Title: What it's Like to Feel
Contents: shonen ai, yaoi, possibly lime or lemon later on
Disclaimer: I don't own any of Gundam Wing characters or the story line, please don't sue!
Archived: just DHML. If anyone wants to put this somewhere, please just email me to ask first (please GWA please GWA please GWA)
** What it's Like to Feel
As Duo watched his partner from across the room, a small, silent sigh left his lips. They had been living together on Earth for nearly a month now. He and Heero had both felt a responsibility to join the Preventers after the last war and they had been stationed together. Headquarters knew that they made a good team. Duo knew that as well, although Heero would never admit to it. That didn't really bother Duo though. What was bothering him was the cold and lifeless stare in his partner's eyes as Heero sat silently watching the movie that Duo had rented for the night. Of course Duo didn't expect Heero to really enjoy something like a funny movie. In fact, he knew that the only reason he was sitting there watching the movie was to keep Duo quiet about the whole thing. It was just that lifeless stare that Duo was never able to get used to.
::It's like he's empty inside when he's not concentrating on a mission… It's like he has no real emotions, he's just a shell. But I know that can't be true, it's just not possible. He's human, weather he wants to admit it or not. So why can't he feel? That same empty look is all I've seen in his eyes since the end of the war. Come on Heero… there has to be something going on inside of you… why are you still suppressing it? We've won, the world doesn't need the Perfect Soldier anymore… why are you still doing this? Gods, I wish that I could show you what it's like to feel::
After the movie, as Duo had promised, Heero was free to return to his work on his laptop. Heero was determined to ensure that all of the firewalls for the files at Preventers Headquarters were absolutely unbreakable, meaning that even Heero himself would not be able to break them. This would take some effort and a ton of time even for Heero.
When Duo passed Heero's room at midnight, headed for bed, he looked in to see Heero typing away and staring into the screen with that same frozen statement. ::Jeeze, he doesn't even get frustrated!::
"G'night Heero" He said after a sad shake of his head.
"Hn." Heero didn't move a muscle.
Duo simply sighed out loud and continued to his room, feeling sorry for his friend.
When Duo woke the next morning, he was slightly surprised when he saw that Heero was still at his computer, with that same statement on his face and the same rigid posture. ::Wow, musta been harder than I thought, he's obviously been there all night. Even though his face doesn't show any tiredness, I know he wouldn't have gone to sleep if he didn't finish it.::
As Duo was doing his morning work-out, he looked up from doing his push-ups when he heard Heero come down the stairs. He noticed that his movements were a little stiffer than normal as he descended the stairs. He also saw Heero reach up to rub the back of his neck as he came into the room. Duo stopped his push-ups.
"You ok, Heero?"
"You're obviously not ok if you're actually showing a sign of discomfort," Duo said indicating Heero's hand which was still rubbing his neck. "But then again, what do you expect sitting at that damn laptop all night and not moving a muscle! You know, you coulda taken a break, Headquarters didn't need the work right away…You're cramped up pretty bad I'll bet, proly something no mortal man could handle. Here, lemme help ya."
Heero's face remained unchanged, but he did not object and he went to sit on the couch where Duo was gesturing for him to sit. Despite the fact that his back and shoulder muscles had pretty much collected into one large knot (after sitting so still for so many hours with his arms raised at an uncomfortable level since the desk in his room was too high for the chair he had used), he really didn't think that any help was needed. Still, he didn't really care what Duo did just so long as he wasn't keeping Heero from getting his work done, and since he had no more work to do at the moment, he had no objections.
As Heero sat next to Duo, Duo reached out and guided Heero to sit with his back towards him. Duo then began kneading Heero's iron muscles. They were so tight and hard that it took all of his strength to do the task. Still, Duo knew what he was doing and worked diligently to relieve the muscles of the stress from being kept still for too long. He started with the junction between Heero's neck and shoulders, pressing in circular motions with his thumbs and kneading with his fingers. He pressed his thumbs together at the center of Heero's upper-back and slowly moved them away from each other and towards Heero's sides while pressing down. Eventually the work became less difficult for Duo as Heero's muscles began to soften under his skilled hands.
Heero was surprised that what Duo was doing to him actually did seem to make the annoying pain in his uncooperative body disappear. He had never been given a massage before. He was surprised when he felt his head begin to droop as a result of Duo's administrations. He jerked his head back up, hearing a quiet snicker from Duo. //How could I have begun to lose control of my body like that? Duo is not using any pressure points on me and it's certainly not because of my lack of sleep, I've gone without sleep countless times before. Still, my body wants to relax for some reason, I suppose that can be allowed for now…// Heero allowed himself to go limp as Duo continued the massage.
::Are you feeling anything Heero? It looks like you're allowing your body a little pleasure at least… maybe now, with your defenses slightly lowered, you could feel something a little more…."
Suddenly Heero felt a chill run down his spine, something he had never felt before. //What the…?// Heero now realized that Duo had changed the way he was touching him. He was no longer kneading and relaxing his muscles. Now his touch was feather-light. Duo was trailing the backs of his fingernails up and down the exposed skin around Heero's tank top. He trailed imaginary lines around his shoulder-blades and up and down his spine. His fingers made their way up his neck, trailing up and down the length of his neck. Both hands were now on his neck, moving to each side of his neck and then suddenly both trailed down his neck and then over each shoulder and all the way down his arms, then back up the back of his arms with that same feather-light touch. //What is he doing? This is not loosening my muscles… in fact, for some reason my muscles have tightened again under this touch, but he's barely touching me? But… what is that? Why did I shiver? Why does it feel warm in my chest? And I… I… why don't I want him to stop? I don't even understand what my body is doing and I still don't want it to stop…//
Unfortunately, Duo could not see Heero's confusion mixed with pleasure running through his eyes since he was facing away from him. ::This is stupid, what am I expecting him to do? Groan in pleasure and turn to me with glazed eyes and a warm smile?:: Duo suddenly removed his hands from trailing up and down Heero's arms, giving him a friendly pat on the shoulder.
"There, you're all done pall. Maybe next time you'll remember to take a break and stretch every now and then. My hands are killing me!" He said with a large smile.
As Duo was talking, Heero was trying to understand what was going on inside of him. //He stopped? What… why does my chest feel like it's being squeezed? I… I don't like that feeling. I… something's missing… no… I mean… I miss something. I miss that touch? I didn't want him to stop//
But by the time Duo had finished speaking, Heero had been able to suppress his… feelings… before Duo could notice that something had happened in the cobalt eyes.
Duo inhaled slightly. "… Nani?" he managed to ask.
Heero just got up and walked into the kitchen for his breakfast. Once again, he could not understand his own reactions… //I've never said that to him before, but I didn't even think about it just then. It just, came out. I don't understand// Heero was not used to being unable to understand something. Still, for some reason it didn't make him angry. Somehow, he couldn't be angry about these new feelings.
As he prepared his breakfast, Heero glanced back into the other room where Duo was again doing his push-ups. There was a thin layer of sweat on Duo's forehead and Heero noticed the definition in the muscles of Duo's arms and shoulders. He heard the soft grunts Duo made with each push. Suddenly, that warm feeling returned to Heero's chest again. Then, all at once, Heero was shocked to realize that he wanted to touch Duo… for some reason. //What's going on?//
Heero found himself staring at Duo at he tried to understand what was happening to him. For some reason, his body was reacting as well as his… emotions? His gaze lingered on Duo's firm, clenched butt as the other boy continued his push-ups. Heero could feel his heart rate quicken and a light sweat on forehead. He felt as though he could not get enough air. //What's wrong with me? Something's happening to me but I know I'm not sick… no… sickness is unpleasant… I don't know what this is but it's not unpleasant. Just a little uncomfortable but I still don't want it to go away. If I wanted it to go away then maybe I would stop watching him…//
Soon, Duo finished his light workout and turned to notice Heero starring at him from the kitchen. Heero's body told him that he had wanted Duo to continue a little longer with his workout.
"What? I'd like to try and stay in shape, that ok with you? Unlike some people, I was born with slightly less than super-human strength and I actually gotta work to keep that strength up. Not that you could tell from my scrawny arms of course… " Duo blanched a little at his arms and then grinned again as he turned to head up the stairs. "And I actually sweat too… another thing I'll bet some people I know would never have to worry about… Mr. Perfect! Hence, I'm off for a quick shower before we head to work. Don't worry, we won't be late!" Duo gave his manic grin as he disappeared upstairs.
"Baka" Heero muttered under his breath. Yet Heero realized that Duo's behavior just then had made that warmth return to his chest again. This time, he felt as though his body were lighter than normal. He sensed that his muscles had relaxed upon seeing Duo's characteristic grin and his playful manner. Strange that he had seen Duo act like that so many times before without having any sort of reaction. However, Heero was completely taken aback when he realized that he had a small smile on his face himself. //Duo makes me…. Happy?//
Half an hour later, Duo came flying down the stairs, tying a band onto the end of a slightly-wet braid.
"Sorry sorry sorry, takes me a little while to braid my hair, ya know? But look, I didn't even dry it all the way so that I wouldn't make us late!" He beamed proudly.
"Hn, just come on."
As Heero drove them to the Preventer's Headquarters, he suddenly found himself marveling at the fact that Duo's hair had been undone just moments ago before he had come downstairs. He had never even really considered the idea of Duo with his hair unbraided… but when he had seen Duo actually putting on the hair band, he was jolted with the simple realization that the braid was not so permanent. //He must look so different with it down, hanging all around him, smooth and flowing… I'd be able to run my fingers through that silky chestnut flow… // Heero's eyes suddenly flew wide open as if they had just been closed and he gasped quietly, heart beginning to pound as he realized what he had just been thinking.
Duo heard the gasp and his own eyes widened in shock as well. "Wow, Heero, you ok? Leave the coffee pot on or something?" Duo laughed, while secretly he was truly baffled that something could have made Heero react so suddenly. Usually nothing could have made the silent boy surprised, he never even flinched in deadly battles! ::What in the world is he thinking about?::
//What in the world am I thinking about!? That's the second time I've wanted to touch him today, but this was different… that time I wanted… somehow touching his hair means something else. And there was that feeling again, only this time it was more powerful. And my guard was down. My guard was down, that's never happened before. And he noticed my reaction too. I really wish he hadn't noticed that, I can't believe I actually showed it. What if he found out what I was thinking about? Why is my face getting warm?//
Duo openly gaped in amazement as he starred at Heero. ::He's… BLUSHING!?!? I… I don't even know what to think about that one! Heero doesn't even know how to be embarrassed, and even if he did, he's never had any cause for it in his entire life I'll bet. Oh Gods, I want to know so badly what he is thinking about. What could possibly make Heero Yuy blush? Something actually made him feel something. I had really thought that was not possible:: Still, even Duo did not have the nerve to ask Heero Yuy what was making him blush. His comment went unanswered and the ride continued in silence.
