8-6-2001

scurries outta hiding* Eep. My it's bright out. Oh, right. Sun's still up. *sigh* Oh. Yeah. Um. Coupla weeks ago..like two? I wrote a fic. *gasp* So, I'm de-lurking to post it. Then I'll scurry back. Uhm. It's kinda of a deathfic. -.-; Was feelin more than depressed on that day and kinda had to write it.

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Title - Glitter
Warning - Uhm. Slightly depressing.
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The blade hovers just over my wrist, more importantly, over the visible blue vein. The blade catches the candle light and glitters with a friendly gleam. I can't help but grin. My grip on the handle is gentle. Almost like a lover's embrace. I snort softly. I sound like a moron. Which I am. A grinning moron forever caught smiling. I lay the blade against my wrist, my hand at that moment decides to tremble slightly. I sigh, pulling the blade away slightly. I place the blade back on the nightstand and pick up my book, reading. My gaze keeps straying to the blade and the way the light from the candle dances across the smooth metal.

I reach over, picking up the blade again, twisting it in the light. It's actually a pretty knife. The handle made from mother-of pearl. The blade, stainless-steel. I can't help but wonder though. There must be something that can stain the gleaming metal. The knife isn't exactly heavy, but it is of good weight. The balance is great. It'd be almost perfect for a throwing knife. If it weren't for the extra weight of the handle.

I absently lay down my book, just staring at the blade. My eyes travel up the thin piece of steel. I already know it's sharp. Incredibly sharp. Sharp enough to gently hack off a braid. Which lays by my side. My hand steals up, touching the back of my neck, fingers brushing against the short hair. I'm still not sure why I did it. It seemed like the right thing to do. Luckily, I'm by myself. Else the others would probably try and stop me.

No big surprise there. They are well-meaning. Really they are. But..I feel out of place with them. They've somehow become my family. Without me meaning to do so. Strange twist of fate, really. I had promised to not get a family. Because they don't last very long. My eyes stray back to the blade, reminding me of what I really should do. I sigh softly. Oddly enough, the thought of actually taking my own life is odd. Yes, I can understand making a death wish and fighting a very one-sided battle. But, this was actually planning it out completely. Making sure to be alone, so that no interruptions can happen. I rest the blade, again, over that pretty blue vein. This time, my hand is steady. So very steady. I took a deep breath, mentally calm.

One swift movement and a soft hiss later, the blade's glittering wetly. I bring my wrist up to eye level, staring at the thin line of red that grew, making a line down to my elbow to drip onto my blanket. Which was black. A good color really. I lay my wrist in my lap, watching the red pool into my palm before spilling off onto my jeans. Which, almost hungrily, drank the liquid.

I really couldn't help but smile. I picked up the blade, staring at my other wrist, my eyes following the veins. The blade slippery in my grasp. Of course, blood does have an interesting habit of being slick. I managed to get a better grip on the handle and drug the blade across my wrist, wincing slightly.

Immediately, the wound blossoms red, the color escaping from its confines to slither down my inner arm, to separate at my inner elbow and meet back up on the other side.

I pick my book back up, my fingers staining the cover red, and resume reading again. As I get more engrossed in the book, I begin to get light-headed and cold. I ignore it, still reading. I really wanted to finish the book. It was a book about some girl, who against all odds beat her prophecy, only to die anyway. I blinked, my vision getting dark. Just as I reach the last page, darkness swoops in. I'm aware of the book falling from my numb fingers, then darkness taking over. Silence following right on its heels..

~Fin~

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*hides* Bad, I know. Gomen ne. Scurrying away for any of ya'll throw stuff at me.