I don't own Gundam Wing. I wish I did. Please don't sue me. Also, I don't claim to own this song; it belongs to Semisonic, I believe.

Mild amounts of OOC-ness on the part of Heero, I guess. Also, this is shonnen ai. Boys. In a relationship. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Rating- 'PG' for content.


Secret Smile
by Dagmar-chan


I hate school.

Now I know what you're going to say: every fifteen-year old hates school. Not that I blame them, stuck day by day in a brick monolith, certain that somewhere out there you're missing your life. The real one, the one that doesn't include memorizing dates or formulas that you'll never use. The fun you would have if it weren't for that five page English paper due Friday.

Looking at me you'd think I was in that group of restless teenagers too. On the surface I go to class; I get mediocre grades in everything but gym; I complain about cafeteria food. I have a crush on someone who never looks at me twice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm some sort of social outcast; that I'm some pimply-faced punk who thinks girls have cooties, but that red-haired one, hey she's kinda cute. I mean, I'm friendly. I'm popular. I'm pretty good looking. No kidding. A lot of girls like the braid, I guess.

Heero always tells me I stick out too much. That I attract too much attention. But that's about all he ever says in the precious few moments he's not in class, on a mission, or typing a mission statement.

You see, there's part of the problem: I'm attracting the wrong attention. I'm attracting a bunch of girls. And well, the only person that I want to attract isn't a girl at all. And he doesn't think I deserve any of that attention either.

Given a choice, I suppose I would prefer his reaction to being ignored completely. At least this way, I can tell myself that he is racked with horrible jealously, and it's only a matter of time before he overcomes his inhibitions and.... Well, you get the picture.

Of course, being a Gundam pilot doesn't help the situation. I mean come on, after facing hundreds of men intent on your complete annihilation it's a little hard to take a pop quiz seriously.


Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me


Today we are learning about the principles of logic, or more precisely, logical implications.

But I ask you, what need have I for this class when I have a living, breathing, logic machine four rows to my right and one seat up, right between Marcia Stein and Timothy Zondowski? A logic machine which is much more fun to stare at than some dusty chalkboard.

My book is open on my desk, turned to page 214 and my pencil is in my hand. I am even almost listening to Mrs. McPhee as she explains the different logical connectives, but I'm definitely not taking notes.

Instead I am logically implying the lecture.

Get it? Implying... Applying... Okay, so that was both a bad pun and a pointless attempt at humor. Sometimes I think that I've been spending too much quality quiet time with Mr. Personality: I'm beginning to loose my precious grip on any fun not including a self-destruct button.

Then again, at this point even bad puns are preferable to the nightmare called symbolic logic.


Is what I feel right now, sitting and listening to this airhead drone on.


Is how I feel when he ignores me.


Ooooh, this one has possibility...


Is how I wish things could be different between us.


Is what I think--

"Duo Maxwell! Did you hear me? Or is Ms. Stein over there more important than your grades?"

Damn. Busted.

Marcia is blushing. And right behind her, Heero is looking at me with that self-satisfied smirk.

"No, Mrs. McPhee. I heard you: biconditional, the logical connective generally written as if and only if, defined as the operator which indicates both necessary and sufficient cause." I smile innocently and wait, my mental-fingers crossed against detention or worse.

I'm never going to live this down as it is. And if Heero realizes who I was really staring at, I might not live period.

"Alright Duo, but from now on I expect better concentration from you. We have a test on Monday, and this isn't something you can just breeze through." She gives me the look that only given by teachers who know their subject material is pointless. The one which that says if you fail this class you will never get into college, and I don't think you want to live in a cardboard box and eat moldy bread every day for dinner, now do you?

/Lady, I ain't gonna be here on Monday. Heck I may not be anywhere on Monday if the OZ scumbags have their way./ But no matter how many times I've wanted to say that I know that I'd only end up in the counseling office buried in a stack of psychological tests. And that would be if I'm lucky. "Yes, ma'am."

She seems to buy my answer and turns back to the board.

Crisis averted. This time.


So use it and prove it

Remove this whirling sadness

I'm losing, I'm bluesing

But you can save me from madness


"Hey, Heero!" I'm leaning in through the doorway, in an attempt to have a normal conversation.

As expected, he doesn't look back. I'm not giving up though. Leaving the door half-open, I scoot in behind him and lean over his shoulder.

Mission profiles. Blech.

"Hey, Heero. I was talking to Marcie and Laura and they were wondering if we wanted to go bowling tomorrow."

He makes a noncommittal noise.

I grin. "Great, I'll go tell them Friday's a go then!" Turning, I make it about two steps.

"We have a mission on Saturday."

Aa, his voice is sexy.

When Heero says no, he says no, usually followed by a death threat for good measure. I consider it an endearing trait. I mean who else can say their koibito has a voice that makes intimidation as appealing as endearments?

The threat doesn't appear forthcoming. Which means I've won.

"Yeah, so? Friday's Friday, not Saturday." Okay, so maybe logic really isn't my strong point.