While at work, Heero couldn't stop thinking about his partner and the new feelings he was experiencing because of him. He knew that he should live by his emotions, he always had, and without hesitation. Of course he had always at least understood those emotions. Now he was just plain confused, which was another new thing for Heero. Still, something had to be done about this new development. Twice during work he had realized that his guard was down as he had scrutinized his feelings. Also, he could not concentrate on his work, which was unacceptable. While he didn't understand why he was feeling what he was or even what these feelings were, he did know that there were certain things he wanted. Perhaps if he just acted upon those desires, he would at least be able to concentrate on his work again. But then Heero found himself even more confused when the idea of simply acting upon those strange impulses made him uncomfortable. //What else do I want? I know I want to touch him… but it's like that wouldn't even be enough. Well, I can't deal with something I don't understand, right now the only thing I truly understand is that I want to touch him, I'll deal with whatever's bothering me when I find out what it is. Gods, I still can't believe I am actually confused… //
On the way home, Heero could not stop glancing over at Duo. He was feeling so many things that he couldn't understand. He almost felt as though he were going to shake and he held the steering wheel more tightly than necessary. He didn't know if he wanted to speed home or if he never wanted to get there.
When they reached their home, they noticed that there was another car parked out front.
"Hey Heero, you expecting someone over?"
"Iie" Heero's intuition suddenly kicked in. There was something that Heero would not like about this situation, he could tell.
As they walked to their door, Heero heard someone running from the other side of the house. He looked over to see Hilde running towards them.
"DUO!!!!" She yelled with a huge smile on her face.
"HILDE!!!" He yelled back, his face stretching into a wide beam and running to meet her halfway across the yard. They met in a joyful embrace, Duo easily picking the girl up and swinging her around. "I've missed you! You better have missed me too kiddo!" He said, finally setting her down.
"Why else would I have come to visit, you knucklehead! Of course I missed you!"
Heero again found himself feeling emotions that he could not understand. Well, actually this emotion was familiar, but he didn't understand the reason for him to be feeling it at that moment, especially as strongly as he did just then. The feeling was anger. He was giving Hilde his death glare and he could barely suppress his rage towards the girl. He didn't understand why he was so angry with the girl, but he definitely could not deny that he wanted her to simply disappear, now. Of course he might have understood a little bit more about why he suddenly hated the sight of the cheerful girl if he had known that it wasn't so much anger he was feeling right then, but jealousy.
Heero soon managed to hide his rage from Duo and Hilde. His face returned to the cold stone that Duo was used to, so Duo never noticed that something was wrong. However, Heero couldn't control the anger and resentment he felt towards Hilde. As he watched her talk to Duo, he felt his blood run cold and his muscles and jaw clench tight. He could barely see clearly because of his raging emotions when he saw Hilde and Duo laughing together. //That damn girl… what's she doing here? "Visiting" him? Why is she his friend? How can he put up with her? Duo, stop smiling at her!//
As they all entered the house, Duo and Hilde were still wrapped up in their joking and conversation. Duo walked with his arm around Hilde's waist, a huge smile lighting up his face and his gorgeous eyes. Heero wanted to tear that arm away from Hilde, but he only walked stiffly and silently behind the two as they entered the house.
"So, how long you in town, kiddo? I sure have missed ya, I hope you're not leaving soon."
"Well, actually, my work has sent me to Earth for just a few days before I gotta head back to the colonies. I'm gonna be pretty busy with that while I'm here but I can drop by again before I leave if you want me to."
"Awww… man that's too bad. And of COURSE I want you to stop by again before you gotta go. Where are you staying?"
"With some relatives, they live about 3 hours from here, so I'd probably only be able to see you on my way back to the shuttle station before I leave, since your place is on the way."
Dou gave her a puppy-dog face. "Awwww… man, that's really too bad… when do you gotta start this work?"
"HEY! I got an idea! Why don't you just stay here for tonight then? Come on, PLEASE Hilde? I haven't seen you in forever and I'll proly have to curl up in a ball and cry if you don't spend some more time with me." Another puppy-dog look.
Hilde giggled at Duo's statement. "You nut! Well, I guess I could stay… if it's ok with you too, Heero?"
Duo turned the full force of his puppy-eyes on Heero. "Plllleeeaaasseeee Heero? Can I keep her, huh, can I? I'll take really good care of her and feed her and walk her and clean up after her and it'd make me real happy and I wouldn't even bother you while you're on your laptop!"
Heero felt like he would explode from this torrent of powerful emotions that he still didn't understand. He wanted to scream, he wanted to explode, he wanted to kill something… or someone for that matter. But he also felt like something was in his throat, giving him difficulty swallowing. And now Duo was looking at him with those pleading eyes… he wanted to give in to those eyes but he also wanted to punch Duo right in the nose. Everything about it was so conflicting, there was a war within his body that he just couldn't make sense of and it was making Heero even more angry and frustrated than he already was. He could do nothing but stare frozen back at Duo and grunt, "Hn".
"YAY! That's a 'yes' Hilde. Well, for Heero it is anyway." He smiled and winked at Heero, causing the emotions to flare in the other boy even more.
Hilde giggled. "I'll take your word for that. Thanks you guys, I guess I didn't really feel like making that drive right after my shuttle ride anyway. Mind if I call my relatives to let them know I'm staying here tonight then?"
"No, I think we oughta see how much we can make em sweat before they start calling the cops, baka. The vid-phone's in the kitchen."
Hilde stuck her tongue out at Duo before heading into the kitchen for the call.
After she was gone, Duo turned to Heero. "Ano… Heero? Would you mind if I slept in your room tonight? I should give Hilde my room for tonight, girls need their space and privacy and all that and I wanna make sure she's comfortable. I don't snore or anything, I promise, and I won't keep you up or pester you or anything." Duo gave a little laugh, "And I swear I won't jump you in the middle of the night or anything either. I'll just have to use all my willpower, but I'll leave your sexy bod alone."
Heero stared at him, eyes actually widened in shock at what Duo had said. ::Jeeze, what's with him today? Something's got him edgy, I've never seen his statement change shapes so many times before::
"Aww, come on man, you know I'm just foolin around. So how about it? Would you mind? I'd really rather not stay on the couch but if you're not cool with it then I'll understand. I'm just used to sleeping in the same bed as other guys, growing up in an orphanage and all, but I know a lot of guys aren't."
//Gods, why is my heart beating so fast? And my face is getting warm again. I guess that doesn't really matter, I can't pass this up, even if some part of me is telling me that I shouldn't do this. I still know that I want to touch him, even while all these new emotions are raging, that's the one thing I still know that I want. This'll give me that chance, since I also know that I don't want Hilde to be around when I do touch him, so I can't do anything until then. Still… is this… nervousness? Could I actually be nervous? No, that's ridiculous, I know what I want, and this is how I'll get it.//
"It's ok with me, Duo."
"Thanks buddy, I owe ya one." He patted Heero's shoulder and then sat back again, waiting for Hilde to return.
Duo later insisted that they all order delivery for dinner so that they wouldn't have to cook while Hilde was there. Heero had eaten in silence, listening to Duo and Hilde talk and joke and laugh. His emotions hadn't changed from when he had first seen Hilde outside, but Heero was able to hide behind his cold features all night long. After he finished eating, Heero quickly went up to his room, wanting to get away from the two in hopes of calming himself down. Unfortunately, once they were out of his sight, the situation was even worse for Heero. He couldn't stop wondering what the two were saying or doing in his absence… and he didn't understand why he wanted to be able to watch them again, even though he had just come up to his room to be able to escape watching them together. //What are they doing down there anyway? Why's it so quiet… why the HELL is it so damn quiet down there! Are they… kissing?// Heero wanted to throw up. //Why does that make me so… what? Sad? Hurt? Why should I care what he does with her? So long as I get to touch him tonight, which I will, I've set my mind to that. So why am I so miserable now? This shouldn't matter, I'll still get what I want…I think. No, no I won't, not if he's kissing her right now, then it would ruin it somehow… but why? What is it exactly that I really want?//
Heero laid down on his bed to think. After about ten minutes of trying to understand his emotions, he became aware of a new one. //I'm lonely// This one was clear when he realized it was there, he knew exactly what it was. It just wasn't something he'd ever thought that he'd feel, but he still knew it immediately. Heero suddenly bolted upright in bed, eyes wide as he finally understood what else it was that he wanted.
//I want him to want me. I want him to smile at me like he smiles to Hilde. I want to be the person that makes him so happy… I want him to always be happy. And I want him to enjoy it when I touch him, and I want him to touch me too. No… not just touch him, I want to kiss him too… Oh Gods, I want that so much, there's no way I can deny it now. But… it would hurt me so much if he didn't want it. I couldn't do it if it didn't make him happy. So now what about tonight? I want more than anything to touch him and hold him and… gods…. But what if he doesn't want me to? That's why I was nervous… I didn't know if he'd want me to touch him. I still don't know. And if he's kissing Hilde, which he might be doing right now!!… then he doesn't want me, he wants her. I have to know what's going on downstairs!//
Heero crept to the staircase, unable to stop himself from sneaking down to spy on Duo and his friend. He found them sitting at the table, looking through one of Duo's photo albums. Duo was describing some of the pictures to her every now and then, but quietly enough that the sound wouldn't have traveled all the way upstairs. Heero then quickly made his way back up into his room before he knew Duo's instincts would pick up and he'd be caught.
//Well, now I know what's going on at least. There's nothing I can do to change the way I'm feeling, and I can't make any new developments until I can talk to him alone. Which won't be until tonight… I'll just have to wait.//
Heero woke immediately when he sensed that someone else had entered his room. He hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep, but his body had insisted on the rest after having no sleep the night before and especially after all the emotional stress he had been through. Well, he was wide awake now as he watched Duo's every motion as he walked across the room.
"Hey, don't worry, I'm not gonna keep you up, I'm beat myself. I'm just gonna get changed and hit the sack, quiet as a mouse."
Heero didn't say a word but couldn't tear his eyes away from Duo. Duo was facing away from him as he stripped himself of his T-shirt and then his pants. Heero tried to memorize every bit of that toned and slim form, even if it was only from the back, Duo looked amazing. Heero's eyes traveled up and down the backs of the long legs and lingered on that round butt again and again. He was disappointed when Duo quickly pulled on a pair of long flannel pajama pants, but then Duo turned around and he was gifted with the view of his muscles chest and abs… he couldn't look away even though a small part of his brain tried to remind him that Duo would catch him staring.
Duo cocked his head to the side and his eyes showed his confusion when he noticed Heero staring at him so intently. ::What did I do this time? Actually, he doesn't look angry, I wonder what's been up with him lately… I can't figure that guy out:: "Heero?"
