Title: Little Bunny Heero (Magic Spells and Fairy Tales) Parts 1-3
Author: Dark Hilde aka Trio Maxwell, firstname.lastname@example.org & email@example.com
Archive: Sure, but ask first!
Warnings: *Limey-Lemons in rhyme within* AU? Yeah.
Cursing? Definitly. Relena & evil chibi bopping? Oh, Yes...
Silliness? Most likely. Rhymes? That's all it is. Nothing that will traumatize you, I hope. *_*;; Forgot to mention evil Quatre...
Pairings: Shounen ai/ Yaoi- 1x2, 4+3, 13+5
C+C please? (Is definitly serious here?)
Disclaimer: Gw= not mine, the original bunny rhyme= not mine, parody= mine.
Steal and Die by Airen's trigger happy ego....
Rants: I dunno, an Airen idea, I guess. 9-2-01, comtinued on 9-11-01 (WTCA).
Thinking of Chibis and the fun they have (or not)
This would be my longest poem/rhyme/whatever you think.
I decided on a name for the chapter, not something I do often:
Little Bunny Heero - Part 1
Little bunny Heero was hopping through the forest,
scooping up the Relena mice and bopping them on the head.
This was one of his favorite past times.
The chibi Relena mice would sputter and curse,
Quite squeaky and well versed,
For they were known world wide
for their 'pacifist' rhymes.
They wouldn't hurt a fly,
to do so one would die!
And so in protest they would bite their tounges with a verse
and a swat of a hat or a pretty pink purse.
Now, someone, sympathetic, of a higher decree,
Was watching this bunny and his evil deeds.
"Quite reckless, this case, but I must confess,
It would be fun, I dare say hard, to put this to the test!"
So the good fairy Quatre, with wand in hand,
took leave of his friend, the tall strong woodsman.
To seek out the bunny whom had wronged those poor mice,
determined to change him from naughty to nice.
Upon his arrival at little Heero's stump house,
he quickly realized, too late, that no one was about.
Frustrated and irritated, "What cheek!" he did say,
as from behind a tall oak tree, Bunny Heero did stray.
"And who are you to mumble and utter
something rude of me?" Heero muttered.
"Mind you your manners and pay attention.
I, good fairy Quatre, have a lesson, so listen!"
"And what business do you have with me?"
Heero wondered, "For you are a silly and bubbly fairy!"
"Little Bunny Heero,
I don't want to see you
scooping up the Relena mice
and bopping them on the head!
I will give you one more chance,
But if you mess it up,
I swear to you Heero, this won't be a bluff!
I'll huff and I'll puff
and with this magic wand,
I'll turn your tail from fluff
to a slimy froggy's butt!"
So Little Bunny Heero, with a hand to his chin,
turned from the fairy with an evil, dark grin,
"We'll see about that! So, catch me if you can!
Don't look now, but here comes your woodsman!"
And so as the tall unibanged man arrived,
Little Bunny Heero, with a wink and a dive,
slammed his wooden door, now locked from inside.
"How goes your luck, little one?" the man asked.
"Oh, Trowa, why's he such a difficult task?"
"Tomorrow I will watch him and if he goes astray,
I'll tell you, so you can rest for today."
"That is sweet of you. It's getting late."
The good fairy mused, "It will be dark soon.
And now tell me right, are my wings on straight?"
With a little adjustment and a peck on the cheek,
the couple retired to their home in the tree.
Then along came a prince,
of a glorious breed.
His hair was long and braided, his eyes wide and deep;
the violet of the starlight and blue of the seas,
came limping through the bushes and stumbling
for he'd hurt his leg in a poacher's trap
to catch a unicorn or other such crap.
The wound was deep and glowing with pain
and looking up, he knew it would rain.
Far from his home and abandoned by his steed,
the selfish black stallion
known as Deathscythe, "How Mean!"
He fell to the ground and clutching his knee,
leaned back on a stump and worried his teeth.
When along bounced a chibi, so small in size,
that when the prince saw it, he was startled, surprised.
"Hello, little one, do you know this place?
I've been lost here a while now and cannot make haste."
"Silly human!" The chibi cried and hopped on his boot,
"You don't know the first thing about chibis and loot!"
