11-17-2001 (updated)

Well, this fic is going over better than I thought. OH a common question, yes all poetry in this fic I wrote unless otherwise noted. For those intrested the rest of my works are on my hp...http://www.geocities.com/d_huron/pindex.html

Disclaimers: Gundam wing is not mine, just the fic.

Warning: Will have angst!! Will be yaoi in later chapters. Oh yeah, poetry within this fic is mine...*ducks from flying veggies and the sorts*
[] shows thoughts
******* scene change
////// flashback...

I think that is it.
Pairings: 1+2...um other pairings might appear later on.

Archive: None, but if someone wants it...drop me a line.

On with the fic

Jester Unmasked

 

Part 1

 

Duo was sitting in class, he sighed while looking out the large window. So much had changed in such a small amount of time, not too long ago he was with his friends. A sharp pain erupted in the braided one’s heart, so he decided to glance over his creative writing assignment. Poetry was one thing he was good at.

/Hmm....looks good to me/ he thought.

"Hurst-kun??" the soft timbered voice pierced through Duo's thoughts. He looked up from his assignment.

"Yes Tori-san?" replying in a neutral but friendly tone.

"It’s your turn to present your assignment" she replied, smiling a little. She couldn’t wait to hear his new work of art.

Getting up from his spot in the back of the room, Duo made his way to the front of the class. He kept his eyes towards the front of the room, fighting the sudden butterflies in his stomach. He pulled out his glasses from his shirt pocket, although they were blanks they served as part of his ‘disguise’. He cleared his throat, and looked out at the large class. Duos noticed his friend was cheering him on, silently, with thumbs up and smile. He opened his mouth, and began to read his poetry assignment out loud.

"The name of my poem is Sensual Winds."

"Sensual Winds, blowing through the Sky
Gently rolling across my skin, caressing my face
The soft voice of the breezing wind echoing in my ears
The Sky holds so many wondrous secrets surpassing
The Depths of the Mysterious Ocean.

Duo inwardly sighed, the mental image he had nearly stole his breath. To stand out in an open field, and have the wind welcome you into her embrace.

To Be a Sacred Wind Rider, Soaring in the Sky
Rolling across every fiber of your being
Up in the Heavens at peace, Looking Down
At the Majestic Landscape.

The braided teenager wondered how it would feel to be a bird, to have the sky as his domain. He could picture looking down at the earth, seeing everything from a new, innocent perspective.

Arms out Wide, Riding the tides of the Sky
Pretending to be the Eagle, Owning The Skies
Touching the Welcoming Clouds
Feeling The Splendor on my fingertips

Duo continued to read his poem, as he felt himself slip into the fantasy within the words.

Watching The Night Sky Take It's Place
The Moon Shining Down, and I Soaring
Higher, so Much Higher Almost Touching
The Lustrous Moon.

Taken over by the Night Winds, Running
Over Figure. Covering Me, Manipulating Me
To Their Will as We Dance Up in the Midnight Sky
The Moon Shining Down upon Me

He could feel himself high in the sky; turning, spinning, flowing: gentle breezes passing over his body, like in the poem; as he was one of the sky’s children.

What A Glorious Feeling
The Wind Holds so much Mystery and Passion
I look up high in the Sky, seeing the single leaves
Wishing to be Soaring In the Ocean of the Sky."

Duo took a few moments to gather his thoughts, to find his way back to reality. He looked up from his paper, meeting the gaze of the classroom.

"Very Good Hurst-kun" stated the teacher in awe. She had no doubt that his poem would be nothing short of moving. Her newest student had a wonderful talent in writing, but also in reciting. He felt the poem as he read, emotions filling his voice.

“Thank you” Duo replied, smiling from the compliment. He walked back to his desk in the back, and exchanged smiles with his small group of friends.

“Great job”

“That was so beautiful”

“You must show us more”

Duo didn’t know what to say, before enrolling nobody had ever known he had a passion for writing. The braided boy thought he was mildly good, but to get so many compliments brightened his day.

The class was ended by the bell, the students quickly gathered their belongings and headed out into the hall.

*****************

Heero sat at his laptop, fingers blazing across the keys at a frantic pace. For over a month he had been trying to locate Duo, but he was running around in circles. He knew that G was hiding the elusive pilot, and wouldn’t tell them anything. In fact, he remembered asking the scientist and receiving a glare.

"K'so, where is he??" He shouted to the empty room, frustrated. Had he really driven the friendly pilot away for good, and for what? A stupid, callous remark that he didn’t even mean; Was this what it meant to accept one’s feelings, this deep continuous pain. Heero knew it was guilt, for hurting a fellow pilot, a friend. As the world was, friends were extremely rare; yet he had squandered his friendship with Duo. Constriction of his throat was another feeling he was becoming accustomed to, ever since that day.

Heero stopped his typing, he felt as if he were choking, with no hope for air as his mind drifted back, reminding him of his grave error.

//////////////////////////////////////////////

A crashing sound from the foyer caught the attention of the four pilots sitting in the conference room in Quatre's estate. They all exchanged worried looks, hoping no body was injured. Wufei rose from his place, an oversized chair, and walked over to the door, his hand grasped the handle, and with a turn he opened it. At first he didn’t see anything, but as he stepped out of the room and into the foyer he spotted the shattered coffee mug. Wufei walked over to the mess, bent down to pick it up. Once all the glass was off the floor he looked around, wondering who dropped the mug.

The Chinese pilot stood up and walked back to the room where the others were waiting for him, but something was nagging on his mind. If a servant had dropped it, they would have cleaned it up…what if…

"K'so!" Wufei cursed.

"What's wrong Wufei???" asked Quatre in a worried voice.

"I think that Duo overheard our conversation" Wufei replied, his face

ridden with guilt. It was possible that he had, they weren’t really talking in quiet tones. And it did make sense, if Duo did hear and was holding a cup of coffee…

‘Gods…’

Quatre's face paled, as he thought about what Wufei said. He looked down at his hands, completely ashamed of himself. If Duo had heard, he would be deeply hurt.