Heero was finally able to look up at Duo's face. "Duo… I… come here Duo"
Duo gulped, but walked over to the bed and sat down next to Heero. His eyes grew wide as Heero looked at him with something like… longing… in his eyes. ::What the… could he… nah… no that can't be it, Heero could never want… ::
Heero couldn't help himself as his hand slowly reached over and gently touched Duo's chest with his fingertips. His hand moved by itself as he trailed his fingers down to Duo's flat abs and then back up to his chest, and then back and forth across his chest before his brain again regained control and he was able to retract his hand as he was unable to ignore the realization that he had come to earlier about exactly what he wanted from Duo.
"Duo… I… do you want me, Duo?"
Duo's jaw dropped at Heero's blunt question and his eyes grew wide in shock. ::What!? What's going on? Heero…. does Heero want me!? Sure as hell looks that way, but… it's Heero! Jeeze, I guess the guy has some feelings in there after all… is this why he's been acting kinda strange today? Hey, that's another good question… why now? What's happened? Does he actually like me? Then again, maybe he's just curious if I like him… maybe he's gonna kill me for wanting him, maybe he really does think that I was gonna jump him in bed tonight. Wait a sec… Do I want him? Oh yeah, that reminds me… he's waiting for an answer. The boy sure knows how to be subtle… but then that's Heero for ya. No beating around the bush with him. Has something on his mind and he just comes right out and asks me if I want him. Oh yeah, still supposed to answer him…::
Heero felt his face grow warm as he waited for Duo to speak to him. Emotions raging more than ever as Duo continued to stay silent. //What's this… anxiety? There's that lump in my throat again and my heart feels like it just about stopped beating… Gods this is hell, maybe I shouldn't have just come out and asked him like that… but what else was I supposed to do? I wanted to know but this is torture!//
Finally, Duo shook himself out of his thoughts and tried to get his vocal chords to cooperate and say… SOMETHING! "I… I… damn Heero, where did this come from? Are you telling me that you want me? Or are you just curious or something… and just what do you mean by 'want'"?
Heero wasn't expecting that response. Somehow he had expected a simple yes or no, which would allow him to proceed as necessary. //Guess I forgot who I was asking… of course he wouldn't make this easy for me, annoying baka.// Yet now, Heero couldn't even call Duo a baka in his thoughts without feeling the fondness behind the now teasing term.
Although he wished that Duo would answer his question, he knew that he wouldn't get an answer out of Duo until he explained himself. Despite the anxiety he was now feeling, Heero still did not know how to handle the situation any way other than to get right to the point.
"Yes, I want you Duo. What I mean by 'want' is that I want to touch you and I want to hold you and… and I want you to want me. Meaning I want to be the one to make you happy. I want to make you laugh and I want to see you smile at me all the time. I want you to enjoy being with me and being touched by me. That's why I'm asking if you want me. It's what I want, but I realized that I wouldn't be happy having you if it's not what you wanted. Will you answer me now?"
Duo couldn't believe what he was hearing. Heero's words were the most romantic things he had ever heard… and knowing that Heero had not intended for them to be romantic made them all the more powerful. Duo could tell that Heero was simply informing Duo of how he felt in order to clarify the situation and allow Duo to answer his question. That meant that what he had just said was absolutely true. Duo felt his heart melt at those words and the certainty behind the cobalt eyes that spoke them. He still had that question to answer…
::Do I want him? Well, of course he's incredibly gorgeous, I've never denied that. God knows I've nearly gotten hard staring at his amazing body a few times… and of course there's that heart-stopping ragged and wild look to his hair and… can't forget the intense eyes. Yeah, there's no doubt in my mind that I want his body… and the rest of him? Hell, what he just said a second ago definitely had an affect on what my heart has to say about this. And… he's beginning to feel now. After all this time, I've been able to open him up and I didn't even know it. Yes… yes I definitely like that feeling. I like knowing that I've made him happy, I want to make him even happier.:: Duo gave a little smirk to himself. ::Still not gonna give him a simple yes or no though… that's Heero's style, not mine.::
Heero was still waiting for his answer when he saw a sparkle come into Duo's violet eyes and a small smile on his lips. He reached over and grazed the back of Heero's hand with his thumb, then trailed his fingertips all the way up his arm like he had done earlier with his massage. He trailed his fingers over Heero's shoulder and across his collarbone, then with just his index finger he trailed up Heero's neck and then followed his jawbone, finally burying his fingers in the wild brown hair. His eyes never left Heero's, who was also unable to remove his gaze from Duo's violet orbs. Slowly, Duo began to pull Heero's head forward as he leaned in, feeling Heero's hot breath wash over his face and the heat radiating from his chest.
::Yes, yes this is definitely what I want::
"Heero…" he whispered as his lips finally finished their journey, softly pushing against Heero's in a gentle kiss. He slid his other arm around Heero's back, holding him tightly to him. Heero, however, couldn't move. He was absolutely powerless, something he had never felt before.
When Duo pulled away, he smirked at the shocked and absolutely dazed statement on Heero's face, knowing that he would never forget the way Heero looked just then. Heero's lips were on fire, he had never imagined that his body could feel this way. When Duo had kissed him, it was as though he were feeling his entire body for the first time. Everything was on fire, and the parts that Duo was touching, especially his lips, felt like they were going to burst with the swell of sensations. //Is that supposed to happen? Gods… that's what it's like? I had no idea so much pleasure was possible. That's… that's… // He realized that Duo was no longer kissing or even touching him as his senses came flowing back to him. //I need more//
Heero threw himself onto Duo, knocking him down so that he lay back on the bed. He urgently pressed his lips again to Duo's, holding his body as close as possible even though he was already on top of the other boy. He was again lost in the sensation of lips on lips when he felt another new sensation.
Duo's tongue was running across Heero's closed lips. This sent another jolt of electricity through his body, even more powerful than before and he could not hold back a sharp gasp. When he did, Duo took advantage of his opened mouth and slid his tongue inside, searching for its counterpart. Heero was overcome with the sensation and completely surprised by the action, but his body took over and his tongue moved to meet Duo's. Heero couldn't believe the intensity of what he was feeling, and all he could think of was that he wanted more, that he needed more. He quickly took control and began to ravish Duo's sweet mouth, exploring every part of it. Duo tasted so good, he could never get enough of him. Then, just as Heero thought the world had receded to just the feeling of his tongue in Duo's mouth, the strongest jolt of pleasure he had yet to feel flashed through his body and he let out a throaty moan of pleasure before he even realized what had happed.
Heero suddenly became fully aware of what his lower region was doing as a new sensory overload exploded between his legs. He realized that he was hard, and that his erection had pushed against… he moaned again as he realized that Duo was also hard and that their erections were ground together under their pants. It was driving Heero wild, and he could not help himself from grinding again and again into Duo's hips. He had lost control of his body.
Duo, however, had more control over these feelings and although he was incredibly turned on, he could sense that Heero was about to have a meltdown. As much as he wanted to give Heero everything that he desired, he knew that now wasn't the time. This was all so new to Heero and he was not going to let him feel everything all at once. It would be better to keep the surprises coming and extend his pleasure even longer. Besides… he remembered that Hilde was in the room just down the hall and he could tell that this could get loud.
Gently, Duo broke their kiss and rolled Heero onto his side. He gazed into his amazing cobalt eyes and smiled an honest, heart-felt smile. "Does that answer your question, Heero?"
Heero was shaking all over, he was a little frightened even by the intensity of these new feelings. He responded in a shaky voice… "H.. Hai"
Duo kissed his nose and then draped an arm around Heero's waist, soothingly rubbing his back. "Shhh…Calm down, it's ok,… let's go to sleep now, we'll talk more about this in the morning."
Heero nodded slightly and put an arm around Duo as well, quieting his shaking body. //Yes, this is what I wanted//
As Heero began to wake up, he was immediately aware that something was very different… //I'm not alone//. His eyes flew open and he stared wide-eyed and motionless at the boy he held in his arms. Memories of the night before came flooding over him as he found himself holding his breath in the fear of waking the fey creature in his embrace.
//I… I had no control. What was he doing to me? What happened to me? I've always had complete control over my body. I can even control my heart rate. Yet last night, when he was touching me, when I was touching him… I lost control. The only reason I was able to stop was because he pulled back. What… what would I have done if he hadn't pulled back? I… I don't even know right now. How far would I have gone? I… I'm glad he stopped me. I wasn't in control and that is not acceptable. I think he knew that… I'll make sure that I can control myself the next time//
Heero couldn't help the small smile that crept onto his face as he thought
about that, another new sensation which felt strange but pleasant on his
face. //Next time… yes, yes there will be a next time. He… he wants me.
He enjoyed last night too// Heero's smile turned into a smirk and his blood
began to warm when he thought back to Duo's actions last night… and to
Duo's arousal that had rubbed against his. Suddenly Heero felt his arms
tighten around the young man and he realized that his head was moving down
towards the beautiful lips… but he stopped himself as he realized that
he had again lost control of his body. //I don't understand this… but it
feels so good, so right. Just holding him like this, it's making my chest
swell and there's that warmth again. Why can't I stop looking at his face?
He's not even doing anything, and I usually don't even look at him when
he's babbling on and on about… whatever he talks about all the time.//
Heero flinched slightly when he realized all the times he had ignored Duo.
//Yet now I can't take my eyes off of his face. He… his face is so perfect.
I've never seen beauty in people before, but… this must be what it is.
He's beautiful. How could I have never noticed that before? And how could
I have ignored his laughter before? He's so
alive, so full of life and feelings. These feelings that are so new to me, he's probably felt them all his life. He's never been afraid to show them, that's for sure. I want him to always show them now, I won't ignore him anymore. I'm gonna make him happy. I'm gonna be the one that he looks at with those amazing, smiling eyes. He told me it was what he wanted too… he wants to be with me. I can't believe how lucky I am, why would he want to be with me? Well, I don't even really understand my own feelings right now, I can't try to figure his out as well. If he's happy with me then that's all I need to know. I usually can't understand what these emotions mean, but sometimes it's so clear… it's so clear that I want to make Duo happy.//
After silently watching Duo for twenty minutes, he felt the other boy begin to stir. Heero finally decided to give in to the temptation that he had been holding back the entire time he had watched Duo sleep. He leaned in and gently kissed those upturned lips, lingering for only a second before pulling back, waiting for those violet eyes to finally open. Although his lips tingled from the touch, Heero had been more prepared for the wonderful sensation and was able to control his reaction to the electric touch.
Duo woke with a wonderful tingling feeling running through his body that had centered at his lips. He was hazily aware of the feeling of being held in strong arms against a warm body. Some part of his mind registered that this was different, but he was mostly only aware of the immense pleasure and comfort that he found himself in. Slowly, he focused more on the fact that things were not what they usually were as he realized that he was not in his own room and that there was another person in bed with him. He slowly opened his eyes to see who was holding him so tenderly and met with cobalt depths of caring. He smiled and relaxed at the sight before he even remembered what had happened the night before. As the memories did come to him, he only smiled wider and snuggled back into Heero's arms.