And with the cock of his head and smile on his mouth,
the chibi had stolen the gold from his pouch!
With a smirk and a wink, the chibi then said,
"Forget it Prince, You're better off dead!"
The chibi Wufei then turned and bounced away with a hop,
singing his theme song, "Let into top!"
"God Damn IT!" The prince cursed and kicked at a rock,
hurting his leg more, he gasped and said, "Fuck!"
He started, surprised, when he then felt a knock
coming from behind him, within the tree stump!
"Who goes there, cursing his lungs at my door?
Omae o korosu and you'll curse no more!"
Shifting away, the prince then looked down
at a small door that burst open, not an inch from the ground.
"What right have you to sit on my house?"
Little Bunny Heero glared the prince down.
"I'm sorry, Sir Bunny, for my sad mistake.
It will not happen again. I am lost, I'm afraid."
"That's none of my concern!" Bunny Heero said,
"It's people like you that never learn!"
The prince, with a nod, cradled his knee.
"What's this? Blood? You're hurt, I see..."
"I was caught in a trap, a woodsman's trick."
"Come inside. I'll clean it up. No use getting sick."
"But how will I fit through, the door is so small?"
"Simple, see?" Heero replied and he pressed a button on the
and the stump opened up,
a huge, gaping hole on top.
"I've got carrots and muffins,
all else is rotten."
"You don't have to feed me too."
"I'm your host. Get a clue."
And so, once fixed up, and settled in place,
in a luxurious tunnel with a grand living space,
the Prince did eat Carrots with honey
and slept in the guest room
while Little Bunny Heero
snuck out to bop chibis soon.
So again Bunny Heero
was hopping throught the forest,
Scooping up the chibis
and bopping them on the head.
He caught a Wufei,
and, being surprised,
tossed it away.
Those little devils bite!
"How dare you!" He said, and shaking his paw,
wiggled his ears, cursing his flaw.
"You bit me, you sneak!"
"You bopped my head, fool!
Next time you try it,
I'll steal your loot, too!"
"Why, you little thief!
You'll do no such thing!
If Little Bunny Heero isn't my name!"
With death-glare affixed
in the chibi's direction,
Bunny Heero hopped
and scooped up his victim.
With a venemous smile
and a thunderous POW!
Chibi Wufei found himself
neck deep in the ground!
Little Bunny Heero picked up the gold
that chibi Wufei earlier had stold,
And waltzing away with booty in hand,
smiled to himself as life was so grand!
But upon arrival at his homely tree stump,
The good fairy Quatre fluttered down,
landing with a thump.
"I gave you a chance, Little Bunny Heero.
You've wasted your life
by bopping chibis,
what gave you the right?!"
With a wave of his wand and a sparkling light,
Little Bunny Heero turned green with fright!
And, not moments later, to his surprise,
A froggy he was, with big yellow eyes!
He turned to the fairy,
"How could you? Scoundrel! I'll make you pay!
I WILL NOT be a FROG for the rest of my days!"
With a shrug of his slim shoulders
and a twitch of his wings,
Quatre smiled, "There is but one way to be redeemed.
If you find a soul of pureness and light,
a prince or princess
can set things right!"
With a flutter of wings he was off once again,
thinking once more of his tall, strong woodsman.
Turning to see the Little Froggy Heero once more,
He grinned and watched the slam of the stump door.
No more worries there, he guessed,
and musing to himself, who would he turn next?
Ah, yes, there was a Griffon named Treiz down the way,
who seduces chibi Wufeis and carries them away.
Waving his wand, he hurried on,
smiling at the nice little Relena mice, who huffed,
sticking out their pink tongues and brushing him off.
"Who are you?" Asked the prince upon Heero's arrival,
"Are you a friend of Sir Bunny? Where is he, do you know?"
"I'm the Little Froggy Heero, born just today.
You are in my home, by the way."
"But this is Little Bunny's house,
You are wrong, I must say.
Especially since you are born just today."
"A fairy has cursed me. I was once the Bunny
who invited you in for carrots and honey."
"If this is so, then tell me, please,
of such punishment, for what deed?"
"I bopped a chibi and stole his gold.
That's bad, I have been told.
And so now this is a frog's humble abode."
