3-30-2003

Title: The Happy Hentai Cruise
Author: DamnVespa
Parts: 1-2/ ?
Pairings: 1x2, 3x4, 5xwhoever
Category: Humor Warnings: none…it's for fun
Disclaimer: I don't own GW (but I can hope right?) Also I don't own the people I mention (ie Ariel, Farooq and Bradshaw….She's an author and agreed to be in this…Farooq and Bradshaw are two of her favorite wrestlers…*grins*)
Archive: 1x2ml, DHML, Mediaminer.org and Gundam Wing Universe (as soon as its back up)

Author's notes: Alright...alert to all authors or Fanartists...if you want to be in this fic please email me...In your email give me your nickname or penname, physical traits (what you look like), Mental traits (how you react and how you think) and anything else you believe is pertinent...*grins*

Well hope you enjoy and please send feedback...

The Happy Hentai Cruise
by DamnVespa

The next day found the five bishounen at the docks looking at the massive cruise liner in front of them. The lights on the docks were still on even as the sun started its slow ascent into the sky. Duo leaned onto Heero's shoulder, resting his head in the crook of Heero's neck and sleeping. Heero held onto Duo around the waist to make sure he didn't fall flat on his face. Quatre yawned and leaned into Trowa who in turn leaned into Quatre. Wufei stood wide awake and looked in trepidation at the cruise liner.

It was relatively quiet except for the creaking of the ropes and the waves gently splashing the docks. It was disturbed when Wufei spoke up, "I can't believe we're even here. This is an injustice. Nataku save me…" he looked at Duo, who had been awoken by the tirade, "this is all your fault."

"Wufei, shut up. We need the money. Besides you agreed to come," Trowa calmly stated. Wufei scowled and was about to respond when a limo pulled up behind them. Heero almost panicked until he realized the limo was black and not pink. They stood and waited for whoever was in the limo to get out. The door finally opened and out stepped Zechs Merquise and he wasn't happy to say the least.

He took one look at the boys standing there in shock and groaned. Four guns and one katana were suddenly pointed directly at Zechs. Zechs stood quietly and to the side of the door. Then Treize Khushrenada stepped out of the limo. Once he was out and they had gathered their belongings from the trunk, the limo took off. They stood there looking at each other. The pilots didn't put their guns away and looked around them, fearing a trick.

"What are you doing here?" Duo growled.

"Probably the same as you." Sneered Zechs.

"And that would be?"

"Oz needs money and we decided this would be the fastest way. Besides there's supposed to be hot guys here." Treize said while licking his lips. Four of the pilots grimaced and took a step back while Wufei flushed.

They didn't notice the girl on the ramp coming down from the liner until she cleared her throat. They turned as one and looked at her. She looked to be in her early twenties with brown hair and eyes. She was tall and slim wearing jeans and a black shirt. Two small blue stud earrings were in her ears. Her hair was short and fell into her face and she reached up to push it behind her ear.

To her right stood another girl with long down brown hair flowing down her back. She also had brown eyes but she was dressed totally different from the other one. This one had on dark brown leather plants that accentuated her body. Her tight v-neck t-shirt showed off her cleavage as well. Behind her stood two huge men. One had long dark brown hair and a goatee to match. He had huge muscles and stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest. He had a tan but you could tell he was white. The other man was black and a little shorter than the other but he was just as well muscled. He was in a similar pose.

The girl with short brown hair stepped forward, "Hi and welcome to the Happy Hentai Cruise. You must be the bishounen for this trip. What I need all of you to do is to tell me your name and nickname you would like used. Is that alright with you?"

The seven bishounen nodded their heads and she smiled, "Good, you may call me by my nickname DamnVespa. Everyone on board this ship will have a codename or nickname they go by. It's for their own protection and as well as your protection."

The seven bishounen looked confused by that statement but DamnVespa didn't let them think too long on it. She walked up to Heero, "Name and Nickname?"

Heero didn't want to answer but a painful prod in the ribs from Duo changed his mind. "Heero Yuy, Perfect soldier."

She smiled and went down the row.

"Duo Maxwell, Shinigami."

"Quatre Raberba Winner, Desert Prince."

"Trowa Barton, Silent Clown."

Then there was a silence. DamnVespa rose an eyebrow at Wufei and waited. Trowa swatted his arm and Wufei glared at him but he answered, "Chang Wufei, Dragon."

She smiled gratefully at Trowa and moved down the line. She heard a quiet `Onna' from Wufei but chose to ignore it for the time being. She then stood in front of Zechs and Treize and smiled, "Hello, welcome back you two. We always love it when bishounen return."

Zechs blushed while Treize grinned widely.

"Why thank you my lady."

DamnVespa blushed but soon composed herself and waited with her pen poised above the piece of paper. Zechs sighed and said, "Zechs Merquise, Lightening Count."

"Treize Khushrenada." Treize stopped for a minute and then asked, "Do you think I should change my nickname?"

She thought about it a minute, "Hmm…I think so. I'm kind of tired calling you the Rose Prince …how about Playboy?"

"Whatever sounds good to you."

DamnVespa smiled wickedly and started scribbling madly. Treize looked vaguely frightened and took a step closer to Zechs, "Why do I have the sudden feeling that I shouldn't have said that."