::This is definitely something that I could get used to… I still can't get over the feelings that I can see in his eyes now. He had a lot in there I guess… Well whatever happened to change him, I'm glad it did.::
"Morning, Heero" He said as he nuzzled his cheek against Heero's chest.
"Morning, Duo" Heero began to tenderly stroke Duo's braid, the warm feeling in his chest swelling even more at Duo's show of affection.
"Mmmmm… I could get used to waking up in your arms. This is so nice."
"…Hai" Heero replied in a quiet voice, arms tightening around the other boy.
Duo pulled away from Heero's chest to look into his eyes. He smiled at the pure emotions that he could so easily see in that gorgeous face. He leaned in for a lingering kiss, tongues meeting only briefly before he pulled away.
"As much as I'd love to stay here all day, I'm afraid we do have to get up." At the obvious disappointment that flashed through Heero's eyes, Duo's heart melted before he kissed the tip of Heero's nose and winked at him with a sly smile. "Don't worry, I promise we'll continue… things… later." His eyes grew serious again before he continued. "And I know we still need to talk about some things. Not that I have any regrets, I'm really happy about this, I hope you are too."
Heero's answer was another tender kiss and a look that was full of longing and affection. Duo smiled at him again before raising from the bed to get dressed. Heero watched as Duo threw on the black priest's outfit that he had brought into the room the night before. Duo looked up to see Heero's eyes on him and winked at him before rolling up his sleeves in his usual style and heading to the door.
"I'm gonna see if Hilde's up yet. I'm gonna make breakfast for all of us before she has to get going to her relatives. I'll cya downstairs." He bounced out of the room with even more joyful energy than normal.
At breakfast, Hilde could tell that something had happened, but she decided not to mention it. She had suspected that Duo had hidden feelings for Heero that he might not have even been aware of. The little smiles and glances that Duo gave Heero from across the table were a strong support for her theory. However, the most obvious indicator that something drastic had happened was found in Heero's eyes. They were no longer cold and distant. Instead, they often found their way to Duo's smiling face and the softness could not be hidden behind the seemingly stoic face. Hilde smiled to herself, happy for her friend.
"Don't forget to come see us on your way back to the shuttle station, I'm mad enough at you for leaving us so soon!" Hilde smirked as she noticed that Duo was now referring to her visit to "them" rather than to just Duo.
"Who could ever forget you? You don't give me the chance!" She hugged Duo tightly, taking the opportunity to whisper into his ear, "Congratulations"
Duo looked at her slightly confused when they parted their hug, but she only smirked and winked at him. He laughed when he realized how perceptive Hilde had been… ::Or maybe we're just really obvious… oh well:: He looked at Heero and smiled, shaking his head at Heero's curious look.
After Hilde's car was out of sight, Duo turned to Heero and said, "I guess we're pretty obvious, she noticed that something was up between us and we didn't even touch each other." He said this last bit as he wrapped an arm around Heero's waist.
"Hn" Heero said before claiming those lips again. It had been torture to be unable to touch Duo in front of Hilde. //And apparently it didn't even make a difference…//
Duo melted into the kiss. He had also been frustrated without being able to show his affection that morning. His heart was soaring at the incredible change that had happened in his life so quickly. ::That reminds me…there are still those things we should clear up:: He reluctantly broke the kiss and looked seriously at Heero.
"Heero, can we have that talk now?"
Heero suddenly couldn't look into those violet depths which had entrapped him so often recently. //What does he want to talk about? What's wrong? Maybe he's changed his mind and he doesn't want me after all… I never did decide why he would have in the first place.// He felt a sharp pain in his chest and an odd sensation in his stomach. //What the… this pain… it hurts so much. Why can't I ignore it like I always do? I don't know if I can handle this…//
Duo noticed Heero's downcast eyes and rigid posture. He realized what Heero must have been thinking and interrupted his train of thought. With a gentle smile, he reached his fingers under Heero's chin and tilted his head back up to him.
"Hey, it's ok Heero. Like I said before, I don't want this to change." He slowly leaned forward and pressed his lips to Heero's in a chaste kiss. Heero's eyes finally rose to meet his again, lost once more in them. "I just wanna ask some questions about it all. Things happened kinda quickly last night." Heero let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding.
//Ok, he's gonna stay with me. That pain is gone but I'm still so… nervous I guess it is? It doesn't matter, if he wants answers, I can give them to him. He won't be happy if I don't answer his questions and I WILL make him happy.// "Ok, Duo, what do you want to know?"
::Where do I start?:: "Well… jeeze, I guess I'm not even really too sure. How about telling me when you started feeling something for me?"
Duo's eyes widened and his mouth fell open. ::YESTERDAY!? Wow… that sure was fast… then again I guess Heero's not one to waste any time.:: Suddenly Duo had even more questions to ask. "What… what… why yesterday? Was it just all of a sudden after knowing me for years?"
Heero again looked at the floor. //How am I supposed to answer that? Will my answer hurt his feelings? Did I already say something to hurt him? I'm going to have to just try to explain I guess… how can I put this into words? I'm not used to this.// "Duo… I'm not too sure how long I've felt like this, but I only realized it yesterday. Something started to happen to me when I looked at you. At first I just knew I wanted to touch you, but then I realized that it was even more than that. You… the way you were joking and laughing, like you always do… it made me feel something else. I don't think I can describe it. It made me smile though, and I knew that I liked it."
Duo's heart melted again at Heero's unconsciously romantic words. Still… he didn't understand…"But, Heero, why all of a sudden?"
Heero felt his face grow warm again, for some reason he'd wanted to avoid telling Duo this. "Uh, well, I first felt something during your massage yesterday. After that, new feelings just kept on coming to me and I just couldn't stop thinking about you."
At first, Duo wasn't sure how to react to this. ::So… all it took was some physical contact? Did that break some sort of dam? But… is that all he wants? Maybe he didn't know what sexual contact felt like and now he's gonna be crazed for it? Like he was last night… he lost control when we were kissing.:: Duo looked into Heero's eyes, searching for some more reassurance of Heero's true feelings. ::No, no that's not all there is. There's definitely something else in there, I can see it. Just the fact that I can see it in his eyes tells me that there's so much more, he's opening up and he wants me to be there with him. It's understandable that he lost control last night. It's all so new to him.::
Heero noticed Duo's face relax as he contemplated Heero's answer. Apparently he accepted what Heero had said. This made him relax a little more as he waited for Duo's next question, but Duo apparently had none to ask at the moment. There was a pause before Heero realized that he should take the opportunity to ask Duo something that he had been wondering himself.
"Duo, what about you? What do you feel for me? Could I make you happy?"
Duo felt a lump in his throat. ::Yes, it's definitely more than something physical for him:: "Oh Heero… you really do care about me, don't you?" Duo hugged Heero tightly, not breaking the embrace as he continued. "Heero, before you started showing these feelings, I just wanted to help you break through your shell of the perfect soldier and to know what it's like to be happy, or to really feel anything. I used to think that was all it was, that I wanted to help you. But, now I understand that it was more than that. I want to make you happy because I know that you're a really good person and you deserve to be happy. You've given everything for others, you're so strong for everyone. You were the spirit that gave us all hope during the war. I know now that I wanted to help you because I… feel something for you. I didn't realize that until I could finally see the emotions in your eyes, though." Duo pulled his head back and looked Heero deeply in the eyes. "Heero, I do want to be with you. I want us to be together. You've already made me happier than I could have imagined."
Heero's face seemed to radiate from his happiness at Duo's words. Duo couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Heero's absolutely heart-felt smile and the depths of emotions in his eyes. Duo's breath caught in his throat at the total change in Heero's appearance. He looked amazing. Duo felt like he could burst into tears at the incredible sight which he suddenly realized he had been waiting for years to see. With misty eyes, he raced to close the distance between their lips and kissed Heero with as much passion and emotion that he could possibly express. Heero returned the kiss with equal urgency, his first true feeling of happiness radiating throughout his entire body, sending Heero into euphoria. Duo easily sensed the enormous level of emotion from Heero's kiss and it drove his emotions over the edge. With a quiet sob, he broke their kiss, tears falling down his face as he buried his face into Heero's neck and held on to the other boy with all his strength.
Heero just wrapped his arms around Duo and held him tightly. He understood that Duo's tears were of joy, even though he had been unaware that such a thing was possible before. No words were needed, though, he felt Duo's emotions as clearly as he felt his own. As he held the now quietly crying boy tightly to him, Heero now felt an unfamiliar sensation behind his eyes. He looked down at the boy who was clinging to him and the sensations increased and his vision became blurry. //What is wrong with my eyes? It doesn't matter, nothing else matters but Duo// Heero was surprised when he felt a wetness on his cheek and realized that the moisture had fallen from his own eyes. //I'm… crying? This is what it's like to cry?//
Duo looked up at Heero and saw the tear. He choked back another sob at the sight. With blurry vision he leaned forward to kiss the tear away and then to take Heero's lips again. His hands reached up to cup both sides of Heero's face as his tongue melded with Heero's. Heero just continued to hold onto Duo as tightly as he dared. The kiss held as much passion as either could manage to express for each other.
Duo finally broke the kiss and began to urgently shower Heero's face with kisses. Everywhere he could reach. He couldn't stop himself, the emotions were still pouring over him and he needed to touch Heero everywhere with his lips. He buried his hands in Heero's thick hair and began kissing his way down his neck. A slight moan from Heero fueled his passion even more and he groaned from the intense feelings, increasing the pace of his kisses. He reached his collarbone and his head suddenly flew back up to ravage Heero's mouth again. He pressed his body as close as possible to Heero's, feeling his erection push up against Heero's through their clothing. Both boys moaned and pushed their hips forward, reeling from the contact.
"Duo… " Heero moaned out in a husky voice that he barely recognized as his own. His thoughts were racing through his head and he couldn't get a clear grasp on any of them. He felt dizzy from the torment his body was under and the level of passion that drove him on. There was something that he needed, something that he could feel…Suddenly he felt Duo's hand rub against his hard length through his spandex. "AAAHHHHNNNN!!!!" he screamed, he was so surprised by the touch and the fire that spread through his body. He sharply opened his eyes and urgently searched Duo's, asking the question that he didn't even understand. //What is this? What's going on? What's happening to me? I need something, what is it? Gods, please help me, Duo//
"I'll show you" Duo whispered, understanding Heero's unspoken questions.
Starring into Heero's eyes, Duo continued to rub him through his spandex. Heero couldn't handle the intense feelings combined with the absolutely incredible and… hungry look in Duo's eyes that he'd never seen before. He threw his head back and let out a low moan, completely losing control of his body. Duo took the opportunity to ravish Heero's exposed neck and collarbone with his tongue. He felt Heero thrusting his hips against his hand and heard the small, confused whimpers escaping Heero's mouth as he continued to stroke the other boy.