Trowa looked down at the floor, shame coloring his cheeks. He tried to convince himself that Duo didn’t hear; that they were all just paranoid.

Heero's face showed nothing as usual, but his mind was going a mile a minute.

‘Did he hear us? He’ll be so upset, or mad at us. I wouldn’t blame him, though. I have to do something, maybe try and explain if he did overhear us.’

"I'll go check on him, you all wait here" Heero replied in his usual nasal tone. He walked out of the room, trying not to think of the possible emotions Duo would be feeling.

Upon entering the room, expecting to find Duo, Heero walked into an almost empty room. Looking around he noticed that the other’s pack was gone as where most of his things.

“No…” he whispered, disbelievingly.

Taking a final look around the room, Heero entered the adjoining Restroom; and noticed Duo's missing brush and hair care products.

‘He is gone. We must of really hurt him’ Heero felt a pang in his chest. He had to lean against the wall as his throat tightened and his eyes stung.

He stumbled back into the bedroom, intent on leaving but he saw a piece of paper on Duo's messy bed. It appeared to have been ripped out of a spiral notebook; it was Duo’s handwriting, perfect cursive. Heero began to read it, the pain blossoming all over his body, his heart began to beat faster and the constriction in his throat increased. He felt like Duo had struck him in the stomach, knocking out his air. Heero was choking from the raw emotions. Pain, guilt, loss, anger, sadness, desolation; they all seized him. His eyes burned, wetness leaking down his cheeks.

"Is he up there?" asked a frantic and worried Quatre. He stopped as he saw Heero.

“No…” he whimpered.

Heero handed to paper to Quatre. Trowa and Wufei went to the blonde’s side to read the paper.

“He must have… left that to show us…how much we…hurt him…”

The other’s read what was on the single piece of paper.

"Words,
filled with hate and hurt
words
become swords that cut to the core

Emotions are neglected
as the blade is released
and pierces the heart
inflicting a fatal wound.

Cast out into the dark
once again, as demanded by fate
when will the mind learn
what the soul knows...solitude

No physical pain
can compare to the pain
of the soul being denounced while the heart
is torn asunder

Displaced in time
rejected
the soul and heart die
Never able to function again."

/////////////////////////////////////

"Where are you Duo?" Heero asked the ominously quiet room, he looked over at the still unmade bed, willing the other pilot to appear.

 

Part 2

Duo rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Sigh, now I remember why I always wore contacts". Looking into the mirror of his small single, Duo no longer saw the mask of the fool he once wore. He saw himself, face set in a neutral statement, the pseudo glimmer in his eyes gone. The violet orbs reflected nothing of the shattered mask, but only showed pain and loneliness. "If they only knew," Duo Began, " I wonder what they would think of the real me. I guess I won't find out anytime soon." Sighing Duo put the glasses back on and proceeded to his desk to start up his homework.

*****************

Meanwhile back at Quatre's estate, the remaining four pilots did everything they could to deal with their guilt. Wufei was always out in the garden meditating or practicing his judo. Trowa would spend hours upon hours repairing anything and everything he could see. Quatre sat in his room.

"I'm so sorry" he whispered between heaving breaths. "Why did we do it? Why was he there?? Will we see him again?? Will he forgive us?" questioned the blonde. Unfortunately for him those questions would remain unanswered even through the bleakest times.

 

Heero remained at his laptop still in search of the missing American. His eyes looking from the screen of the laptop to the black notebook he found under Duo's bed that morning.

"Why was I so cruel? I should have known better, Damn Yuy" Stopping his typing Heero grabbed the notebook and opened it to a marked page.

""Well I made Wufei mad again. Perhaps I went to far in my attempts to get his mind off of the war. Well, mission accomplished as Mr. Perfect solider would say. I wonder what they think of me. I know "the braided baka that will end up getting us all killed" sheesh you think they could be a little less hurtful. I think I would go insane if not for Quatre. He is the only one that talks to me and puts up with my attempts to lighten the mood, even if that costs me so much of myself. I wonder what they would think of the real me, the person behind the Jester's Mask. The Bookworm or computer geek, I wonder what they would say if they found out I'm just as good if not better than Heero at computers...Yeah gimme a break. Crap someone's at the door. gotta go for now.""

Still berating himself for his actions Heero got up from his chair, bones and joints popping from the prolonged sitting he imposed upon them. He made his way downstairs to grab something to eat. He didn't hear the beep his laptop gave him.

********************

Back at Duo's dorm, Duo smirked as he tracked Heero's searches. "Ah, 01 I see you are looking for me. But the Question is why?" thinking for a moment. "Oh yeah, For the good of the mission Duo. Is that all you think about???" Duo was on the verge of tears as he typed in a few commands in his laptop. Detouring Heero's efforts as he has been for the last month.

"Perhaps one day I'll face you all again, but not now" at that moment the door opened and a very loud and bubbly girl popped into Duo's room.

"Come On Christian-san" she said

/Of all the names, why did I pick that one/ "Just a minute Tori-chan" he replied. quickly closing all the windows and before Tori chan could see Duo got up and went to the door.

"Lets go" Duo replied as he made his way out the door with his newly found friend to the coffee house to discuss poetry.

Duo didn't notice that he left his computer hooked to the net.

 

Part 3

Later that evening Duo walked back into his room with a small smile. He really enjoyed spending time with Tori and the others. The coffee house had been fun and he had shown them his newest work.

////////////////////////

Tori and Duo arrived at the coffee house, the others were already there and someone had already ordered him a cafe espresso. "Thanks for ordering for me"

The group of friends continued with small talk, but they all were given quick glances in Duo's direction. Feeling self-conscious at the stares he asked why they were looking at him like that.

"Well Chris-kun", began Tori, "we were wondering if you had anymore poems".

Seeing the looks from the others Duo laughed and nodded his consent. Going through his bag he pulled out his poetry book.

"This one is called Heart's Melody", clearing his throat he began.

""The Heart plays a melody
Such beautiful melodies
Each one unique
So very soft the melody plays

Faintly I hear the melody
of my heart. A slow melody
of sadness. To any other
a normal melody.

