7-29-2003

Title: The Say Series
Author: DamnVespa
Pairings: 1+2 (friendship)
Category: Angst, Alternating POV
Notes: This came to me one night…I swear I was just laying down trying to sleep when this idea came to me.
Warnings: Angst, and unrequited love, a little OOC
Disclaimer: I don't own the GW characters…but I own the story…I think… *grins*

"speaking"
<thoughts>

 

Chapter 1: What I want to say (Heero's POV)

He's smiling at me again. I really want to smile back but the soldier inside of me doesn't allow me to. We're currently at the mall and he is running around the place like an energetic child. Which only endears him more to me. He is standing there, his eyes glowing with impish glee. His mouth turned up in a genuine smile

"Hey Heero, can we go into the toy store?"

"Hn. Baka"

<Hai, Duo.> That is what I want to say but the soldier speaks for me. Dr. J knew what he was doing when he conditioned me. Unfortunately when I want to shut it off, I can't. Don't get me wrong, I'm trying but it hasn't been going well. There are so many things I want to tell Duo.

I have to bear the hurt look he shoots at me whenever I decline doing something with him or when I'm being heartless and cruel. I have to hand it to the bastard, he trained me well.

There are so many things I want to tell him…

"Hey Heero, gotta mission. Be back in several days."

"Hn."

<Please be careful. >

"Want to play another game of basketball?"

"No."

<I would do anything you ask. >

"You're my best friend, right Heero?"

"Friends are liabilities."

<Aishiteru Duo. >

Chapter 2: What I won't say… (Duo's POV)

There he is, standing there off to the side gazing coldly at everyone. `The Perfect Soldier' is in the house. He tries to hide in the crowd but it's nearly impossible for him. He stands out like a sore thumb, with his deep blue eyes and his chocolate colored hair, which is continually messy. That combined with a body of a god and you got Heero Yuy, gundam pilot.

Unfortunately for yours truly I fell head over heels for him, but I won't tell him. I know for a fact he's straight as an arrow. You should see his girlfriend, Relena Peacecraft. I guess she's cute in a kittenish sort of way. But personally I don't see how he can stand the girl but whatever makes him happy.

I have to be very careful with what I say around him. I'm always afraid I'll slip and say something I shouldn't. I've had a few close calls but he didn't seem to notice. And for that I'm grateful. I shudder to think if he ever finds out how I really feel for him. I don't think I would survive the experience.

There are so many things I won't say to him.

"Heero you want my water?"

<Can I kiss you?>

"No."

"Come on man, don't sit here, go out there and dance."

<Dance with me.>

"Hn."

"Best Friends, right Heero?"

<I love you.>

"Friends are liabilities."

 

Chapter 3: I will say… (Heero's POV)

Finally there is real peace in the world. Wing is completely destroyed and so is the soldier. I don't need him anymore. Granted the conditioning is still there but I'm in control of it now. I won't let it or anything else rule my life. I've never felt freer and now I have to search for the one person I've wanted since the beginning.

I walk into the huge ballroom, just as the party started. Quatre and Relena have teamed up together to hold a grand party. The minute I walk into the room politicians and other people who all want to meet a gundam pilot surround me. I try to politely move my way through the ever-thickening crowd. Finally, I get to a shaded side of the ballroom and people start drifting away and leaving me alone. All for the better, now I can search for Duo.

And it's as if someone heard my thoughts because I finally catch a glimpse of him. He's on the dance floor with Sally. I see him talking to her and she laughs at something he said. Then he looks off to the side, away from me. I look and find Wufei standing there watching them dance. Even from my vantage point I can tell Wufei very much wants to go out there and dance with Sally, but something is holding him back.

I make my way towards him while he watches Duo and Sally. It takes a few minutes and some shoving but I finally reach his side. He looks over and his eyes widen when he notices me standing there.

"Yuy?"

"Hello Wufei. Why are you here and not out there dancing like you want to be."

Wufei smiled a little and looked away, "Always to the point. Right Yuy?"

"Yes."

We stayed in silence for a few minutes before Wufei got around to answering my question.

"I feel it's not right for me to be out there. Actually I feel I shouldn't be here at all. I don't even know why I was invited."

"Because we have all forgiven you, Wufei. We wanted you here with us. I understand, probably better than most, why you did what you did. I have no ill will towards you."

Wufei looked at me in shock and I smiled in return. He then slowly shook his head, "You'll never cease to amaze me Yuy."

"So are you going to go out there and dance with Sally?"

"I'll go if you go dance with Maxwell."

Now it was my turn to be shocked. I thought I had kept it hidden from everyone, "How?"

"The three of us knew you liked Maxwell, it was just Maxwell who never knew."

I had to chew on that for a few minutes. The three of them knew about my feelings for Duo maybe even before I really knew them. Wufei was patiently waiting for me to say something but all I could muster was an, "Oh."

Wufei smiled, "Well then shall we?"

I decided to put those thoughts on the back burner. Right now I had more important things in mind.

"Yes we shall."

We made our way out onto the dance floor. Wufei walked over to Sally and tapped her on the shoulder. There was some quiet murmuring and then they were off dancing. Duo smiled after them then turned towards me. He was surprised for a second but then smiled beautifully at me.

"Do you want to dance?" he asked.

A year ago, I would have ignored this or worse, shun him but now I don't.

"Yes, I would love to."

He's surprised and I smile slightly which makes his eyes widen more. I take control of the situation and grasp his hand. We start to waltz around the ballroom. Duo finally comes out of the stupor and smiles brightly at me. I can't help but smile back at him.

"So Heero where are you going to go now?"

"Wherever you are going. If that's okay with you?"