Heero couldn't think anymore. He could only feel the amazing and completely unknown sensations Duo was creating in his heated body. Out of instinct, his hips began to thrust towards Duo's hand, wanting more of the friction against him. He could sense that something was building within him and he was vaguely aware that his body was seeking some sort of release. He was so confused by these new feelings and his lack of control over his body, but he couldn't care about that right now. All he needed was something…. Something Duo could give, something even more than this delicious friction against his shorts. It wasn't enough, it was driving him crazy and he knew he needed more but didn't know how to ask for it. He let out a soft whimper hoping that Duo would know.
Duo couldn't believe the effect Heero was having on his body. The little sounds he was making and the complete surrender of his body and his control were driving Duo crazy with lust. More than anything he wanted to give Heero the completion he was seeking. Still, he forced himself to go slowly in order to savor the experience. After one last stroke upwards against Heero's length, he hooked his fingers into the waistband of the Spandex and found Heero's lips again with his own. While kissing the moaning boy passionately, he began to slowly inch down and peel off the spandex and briefs that confined his aching need. Heero's mouth froze in the kiss as he was suddenly unable to feel anything but the fabric that was being lowered to expose his manhood. His mind was spinning at what was happening, he couldn't think straight and he was beginning to feel a little dizzy. As he felt the cool air caress his arousal, he felt himself begin to fall and instinctively moved his hand to catch himself on a nearby table. He was now panting and visibly shaking from the enormous wave of sensations.
Duo was slightly stunned when the kiss had been broken as Heero began to fall to his side with a shaky moan. Then as he looked at the shaken boy, a slight smile came to his lips. ::This is all so new to him, the one thing he can't control is his pleasure. Well, I'll take good care of him, I'll give him what he's looking for… what he absolutely needs at this point. Gods he looks sexier than anything I've ever imagined. But… I can't think about myself, this is for him. No way can I expect him to know what I want too, he doesn't even know what he wants.:: With strong, gentle arms, Duo guided Heero slowly to the floor and stretched out his body, removing the spandex completely. He then layed down next to Heero, propped up on an elbow, leaning over the other boy as he stared meaningfully into the clouded cobalt pools below him. The same questions were still in those eyes, but they were filled with even more need now as they gazed back up at him.
"It's ok Heero," He whispered, leaning his head down so that his lips were hovering inches above Heero's trembling ones. "This is what it's like to feel." With that, he suddenly grabbed Heero's length fully in his hand, squeezing it lightly while he simultaneously ravaged his mouth with a deep, searching kiss. Heero's entire body arched off the floor as his startled gasp was swallowed by Duo's kiss. Heero was completely lost again, but this time he wasn't even aware of being lost. Everything was the feelings that Duo's hand was creating as he started to pump the flesh held in his hand. As he began to increase the pace of the thrusts, Heero knew that something was going to happen to him soon. His body was thrashing uncontrollably under Duo. He felt the buildup of fire within his body and he knew that it couldn't get much bigger, his body couldn't hold this much heat. Something was going to happen… it was so close, he needed it… he was almost…"UUHHHHNNNNN…. DUO!" His hips slammed upward into that warm hand and something burst inside of him. The heat that had built up and centered at his groin shot throughout him, pulsing through his body in a glorious pleasure he had never imagined was possible. His entire body twitched with each wave of euphoria, his mind and muscles shutting down, relaxing and surrendering to the incredible feelings assaulting his body. He was exhausted, but he could only focus on this amazing feeling as his lungs raced for more air. Finally, after the pulsing had subsided, he was able to again gain control over his thoughts and he opened his eyes to look at Duo.
"Duo…" //What can I say to him? Does he have any idea what he's done to me? I've never… what should I say to him? No, I can't say anything right now, I just can't, maybe later, but not now.// Heero simply held out his hand, allowing his body to tell him that he still needed to feel the other boy against him. Duo simply smiled and held onto Heero's hand as he lowered himself to rest his head on Heero's chest, still clutching his hand. Heero savored the feel of Duo's weight on his chest and realized that his other hand had moved to stroke Duo's soft braid. He wrapped the braid around his hand and held it tightly as he tightened his hold on the boy on top of him. Now a new feeling was enveloping his body as he clutched the other boy. He wasn't sure what it was, but he knew that he wanted to hold Duo as tightly as he dared.
After what seemed like hours of laying quietly with each other, Duo lifted his head to look at Heero, slightly surprised to see that Heero was staring straight back at him. //How long has he been just staring at me?// A warm smile came to Duo's lips at the thought and he moved to gently kiss Heero's lips.
"Well, Heero, what do you think?"
"Duo, I've never felt anything like that before, it was amazing." He gently traced Duo's jawline with his finger.
"I'll bet, must have been something to feel THAT for the first time." Duo grinned slyly.
"Hn… so I guess… you've felt it before?" Heero couldn't really understand the dark feelings he was having at the thought of Duo already knowing what he had just gone through.
"Umm… well yeah, most guys our age have." Duo noticed the slight glare in Heero's eyes and wondered what could be bothering him.
Something was nagging at Heero's mind, something he definitely didn't like, but couldn't quite grasp. //What's bothering me? Why would I be upset that Duo's been through this before? It was wonderful and I should be happy that he's felt something so amazing before, I want him to be happy.// Then he was finally able to grasp what was bothering him. //I want to make him happy. I want to be the one to give him that much pleasure. So… this means someone else has done to him what he just did to me?// At that thought, Heero's eyes narrowed and his blood boiled as he unconsciously gripped Duo even harder than before. An image of Duo laying on the floor under someone, a hand wrapped around his arousal, Duo panting and moaning in pleasure, filled Heero's mind. //No… nobody else, just me, he's only for me, I'M the one to make him happy, I'll make him happier than anyone else ever could, he'll never want anyone else.//
Duo noticed the possessive look in Heero's eyes and the tightening of the grip around his waist. He put the pieces together and realized what Heero was thinking. He wasn't sure if he should be pleased with Heero's possessive attitude or worried by it. Still, he decided that he should let Heero know the truth.
"Heero… that doesn't mean I've… been with anyone before. I went through puberty learning how to fight, it never gave me much of a chance to do anything else with the war and all. And since the war… I just haven't found anyone… I guess that must have been because I had feelings for you and just didn't know it." He noticed the relieved, but confused statement on Heero's face and continued. "I… ummm… well, ya see Heero, guys can do… that… to themselves. As in alone. That's how I know what it feels like and what you wanted." Duo found himself blushing very uncharacteristically as he tried to explain to Heero what probably every other teenage boy in the world already knew. It was understandable though, Heero had been brought up trained to do missions and NOTHING else. He glanced back up at Heero to see a slightly embarrassed, but again relieved look on his face. Heero decided that he shouldn't press the issue any further and that he'd be content to know that Duo hadn't been with anyone else.
Duo was still unsure of how to react to Heero's possessive reaction. He hadn't really considered this before, but it made sense now that he did. He only hoped that it wouldn't cause problems. He decided that he didn't really want to think of that right now though, he was content being held tightly… very tightly… in Heero's arms.
After a while of resting in those strong arms, Duo reluctantly pulled himself up, giving Heero a quick kiss as he stood. He noticed a flash of… confusion… concern? In the cobalt eyes. Duo slightly chuckled at Heero's reaction.
"Did you want to stay here all day, Heero? You usually have so much work to attend to." He teased with his usual grin.
"Hn…" //I… forgot? Well, maybe not forgot, but I didn't think about that. Another strange behavior. I think I actually do want to hold him all day… but that's not practical, not at all. Not… at all… practical… but… what was it I had to do today?// Heero reluctantly stood as well, eyes downcast as he struggled with his new feelings. He already longed to touch Duo again. It was completely confusing, and somewhat scary as well. //What's happened to me? Is this what my life has become? What if I… what if I need him? What if I really can't get him out of my thoughts now? That can't happen, unacceptable. I need to stay in control. Why is this so damned difficult!?//
Heero lifted his gaze in time to see Duo flash him a quick smirk before dashing out of the room, calling over his shoulder, "I call first shower! Wanna be my bestest buddy and make lunch? I'm starved!"
"Baka" Heero mumbled under his breath, shaking his head. He didn't even realize he was smiling though.
Heero looked up from the news as he heard Duo bounding down the stairs. His breath caught as once again he saw Duo tying off the end of his damp braid as he made his way down the stairs. His mind immediately tried to picture Duo with his hair down again… but just couldn't create the picture. It frustrated him as he realized how much he wanted to see such a picture. Something that would probably change Duo's appearance so much… he was just plain curious to see the affect it would have on Duo. Even if he couldn't touch it… //Wow… I didn't even realize how much I wanted to touch that hair loose…// His fingers suddenly began to tingle as he eyed the amazingly long braid.
"Hey Heero! Smells good! Thanks a lot for cooking, this is just what I needed." Duo happily bounced over to the kitchen where two steaming bowls of noodle soup were sitting on the counter. Somehow he didn't even notice the intensity of the gaze that followed his every move.
"Duo…" Heero couldn't believe the hesitation and uncertainty in his own voice. Duo was equally surprised and pinned Heero with wide, concerned and curious violet eyes.
"Do you ever wear your hair down?" Heero tried not to sound hopeful as he spoke, but a brightness came into his eyes that Duo didn't fail to notice. Duo immediately flushed at the words though, his cheeks turning red while his face and neck paled, he quickly looked at the floor.
"Umm… well… not exactly…I mean, uh.. no… no I don't." Duo's heart began to pound as he waited for what Heero would say next. ::Don't, please don't… don't don't don't::
"It's… uhh… it would get in my way." ::don't don't don't::
Heero really couldn't understand why Duo was behaving the way he was. //Duo never sounds so hesitant… almost as if he's afraid of this subject… what could possibly be the reason for that? Still… I just have to ask…// "…Could I see it?"
Duo closed his eyes, trying to compose himself. ::Why'd you have to? I know you couldn't have known and you don't understand, but you won't understand either. I don't want to lose your trust, I don't want to make you angry, I want to make you happy… but…:: He forced himself to open his eyes again to look Heero directly in the eyes, even though it hurt so much.
"No" He whispered. ::Please, just let it go, just let it go…::
Heero's eyes grew slightly in surprise by the obvious seriousness in Duo's answer. He didn't allow too much of a visible reaction though, sensing that the subject should be dropped. Duo obviously wasn't going to give any further explanation in the matter. //What is it? Why, Duo? What aren't you telling me? Why can't you show me? Why can't you tell me? Why…// Heero felt a wave of unexpected heat in his blood, not quite anger but… it made him narrow his eyes slightly and clench his jaw.