"What use has a chibi for gold, I must ask?
I had all mine stolen by a Wufei, that brat!"
"Hn." Froggy Heero sighed,
ribbeting as he showed off his prize.
"My gold!" The prince exclaimed.
"Why, Heero, what a feat!
It is about time someone trampled on HIS feet!"
"You want it? Take it, but grant me a wish."
"I owe you already. So, what is your wish?"
"I was told that a prince can return me my form.
Do this for me and the gold is then yours."
"Most enchantments are healed by royalty's kiss.
Hold still now, Froggy, I will give you this...."
And so leaning down for a peck on the lips,
the handsom prince kissed him then smiled at this;
the froggy, now blushing, had faintly turned red,
his skin then did lighten and change on his hand.
Pale and thinning, the figure did change,
he grew big and then taller, dark hair on his head.
The prince backed up, for he was in the way.
As the froggy turned human, yelping, he said,
"What have you done! What am I now?
My body is bigger, my ears are too small!
I'm a human, a HUMAN! A man, oh so tall!
How could you trick me!?
After I took you in!
Bopping chibi's can't be that big of a sin!"
Taken aback by the unexpected,
the prince curled up on the bed and reflected,
"It might be a problem I hadn't seen first...
That an enchanted frog becomes a prince
If royalty breaks the curse!"
Gasping, the naked boy then replied,
"What am I to do? I'm a bunny, no prince!
That EVIL fairy LIED!"
Quatre, meanwhile, had gone over the way
to look into the incident with the chibi Wufeis.
Upon reaching the Griffon's magnificent throne,
He realized, once again, nobody was home.
What a job, what a life,
the fairies do strive
to set wrongs made right
and keep order in life.
Quite a maze was this dwelling,
taking up such a task
as finding the Griffon
and evading his traps,
the many trap doors,
the good fairy did find
upon closer inspection
a harem of chibis,
a dozen or more,
who adored his attention.
Among whom was one
with a bruise on his head
and his tiny little body
was curled up in bed.
"What happened, little one?"
The good fairy did ask.
"I got bopped by a Bunny.
Then swarmed by Relena rats."
The little chibi replied,
"If not for the Griffon,
I could have died.
Those Relena pests are a pain in the neck
an exterminator, I thought, we really should get."
"Why, that can't be!" The fairy sighed
and turned to the harem, of which all replied:
"Yeah! It's true!"
"Saw with my own eyes!"
"A chibi Wufei, you know, never lies!"
"But what of the rumors
of the evil Griffon
Who steals away chibis,
kidnapped by his minnions?
I have come here to save you.
Turn him to a frog
and you will be safe,
"This just isn't right!"
The chibis did cry
upon their 'rescue'
by Quatre that night.
"I don't understand.
This Griffon is bad.
He kidnapped you chibis
and terrorized the land!"
"Not true! Not true!"
"He gave us nice dinner!"
"The food here is great!"
"He's the kind of guy
you just can't hate!"
"I got an invite!"
"He treats us real nice!"
"Ties back our hair pretty!"
"He's not a bad guy!"
"Yeah, nice guy!"
'Well, Darn it' The good fairy Quatre thought,
'I wanted to play today, how off...then again,
maybe next time I'll find a new game,
If the Good Fairy Quatre isn't my name....'
Returning home to his house in the tree,
the good fairy Quatre resigned for the evening
and leaning his head on the tall woodsman's lap
the good fairy Quatre curled up for a nap....
Back at the stump there was quite an uproar
as the now human Heero stormed out his front door
He would find that damn fairy
if it was the last thing he did!
Then it hit him, too late,
he was still stark naked.
"Oi, Heero, what'cha doin'?"
The other prince asked,
nibbling on his braid with a smirk he hid fast.
"You can't go round naked as a jay bird,
what would those fairies think you'd deserve!"
Turning and daring the one to reply,
Heero stormed off, his curses reaching the sky.
Little Bunny Heero - Part 2
Now Heero was a mean brute
if you got on his bad side
and as he thundered through the trees
the wildlife did hide.
Following behind him,
gentle in his pace,
the good prince did advise him
not so quickly to give chase
and that when the fairy returned
he could have his hellbent way
and rip him limb from limb,
for there was hell to pay!