The Days Pass, all
I have is the melody
Sad yet soothing as
it is familiar

How Envious I am,
of those with happy
melodies. Their heart
know many more joys than mine

Can anyone hear my melody,
does anyone hear?
Will the melody change, will
someone come along and teach
My heart anew?""

////////////////////////////////

He sat in his chair lost in recent memories, his eyes shifted to the picture on his desk. It was the only one he had of all five pilots together. During one of their school infiltrations, one of the yearbook students ,with a camera, took the photo of all five. Duo asked for a copy.

"I wonder what they thought then", unbidden his mind raced back to that awful morning.

////////////////////////

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNG"

A hand shot out from the bed to slap the offending clock off of the nightstand. Low moans faintly came from a lump on the bed.

"Damn alarm clock" grumbled a very grouchy Duo. Getting up from the warmth of the bed, he made his way to the bathroom. After relieving himself and brushing his teeth, Duo made his way back into his room, only to trip over his bag. "Shit!!!" "Dammit all to hell, I still need to unpack from the mission." After debating the issue for a while, he decided to go get some coffee and breakfast before unpacking.

After downing his second cup of coffee and almost half a dozen donuts, he made his way into the foyer, with his third cup, in search of the others. He heard voices coming from the make-shift conference. Heading that way, he paused upon hearing his name.

"That Damned Maxwell, I swear by Nataku I'll kill him" Wufei shouted voice filled with anger unseen before. "He is worse than a damn toddler"

"I agree Wufei, Duo's antics are a bit trying on one's nerves" began Quatre

"Trying????? More like workin' my last nerve!!!" shouted the enraged Dragon.

Unknown to them, the subject of the conversation was listening to the exchange, the mask slowly fracturing.

"Hn, the Baka gets on my nerves worse than Relena. The fucking idiot has no sense of control, never shuts that damn mouth, never takes anything seriously, we would all be better without him and the stupid half brained antics of his." Heero put his opinion. Trying to calm down Wufei with humor, yet the consequences of this action will be severe.

"I tell you an Onna would have been a better choice. Relena would be a far better choice, Ne? I mean she might be annoying as all hell, but no where near as annoying or immature as Maxwell." Wufei's tone was slowly becoming normal as he began to joke around with Heero.

"Of all the people in the colonies" started Trowa

"We got stuck with the braided twit" finished Quatre. Slowly getting in the game, a little part of his mind was telling him this was wrong, but he ignored it and continued in efforts to calm Wufei down."

"I know, why don't we cut off his braid, give him a mohawk and die it Pink" Heero delivered deadpan.

"I can see Duo with a pink mohawk, it would certainly fit his intellectual capacity" Trowa stated with the a smile gracing his face.

"Ah but we can just continue to ignore him when he gets on our nerves, the lowly street rat always scurries away." Quatre stated between giggles.

Everyone in the room started laughing, not noticing the person outside the door looking in. Nor did they see the mask shatter and fall to the ground along with the coffee mug Duo drop while trying to stop the sobs and tears. Racing up the stairs he thought he heard the door open from the conference room.

Running into his room, Duo grabbed his pack from the night before ran into the bathroom threw in some of his stuff, his body shaking from the uncontrollable sobs. After finishing in the bathroom he grabbed his poetry book and quickly shoved it into the bag. He did not see one sheet of paper fall onto the bed as he went out the window and climbed down.
///////////////////////////////

The sound of his laptop brought Duo back from his unpleasant memories. Opening the mail he saw it was from Professor G.

02,
Request received and approved. For the time being you will be working solo. Upgrades to Deathscythe are almost complete based on the instructions you sent.

G.

Closing the laptop, Duo changed and decided to read in bed before going to sleep.

****************************

Running through the darkness, panting from running. Quatre stood in a clearing. Before him was Duo with his back to him. "Duo..."

Slowly Duo turned to face the blond, with a sad small smile, he began to fade into the Darkness. Yelling for him to stop, Quatre ran towards him trying to prevent him from leaving. Stretching out his hand, Duo just shook his head and vanished completely.

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Quatre. Covered in sweat and gasping for air. Realizing it was a dream, he tried to go back to bed, but his mind refused to clam down. A knock at the door.

"Quatre are you OK?" Inquired Trowa

"I'm fine, just a nightmare. Sorry to wake you, go back to sleep I'll be OK"

He heard receding steps, taking a breath, he went over the dream once again. / What does it mean (1)/?

Meanwhile, in another room in Quatre's estate, Wufei was thinking when Trowa came in.

"Quatre is taking this really hard"

"We all are, it is our fault. Mainly mine for blowing up like that. How can I claim to defend justice when I do something like this." not meeting Trowa's eyes, Wufei got up and left the room in an attempt to get some sleep.

"Come back Duo, how can we make up for this" Trowa wondered out loud. Leaving the study he made his way to his room. Passing Quatre's door, he could still hear a few sobs. He felt a constriction in his chest, not wanting to bother him anymore, Trowa went to his room.

Heero was knocked out on his bed, after spending most of his time looking for their missing partner his body finally demanded sleep. Fitfully tossing in his sleep, low murmurs of apologies, and confessions of love faintly filled the empty room. While on his laptop, the alert from they searches they all have been hoping for sat blinking awaiting to be read.

 

Part 4

The darkness of the room, slowly began to vanish as light from the morning sun poured from the windows. Duo woke, getting up from the bed he made his way to the bathroom. While brushing his teeth, he looked at his reflection. //Time to stop moping around. Maybe the scars are beginning to fade and heal//. Feeling better, he made his way to the closet and changed. A shrill beep from the laptop filled the room. //A mission? Good, I need something to do besides nothing.// After securing the lines and scrambling the signal so no one could trace the call, Duo opened, clicked, and received. Professor G's face popped up on the screen.

"Duo my boy, how are you." The question asked in a neutral tone, but the concern apparent in his eyes. (1)

"I'm fine Professor, decided to stop `sulking' and move on. Thanks for the concern, but I doubt that was the reason you contacted me."