Duo felt a lump swell up in his throat as he watched Heero close in on himself. ::I'm sorry, Heero. I know you're not used to being denied anything… and it's so rare that you ever even ask for something, especially something as simple as this. I can't believe that I've disappointed you already, please don't dwell on this though, there's nothing I can do about it. Even if I told you my reasons, which even I don't understand completely, it would hurt you even more::
Ever since the Maxwell church massacre, Duo's hair had become an extremely personal and private issue for him. Even he didn't really understand why his feelings about his hair were so intense, but he couldn't deny them. Somehow, he felt that if another person were to see him with his hair down, he'd be defenseless. Sister Hellen had been the last person to ever see or touch his hair while unbraided. She had been a person Duo trusted and loved completely. He didn't know if he refused to let his hair down for others in some sort of tribute to her memory or… maybe he just believed that nobody since then had deserved to touch the now-treasured hair. Then again, he was definitely afraid of the idea of being seen with his hair loose. He knew it was unreasonable, but he couldn't help himself. Having his hair braided, however, gave him confidence and somehow security. It was a part of him that he needed when around people. However, once Duo had accepted his hair's importance to himself, he had also made himself a promise. He's promised that when he found someone who he loved and trusted completely, someone who deserved to see everything that he had kept hidden from the world; Someone who he would not be afraid to lose his defenses with; Unbraiding his hair for that person would be a show of his own love, the most special gift that he could give, even if Duo himself was the only one who would completely understand the meaning.
Duo turned his back to Heero and slowly walked back towards the waiting soup. ::It's not like I could tell him my reasoning… yeah right. Tell him, 'Sorry Heero, you're just not special enough for that'. I just wish I didn't have to keep anything a secret from him. Oh, Heero, why did you have to ask?::
They ate their lunch in silence. Heero couldn't let go of the idea that Duo was keeping something from him, that he had been denied. //I thought that he wanted to be with me… why can't he do something for me as simple as that? What does he think I'll do? Does he think I'll make fun of him? Why doesn't he trust me? Who has seen his hair down?// Again he felt a flow of jealousy adding to his already frustrated thoughts. After lunch, Heero quickly went to his room to do some of the work he had brought home for the weekend. He realized that he was eager to be away from Duo. He remembered that earlier that day he had been worried about his nearly obsessive, newly discovered NEED for Duo. Now he just wanted to be alone again. //What's going on with me? Nothing is consistent anymore… I can't control myself. I don't want to think about this anymore, it's too damn frustrating and confusing and I'm fucking not used to any of this!// He slammed his door shut, hoping to lose himself in his work for now.
Downstairs, Duo simply sighed and shook his head. ::Better give him some time to cool down:: He slumped down onto the couch and began flipping through the channels on TV, looking for something to take his mind off of what had just happened as well.
After Heero had finished all the work he had brought home for the weekend, he was forced to return to reality once more. Shutting down his laptop, he looked around the room, which suddenly seemed very quiet. //Guess there's no point in putting this off any longer… I don't think I want to anyway. Even if he does feel he needs to keep things from me… I guess I'll just have to deal with that.// As Heero made his way down the stairs, he looked over to see Duo watching him from the couch, a hopeful look on his face. Heero felt his skin flush at the sight. He could see that Duo had been upset, and that just by coming downstairs, Heero had brightened up those amazing eyes with the hope that everything would be forgotten. //Gods… how could I have forgotten that it's HIM that I want to make happy? I put my own feelings above his and I made him upset… how could I have done that? And so soon? And over such a stupid issue. It will not happen again.//
Heero walked calmly over to the couch and sat down next to Duo, never taking his eyes away from the violet ones which grew and sparkled with hope. "Duo…" Heero couldn't think of what to say. He knew he wanted to make Duo happy, to take the uncertainty out of his eyes, to make things normal again. "… smile"
Duo blinked once, twice, tilted his head, then burst out laughing. ::I guess a guy can never change THAT much, he sure knows how to say as little as possible to get his point across when he wants to. I just never thought I'd here Heero Yuy order me to…. smile!::
As Duo continued to laugh uncontrollably, Heero relaxed with relief. He had never realized how wonderful Duo's laugh was. As he watched the boy beside him grip his sides and rock with laughter, something came over him. The vision was somehow irresistible. Before he knew what he was thinking, Heero had urgently pressed his body against Duo's, sliding one arm firmly around his waist, while bringing the other hand up to gently but firmly tilt Duo's head towards his own. Duo gasped in surprise from the sudden movement, but the gasp was quickly swallowed up as Heero's mouth came crashing down onto his. Duo quickly recovered from his surprise and melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Heero's strong back. The kiss was urgent and passionate, and when Heero pulled away, both were slightly breathless.
"What was that for?" Duo asked, trying to clear the fog from his vision.
"I…you… it just happened, I'm not sure" Heero tried to explain.
"Well, that kind of spontaneous action I could definitely get used to! That was one hell of a kiss! Hm, does this mean that every time I break out laughing I get one of those? Wow… let's go rent a funny movie!" Duo gave Heero his manic grin.
"Baka…" but Duo didn't miss the slight smirk on Heero's lips.
"Oi, now you're back to calling me names! Hmph, just can't make sense outa you, Mr. Yuy. If I'm such a 'Baka' then how come you put up with me?" He gave a quick wink. "You sure don't seem to mind my company."
"That's because you're MY baka now." Heero grinned.
Duo couldn't believe that Heero was actually teasing him like this, it was great! "Oh, there's a lovely pet-name. I sure hope you don't become too attached to it cuz there's no way you're gonna go around calling me your 'baka' in front of the guys at work. Then again, at least it's not as bad as 'pumpkin' or 'muffin' or 'darling'. Oi, can you imagine their faces if YOU said anything like that!? In fact, it might be WORTH being called something so humiliating just to hear you saying it. Then again, everyone would probably just assume that I'd brainwashed you or that you'd gone nuts. So I guess in that respect, 'Baka' would be more in character for you, but I won't stand for it, hmph! You'll just have to think of something else to call me."
"That'll work, although it's not very original."
"… let's go rent a funny movie."
Duo stared at Heero for a second before chuckling and leaning in for a quick kiss. "Sure… baka"
That night, Heero once again felt the lightness in his chest and the warmth in his heart as he stared down at the figure snuggled into his arms. They were on the couch, watching the movie they had rented earlier at Duo's suggestion. Although Heero didn't see any humor in the physical comedy of the movie, he couldn't have been happier with their selection. This was because Duo apparently found the movie hilarious and would often burst into fits laughter while still wrapped in Heero's arms. Heero marveled at the wonderful sound combined with the feeling of Duo's slender form shaking against his in laughter. Heero didn't realize it, but he was smiling more than he had ever smiled before, and it had nothing to do with what was on the screen in front of him.
This feeling was a perfect one. Although he had to admit that this wasn't the first perfect feeling he had experienced with Duo, this was a different kind of perfect. He was still in control of his body. He had no desire or need for anything more than what he had right now. He was holding the laughing and happy boy and that was everything he needed. Hearing the wonderful sounds of Duo's laughter, the proof of his happiness, he never wanted those sounds to end. That's why this was enough. He hadn't kissed Duo throughout the movie, despite Duo's original reason for renting the movie. Duo seemed to have completely forgotten about his teasing earlier anyway. They were both completely content just being so close to each other.
When the movie ended, Duo clicked off the TV with the remote, never moving from Heero's arms, which was the last thing he wanted to do. He sighed happily and snuggled even closer to Heero, enjoying the comfortable silence that surrounded them. He felt Heero's hand absently stroking his braid, but he was not reminded of their earlier argument regarding his hair. He only focused on the soothing feeling that Heero's uncharacteristically gentle action was producing.
::I wonder if I'll ever get used to how different he has become. Maybe I don't want to, I might take it for granted then. He's changed so much in such a short time, and it's all because of what he feels for me. Of course, I've got some pretty amazing feelings for him too now. Still can't believe how fast it'll all happened, but it still feels so right.::
//I can't believe how wonderful it is to be happy. It's still so strange for me to consider myself happy, but there's no way I can deny it right now. That feeling in my chest has grown even warmer in the silence. I can hear his breathing and feel it against my arm. I can feel his heartbeat against me. I can feel his soft braid under my fingers. And I can smell the mixture of shampoo, cologne, and actual skin that is Duo. He's perfect.//
After several silent minutes of simply enjoying the sensations of holding Duo against himself, a still unfamiliar but recognizable desire began to build within Heero. His lips began to tingle with the urge to be pressed against Duo's sweet mouth once again. His body began to warm and his arms, chest, stomach, and thighs began to tingle where they touched Duo. He began to breath a little deeper as he began to think about just what he wanted to do.
Duo both sensed and felt the changes in Heero, which quickly caused a similar reaction within himself. He began to slowly stroke Heero's chest through his tank top while gracefully raising his head to stare into the amazing desire-filled cobalt eyes that made his breath quicken even more and set his blood on fire. Heero stared right back into the violet eyes that were quickly becoming glazed with passion. He wished that he could stare at those amazing eyes forever, but the tingling in his lips was growing more intense and his hands were moving almost by themselves. He realized that one arm was snaking around Duo's waist while the other slowly and gently came to the back of his neck. Despite the fire and need within him, he continued to move slowly and gently as he leaned forward and pulled Duo towards him. He felt a shuddering breath leave Duo as they drew closer and the fire in his blood raged even hotter. Finally, their lips met in a gentle caress. They were both amazed by the unexpected gentleness they were both giving despite the level of desire, but the soft kiss was igniting their passions more than any desperate kiss had ever done. They could focus on each sensation racing through their bodies and both began to shudder from the level of emotions.
Duo couldn't stand it anymore and let out a loud, shaking, throaty moan that he absolutely could not recognize as his own voice it was so heavy with need. It was the sexiest thing Heero could have imagined and he began to feel a little dizzy as his head began to spin with his own inflamed desires while he let out a very shaky breath as he stared at the vision before him. He needed to hear that sound again and again. The sound of Duo's absolute pleasure caused only by him. He again lost control of his body, letting his desires take over, and right then he desired to hear Duo's moans and feel his shaky breath against his lips and his trembling body under his skin, he needed to feel Duo's hot skin against his own. He recaptured the sweet mouth and continued to taste the sweet boy he could never get enough of while his fingers slowly found their way to the top of Duo's shirt and began to unbutton the black material. As his fingers brushed against the bare skin, he was amazed at how hot the other boy's body was. Duo was breathing so heavily that he could barely continue to kiss Heero. Duo couldn't think. He couldn't control anything. Heero was treating him like the most treasured, valuable, and important thing in the universe. The fact that it was HEERO being so gentle and yet so passionate was beyond his comprehension and turning him on more than he ever thought possible. Then that wonderful mouth was no longer on his own and the amazing hands had left his chest and he had no idea how long they had been locked in the kiss or what had happened, he only tried to regain some of his breath and regain some of his senses of what was going on.