"Listen to me carefully."
The good prince did say
"No good will come of this right now
while the fairy is away.
Let's stop back at my castle.
I'm sure that I could find
some clothing that will fit
your nice rounded behind."
And so they found a trail
that took them to a lake
and beyond this was a village
which the prince could not mistake,
and so to the castle nearby
they did find their way.
Upon entering the throne room,
Duke Dermail had to say;
"Why, Prince, you have returned to us!
And who is this you bring?
A wild boy of the forest?
Was he from a fairy ring?"
At these words Heero growled
and stomped his foot in anger
"I ain't no pixie boy!
I'm not no Fairy TOY!
You think that since you're older
you'd learn to mind your manners!
The name's Little Bunny Heero,
once turned into a frog,
and by that twist of wicked fate,
as a human I am stuck!"
"Now what a situation!
I can't believe my eyes!
Young prince, you say
this is a frog, nay,
a bunny in disguise?!"
"Something like that."
Says the prince while he nibbles his braid.
"You know, come to think of it,
we need to change his name.
Little Bunny Heero,
just doesn't fit the bill.
But, what else can we call him
except for Heero, still?"
"Heero will do nicely,
and little I am not.
About those clothes you mentioned
of any that will fit
so I can walk around decent
and then get my revenge!"
"Yeah, yeah, that's all you think about.
Quatre, though, can wait.
Tonight you'll spend within these walls
safe from cruel fate."
And so clothed in a green tanktop
and spandex with much space,
Heero toured the castle walls
and stayed for dinner late.
They supped in princely fashion
on all that tasted good,
and upon request by Heero,
they had some carrots too.
Many a carrot did he eat,
many that tasted good.
He said, "Why, what a treat!"
and munched down all he could.
Someone hung the moon up high
shiny and full it was
so they retired with a sigh
went to their rooms because
they were very tired from the day.
But, human Heero lost his way.
He wandered on and through the night,
the halls he'd seen before,
for it had been a grand tour
but neither door was right.
So choosing was a frightful task
and turning with a yawn,
he opened one,
intent to hit the sack.
He closed the door
and shed his clothes,
too restricting did they seem.
He crossed the floor
and yawned once deep
thinking of a dream for sleep.
But, as he curled upon the bed
something strange he felt
a long soft rope of chestnut hair
connected to a head
belonging to a certain prince
who slumbered in this bed.
His face was pale in the moonlight
that drifted through the glass.
He breathed in light
and exhaled soft,
hugged his pillow tight.
Oh, what a sight!
For in all his life,
he'd never seen
a beauty such as this
laying naked in the moonlight.
there'd never been
a sweeter tasting kiss.
He'd stolen from those lips
a taste of honey, sugar sweet,
and as he pulled back for air,
their fluttering eyes did meet.
He thought he'd get it then, he did,
he thought he was dead meat
but as the prince gazed into his eyes
his own heart skipped a beat.
Ascending fast to meet his lips
the prince did hold him closely
and slipping through, their tongues entwined
a dance of passion's kind
for in this glow,
a warmth supreme,
from which no one knows
but in their dreams.
He rocked him gently
in his arms
and lit the fire
with all the charm
the gentle prince could master
and with every touch
and each new kiss
their rhythm became faster.
Thus as they rode upon the clouds
and heaven they did find
a magic like no other had
embraced their bodies tight
a sweet perfume of rose and June
and senses once so sharp and fine
were shattered beyond hope
the world collapsed around their space
but neither one could care
for they were lost in ecstasy
of pleasure beyond compare.
And as the morning sun did rise
as all suns tend to do
they kissed each other tenderly
and swore their love was true.
In this resolve they did decide
it really didn't matter
that Heero be returned again
to Little Bunny stature.
But revenge is sweet
and as they planned
an evil scheme or two
they paused but momentarily
and wondered what to do
to get back at the fiendish fairy.
"I do suppose that we could clean
the woods of all his kind
those fairies are quite picky
about where they reside
we must do this quickly
before he can hide!"
The prince did pause to think
and then he did speak,
"Up in the trees
and flying on the wind
what force would we
what army could we send?"