Duo looks shocked again and has stopped mid dance.

"Wha…why?"

I take a deep breath and release it slowly. The time is right and I will say what I need to say.

"I love you, Duo."

Duo faints.

 

Chapter 4: I can say… (Duo's POV)

The wars are finally over and I couldn't be happier and more upset. I went down to find Heero after he blew a hole in the hideout Marimaia and Dekim Barton were using. I could hear my heart shatter when I found Heero lying in Relena's arms. I knew this would eventually happen but it still didn't stop the hurt I felt. So I did what I always do, I ran.

I ran back to my gundam and took off. I didn't know where I was going but I just had to get away. I hid my gundam in a dense forest and tried to forget how I felt for Heero. I didn't leave my gundam for a couple of days. The only reason I left was because Quatre and Trowa found me and yanked me out of it. They took me to where they were staying and helped clean me up. After staying in a gundam for three days, I was pretty nasty.

When I felt clean again, Quatre kept nagging me to tell him what was wrong. After only an hour of nagging I caved. I just couldn't keep it inside anymore. So I told him the whole story. He just listened and it felt good to get everything off my chest. We sat in silence after I was through then finally he said, "Duo, either you tell Heero or you don't. It's your decision to make, just make sure it's a decision you can live with."

Then he left. I thought about what he said for the better part of the day. I knew I was running away because I feared Heero's reaction, but if I run away now I would be running all my life. That's when I decided, that no matter how scared I was I wasn't going to run away. I would stand and tell Heero how I felt even if he killed me.

The party was in full swing and I was having a grand time with Sally. I had already met Wufei earlier and told him that I had forgiven him. He was surprised but I knew he would be. I just smiled sincerely at him then escorted Sally to the dance floor.

I danced with Sally through two songs and could tell that Wufei wanted to come out and dance with her but something was holding him back. I didn't know how to get him to come out to the dance floor either. I tried to think up ways to get Wufei to come out here and cut in, but I was coming up with nothing.

Then I saw a hand come up and tap Sally on the shoulder. We stopped and looked at Wufei. He bowed slightly and took Sally's hand, "May I cut in?"

I smiled and gave him Sally's other hand and watched them dance. I turned around and found two piercing blue eyes on me. I was a little surprised but I smiled as I recognized Heero. I walked towards him and offered him my hand. Even if he does refuse, I will just tell him here.

"Want to dance?"

I look at him hopefully, but knowing it will be just like other times and he'll say no.

"Yes."

I stood frozen to the spot. Did he just say yes? I can't believe it. Oh my god…he's smiling at me. He looks so beautiful like that. Before I know it I'm dancing with him. I can't believe he actually said yes. Maybe he does have feelings for me even though that is a little too much to hope for. But finally, I can say what I wanted to say for a while now and not be afraid that he'll beat me to a bloody pulp. I open my mouth to confess to him but instead, "So Heero where are you going to go now?" pops out.

I mentally slap myself for chickening out. I steel up enough courage to tell him what I want to say. As I open my mouth to speak, he says something first.

"Wherever you're going. If that's okay with you?"

I froze in shock at what he was implying. It takes a few minutes for my mouth to catch up to what my brain is trying to say. Then finally when I do speak, I stutter.

"Wha…why?"

"I love you."

I can't believe he beat me to it. Wait! He said he loved me. ME! LOVED ME! Oh my…oh my…This is just too much…

 

Epilogue: Say It Again

Duo groaned as he rolled over. `Man what hit me?' He asked himself as he slowly sat up. He looked around slowly and realized he wasn't in the ballroom anymore. First, he was on a bed and second he could still hear the noise from the ballroom although it was muffled. He looked closely at the room and realized he was in one of Quatre's many rooms.

He sat there for a few minutes slowly taking breaths, trying to orient himself further when his memories came rushing back to him. Heero had told him that he loved him. His breathing became rapid and he quickly scanned the room looking for Heero. But there was no sign of him. He sighed loudly and laid down on the bed, "Was it all a dream?"

"Was what all a dream?"

Duo jumped and turned towards the door. The door was open and Heero leaned against the doorjamb with his arms crossed on his chest. Duo didn't even hear the door open.

Duo swallowed and looked at him questioningly, "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" There was a hint of hurt in his voice.

"I remember dancing, and then I found you. We started to dance and you said you would go anywhere I would go. Then you said you…l…l…l…"

"I love you."

Duo gulped, "Yeah that. Do you mean it?"

Heero smiled and moved towards the bed. He sat down on the bed and gently cupped Duo's face with his hands. He moved his face closer to Duo's and when his mouth was barely inches away from Duo's, he said, "Yes."

Then he closed the small distance, and kissed him chastely on the lips. Nothing more than a brush of lips. Heero started to pull back when Duo grabbed his head and pushed them back together. He kissed Heero fiercely. Heero's hands moved from Duo's face to Duo's hair and gripped it gently. Duo swiped his tongue against Heero's lip, silently asking permission. Heero opened his mouth and Duo's tongue slipped inside.

They kissed deeply for a while before they had to pull away for air. Heero was still holding onto Duo's hair while Duo had grabbed Heero's shirt. Both didn't want to let go of the other. Heero looked at Duo and felt a sliver of unease. Duo hadn't said anything back to him. Even though the kiss should have made the unease go away, it didn't. He needed to hear the words as well.

Duo seeing the unease asked, "What's wrong Heero?"

"Do…do you….l…l..love me?"

Duo grinned and caressed Heero's check, "I was going to tell you this but you beat me to the punch. I love you Heero."

Heero smiled gently at him, "Say it again."

"I Love you."

"Aishiteru."

THE END