When he was finally able to focus his vision, he saw Heero sitting back on his heals, staring down at Duo with unhidden lust in his eyes. Heero couldn't believe the vision of Duo sprawled out underneath him, shirt opened, eyes half-closed in mindless pleasure, panting for breath. When he saw the focus return to Duo's eyes, he realized that he had stopped his ministrations to the other and bent down to bring his mouth to Duo's neck. He caressed the tender flesh with his lips and tongue, thriving on the soft sounds Duo was making. He wanted to learn every inch of Duo's body, which would make him make which sounds. He trailed his tongue lower, until he grazed a spot right above the connection of neck and shoulder, when he heard a sharp intake of breath. He focused his attention on that spot, making Duo moan and thrash his head to the side. Heero realized that his hands were also massaging the other boy's chest. When he brushed a nipple, he heard another change in Duo and smiled against the soft skin. He then moved to capture the nipple in his mouth, moaning when he heard the now loud and incredibly erotic sounds Duo was making. Then he thought he recognized one of the sounds… heavily coated with passion, Duo had breathed Heero's name. At the sound, Heero's gentle mouth became suddenly ravenous as he began to devour the tender nipple with his tongue, making Duo scream.
//My name… MY name. That's right, it's me who's making you feel this way, Duo. I'm the one making you moan like that and writhe like this. It's your turn now, your turn to lose control and give in to pleasure. And I'm gonna keep you there as long as I can. But I'm gonna take you even higher than this.//
With effort, Heero regained his control and slowed his mouth and returned to his gentle caress. Duo didn't seem to calm down from this though, although he was able to stop screaming and began panting heavily to catch his breath. ::I can't believe he has me so gone… am I really this hyper-sensitive to touch? No… no… it's just because it's him. He's…:: "UUNNN!!!"
Duo couldn't think anymore as he felt Heero's hand press against the bulge in his shorts. It had nearly thrown him over the edge, he was already so close. Then he felt his jeans coming undone and the zipper being lowered painfully slow over his hardness. He thrashed his head and tried to regain some of his control, but to no avail. Then he felt the cool air hit his member as it sprang from its confines and he thought he heard a small gasp from Heero. Then there were hands on his nipples again. Pinching him gently and teasing him. He moaned uncontrollably, he needed more. He wanted to tell Heero but he was too gone. He thrust his hips upward, begging for contact. He felt the hands slowly… too slowly, begin to slide down his chest, moving closer together as they crossed his stomach and continued downward. Then they were there… on him, both hands caressing him gently as they had caressed the rest of his body. It was too much, it wasn't enough. He wanted to cry but then there was a sweet mouth on his and all he could do was ravage Heero's mouth with all the passion that he felt in his body. Still, Heero's hands remained gentle and Duo couldn't stand it anymore. He was on the brink and he couldn't breath any more and he needed release, even from the sweetest torture. He pulled from the kiss and pleaded. "Please.. please Heero, I need to."
That was it, Heero lost it. The plead in Duo's voice, Duo begging for him. It was too much. He needed to give Duo everything. He finally grasped Duo's length firmly with one hand and began to pump quickly. It only took a few seconds before Duo had to let go.
With a scream that was more like a strangled cry, Duo came hard. He thrashed his head from side to side and rode the waves of pleasure as Heero watched in amazement. The aftershocks seemed to last forever, Duo still couldn't catch his breath. It was unbelievable. Finally, he was able to focus on the boy above him and he gasped at the site.
Heero was so far gone in Duo's beauty that he didn't even realize when Duo stopped thrashing to stare at him. He was shaking very visibly from the emotions and lust still coursing through him and from the site of Duo's climax. Duo saw that Heero was so close, even though he hadn't even been touched. Duo reached and suddenly rubbed his hand hard and fast against the bulge in Heero's pants. Heero didn't even know what had happened, but suddenly he had thrown his head back and the dam of lust and emotions finally broke free and he felt euphoria once more.
He then collapsed on Duo, mindless of the mess in his pants and on his hand. He couldn't have moved if he had tried. Duo was in a similar condition, as exhaustion hit them both hard and they rapidly fell asleep.
Shortly after they had fallen asleep, Heero had awoken with the groggy realization that the two of them could not fit together on the couch for the night and had carried Duo's sleeping form up to his bed, where he then immediately collapsed next to him and again fell asleep. The next morning, Heero woke to find Duo still curled against his chest and held in his arms. He studied the peaceful and beautiful sleeping face, emotions flooding his body. He couldn't decide if he wanted to kiss the other boy awake or to lay there and watch him sleep for hours just like this. Unfortunately, the incredibly strong and decisive logical part of Heero's mind told him that neither option was a good one because there was something else that needed to be dealt with first.
With a regretful sigh, Heero looked down at the mess that was still covering his chest, pants, and (as he remembered) the couch. //He'd be happier to wake up after this was all taken care of, maybe I can finish and get back to him before he does wake up.// Heero then threw his clothes into a hamper, and went off to the bathroom for a shower.
Several minutes later, Duo began to stir. Subconsciously, he reached out for the warm body that he knew should be there. Feeling nothing, he whimpered slightly and reached farther, still seeking that glorious warmth and strong body. Suddenly, he felt his body begin to tip forwards when a strong arm grabbed him around his stomach from behind him, easily pulling him backwards and against a strong, naked chest.
"Wha?" Duo struggled to open his eyes. "Wha's goin on?"
Heero couldn't stop the grin spreading across his face at how adorably confused and disoriented Duo was when he was sleepy.
"You almost fell off the bed, baka. You were reaching the wrong way."
"Was...<yawn> lookin for you."
Heero chuckled. A sound that cleared Duo's sleepiness almost completely he was still so unused to hearing it. "I figured, baka." Heero bent his head and kissed Duo on his cheek.
Duo felt something wet and smooth glide across the side of his face and smelled fresh soap and shampoo mixed with something else purely masculine as Heero bent to kiss him. He finally opened his eyes all the way and turned to actually look at Heero. He gasped.
::Wow! I never thought Heero could be more gorgeous than he already was, but... I never thought about him wet before! Have I ever seen him wet before even? I must have... must just not have noticed. HOW could I not have noticed!?::
"He... Heero... you... you... uh... took a shower?"
Heero looked at him with a puzzled statement. "Yes, just a few minutes ago, is something wrong?"
"OH! uh.. no, nothing wrong at all." ::Wish I could join him for one sometime... but of course... my hair...:: "Guess I should go get one too now that you mention it. Didn't exactly feel like getting one last night, ne?" He winked slyly at Heero.
"That was the general idea."
Duo leaned up for a gentle, lingering kiss before hopping out of bed and heading for the shower. However, midway to the bathroom, he stopped, confused, and turned back. "Ano... Heero? How'd we get up here?"
"I carried you up last night, I didn't think you'd want to be so cramped all night on the couch."
Duo beamed. "You carried me? Awwww, He-chan, that's so sweet!"
"Don't call me He-chan, baka"
"Don't call me baka, He-chan"
"Fine, fine, have it your way, sexy"
Heero opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it after a slight pause. Duo smiled. "Like that one, huh?"
"Duo, go take your shower." And Duo just laughed and bounded out the door.
"Come on Heero, please!" Duo begged with pleading eyes.
Heero couldn't help looking into those amazing violet orbs. Once he did, he knew he stood no chance of refusing whatever Duo wanted. He sighed, but said, "Fine, you win." //Remember, it'll make him happy. I'll do anything to make him happy... I just never thought that I would have to...//
"SUGOI!!! You mean you'll really go clubbing with me!!??"
Heero glared. "It'll make you happy, right?"
"YES! I promise I'll have a blast. You know you're allowed to have fun too if you want."
"I'll come if it makes you happy."
Duo nodded, then his eyes developed a wicked gleam and he smiled evilly. "We need to get you dressed."
Heero glared even harder this time and Duo could almost hear a low growl rumbling in his throat, but he just grabbed his arm and yanked him upstairs to find something to wear.
The loud, pounding beat of the music mixed with the barely audible sounds of various conversations filled the crowded dance club. The dance floor was alive with people completely lost in the music. Duo stared excitedly at the dancing people, eager to join them himself. He looked over at Heero, smiling proudly at his new boyfriend who was attracting the attention of most of the people around them.
Heero looked simply amazing in his dark blue sleeveless muscle shirt which was tucked in to faded, stone-washed jeans. It was a very simple outfit, but it fit his wild, rugged, yet beautiful features perfectly. Not to mention the way the dark blue shirt brought out his amazing eyes... ::Damn I'm a lucky bastard. Out of everyone here oggling him, I'm the one who gets to go home with him. Ha! Eat your hearts out ladies... and a few gentlemen over in the corner I see.::
"Hey, Heero, mind if I go dance for a little while? I know you're not gonna want to come with me and I won't force you to."
"You're right, I don't want to go. You go ahead though. No point in us coming here if you're not gonna enjoy yourself."
"Thanks, I'll only stay out there for a couple songs, I won't leave you alone for long, promise." Then he added a little quieter, "Not that I think you'll be left alone for long, hope you don't mind getting hit on while you wait... I don't think it can be helped, you look amazing."
Heero flushed, then his eyes narrowed with a slight glare, but before he could say anything, Duo had disappeared onto the dance floor with a cheeky grin over his shoulder. Heero tried to follow him, but he was already lost in the throng of people. He didn't have anything else to do, so he decided to go to the seats on a level slightly above the dance floor, designed to give a good view of the dancers so that he could watch Duo. He did notice several flirtatious smiles from the women he passed, but ignored them all and pushed through the crowd. He found a seat along the railing and scanned for the long braid, finding Duo easily.
Duo was obviously having a great time on the dance floor. He was completely lost in his own world of the music and bodies and movement. Heero had to admit that Duo was an amazing dancer, completely confident and simply absorbed in his dance, moving gracefully with the beat. Heero was so mesmerized watching him that he didn't hear a woman who had sat next to him, trying to ask him his name. She soon gave up, rolling her eyes and shaking her head as she returned to her friends, Heero had never even looked at her.
Then it happened. Heero was watching Duo when he saw a girl dressed in a skin-tight, very skimpy outfit tap Duo on the shoulder. Duo turned to her, still smiling and dancing to the thriving music. She was smiling too, and Heero read her lips as she shouted to Duo over the music, "You're an incredible dancer! And I love your hair! I'm Kristy, do you wanna dance!?"
Heero's blood was boiling already, but when he saw the girl wrap her arms around Duo's waist, he actually growled out loud, grabbing the edge of the banister tightly. //How DARE she! Duo's not her's to touch, to hold, he's mine. Damnit, get your hands OFF him! And why did he LET her touch him? He could have pulled away, what's taking him so long!?//
'Thanks. Sure I'll dance with ya!' Was the next thing that Heero read from Duo's lips. He couldn't believe it, his head was spinning, he was confused, he was angry, he was betrayed, he was... jealous. //What the HELL!? NO... NO YOU DON'T!// Heero briefly noted that the banister he had been clutching was now completely broken and splintered where he had gripped it so tightly. He dropped the pieces to the floor, stood up, and marched down the stairs to the dance floor. There was no need to push through any crowd this time, everyone around him had noticed what he had done to the banister and the look in his eyes and the color of his face and were rather frightened, staying as far away as possible from the furious young man.