Sighing, " No, that was not the only reason. A mission has come up for you but.." he paused trying to find a way to tell Duo, " it involves you working with the others. Their objective is to blow up the Oz base four miles south of town. You are to act as backup in case they are overwhelmed. Can you handle this?" the last sentence asked with slight concern coloring his voice.

Duo's mind had stopped upon hearing `working with the others'. /Them, work with them again. Am I ready to face them yet??/ "Hai, mission accepted. When do I leave?" Inner panic began to crowd his mind, inside he was shaking and scared. None of it made it to his face or eyes.

Trying to determine if indeed Duo was ready, G gave him all the details he would need for the mission. "They will not know of your involvement of this mission unless you are needed to help complete the objective. Take Care 02, G out."

*******************

Heero sat in front of the laptop, a small smile of relief graced his face. //Found him!! Duo we have some talking to do, I only hope you will forgive us, forgive me// the last thought was a plea from his heart. His inner musings were interrupted by an incoming message from J. Opening and reading it, he sent his reply. Getting up to get the others he left the room with one thought. //After this mission Duo, I'll be coming for you.// The rest of the day and early evening were spent preparing for the mission that night.

*******

The four gundams were in the middle of dire battle. Outnumbered and with the pilots running tired, the enemy was slowly but surely winning.

"Shit Shit Shit" hollered a very flustered Wufei. "Where are they all coming from" Slicing two mobile suits while Heavyarms launch a barrage of missiles at a group of Leos.

"I'm almost out of ammo" Trowa stated. His body covered in sweat, fatigue plaguing his body. Looking at the view screen he saw Sandrock being surrounded by Taurus'. Trying to make his way to Quatre's aid, he failed to notice the two Aries heading his way.

Heero was of no help as he was dealing with a swarm of Aries on his own. Quatre checked his rapidly decreasing power supplies. Seeing himself surrounded and the others engaged, he whispered words of goodbye. "What the Hell??" A Black burr passed his screen, in it's wake three of the suits blew to pieces. / It has to be Duo!!/ Seeing the opening in the circle, Sandrock moved out and attacked the nearest target.

The ominous shadow; partially illuminated by the cold, pale light of the moon shot through the area at an uncanny rate. Slicing through mobile suits left and right with such precision and accuracy. The odds were rapidly decreasing, giving the other four actual hope. Heero, Wufei, Trowa and Quatre watched in amazement as it soared through the air like a hawk. With the help of the newly installed thrusters. He advanced upon the squad of Aries.

"Duo...watch out you're going to crash into them!" yelled a frantic Quatre. As the words hung in the air between the five, Deathsycthe stopped it's advanced and shot up into the atmosphere, hurling itself behind the Aries. The screams of the Oz pilots were muffled out by the sound of explosions. Turning his attention to the base, which was still functioning, Duo piloted his gundam to the control center, and with one arc the place went up in flames.

The other four watched as Deathscythe took control of the battle. Speed, endurance, and reaction time were matched only by the pilot of Wing. "Duo, come in....Duo respond" Heero was getting very pissed that his hails were being ignored.

"Greetings 01, 03, 04, 05. Do not worry about the remainder of this mission I'll handle it" Duo replied in an icy tone. With that said, Deathscythe began to glow a faint black. The green flame of the scythe slowly turned to deep dark crimson red. Pivoting on it's foot, Shinigame delivered its final judgment upon the base with such ferocity that it appeared as a blazing tsunami tidal wave of blood had engulfed the Oz base. A chain reaction started as the thermal scythe destroyed the buildings.

Explosion upon explosion ripped the base apart , the four Gundams watched as Deathscythe was illuminated by the roaring inferno as he slowly faded into the starless night..

"No! Duo Come back. Speak to us" shouted the blonde pilot. Moving his gundam to follow the other. Heero stopped him.

"No Quatre, I know where he has been hiding now."

(1) Well who says all of the mad five are cold hearted eh? Come on Duo just grows on you ok?....

Part 5

After securing the gundams in the underground hanger, the four pilots marched into the study.

"Did you see the way his gundam moved?" No one needed to know who Wufei was referring to. Since Deathscythes appearance and the victorious conclusion of the battle, all four of them wondered why Duo came, but most importantly why he didn't say anything besides the clipped reply to Heero.

"How are we going to ask for forgiveness when we can't even get him talking to us?" Trowa asked, frustration apparent in his tone. "Heero, do you really know where he is?"

"Hn, I said I did. I will leave in the morning, after I have made a few arrangements."

"I'm coming as well!" shouted the remainder.

"Hn, I don't think..."

"NO! This is all of our faults, so it is only right we all go" Demanded the determined Chinese youth.

Always the peacemaker, Quatre first tried reason. When that failed, he turned to Heero with the look...

"Fine! Be ready by 10 am or I'm leaving without you." With that he stormed up the stairs.

***********************

Duo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Today he was to read a rather personal poem. //Che, it's my fault for submitting it. How was I suppose to know that baka teacher would like it so much. I will read it without breaking down..I will!!// Repeating the last phrase, the mantra started to soothe his anxious mind. His eyes never left his desk, if they had he would have noticed two sets of eyes staring at him. The teacher called him up. Putting on his glasses, still looking down, he looked up to address the class.

"This is entitled `Lost'" scanning the room he finally noticed, sitting in the back Heero and Quatre. //Shit Shit Shit!!! What are they doing here?? How'd they find me?? Calm down Duo, you knew they'd find you sooner or later// Swallowing the large lump in his throat Duo Began reading.

'Surrounded by Darkness,
frightening yet calming.
The spirit is lost,
looking for the wavering beacons

The spirit calls out,
but the darkness swallows the plea
Forlorn, the spirit falls into
the engulfing abyss

Falling, the spirit spots a beacon,
wavering, yet constant.
Heads toward the beacon
The spirit finds another lost soul

Connected by pain,
the two search for the way back.
As the darkness begins to fade,
The two souls begin to shine once again'.

