn’t rip him apart as they had when he was younger.

“I love you, Duo!” he proclaimed again, his voice shaking as he stood, gathering Duo up into his arms and spinning him around the room as he cried happy tears into his shoulder.

Then they let their lips latch together as--

“Ano....” Quatre hesitated as both Trowa and him walked into the kitchen, looking for some kind of sweet snack to chow on after their extensive and tiring walk.

Heero promptly dropped Duo and once more began to tidy up the kitchen as Duo stood, muttering about first time love and pain before grabbing his hot chocolate (which by this time could be called ‘cool chocolate’) and storming out of the room.

Quatre just giggled and grabbed a pie from the counter as Heero left.

“Two guesses as to who made the snow angels out there, and you know Duo didn’t convince Wufei to help him,” Quatre spoke as Trowa got out a plate and two forks.

~*~*~*~*

Duo sat on his bed, staring at the snowfall at sunset through the huge sliding glass doors that lead out to his personal deck.

He heard his door open and close softly and the light patter of feet across carpet.

He didn’t look up at Heero as he sat down next to him. A hesitant arm possessed itself of his waist and he felt himself tugged slightly over. He let his head fall against Heero’s strong chest.

Both were in debate on whether to wreck the soft moment with words, or to let the time pass without such interference.

“It’s strange,” Duo finally murmured. “Sometimes the snowfall can make me so happy and feel so nice inside, yet sometimes it’s so cold....”

“What about now?” Heero asked back. “How does this snowfall make you feel?”

Duo let his face fall against Heero’s neck as he snuggled into his inviting body.

“Warm. Perfect.”

 

~*~Owari~*~

 

What did you think? Did it suck too badly? Is your brain rotting from the mindless cheese of it all? Do you want to know what Wufei had up his ass? Do you want me to shut the hell up because you’re already frustrated because you just read the worst piece of shit in the world? You do? *cowers* I’m sorry! *shuts up before Heero shoots her*