4-09-2001

Jade: well, I'm off to Tokyo, so this is all you're getting for a week or so....
dhuron: So since Jade's leaving, we decided to make this part extra....
Jade: extra long! right?
dhuron: Hai! And keeping with out new 'Devil' status, we present part seven of our fic...
Jade: um, enjoy? *giggles and gets on plane*
dhuron: Gah!! leave me to fend for myself...:sighs: ~clicks send and hides~

Title: Conflicting Emotions part 7
Authors: dhuron and Jade (d_huron@y..., jade9999@a...)
Pairings: 1+2, 2+3
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: yaoi, lemon, angst
Disclaimers: we don't own the Gundam boys, we're just playing with them

 

Heero checked his watch. It was time to go meet Duo. He was so happy he'd finally found his long lost friend, he just couldn't wait to be with him again. The old feelings of friendship were mixed with newfound feelings of desire, and all Heero could think about was being near his friend.

He walked down the hall, heading towards Duo's room. The braided boy should already be waiting, Heero wondered what they would do for the day. He was about four steps from his friend's door when he heard a loud crash.

Heero's heart pounded as he closed the distance to the door. He knocked and called out, "Duo!"

There was no answer. He knocked louder, and called again. There were no more sounds from within the room.

"Duo!" he yelled, panicking. His fist pounded on the door while his mind thought up several scenarios of what could have hppened. //Jonathan, no!!// Heero kicked the door down and gasped.

There was his Duo, his Jonathan, lying on the floor. He wasn't moving, and Heero could see the tracks of his tears down the beautiful face. He sank to his knees next to the unconscious boy.

"Jon?" he shook his unconscious friend, but he didn't wake. Tears poured down Heero's face, with shaking hands he pulled the other boy into his arms, holding him close to his chest. Duo weighed nothing in his arms; he seemed so frail. But he was breathing, shallowly. He started to stir.

"K-Kenji?" Duo murmured, so softly Heero could barely hear.

Heero hugged Duo tight, squeezing the smaller boy. "Jonathan, don't you ever scare me like that again."

"Kenji," he whispered, burying his face in Heero's chest, "I... I don't want to hurt any more..."

With Duo still in his arms, Heero rose to his feet. The pain in his chest only increased, the pain-filled voice of his friend was like a ton of breaks.

Heero wanted to take the pain away, he didn't want his Duo to hurt anymore. "Ssh, everything will be ok Jonathan. Trust me, I'll take care of it." Heero left the room and walked towards the stairs, Duo needed to get out of the dorms.

Duo snuggled against Heero's chest, no longer caring where they were going or what was around him. All he could see, all he could think about, was the way Trowa had looked as he had made love to Quatre. Trowa would never wear that look of love for him, never. He had to accept that.

It still hurt, being denied the love he wanted. Duo's hand tightened on Heero's shirt. He wouldn't cry again, it was over. He wouldn't cry.

Duo was finally able to feel some comfort in the solid chest beneath him. Kenji, no, Heero, deserved more than just rescuing him and carrying him off to safety. The braided boy felt bad for being nothing but a burden. He was sure Heero wouldn't want to be around him anymore; he bit his lower lip to stop the flow of tears. Am I destined to be alone? he thought, dejectedly. Here he was, in the arms of a gorgeous boy, and he couldn't stop thinking about the unattainable one. He didn't deserve to be happy. The tears started to flow again.

Heero saw the tears falling; it tore at his heart to see such despair on the beautiful boy's face. "Duo? Don't cry..."

"Oh, Heero," he sniffled, "I'm sorry. You're so wonderful to me, and all I give you is problems." He focused on the gold crucifix hanging around Heero's neck, and he said, "You're wearing it...."

"Duo. Don't say that, you're the only person I care about." Heero paused, gazing into the teary violet eyes. "I'll always wear this gift, you gave it to me. It's the only present I ever received that meant anything to me." He hugged Duo tighter, wishing he could take away all the boy's pain. "I failed you, I told you I'd always be with you."

Duo's heart ached. How could he be so blind? Ignoring Heero while he pined over Trowa... "You didn't fail me! You didn't have a choice! Oh, Kenji..." He wrapped his arms around Heero as best he could in that position.

Heero didn't hear the words, he was lost within the darkness of his loneliness as a child. "I should have tried to find you. I didn't look hard enough, if I..." the words stopped. "I'm so sorry...."

It was Duo's turn to reassure Heero. "Stop it! You weren't to blame!" he said firmly. "What matter is that we're together now."

