-Title: Beautiful (hey look I spelt it right ^-^)
-Author: Fire Heart
-E-mail: DuoandHeero4ev@aol.com, or firstname.lastname@example.org
-Genre: Angst, yaoi
-Rating: R - NC-17
-Disclaimer: Neither Gundam Wing, its characters, nor its story line are mine. Neither is the song 'Beautiful' mine, it belongs to Creed. I am not making any money off of this, so please don't sue!
-Warnings: My sad attempt at angst and a worse attempt at a lemon ^-^
-Reviews?: Oh hell yes! Please, I really want feedback on this one!
-Archives: If you want it, you've got it, just tell me where you plan on putting it so that i can see what else you've got :)
-Side Notes: Uhmies the song is referring to a girl, but for this fic just pretend it is about a guy. This is my second time using this song for a yaoi fic, I think I'm past the point of obsession with it ^_^. There are more notes at the end, but they have a mini spoiler in 'em, so don't read them first please!
/'blah...blah...blah...'/ = song lyrics
/blah....blah....blah.../ = thoughts
And now, our feature presentation (Gods, I hope that's not copywritten >_< )
Two shadows slipped unnoticed over the 12-foot wall. The one in the lead silently signaling for the other to follow as they penetrated the virtual fortress.
/'She wears a coat of color'/
/'Loved by some, feared by others'/
/'She's immortalized in young men's eyes'/
Duo kept close behind Heero, unwilling, for two reasons, to get lost in the rat maze he had found himself in. The first being that he could very well lose his life if he were ever caught, and the second being that... well he would look like a complete baka in front of his koi if he managed to get lost like some pathetic child. Duo wasn't sure when he had first started to mentally refer to Heero as his 'koi', but it was an easy term to use, even if it wasn't entirely accurate. Sure they usually spent the night in each other's beds, but Duo had always thought that if one had a lover, then they would literally love the other person. Duo grinned, inspite of himself. Heero didn't love anyone. The Shinigami had come to that realization one night, yet even that enlightenment was not enough to alter his fate.
Duo waited silently in Heero's bed, waiting for the Wing pilot to return home. He glanced at the clock, then turned his eyes quickly away, as if trying to deny that the clock was anywhere near accurate. It was 2:34 am, Heero had said he would be back by midnight. Duo knew better than to assume Heero was anything less then in perfect condition, he always completed his missions, flawlessly, without any slip-ups or mistakes. Heero didn't make mistakes. Besides, this wasn't the first time he had waited sprawled out naked on Heero's bed for hours, expecting the Japanese boy to enter at any minute.
Duo sighed and stared up at the ceiling, his eyes pleading with the heavens above to 'just give him one more night'. He always asked for one more night, and didn't care if it seemed desperate, Heero was worth it. His knight in shining Gundam. Duo smiled at that thought, and very nearly let out a giggle. He always got a little goofy at night, especially when he was waging a bloody war against reality for the sole purpose of keeping his pride intact. Pretending to be carefree was easier than dealing with the hurt he felt whenever Heero 'stood him up' leaving the Shinigami alone with only his depression and a bottle of some type of alcohol as a sourse of consolidation.
Finally giving up on the hope that Heero would return that night, Duo prepared to get up and leave the Japanese pilot's room, resigning himself to spend the night alone in his own cold bed. The Deathscythe pilot would have made it off the bed, were it not for the sudden creak of tired hinges as the door to the room he was now occuping, was flung open. Still standing in the doorway, the light from outside the room framed the Gundam pilot's body perfectly, making Heero seem like some ethereal creature. The Wing pilot's body was illuminated only enough so that Duo could make the other's perfectly sculpted body, yet not enough for Heero's face to escape from the cold shadows.
/'Lust she breeds in the eyes of brothers'/
/'Violent sons make bitter mothers'/
/'So close your eyes, here's your surprise'/
Duo smiled up at this majestic entity before him, wondering briefly if the glow was partially enhanced by the bottle of wine he had managed to polish off on his own during the night. The Wing pilot entered the room, closing the door behind him with a hollow click. With that action, the splendor faded and the man was once again simply Heero, the Gundam pilot. Duo listened to the sounds of his lover undressing, and tried to hide his anticipation... both mental and physical. The bed depressed slightly with the added weight of the second man, once again forcing Duo to use every ounce of his control towards not tackling his tired companion.
"Welcome home", Duo managed, though he cringed slightly at the high pitch it took, along with the added slur, courtesy of the now empty bottle on the nightstand.
A halfhearted grunt answered him from the darkness and Duo began to lay back down expecting a quiet night, instead of their usual nocturnal activities. Abruptly Duo felt a hand reach out and stroke Duo's bare chest. It was a signal. The Wing pilot would never say what he wanted, nor would he take it himself. At first it seemed like Heero wanted to still be able to tell himself that he was just going along with what Duo wanted. However the Deathscythe pilot had along ago let go of that thought, replacing it with one easier to handle: Heero wanted to feel like he was wanted, needed... loved. It wasn't entirely accurate, but it kept the braided boy from going over the edge.