His voice thick with unshed tears, Duo looked into the Prussian blue eyes. He saw a flicker of something. //I wonder what that was?//. Forcing his body to move, he made his way back to his seat, praying the earth would split open and swallow him whole.

Heero and Quatre were both taken aback by the depth and power within Duo's poem. Both could read the underlying pain, both asked the same question. //Who is he referring to?// (1)

To Duo's good fortunate the bell rang, he was the first out of the class. Making a beeline to the forest at the west end of the campus in hopes of losing a certain pair of teenagers. Unfortunately Fate had other plans for him. "Duo, Matte!!" //Damn, why me?? Why is Fate being so cruel to me?// Pretending to ignore Quatre, he continued his trek to the forest, that is until he was stopped by Heero, who had grabbed his arm.

Spinning around, anger showing within the violet orbs. "What the fuck do you two want??" he spat venomously

Shocked from the vulgar language, Quatre began. "Duo we need to talk. We've been so worried..."

"There is nothing to talk about 04, why would You of all people want to talk with just a street rat?? Worried?? Like hell, I'd figured you all would be happy to get rid of my childish antics. Has Wufei found a suitable Onna to take my place...or should I just dye my hair pink and prance around in a Frock??" A virulent gleam enter his eyes as he continued to verbally bashed Quatre in. Looking at Heero, "What spandex boy, nothing to say?" With that he turned around and ran. Tears gushed out of Quatre's eyes as he watched Duo run off. //Not again//. Slowly his feet listened to his mind and started to head in the direction Duo ran off to.

Only to be stopped by Heero. "Let me go Quatre. Go find the others and fill them in. I'll meet up with you later." Finally nodding, he went to find Wufei and Trowa.

Heero sped off to catch Duo. He say the end of the braid whip around the corner. Seeing his target, he pushed his legs to go faster. Finally catching up to Duo, he grabbed his arm. "Duo...please stop. I...I..." Not turning around to face Heero, " You what, Heero?" "Please listen to me, I've been trying to find you since you left..." Heero knew he was rambling, but he just couldn't find the words he needed, "I need you". Since Duo had his back to him, Heero didn't see the flash of evil intent in Duo's eye.

Spinning around, Duo gave him a sultry smile. "You need me eh?" Closing the gap, Duo's hand started caressing Heero's chest. "Is this what you need?" Heero's brain went into overload.//No No this is wrong...feels so good.// While his mind argued with itself, his body reacted to Duo's advances. Seeing this reaction, Duo slid his hand down his firm stomach, lingering at the waistband of the spandex, and slid lower until he was squeezing Heero through the spandex.

"Oh gods Duo, I've wanted this for so long." Coherent thought went out the window as the stimulation increased. Heero saw Duo's face moving closer.//Yes//. Closing his eyes, Heero felt Duo's breathe on his cheek, he felt Duo's cheek against his.

Duo's head moved closer to Heero's. Seeing his eyes shut he smirked, bypassing the lips, he made his way to the ear. "I've wanted this for a long time to Heero. Maybe now you understand how much your words hurt me. The others shattered my mask, you shattered my heart. Maybe in time..." he left the sentence hanging. Quickly, before Heero could see the tears, he ran to his dorm.

Upon hearing the confession, Heero felt a deep pain centered in his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw Duo run again. A single tear fell down his cheek. //No, I won't let it end like this.// With that thought he ran after Duo again.

Heero stood in front of the door. Trying to calm himself, he knocked. "Go Away." Hearing the sobs coming from within, Heero tried the door knob, being unlocked he opened the door and went in. He was unprepared for the scene that greeted him. Duo lay on his bed, face down, sobbing into his pillows. Moving without thinking of the consequence, he was on the bed beside the sobbing boy. Heero pulled Duo into a fierce embrace. Duo tried fighting him, but soon gave up and sobbed uncontrollably into the warm chest. "I'm so sorry Duo, please forgive me." his voice thick with grief. "I'm sorry Heero, please stay right here and hold me" he choked out between sobs. Heero did just that until Duo cried himself to sleep. Still holding the boy Heero made a vow. "I'll never hurt you again Duo". Shifting on the small bed, Heero soon followed Duo into the realm of dreams.

When Duo awoke he felt comfortable and warm.//Hmm...that's strange.// Opening his eyes he saw that his head was lying on Heero's chest. Blushing to a cherry red, he tried to recall what happened.//Oh yeah, now I remember. Now comes the hard part. Although this is far better than I thought it would be.// Snuggling deeper into the embrace, he felt Heero shift under him. "Duo, are you up??" //Someone must really hate me...//

"Hai, I'm up" Looking up into Heero's face, he gasped. Never before had he seen such emotion radiating from those icy orbs. "Thank you for staying Heero, even after what I did...", shifting so he could meet Heero eye to eye Duo continued, " I want to show you something, it is something I wrote after what happened." "Duo, I'm sorry about all of it. I've regretted it every waking hour. Can you forgive me?" he pleaded with the braided pilot.

With a small, but heartfelt smile, Duo nodded. "Yes I can Heero, as a matter of fact I already have. But I want to show you something." He climbed off the bed and went to the desk at the other side of the room. Pulling out a notebook, Duo flipped through the pages, when he found what he was looking for he returned to Heero. "Read this, after you do I have some things to tell you about my self."