Heero looked at Duo, he saw the little boy that was his friend. Those innocent, cheerful eyes. Then he saw Duo's pained filled eyes, and knew he was to blame. "If I was there, you would never have been hurt." Heero sat duo down on the grass, he had walked to the spot they were at last time. Heero's head remained downcast, he just couldn't look into the violets eyes. Tears fell onto the ground.

"Heero! Stop blaming yourself please!" Duo looked down. He felt even worse now. he had dragged Heero into his problems and now the other boy felt responsible for them. He moved close to Heero and wrapped his arms around him. "Heero..."

The Japanese youth lifted his head, looking into Duo's eyes. He couldn't see any of the emotions that he was afraid he'd find. Heero's arms came up from his sides and wrapped around the thin waste. He rested his head on Duo's shoulder. Words escaped him, Heero didn't know how to vocalize his thoughts.

He didn't want Duo to be upset, and he didn't want the other boy to leave him. "Duo...why?"

"Why what, Heero?" Duo asked, holding the other boy tight.

"What happened? You were fine at breakfast, what made you so upset?" Heero replied, sniffling and trying to calm his emotions.

Duo felt fresh pain shoot through him. Should he tell Heero the truth? He couldn't come up with anything else. "I, um, sort of.. interrupted a , um, private moment..."

Heero could feel the tension in Duo's body. The braided boy said he walked in on a private moment...Trowa. "Duo, was it Trowa?" The Japanese boy already knew the answer, feeling his heart crack.

Duo nodded miserably, unable to lie to Heero.

I knew it, Heero thought sadly. His hand grabbed the long braid of hair and began to toy with it, a sure sign of his distress. "You love him, don't you?" just asking the question sent thousands of needles piercing his heart.

"I don't know, Heero. I thought I did, but that was before he met Quatre, and before you came back into my life. " He looked at his best friend, heart breaking from the hurt he had put there. "I don't know."

Heero didn't know what to think, he couldn't control the multiple emotions racing through his body. Duo didn't know, but he still could love the other boy. Everything was changing, the Japanese boy could feel it. He wanted...he didn't know what he wanted.

Duo looked at Heero, and saw his childhood friend and a very sexy teenage boy at the same time. It was confusing to him, and he was still trying to heal the rupture in his heart that seeing Trowa with Quatre had caused. But he knew that being with Heero made him feel better.

Heero continued to play with the long rope of hair, still unsure what to say. If only the world would fade away, then he could be alone with the other boy forever. "Duo, want to go somewhere?"

"Where? Anywhere but my room, though..." Duo trailed off, once again fighting tears.

"Want to go into town? We could see a movie, or do something else," Heero said, his breath ghosting over the flesh of Duo's neck

"I'd like that, Heero," answered Duo, and let the cobalt-eyed boy help him up.

Heero pulled the braided boy to his feet, and took his hand. Quietly, he led them back towards the school. "I have to go back to my room and get my wallet."

"I... don't want to go back there, Heero!" Duo cried out, stopping suddenly.

Heero stopped and faced the other boy, he saw the tears threatening to fall again. Duo was terrified of going back to the dorm.

"Is it ok if I just stay here and wait for you? I know it's childish, but I just can't face it right now..." Duo whispered.

"Will you be okay? I don't want to leave you alone, Duo."

"I'll be fine. I'll sit right here. Just hurry, ok?" Duo sat down on a bench and looked up at Heero.

"Ok. I'll be right back." Heero then turned and ran towards the dorms, not wanting to leave the other boy alone for long.

Duo sat quietly, and watched Heero go into the dorms. His heart ached when the other boy left his sight.

Heero ran to his room and burst into his room. Quickly he picked up his wallet from the nightstand and left the room again. As he was closing the door, he heard two voices down the hall, recognizing one of them.

"Trowa..." sighed an unfamiliar voice. "That was amazing..."

"It was my little one." The taller boy said while wrapping his arms around the slender waist.

Quatre looked up as a vaguely familiar boy came around the corner.

Trowa looked up as well, wondering what caught Quatre's attention. He saw the boy from his first period class come around the corner.

Quatre thought the boy looked angry, and upset. He frowned. Did Trowa know him? He seemed to be heading right for the tall boy.

Heero's eyes narrowed upon seeing the person responsible for Duo's pain. He walked down the hall, trying his hardest not to run and punch the tall boy. He spared a glace at the small blonde boy by Trowa's side, envious of their closeness.