DamnVespa tried to look innocent but failed terribly. She grinned at them all and handed the list to the other girl standing behind her.

"Well let me introduce you to my partner. This young woman next to me is Ariel."

Ariel stepped forward and said, "Hi." Then she looked Duo over and winked at him. Duo smiled politely but moved closer to Heero. Heero glared at her and wrapped his arm around Duo's waist. The glare didn't affect her in the slightest and she looked him over as well. Heero glared harder at her but she just smiled.

DamnVespa smiled and went on with the introductions, "and the two men behind her are her personal guard. She loans them to us during this cruise to protect the bishounen from crazed fans. Don't worry they do their job very well we have never had one molested bishounen yet and we don't plan to. The tall white man is named Bradshaw and the other one is Farooq. Get used to them, they'll be rooming in the same area as you seven. Now I'll take you on board and explain to you the rules and regulations. Oh and if you have any problems, you talk to either Ariel or me and we'll try and sort things out. Okay?"

The seven bishounen nodded their heads and she smiled. DamnVespa and Ariel went on ahead and the seven bishounen followed them up with the two bodyguards trailing behind them.

Part 2:

After the pilots and the two Oz officials were situated in their rooms, Ariel and DamnVespa went to their office and rested. DamnVespa sighed as she sat in her comfy chair and lazily spun in a circle. Ariel just leaned back on the couch staring dazedly at the ceiling.

"You know I think this will be the most productive cruise yet. Just looking at them gave me at least 5 ideas for stories. How about you?"

"Well I got a lot of ideas mainly focused on the one named Duo or as I like to call him Du."

DamnVespa sighed, "You've already have a nickname for him?"

"Not like you don't have one either."

"Well you got me there. Well let's get down to business. How many people signed up for this year's cruise?"

Ariel got up from the couch and went to the file cabinet and took out a folder, overflowing with papers. She reached in and took off the top paper and set the folder aside, "Out of the 2040 passengers we could have, we have 2020 (1) people including our bishounen."

DamnVespa smiled, "That's great. I can't wait until they see this year's bishounen."

Ariel smiled then looked at the clock on the wall, "Damn Vespa we have to get out there now or we'll be late greeting the passengers."

DamnVespa grabbed the folder and they both headed off to meet the passengers.

The seven bishounen and the two bodyguards were sitting in a main room. There were four doors leading to the separate bedrooms. Wufei stood in the corner trying to keep as far away from Zechs and Treize as possible. He recalled with clarity what had happened just minutes before.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Flashback~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~

"Now this is the main room. You can come out here and relax only you seven and the two bodyguards are allowed back here. With the obvious exception of Ariel and I.. Now these four doors lead to the bedrooms. Two per bedroom, " DamnVespa stated.

"Wait a minute, there's an odd number of people here. Just where am I going to sleep?" Wufei asked.

DamnVespa looked puzzled for a moment then realized the predicament, "Oh I'm sorry. We're used to having even numbers in the past. We didn't take into account this time. Hmm…Ariel is there any other place we could place Mr. Chang?"

Ariel thought it over and then smirked evilly, "Not that I can think of. I guess he's just going to have to share."

Wufei sputtered and turned red in anger. Treize and Zechs smirked at each other. Treize moved forward, "He can share with me and Zechs."

Wufei's jaw dropped and he blushed as he stared in shock at Treize and Zechs.

"Is that okay with you Zechs?" DamnVespa asked.

"Perfectly okay."

"Anyone else have any problems. Good. Wufei, you sleep with Treize and Zechs." Then DamnVespa went on about the rules. She didn't give Wufei time to object and when he finally figured out what happened he was angry.

"Onna!"

DamnVespa turned to him, "Yes?"

Wufei turned even redder, "Onna! I demand another room. I will not room with those two…two…kisamas!"

"Well I did ask if anyone had a problem and no one did. So your room is settled. Sorry but this is how things are run. Now on with the rules and regulations."

DamnVespa started talking and Wufei stalked to the corner and sat out the rest of the conversation. Not wanting to be a party to it at all.

~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~End Flashback~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Fei…hey Fei are you in there?" Duo asked as he waved his hand in front of Wufei's face. Wufei grabbed the offending hand and pushed it out of his face.

"My name is Wufei, Maxwell. What do you want?"

"Just came to tell you we're to meet at the main lounge. We're to be introduced to the first set of passengers in twenty minutes."

TBC

End Notes for Part 2:

(1) Alright this number includes everyone on the 1x2ml and the DHML, and all the other people who have reviewed from Mediaminer and Gundam Wing Universe. *grins* You all got tickets…but I won't use names of people who don't want to be in this fic or everyone…just anyone who emails me and says they want to be in this fic and has given me the essentials of their character will be named…or anyone who gave me a review will be named in passing…

To those who have sent me emails specifically telling me about your character and things of that nature…you will be in the story…be patient….you might not be in it immediately but you'll be in it soon…

By the way…I'm still open to emails of people who want to be in the story…It's not to late…and you don't have to be 1x2x1 oriented as long as it's one of the pairing's listed in the pairing section… *sighs* I'm not doing threesomes (well besides 5x6x13), even though I really like those…Ohh and that reminds me to the people who have said they wanted to do this…please tell me your main pairing (the pairing you like most).