`Purgatory

String me up and hit me just like a pinata
Go ahead, I don't mind after all I'm not important to anyone
I have no feelings, just filled with stuffing
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Stuff me back into the garbage bag, toss me to the curb
No longer useful to you, so drop me like the waste I am
I have no feelings, toss me to get collected with the other garbage
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Take what you want from my Soul
Drain the light from my essence, until all that remains is a hollow shell
I have no feelings, crush me under your foot like an empty can
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Glance into my eyes and tell me your lies
Gain my trust, tell me you will be there when I fall and need someone
I have no feelings, scream at me for even wanting to talk to a "friend"
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Make my life a living Purgatory, never helping shoulder my heavy burden
Add to my pain by telling me vain promises running to kick me while I'm down
I have no feelings, sink that jagged dagger into my all too trusting heart
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Tell me I'm your friend, only to act like a treacherous thief
Cover my eyes with the ominous clouds of your aura
I have no feelings, Betray my trust while not thinking of my feelings
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

Attack my mind while I lay dormant in my bed
Spew your evil intentions into my subconscious
I have no feelings, fill me with self doubt
Go ahead, follow in the foot steps of so many before you

I held you so close, the only "friend" that I could trust with my problems
You just add to the pain and suffering of my torturous existence
Adding your burden to mine, making me falter
Not there for me, like so many others, who said they would be
You left me alone in the pit, filled with the evil snakes of life

How can one trust after so many betrayals in life?
How am I suppose to get through this, the only one I could talk to has turned his back
After all I gave and gave to help, I am left standing in the bleak desert of what once was
I will endure this, for I must endure. I have nothing else I can do.
I leave this massacre of trust with a deep cut in my heart and soul
Looking for another one I can trust, but knowing that person is just
an illusion that my soul keeps hoping for, but will never come
I bid you farewell, even with all this pain I cannot wish you harm...'

As he read the poem, Heero felt the pain and sorrow in it. "Duo, I didn't know.."

"Sssshhhh..Heero. Not all of that is about what happened. A bunch of it has to do with my past. The events that happened just brought a lot of it back." Letting fresh tears fall, Duo told Heero everything. From meeting Solo, being the recluse, making a vow to do everything in his power to keep others happy, to his time at the Maxwell Church." Heero listened to every word, while holding Duo, letting him cry on his shoulder. Finally after all was said, they sat in silence. Finally unable to do nothing, Heero placed his fingers under that delicate cheek and lifted those lips to his own. Without hesitation, Duo responded. Finally breaking their first real kiss, Heero looked into those passionate eyes. "Thank you for telling me Duo, I can see now how much pain we caused. Are you up to talking with the others??"

Nodding, "Yes I need to speak with the others, then we can move on from this."

(1) Well who do you think it is???

Part 6

Looking into those violet depths, Heero couldn't help himself, moving his lips down to recapture the lithe ones. Slowly deepening the kiss, he shifted his body to lay next to Duo's. Before anything else happened, Duo stopped Heero. "We can't do this."(1) Confused by this statement, Heero only raised an eyebrow.

"Huh?" //Smooth, real smooth Yuy//. Getting into a sitting position, "What do you mean Duo, don't you want this. I want you..."

"Do you really know me Heero?", looking downward Duo continued, "For so long I've kept that jester mask, so long that it became apart of me. You say you want me, do you mean all of me?? We need to give this time, if I rushed into this, I will always be wondering if you really wanted all of me or just the "jester". I hope you understand." Refusing to meet his gaze, Duo kept his focus on the floor, until his chin was lifted to meet Heero's gaze.

At first Heero was rather annoyed, but as he listened to Duo's words, he began to understand the braided pilot. //Maybe now I can do this right//. Noticing that Duo was trying to avoid looking at him, he put his fingers under Duo's chin and lifted his head sotheir eyes met. "I understand Duo, and I will wait forever plus a day if that is what it takes."(2)

With a nod and a smile, Duo got up from the overly comfortable embrace, and made his way to the restroom. Splashing water on his face, he looked at his reflection.//Now to face the firing squad. I can handle this. Hmm....perhaps I should have a little fun with those three.// With an unholy gleam in his eye, Duo left the restroom. "Well Hee-chan, lets kick this pig." He said with much of his old enthusiasm. Seeing the confusion written on his face, Duo just smirked.//Heh, this is going to be too fun.// (3). Heero just sat there, shocked, //Hmm....I wonder//. Nodding to Duo, the two left the room in search of the others.

*********

In a small gazebo, on the outskirts of the school campus, Wufei and Trowa listened with heavy hearts as Quatre retold what had transpired with Duo. After finishing the recount, Quatre tried to suppress more tears. Pulling him into a rough embrace, Trowa stated matter of factly that Duo had every right to still be angry. Looking up, Quatre spotted said pilot coming toward them. Hearing his gasp, Wufei and Trowa immediately followed his line of sight. //Oh shit// they thought in unison. Reaching the others, Duo motioned for them all to sit on the benches so they could talk. Sitting in silence, all five pilots looked rather uncomfortable, they looked at anything but each other. Finally tired of the nerve wrecking silence, Wufei spoke.

"Ma..Duo, I know how hurt you must..." but before he could finish, Duo cut in.

"Do you really 05? Can you really sit tere and tell me you can understand how it felt, to be betrayed by the only friends I have left in this world. Everyone that has been close to me has died, so can you imagine how it felt to hear all that shit from your `family'. Cuz that is what I thought of you all." He really didn't want to get so testy, but Wufei's statement snapped something in his mind, sending Duo into a frenzy.

Heads hung lower after that proclamation, three hearts tightened at the words "thought of". "No, I can't imagine Duo. Please don't call me 05." barely in a whisper Wufei shifted uncomfortably under the heated glare. //Shit..calm down Duo, this will get you know where. Breathe..good.//. Trowa opened his mouth to speak, but was silence by Duo.

"Trowa let me speak. Wufei I'm sorry for that. It's just your statement, struck me wrong.", looking at all four of the pilots he continued, "I'm not going to say I'm still not hurt, but I realize that mistakes are made, and I know people have given me a second chance. I forgive you all, but this better not happen again." Walking over to Quatre, he whispered in his ear, "Quatre, I'm sorry for earlier, that was totally uncalled for."

Nodding his consent, he threw his arms around Duo's neck in a fierce hug. "Does this mean you are coming back with the rest of us Duo?"

"I don't know Quatre," he paused and looked at the others, "so much has changed. I'm not sure if we can go back to how we were." Not willing to accept this Trowa spoke with determination.

"Please Duo, we need you. I know we took you for granted, please reconsider." Biting his lower lip he extended his hand to Duo. "Hi, my name is Trowa. What's yours?"