Trowa looked up to see Heero. He looked mad.

Quatre was the first to break the silence. "Hi! You're Heero, aren't you? I don't think we've met. I'm Quatre!" He held out his hand.

Heero glared at the offered hand, but shook it nonetheless. "Yes, I am." he replied in a monotone. These two were to blame for Duo's pain, he didn't want to be around them. Glared at Trowa, his glare bordered on hatred.

Trowa couldn't figure out why this boy seemed so angry at him. "You know Duo, don't you? Is he ok?"

Hearing his friends name coming from Trowa's lips nearly broke his control. A violent gleam entered his eyes as he continued his icy glare. "What would you care, if he was?" Finally Heero walked past them, he needed to get back to Duo.

Quatre watched him go. "What was all that about, Trowa?"

"I don't know, Quatre." Trowa watched as Heero disappeared down the hall. What did he mean by that? He thought. Duo was ok, right? Suddenly the taller boy began to worry again.

Duo looked up happily as Heero appeared. Then he noticed the other boy looked very angry.

The braided boy rose from his sitting position and walked towards the other boy. He could tell Heero was angry, his body was tense, and his eyes were twin glaciers. He began to worry, what happened?

"Heero? What's the matter? Are you ok?" Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's neck impulsively.

Heero didn't want Duo to know he ran into Trowa and Quatre, the braided boy was still crushed. "I'm fine, Duo." He wasn't lying, Heero was with Duo and the anger just faded away. His body began to relax, and he just enjoyed Duo hugging him. "Let's go?"

Duo rested his head on Heero's shoulder. "Mm, I could stay like this all night and I'd be happy," he said. "But I'll go with you anywhere!"

Heero was glad Duo couldn't see his face, or the blush that tinted his cheeks. The braided boy's words sounded like they had a double meaning, but Heero quickly pushed those thoughts aside. Duo needed to get his mind off of Trowa. "Come on," he said while taking Duo's warm hand and tugging him along.

Duo followed happily, clutching at Heero's hand. He was a very physical person, and he was glad Heero didn't mind him touching or hugging him in public. He had to admit he really liked hugging Heero... he was so strong...

+

Quatre looked up at Trowa. "Why was that boy so mad at you, Trowa?"

"I don't know, I haven't really done anything." The taller boy replied, still bothered by Heero's last statement to him.

They were walking down the hallway, heading for the library when they noticed a strange boy who seemed to be looking for someone.

The strange boy finally noticed Trowa and Quatre and walked over, "Hello, can we help you?" Trowa asked.

The boy looked at the two. "Yes, I'm searching for someone who is a new student here. His name is Heero Yuy. Do you know of him, please?"

"Yes, he just left about five minutes ago." Trowa replied, wondering why the boy seemed anxious to find Heero.

"Thanks so much! Do you know which his room is?"

Quatre looked at the boy. He was about his height, but with dark shoulder length hair and caramel skin. He seemed like he knew Heero well.

"Down the hall, next to the last on the left" Trowa said, "My name's Trowa, what's yours?" the tall boy extended his hand to the other boy.

Wufei shook Trowa's hand. "My name is Wufei. An old friend of Heero's. I just can't wait to see him again."

Quatre kept silent; his empathic sense told him that the two boys were more than friends. At least in this boy's mind.

"Well Wufei, we hope to see you around sometime. Quatre and I have other things to attend to." Trowa said, noticing the strange look on his koi's face.

"Oh, I intend to be here a while. Nice to meet you!" Wufei disappeared down the hall.

+

Duo clung to Heero's arm. He had had a great time, just being with Heero tonight. Heero was so nice to be with, he had almost forgotten...

"Heero? I don't want to go back to my room."

"You can stay in my room, Duo." he replied to the braided boy, happy that this perfect day didn't have to end. Duo's soft laughter still rang in his ears, sweet honey for the soul.

Duo smiled happily, and they went into Heero's room. Neither of them noticed the small square of paper attached to it.

"Um, Heero? I um, usually don't, um," Duo blushed, "Sleep in clothes... but I can just sleep in my boxers... is that ok?"

Heero's breathing stopped for just an instant, the mental image that sprang to his mind was so hot. "That's fine, Duo," he said while pulling out a pair of spandex and a tank top, his favorite sleeping clothes.

Duo watched, wondering what Heero looked like in the spandex. He found himself looking forward to curling up next to the other boy. He pulled off his shirt.