Silently Duo rolled over, and straddled his lover, resting his back against Heero's bent knees. The Japanese boy bent slowly to capture his companion's lips with his own. The Deathscythe pilot prodded Heero's lips with his eager tongue, as if begging for admittance. The boy's answer came as Heero parted his tingling lips to allow Duo's entrance. The two tongues at first casually massaged each other, as if not wanting to rush the new sensations, however the game increased intensity becoming a full on battle for control. Duo moved one of his hands down to tangle on the side of Heero's unruly hair, stroking his friend's face with his thumb, while his other hand was used to prop up his body, above Heero's, on the side of the pillow.
The braided pilot gasped as the soldier responded by reaching his hand around Duo's neck, stroking the other boy's hair. Though it was the Wing pilot's other hand that seemed to be much bolder and was mostly responsible for the hiss-like gasp that escaped Duo's mouth even through the kiss. Heero's other hand had found its way to the shinigami's chest, lightly squeezing and teasing the nipple it had found there.
/Foreplay? He must be desperate if he's using foreplay..../ The American pilot banished the thought, unwilling to let his analytical mind ruin this moment. Duo regretfully broke off the kiss, more out of exhaustion than in response to the painful thought, at least that's what his slightly muddled mind tried to convince him of . The blue eyed boy used this opportunity to flip Duo on his back, leaving Heero as the one on top... and in control. Continuing his ministrations on the first nipple, the Japanese pilot lowered his head to attend to the ignored one. Darting his tongue out to taste the pale skin while occasionally nipping at the hardening flesh, thus earning several more hisses from the American boy.
Heero, suddenly stopped all of his movements and the Shinigami realized he hadn't been doing anything in return to give his love similar pleasure as that which he had previously been experiencing. The Deathscythe pilot reached out to Heero's chest, intent on using similar actions to please his lover, but the Japanese boy's hands swatted Duo's away from their goal.
/... heh I almost forgot... the perfect soldier only indulges in foreplay until he gets bored... now its time to give him what he comes here for.../
Easily guessing the Wing pilot's silent meaning, Duo wrapped one of his arms around the other boy's body while the other one fumbled in the dark for something on the almost hidden nightstand. In the meantime, Heero had taken on the position the American boy had originally assumed, with his legs straddling the other's body and his back lightly leaning up against Duo's bent knees. A tiny sigh escaped Duo's lips as he discovered what he had been looking for. Lubricant. It was always kept in stock, the Shinigami had learned early that it was a must have for nights like these, especially since this was Heero Yuy, the perfect soldier, who he was sharing a bed with.
Opening the tube with ease, the braided pilot smeared some on his hand and carefully massaged the other's erection.
/...damn why do I always fall for the really horney ones?/ The lame attempt at humor didn't really console Duo very much, but he couldn't help but try to break the depression that was already setting in. Whether it was simply a result of the alcohol, or whether the American pilot's situation was really that bad was hard to tell, but this wasn't the time to lapse into some deep inner reflection. Once again adding some of the lubricant to his hands, Duo motioned for Heero to get up onto his knees. The Japanese boy responded silently, while Duo spread his own legs.
He hated this part the most. It wasn't that he was grossed out about having to lubricate his own entrance himself, it was that Heero was. The look of disgust, when the blue-eyed boy had discovered that Duo expected him to lubricate his partner's entrance, had haunted him every night since that first night. It still did, but not for nearly as long, by this point it had become second nature, a chore... but a necessity. Having finished what he was expected to do, the American wiped his hands at best as he could upon the sheets beneath him.
Through the dim light that peeked from beneath the door frame, the braided boy saw his companion nod slightly and move himself back so that Duo could loosely wrap his legs around the other's lower back. The Wing pilot pushed his organ into Duo's entrance quickly, almost violently, then rested to allow himself and his friend to readjust to the feeling. Duo had had to bite down upon his tongue to keep from yelping at the stinging pain that swelled from his entrance. Swallowing the metallic taste of blood, he morbidly congratulated himself on not seeming like a weakling to his lover by not submitting to the first bit of pain. It had taken a long time to reach this point, but sustaining it was never easier.
Heero set a gradually quickening pace that seemed to suit him, while staring directly at the other boy's eyes. A light from outside illuminated Heero's face long enough for Duo to catch a glimpse of the other's eyes as they stared through him...
/'For Beautiful is empty'/
/'Beautiful is free'/
/'Beautiful loves no one'/
/'Beautiful stripped me'/
Cold... lifeless. There was simply nothing there, not even the slightest shade of passion or lust and there was certainly no sign of love, no matter how deep Duo tried to look. This meant nothing to the Wing pilot, Duo meant nothing to him, this wasn't even a mind game and malicious intent never even came into it. The Perfect Soldier didn't think this mattered enough to deserve pre-meditated hurt... it was nothing.