Looking into those eyes, Duo saw the sincerity, with a smile he shook the hand offered to him. "Nice to meet you Trowa, I'm Duo." The bonds of friendship were finally repaired as five pilots started over in their friendship.

**************

Over the next couple of weeks, the five pilots we often together just being ordinary teenagers for once. No missions had come since the reappearance of Deathscythe. The others finally saw the other side of Duo. They found out he liked to read and was partial to writing poetry. Often times he would just sit out in the garden and write. During this time his and Heero's friendship had grown, considering each other best friends. Although, Heero still felt a small since of emptiness because they weren't more, often times he'd watch the fey youth. Just observing him when Duo wasn't aware(4). At the end of the third week, Duo finally agreed to return to the safehouse with the others.

The first week of his return went by swiftly. Activities were planned, much to Duo's excitement. They were inseparable, the bonds of friendship growing stronger each day. Slowly things returned to a normalcy they never knew.

That Saturday, Quatre woke up early, deciding to have a cup of tea and sit in the library and catch up on some reading. He was quite surprised to find Duo siting at the desk, with crumbled up paper covering the desk, the trash can and littering the floor. His interest peaked. "What are you doing Duo?" Jumping about a foot in the air, he turned around and gave Quatre a goofy smile. " I was just writing, nothing much."

"Oh? what were you writing" He was really interested now, ever since he heard Duo recite that one poem in class, Quatre always wanted to read his writings. "Hm, well I don't know what it is Quatre, kinda wrote itself. Do you want to take a look at it?" Knowing the answer, Duo just asked anyway. "Sure!" with that Quatre took the offered paper and began to read.

`Burning

How can I forget
This molten fire burns within me
It is burning uncontrollably for you
You tell me to forget everything

How can the heart forget it's other half
The volcanic heat of passion
The warmth of the fire's embrace
The fire that you sparked

I want to hold you
Feel you against me
Know I'm yours for eternity
I quiver when I imagine your embrace

You say it is not real
How can you deny the heart
Feeling doesn't make you weak
Running and hiding from the emotion makes you weak

Take My Hand
Take the burning Fire of my love
Look deep within my Burning Soul
Listen to your Heart, don't run away
The Burning Passion we share is real
Let it surround us, let us be together
Look within my eyes, and see your true self.'

Eyes wide, Quatre looked at Duo, jaw on the floor. "Duo..that was....hell I can't even find words for it." Grinning ear to ear from the comment, Duo took the paper, scribbled something on the bottom and placed it in his poetry book. "Thanks Q, I wasn't sure about it, but seeing your reaction, it's perfect.(5). Getting up from the desk, Duo went to spend the day outside.

All to soon, night descended. Deciding to go to bed early Quatre said his goodnights and slipped into his room. Changing into his sleep wear, he climbed into bed and promptly fell into a deep sleep.

%%%%%%

Quatre found himself in the middle of a military base. "What is going on?" //I must be dreaming, but why do I have this bad feeling?// Hearing multiple explosions to the west, he headed that way, and stopped dead in his tracks. Before him stood a heavily damaged Deathsyche. It looked as though the black gundam were providing a distraction so the others, who were just as damaged if not worse, could escape. Feeling panic for some unknown reason.//Is this a warning?// Suddenly Deathscythe started glowing ominously red, the scythe's flame transmuting to blood red, the giant gundam slowly walked further into the base. "NO!!!! Duo don't!!!!!" Quatre's screams were silenced by the blinding white flash....

%%%%%%%

Bolting up, Quatre's breathe was labored. //Are these just nightmares...// Unable to sleep, he remained awake praying it was just a nightmare.

(1) Hee hee...did you think I'd make it that easy??
(2) *groans* I'm such a sap sometimes...
(3)What??...can't the guy have a little fun torturing them?
(4)Ok, I'm going to do I side story for this one. It will be a songfic. Basically about heero watching duo and wanting him more. Be on the lookout for it. Should be out tomorrow evening.

 

Part 7

Duo searched the house, not having any luck, he went to the gardens. Walking down the well traveled path, he made his way to the rose bushes. Sitting on the ground, he pondered. //I didn't know he could write like that. (1) This last weeks have been great, Oz is being too quiet though(2).// So involved in his thoughts, he didn't hear Heero sneak up on him. Duo jumped out of his skin as arms wrapped themselves around him. Looking behind him, knowing who it was, he smiled and gently scolded the other pilot. "Heero, you scared the crap out of me." Still smiling he added " I've been looking for you"

Heero watched from the safety of a tree. He saw Duo sit by the rose bushes. //He looks so peaceful. Did he read it? Grrr...this is killing me// Moving from the safety, he made his way to Duo. Noticing the other boy didn't sense him there, he wrapped his arms around the warm body, smirking slightly as the other jumped. Feeling a little bad from the scolding, but not much. His ears perked up at the last statement. "Really??"

"Yes baka really, that was so wonderful. I never expected anything like that." Slowly, he moved his mouth its counterpart. Feeling the other part his lips, Duo passionately invaded the warm mouth. Moving his arms to encircle Heero's neck, he deepened the kiss. Heero's mind just went into double time. //Yes//. As the two were slowly enveloped in the passion, both souls seemed to find a bit of peace.

"This feels right." Duo said after catching his breath. Getting up off the ground, he extended his hand to Heero. Helping him up, the two returned to the house and talked about what happened and mutually agreed to take things one step at a time.

*****************

Une walked into the office, carrying some folders, she was determined to find out why Oz has done nothing for the past few weeks. "Trieze-sama, why have we done nothing about the gundam pilots since we lost the last base?" she was truly confused, she wanted to attack the gundams and destroy the threat they posed.

"Ah Lady, because by remaining `neutral' we are giving the pilots and their superiors a false sense of peace. As we speak, a plan to capture them is in progress. Be Patient, all things will come if we have patient." With that Trieze went back to typing on his computer.