From the corner of his eye, Heero watched as Duo's chest and abdomen were revealed. He watched the muscles stretch and wanted to glide his fingers across the smooth skin. Then he saw Duo's hands go to the waistband of his pants.

Duo looked up at Heero as he started to take off his pants. Heero was staring at him intently. The weight of the other boy's gaze made him feel hot. He slowly unzipped his pants, wondering what Heero was thinking.

Cobalt eyes were fixed on the metal zipper and it's slow, almost teasing, descent. Heero didn't know why he was openly staring at his best friend, but he just couldn't stop looking at the firm body. He could feel himself begin to harden.

Duo shivered. The two boys had undressed together countless times in the past. Why was this time different? He could almost feel Heero's gaze touch him as he unzipped his pants and hooked his fingers in the waistband of his jeans.

Heero could feel his blood heat, his skin was tingling. He knew what he wanted, but didn't want to take advantage of his friend. Duo had seen the person he thought he loved with another. Heero shook the thoughts from his head and walked towards his small bathroom; watching Duo had aroused him. "I'll be right back, just going to change and brush my teeth."

Heero entered the bathroom and leaned against the door. He was breathing heavily, and trying to calm is racing hormones. He couldn't take advantage of Duo, he'd be no better than Trowa.

Duo sat down on the bed, wondering why he was feeling this way. Was he just on the rebound? No, that wasn't it. He really did love Heero, always had, and maybe it had just changed a bit as they got older. Heero was gorgeous, and cared for him, and... Duo felt himself get aroused at the thought of lying next to Heero all night.

Heero stripped off his clothes and quickly pulled on the tank top and spandex. He didn't know if he could handle lying next to Duo all night long. He remembered all the times they had sleepovers, it never bothered him before. Heero knew he always had and always would love Duo and would protect him. I can do this, he thought to himself before opening the door.

Duo looked up at Heero as he came through the door, and tried not to drool. Heero looked amazing. The spandex clung to him and the tank top showed off his muscles. Duo wanted to be more than friends with Heero. He stood up and walked to stand close to Heero.

A soft gasp left Heero's lips as Duo walked towards him, his hand was still on the doorknob. He looked into the violet orbs, so open and deep. Heero took another shuddering breath as Duo's scent tickled his nose. His resolve was slipping fast.

"Heero?" Duo whispered, coming closer. "I... missed you all these years."

Heero pressed himself against the door, feeling Duo's breath ghost past his skin. He so wanted to taste the luscious lips. "I missed you too, Duo. I was so lonely..."

Duo pressed himself against Heero; he could feel the other boy's hardness and it made his own pulse. "We're together again, now..."

Heero felt the other boy's hardness rub against his, he tried to stop the small moan. Duo's lips were so close and tempting. He fought with his body for control. "after so long..." he whispered, breathlessly

Duo closed the remaining distance between them, and gently pressed his lips to Heero's. It felt so wonderful, so perfect, so right....

The moment was broken by a loud knock on the door.

Heero felt Duo's lips on his, it was so soft yet burning with desire. His eyes snapped open from the knock on his door, with a whispered apology he made his way to the door and flung it open.

Duo felt so alone when Heero went to answer the door. He looked at the door curiously. Who was visiting Heero this late?

Heero opened the door, and Duo watched as a dark-haired boy flung himself into Heero's arms, crying out, "Koi!" and kissing him passionately. Duo's world collapsed again, and he whimpered, "Kenji..."

Heero was about to yell at the person, but his mouth hung open as Wufei flung himself at him and cried out "Koi." Then the Chinese boy began to passionately kiss him. Heero was so surprised that he didn't push the other boy away, which made it seem like he was enjoying the kiss. He heard Duo whimper his name, so full of pain and rejection

Wufei was so happy to see Heero that he didn't even notice there was someone else in the room. Then he heard a whimper. He broke the kiss and looked around. There was a longhaired boy in boxers in Heero's room! "Who's that?" he snarled.

Duo just stood there, in shock. Just when we found each other....

Heero looked from Wufei to Duo, he didn't know what to say. His first lover picked a really bad time to pop up on him, "Duo.."

Duo whispered, "Heero? who's that?"

Wufei answered, "I'm Heero's lover. Who the fuck are you?"

Duo flinched from the venom in the other boy's tone. The words final hit him like a thousand tons. The tears fell down his eyes, once again. He ran towards the door, sobbing as his heart finally shattered beyond repair. "you lied....you promised you'd never hurt me....you're just like Trowa..." he cried before bolting down the hall.

+end part 7