"Yeah?" I say this with a quick turn of my head, and a reckless grin.

He meets my eyes evenly, a smirk playing around the corners of his mouth. "Don't expect to win."


Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me


I've never been very good at bowling, but I'm not going to let either the girls or Heero know that. Especially not Heero.

Marcie and Laura think this is a double date. Of course it isn't. Heero wouldn't date anyone, and I wouldn't date anyone beside Heero. However the situation is an enjoyable evil if it gets him out anywhere with me.

"Duo, look!" Marcie has clamped onto my arm with a grip like a vice. "Aren't they cute?"

I dutifully pull my eyes from staring at Heero's profile.

There on the other side of the counter is a selection of oversized plush bowling pins. I resist the urge to roll my eyes, instead fixing a bright smile on my face. "Yeah, cute!"

Heero is pointedly ignoring us all, and I notice with some satisfaction that Laura is getting a much colder reception than I usually receive from my koi.

For someone so damn hot, he sure is cold. Which is why I go out of my way to rile him up a bit. "Hey, Heero, wanna wager a bit on the game?"

He looks at me now, with that smirk he's been wearing more and more lately. The one that makes me want to jump him right here, and....

I clamp down on that thought almost before it begins.

"What are you suggesting?"

"Winner has to buy each of the losers one of those." I point to the tacky stuffed things, which are grossly overpriced at nine dollars apiece. "And pay for ice cream afterward."

Laura claps first. "Oh, for exciting!"

"But no one can loose on purpose," Marcia adds. Which is of course the point. To bowl well enough that both girls would be fooled, while poorly enough that you wouldn't end up with the high score.

"Accepted." I can hear his understanding, and the new interest in the game.

Outwardly I limit myself to a grin.


So save me I'm waiting

I'm needing, hear me pleading

And soothe me, improve me

I'm grieving, I'm barely believing now, now


I would never admit it, but I don't like the dark. Yeah, freaky isn't it? Shinigami! The God of Death! And he doesn't like a little bit of black.

I don't take much stock in psycho-babble about repressed childhood traumas, so I'll just say that night reminds me of hunger and fear and aloneness. Mostly the last.

My reaction? Hold onto this stupid stuffed bowling pin and talk the dark into submission. "I had a great time tonight, Heero."

I know he's sleeping, so I just fill in what his half of the conversation should be. "I had a great time too. I think that I should get out more. Pretty soon I'm going to get carpal tunnel syndrome and then how will I pilot Wing?"

"Oh, and thanks for the ice cream, Hee-chan." I almost don't use the nickname, but if he is awake he won't kill me the night before a mission. Hopefully.

"You're bowling score was lower than your grade point."

It takes me a moment to register that the real Heero Yuy, the one who should be sleeping soundly, has answered.

"Ah, yeah. Maybe next time we could try mini-golf."

"Hn." And I hear him roll over, effectively ending the conversation.

My stomach flips a bit as I realize that for the second time in two days, he-who-cares-for-none has agreed to go do something with me. And this time, something just with me.

As I think through this conundrum, I let my mouth continue to run. "There's this great place right on the west-side of town. It has a little windmill and everything."

Can it be that Heero Yuy enjoys my company?


When you are flying around and around the world

And I'm lying alonely

I know there's something sacred and free reserved

And received by me only


"Hi, is Herald there?" I can't believe how much it costs to make a long distance phone call these days.

"Uh, yeah. Just a second." The phone is covered for a second and I wait patiently. "He'll be right here; he's on the computer."

As I hear the phone changing hands, I silently shake my head. Of course he was.

"Hello? This is Herald." His voice is calm, but I can hear the underlying suspicion.

"Herald! It's me, Donny." Crappy names, but they serve their purpose. "How are you doing?"

"Du- Donny. Where did you get this number?" He sounds both relieved and perturbed.

He hasn't hung up yet, which is a very good sign. "Can you believe that I have to take logic again? I mean you would expect that schools on different continents would have different classes, or at least use different books. But no, this class is the same right down to the disgruntled teacher."

He manages to make a monosyllable sound pained. "Ah."

"Yeah, I don't think I've been less than ten minutes late all week. One of these times, Mrs. Larson is gonna give me detention, but see if I care."


I'm sure the perfect soldier has never had detention in his entire life. "Heero, are you smirking at me?"

The other end is suspiciously silent.

"Oh, well it's been great talking atcha, but I should probably go before I really do get detention. "

"Aa," He mumbles.

"Heero, one last thing. I just want to say that I..." I trail off intentionally. /It was a good try, Heero, but I'm onto you now./

"That what, Duo?" His response has a satisfyingly anxious tone.

"That I know, Hee-chan. And that I love you too."

Without waiting for a response, I hang up. Yes, sometimes I am _so_ evil.

As I grab my books, I can't help but grin. Maybe logic's not so bad after all.


Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me

Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile

And you use it only for me




NOTE: Under no circumstances will this be continued. It is SPAM. The end. I have enough unfinished fics as it is.

But feedback is appreciated. Thanks!