"I really, though, must thank him first
for this plague, for this curse,
for without this, 'we' would not have been.
But justice must be served.
Let's get that little turd."
Little Bunny Heero - Part 3
Good Fairy Quatre
woke to a commotion
and thought he had better
follow his notion
and get his pretty wings in motion,
for upon the land
an ocean grand-
'twas an ocean of Dorothys
that were chibis
with fork-split eyebrows
mean as mad cows,
all out for fairy blood
for their potion.
"War, War, War!"
up to the woodsman's door.
Poor Quatre did faint,
for their perfume was rank,
and so the Dorothy chibis
carried him off
with a huff and a puff
to places reserved and unknown
far, far from the fairy's home.
When Trowa awoke,
he thought it a joke,
the note drawn in jelly of grape-
that was pinned to his door
with a very large thorn
and dripped on the floor
and really, really stank,
"FrOm DoroThy CHIBIS:
StEaL hIm bAcK,
froM US, yOu Can,
bUt LIsten tO OUr wOrds:
YoU, wOodsman sTronG,
wiTh banGs So lOng,
mUst Do us A serVice iN traDe.
On ToP Of the MouNtaiN,
BeNeatH thE SEa,
SitS a TrEasUre of GUNDaM,
FivE GreAt MAchinEs.
FetCh TheSe foR uS,
With LITTlE to No fUsS,
AnD we'lL Give You yOuR FaiRy.
If NoT thEn be waRy
For WE haVe a WinG OR
two HerE tO PlucK
AnD With AnY lUck,
Our POtiOn wiLL Be COmplEtE--
We'LL MakE oUr PerFume
With yOur RottEn FaiRy FeEt!"
Now Trowa was a reasonable one
and he knew that he
could never do
this task alone.
And thinking of
his allies, few,
he didn't know
just what to do
or how much ground to cover
to save his fairy lover
from the clutches of the stinky
little Dorothy chibis!
Meanwhile in a far off land,
where travelers are few,
Heero and the Prince
knew just what to do-
to get revenge for Heero's fate,
little did they know
that they were way too late.
Now the Hilde chibis
were a rotten bunch
and made such a fuss
But Heero thought
they would suffice
if upon the chance
that they were right
and once could get them
in contact with
the Hydra known as
"Une the Quick"--
with multiple personalities
to match each different head,
who could cast her spells
inflicting all sorts of dreaded
on little fairies.
His prince had mentioned
this army of Hildes
who lived in the valley
where volcanoes still sleep
and upon their arrival
they spied one at last
as it ran from a Zechsfly,
strawberry in hands,
and screeching loudly
as she ran past
she ducked for cover really fast.
"Hold it!" The good Prince did command,
for he was the ruler of this land.
The Hilde chibi, obnoxious,
ignored his order
and ran like the wind
behind a tall boulder.
The Zechsfly, meanwhile,
paused in his flight,
this prince in sight.
"Help me catch her!"
Zechs said as he buzzed his wings,
"And you'll get a reward
for helping me!"
The prince did agree,
and grabbing his scythe,
sliced throught the boulder
which Hilde was under.
"Eep!" she screeched,
and hopped all about
but Heero, much faster,
had pounced then to catch her.
The Zechsfly, overjoyed,
buzzed all around
and grabbing the strawberry
up off the ground,
disappeared to the south.
"What a rotten trick!"
Said the Prince
at the Zechsfly's departure.
"At least we got the Hilde---
Don't SQUISH HER!"
"Let me go, you meanie!
I'm a defenseless CHIBI!"
cried the little Hilde chibi.
"Yeah, that's right.
Just what Relena said.
Give us what we want
and you won't end up dead!"
Heero threatened, squeezing her tight.
"Ah, Ok! All right! All RIGHT!"
The Hilde gasped,
"What do you want,
you giant ass!?"
Heero, now pissed,
since he'd been dissed,
made a motion to 'BOP' her
but his prince intervened,
said it wasn't proper,
told him not to be mean,
That his ass was just right,
(as he'd find out that night...)
and to ask the Hilde instead
just where the Hydra lived....
TBC-We're going camping!
Airen: WOO HOO! *grabs gear*
Dark: NOT US- *points* THEM!
Duo: *snicker* Hehe...