//I see, Trieze-sama, you are brilliant//

*****************

After checking for any messages from Dr. J, Heero got up from his spot at the kitchen table to look for `his' baka. //I wonder what he is up to//. First going to their room only to come up empty handed, he decided to try the Rec. Room. While getting closer to the doors, he could hear music blasting away. //Of course, he has to listen to his music at full blast//. Silently opening the doors he was treated with Duo dancing in the middle of the room, his slim hips gyrating to the sensual vocals of some female singer. Eyes closed, his hands reached up into the air moving slowly as the hip movements slowed to sensual swaying. Heero was enthralled by the performance. Duo wondrous voice accompanied the vocalist. // I didn't know he could sing//(3). He focused on the words that seemed to entrance Duo.

{Vengo vengo vengo de caña Vengo vengo vengo del son Tengo tengo tengo en el alma Ritmo ritmo ritmo y sabor Vengo de raza y de palmera De campo y de labriego De caña y de madera Mi orgullo es ser latina De mar y cordillera Ardiente como el fuego Soy sangre de mi tierra } (4)

Completely lost in those swaying hips, Heero failed to noticed when he was caught, that is until Duo cleared his throat really loud. "Enjoying the show?" he asked with a small smile?

"HmmMmmm" Heero replied.

"Why don't you come on over here and join me then" Taking his hand, Duo pulled him into the room, restarted the music and danced with Heero all afternoon long.

 

The next morning, Duo was awaken by a message from Professor G. Getting out of bed he went over to his desk and opened the message. His eyes grew twice their normal size, a huge lump formed in his throat, eyes began to water. Sending in his consent, Duo got his things together and walked to the hanger. Looking up at his gundam for a moment, Duo climbed up to the cockpit. Firing the engines, he went off to accomplish his mission.

*************

Nightfall had come and the other four pilots were worried sick. No one had seen Duo since the night before, after checking the hanger and finding Deathscythe gone, they concluded he was on a mission. The eerie silence was broken by an urgent message.

`02 in great danger. Make haste, accomplish the mission. Destroy the Base'

Coordinates were given, as a collective unit, the four bolted like the hounds of hell to go help their companion. The four pilots raced to the coordinates given in the message, each pushing their gundam passed it's limits. When they arrived, horror struck them to the core, Deathscythe stood, surround by Leos. Joining in the battle, the other four destroyed mobile suit after mobile suit, but it seemed as soon as they destroyed one, two took it's place. The five gundams fought tooth and nail for over half an hour, beginning to tire.

"This is not good guys, I'll set a distraction so we can escape." Duo's voice filled the comm. Agreeing with him, the others prepared to retreat. From some secret opening on Deathscythe's arm, massive bullet like projectiles we fired. Black smoke covering the area like death smothering it's victim. Wing, Sanrock, Nataku, and Heavyarms retreated.

Looking to find Deathscythe, they couldn't find him when they cleared the death cloud.

"Duo!!" Heero yelled through the comm, he tried to get a visual connection with the other gundam but was locked out by some complicated fractal encryption. As the smoke started to clear, Shinigami's shape was seen hovering above a fuel tank. Scythe once again transmuting into blood scarlet, alarms went off, indicating the imminent destruction of the base and Deathscythe with it.

"NO!!!!!!!!!" the four screamed. Their pleas went unheard as the scythe impaled the fuel tank and Deathscythe self-destructed simultaneously, causing a chain reaction of destruction. The sky rained fire from the blast, as four lonely gundams stood admist the destruction. A window popped up on their screens, a last message from Duo.

"Minna, I am sorry for what happened, and for tricking you. This mission had to be completed, the base had to be destroyed at any cost. Please I beg you, don't let my sacrifice go in vain, end this war soon. Do not let Oz take over, protect each other. I promise we'll see each other one day."

Three of the four messages ended, only one remained to deliver a private statement.

"Heero, you've made these last few weeks wonderful. Please continue living and finish what I've started. Oz must be stopped, continue to fight for those who can't...Remember that I always have and always will love you."

The final window closed on Heero's screen.

 

Epilogue
Notes: "Un-break my heart" is not mine, it belongs to the wonderful Toni Braxton.

No one knew how they ended up back at the hanger, but the remaining for pilots stood in silence. Similar thoughts ran through each ones mind. //He knew he was going to die, why??// Going into the house, the four went to their rooms to deal with the pain in their own way.

Heero was still in shock, his mind tried to accept the fact that Duo was gone. Walking into their room, he went over to Duo's radio and turned it on. //His favorite radio station//

<Well tonight we have a new release from a brand new star, with no further waiting here is Adam.>

`Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me'

The song piercing his wounded heart, Heero fell onto Duo's bed and cried for his lose

`Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart'

"Why Duo...why?' he choked out between sobs.

`Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don't leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can't forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me'

His sobs grew louder as he buried his head in Duo's pillow, trying to catch his lost beloved scent. Memories of the last few weeks filling his mind, times when he was happy and didn't have to act cold.

``Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Don't leave me in all this pain
Don't leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
`Un-break my heart
Say you'll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin'
Without you I just can't go on
Can't go on'

Crying himself to sleep, Heero's dreams were filled with being with his beloved. No war to take them away from each other.

Owari
*grabs his buster gun and hides in a chibi gundam*
Notes:
(1) I've read a few fics where Heero could write his feelings better than tell them out loud
(2)Foreshadowing
(3) Hmm..seems our Duo is full of surprises eh?
(4) another song by Thalia, and this does serve a purpose!!! Just not going to tell you what yet.

Ending Notes: I finally finished my first ever fic. But not to worry minna, these is just part one of a series. The next fic will be called `Rising Star', and it will pic up where this one left off. here are some questions and tidbits for the new fic

Who is this new singer??

[a female voice]- I know I know
dh- who are you??
[voice] Well duh, I'm your muse, T-chan
dh-wooooowoooooooo I gotta muse!!!
t-chan- well folks here is what happens in the next fic...Heero mppph mpph
dh-hush!!! don't tell them what is going to happen!!!
*gags his muse for now*

Anyways Relena makes an appearance.
Oz makes a move against the remaining four pilots
Duo's loss effects both sides

All that and more in `Rising Star', soon to come to the mls!!!