/'... Your regret, is all that's left'/
~~End of mega-long flashback~~
/'She told me where I'm going'/
/'And it's far away from home'/
/'I think I'll go there on my own'/
/'I think I'll go there on my own'/
They had received this mission a couple of weeks after Duo's realization. However, the Shinigami had continued to give himself to Heero. It didn't seem to matter that Heero didn't love him now. The American was set on holding onto that childish hope that one always finds themselves clutching to. That the person will grow to love them, that by some how loving another with everything you have, they will see all that you have done and realize the error of their ways in not expressing their love for you sooner. A perfect soldier makes no such mistakes...
The braided pilot couldn't even remember the mission by this point. Heero knew though, it was what he lived for. If the Japanese boy was even capable of love, it was entirely dedicated to the mission. Body, mind, and soul.
The two figures stopped as they reached the center chamber of the building. Duo felt his back itch at having his braid plastered against it within the confines of his clothing, yet resisted the urge to scratch and instead concentrated on the boy before him. Heero typed a few keys on the keyboard, as something about planting a virus returned to Duo's memory, but he simply didn't care. The Shinigami had come along for the ride, he didn't really care what the mission was.
After a few minutes, the Japanese boy scanned the computer screen before him. Seeming satisfied with his completion of the assigned task, Heero turned around and began to walk out of the room and back the way they had came. Never looking back to see if Duo followed. However, the braided boy did follow his lover. It was all he had, he couldn't simply walk away from that which he loved, no matter how much he was aware that this kind of unrequited devotion was tearing him apart.
As the two maneuvered around the dark corridors, the sounds of booted feet marching down the hallways floated over to them. The sound was becoming too loud to be a simple patrol. They had been found out. The Gundam pilots quickened their pace, yet attempted to still remain quiet so that it would take longer for them to actually be found. A light shone up ahead of them and Duo mentally sighed as he realized they had finally come to the entrance they had used. Heero and Duo easily made it back outside, however when they emerged they could see a large number of troops rushing towards them. Both the Wing pilot and the Deathscythe pilot sprinted towards the bridge under which Heero had concealed his Gundam. The two Gundam's would have been too hard to conceal, so the boys had agreed upon only taking one and having the other ride on the outside of it. When they were about 20 feet from the bridge, a sickening series of explosions from behind the two runaways indicated that shots had been fired.
Duo's eyes widened in pain and shock an instant before the lead bullets tore through his skin, shattering several bones. However, the desperate pilot paid no heed to his own injuries and instead sharply turned his head upward to see if Heero had been hurt. There was no sign of blood on the Gundam pilot as he bounded into the cockpit of his Gundam immediately readying the weapons. Heero was safe, Duo's reason for life was still perfect. A nauseating smile crept upon both pilots' faces. The American's was at the safety of his love, and the other's... at the opportunity to kill.
Dropping to the ground, Duo barely avoided the assault launched upon the enemies behind him. The braided pilot pulled himself over to lean against a nearby wall, not even bothering to inspect his injuries. He simply watched in morbid awe as Heero slaughtered the oncoming troops. The Shinigami noticed his eyesight dimming from the loss of blood, but fought it as best he could, he couldn't leave Heero, not now, not ever.
Once all of the soldiers lay dead upon the crimson battlefield, the Wing Gundam turned towards where Duo lay propped against the wall. Heero's eyes met with those of his companion. Weakly, Duo raised his arm, reaching out to his perfect soldier. He knew he was dying, but maybe, just maybe...
"Stay with...me... please? I just want to die knowing... that you're... by... my side... ai... ai shiteru... Heero..."
The Gundam pilot sat back into his Gundam, and closed the hatch. The great titan stood and walked away from the bridge. There were missions to be completed, this one was over, a success, and there was nothing more he had to stay for.
/'For Beautiful is empty...' /
('squeezing and teasing' I'm a poet and didn't even know it ^-^ sorry
i couldn't find a better way to say it)
(no he does not have alternate personalities in his head, he's drunk remember?)
(Not that I don't absolutely swoon over that braid, but you have to admit it would probably get in the way sometimes)
Damn, well that was my first attempt at a Gundam fanfic, but I'm not entirely new to writing fanfiction. Since this kind of left Heero as the bad guy, and Duo as the one who got hurt, I've decided to write another fic with those roles somewhat reversed. I'm gonna use the song 'Flavor of the week' cuz that's one of my current faves ^_^. Since I'm part of both the DHML, and the HDML I'll post them in separate lists. The DHML gets this one simply because Duo's name is first in its title, and he's sort of the good guy in this one^-^. The other one will be posted in the HDML once it gets out, so that I'm posting in both, but not cross-posting ^_^. If you want me to send you the next one, just leave me a review with your e-mail addy, and I'll send it to you as soon as I finish writing it.