Heero reached the dance floor, where he roughly pushed aside the dancers who hadn't been able to hear or witness his behavior and had continued to dance. Duo heard the shouts of annoyance from the dancers that Heero was pushing aside and his blood turned cold. ::No... oh Gods no, don't let it be...:: He let go of the girl he was dancing with and reluctantly turned towards the sounds, fear in his eyes. That's when he saw him, saw the look in his eyes. ::Shit... he's gonna kill me... he's gonna kill her... he's gonna kill everyone here. I hadn't thought he'd be THIS bad... shitshitshit::
Then Heero was there, standing right before Duo, staring at him with the coldest glare Duo had ever seen, it made him literally shake. ::I know I should be outraged that he's acting like this, I know I have every right to be, that he's being absolutely ridiculous and this isn't acceptable... but... shit, this is HEERO! He really could kill me::
Heero was about to do... something, he didn't even know what, he had lost control of his body, when he finally recognized the look in Duo's eyes and saw his trembling form. //Fear... he's... he's afraid of me. He's afraid of me, afraid I'll hurt him. Was I going to hurt him? Gods, I don't even know! What's happening to me? What was I about to do!?// Heero was suddenly trembling even more than Duo and he felt his stomach begin to turn. He paled and felt dizzy. Then he felt strong arms around his waist, holding him steady. //Duo? What's he doing? What's going on?//
"Heero? Heero? Heero are you ok? What's going on, Heero? Fuck, I've gotta get you out of here." And with that, Duo led Heero as quickly as possible through the dance floor, again a path had been cleared among the crowd for them. When they were finally outside, Duo sat Heero down on the sidewalk, sitting next to him, continuing to hold his side. "Heero? You ok?"
"I... I.saw.. you and her, and I... I don't know. I scared you." Heero barely whispered, "You were afraid of me."
Duo gulped, he had never seen something like this happen before. Heero had absolutely no control over these strong emotions and it was scaring them both to death. Finally, he knew he had to say something. "Yeah... I was afraid. You looked like you really were going to kill me Heero. I should have been furious with you for behaving that way, but all I could see was the look in your eyes." Duo saw that Heero was shaking again from his words. ::Maybe I should let it go, maybe I should tell him to forget about it, that it's ok. He's obviously really upset about the way he acted, but he couldn't control himself it seems. But then again... that look in his eyes... I really was scared of him. No, I have to say it. I have to tell him.::
Duo took a deep breath. "Heero... listen to me, that was not ok. You can't do that, it's completely unacceptable. I really did think you were going to hurt me and I had done absolutely nothing wrong. Do you understand that? I did nothing wrong and neither did she. You can't behave like that ever again. I can't be with someone I'm afraid of. Even if I had done something to betray you, I would never expect that kind of reaction from you. If we're going to be together, I NEED to be able to trust you. You lost a lot of that tonight, but I can tell that you obviously regret your own behavior and I don't think you were in control of yourself. But you need to learn to control it Heero. If you ever do something like that again, it won't be forgiven."
Heero had been shaking harder and harder as Duo continued to speak, letting each word sink in. //He's right, about everything. That is unacceptable. I lost control, how could I do that? And in such a horrible way? I could have HURT him!// Heero began to feel pain throughout his body. A very unfamiliar pain. His throat was swelling and it was becoming difficult to breath. Then his eyes were stinging and his face was hot and his head was throbbing. //Why am I in pain? I wasn't injured... what's going on? Since when do emotions cause such physical pain? Why are my eyes wet again? I thought that crying didn't hurt so badly, it was nice before. This hurts so much... why can't I stand it? Pain usually has no effect on me, but this HURTS!//
Duo saw the tears and felt his own eyes begin to water as well. He wished that he could say something to Heero to take away the pain, but he knew that he couldn't. What he had said had needed to be said. Yet it still hurt so much to see Heero cry. He couldn't help himself and found his arms wrapped around the shaking boy, slowly rocking him back and forth, trying to sooth him.
After a few minutes of silence, Duo finally spoke again. "Come on, we need to get home." And with that, they both stood and walked silently to their car, followed by a silent drive home.
When they entered the house, Duo couldn't stand it anymore and broke the silence. "I guess we should hit the sack, got work tomorrow and all. Goodnight, Heero."
He turned to go up the stairs and was at the bottom of them when he thought he heard a whisper of his name. He turned around slowly to look at Heero, still standing by the front door. He waited patiently for him to continue. Finally, Heero drew a shaky breath and whispered, "I'm sorry, Duo."
Duo gave a sad smile. "I know you are, that's why I'm giving you another chance. That and the fact that you do mean a lot to me." He calmly walked over and gave Heero a gentle kiss on the lips, although Heero was unable to kiss back. "We just gotta take it a day at a time, and learn from our mistakes. Goodnight."
Duo again turned to go up to his room and was not stopped this time. He lay in bed going over the events of the last few days. It had certainly been an eventful weekend; it had changed his whole life. Noticing how late it was, Duo closed his eyes and tried to concentrate on going to sleep, but found that he was already missing the warmth and comfort of Heero's arms around him at night. It was unsettling that he could already be so attached to Heero, especially after such a short time and after the events of this evening. Still, sleep refused to come to him.
Down the hall, Heero was having a similar difficulty falling asleep. So many thoughts and emotions were running through his head. There was only one thing that he was sure of, that he would not lose this second chance. The thought occurred to him that he didn't deserve it in the first place, but he was determined not to give it up. He was still discovering how much he needed Duo and although it frightened him, the thought of losing him frightened him even more. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep, but it was no use. //So this is what it's like to be lonely. Funny, I've spent most of my life alone and I'm only feeling it now.//
The next morning, Duo woke feeling that something was wrong. With a groan, the memories of last night came flooding back to him and he suddenly felt very lonely and cold in his bed again. ::This is just great… me and Heero just get together and not only are we already sleeping separately again, but I already miss waking up with him. Damn, it's Monday too, this sucks. I can see this is gonna be a loonnnnng day.:: With a frustrated sigh, he shoved the covers off of himself and stomped off to get his shower. As he walked by Heero's door, however, his frustration turned into a mixture of sadness, longing, disappointment, and hopefulness. Before he even realized what he was doing, he found his hand reaching for the doorknob to Heero's room. Shocked, he jerked his hand away, staring at the door for a few seconds, considering. Finally, he forced himself to quickly walk away and continued to the bathroom, trying to focus on anything other than everything that was spinning through his head at the moment.
Heero awoke to the familiar yet entirely unwelcome feeling of being alone. He was miserable. He had never cared for anything nearly as much as he had come to care for Duo. The knowledge that he could have been laying next to the beautiful boy right now if not for his own stupidity made Heero wince with the internal pain. Feeling sad and lonely had simply never been a part of Heero's life before now and he was certainly not accustomed to it nor was he sure how to or even if he could handle it. He realized that he couldn't go on like this. If he didn't do something to set things right, there was no way he would be able to recover from this horrible feeling.
Suddenly he froze in bed, stilling even his breathing. He could easily hear Duo walking down the hall, and from the sound of his footsteps, he was furious. //Oh no… he's angry again? Maybe he really won't be able to forgive me. Maybe he thinks he shouldn't give me another chance after all? Oh please no… he has to give me another chance… please…// Then, he heard the footsteps slow and stop right outside of his closed door. A spiral of mixed emotions flooded Heero. Part of him dreaded that Duo would enter and scream at him, or maybe he'd break it off calmly, saying it just wouldn't work. Yet, another part of Heero insisted on hoping that Duo would enter… maybe Duo missed him as much as he missed Duo. //No… he's obviously furious, and I don't even deserve that anyway…// Heero continued to hold his breath, hearing the incredibly quiet footsteps take the few steps closer to the door and Heero knew that this was it. His heart seemed to stop beating as he waited for the door to open and to face those violet eyes that would ruin him forever. But… it didn't happen. There was a pause, then the sound of those soft footsteps hastily moving away from the door and continuing on to the bathroom. Finally, Heero allowed himself to breath again. He was shaking all over and he didn't know if it was from relief or disappointment. He forced himself to calm down, refocusing on his earlier resolution. //I HAVE to talk to him, I can't let this continue.//
As Duo returned from the shower, hair already dried and re-braided (which was always taken care of before leaving the bathroom after a shower), but dressed only in a towel around his waist, he saw that Heero's door was open. He hesitated, all-too aware of what he was wearing and his mixed emotions on the situation. Would he be teasing Heero by letting him see him like this? Did he want to tease Heero? Then again, he also felt slightly vulnerable. Then AGAIN, he wasn't even sure if he liked that feeling or not! ::Damn it, what's the use analyzing it anyway? I gotta go past there one way or another… it's just really weird and I'll leave it at that.:: He tried to walk quickly past the open door, but he found he couldn't help slowing down to look inside. When he saw Heero though, he stopped, fixated in the doorway.
Heero was sitting on his bed, still wearing the clothes from the club the night before (changing clothes had been the last thing on his mind last night). He had been staring at the open door when Duo had moved into view, obviously waiting for him. His eyes locked onto Duo's and drilled into them. His statement was more serious and intent than Duo had ever seen before. Duo completely forgot about how he was dressed, Heero never even seemed to notice. Still, Duo felt himself flush under the intense stare and he shifted in the doorway. Finally, Heero spoke.
"I need to talk to you."
Duo swallowed, then collected himself, forcing his nerves to calm. "Yeah, I figured."
Duo hesitated, but took a deep breath and walked to sit next to Heero on the bed. At first he looked at his hands, which were fidgeting with his towel, but then he realized that Heero needed his full attention right then. He turned his head and once again held Heero's intense gaze, although he now found himself comforted by the cobalt depths. The emotions were clear in those eyes, and he knew he had made the right choice the night before.
"Duo, I need you." The simple statement held so much meaning and importance. They both knew that it was true. Even if not in the physical sense, Heero needed Duo, his spirit needed Duo. It was crazy, it was absurd, that after such a short time one could actually need the comfort of another, but it had happened and they both knew it. After a second to let the implications of the statement sink in, Heero continued.
"I'm not sure how I can win back your trust after last night, but I will, I have to. All I can do right now is tell you that I will NEVER hurt you. I lost control last night, and I honestly can't say what I was going to do, but when I saw the fear in your eyes, it just broke something in me. It was like I had torn myself apart, it was unbearable. I SWEAR that I will never put that fear in your eyes again." Heero had spoken these words from his own soul to Duo's, the connection made with their eyes never broken. Even if Duo hadn't known that Heero never broke his word, there was no way he could deny the sincerity in Heero's eyes. Every word spoken was the unquestionable truth.
Heero's voice grew thick with emotion as he continued. "I'll make you happy. You need to be happy. I need to see you smile, to hear you laugh, it's what been keeping me going… and I never even realized it before." He took a shaky breath. "I know you were angry this morning, I heard you. You almost came in… and I don't know if it was to end this or not. If that's what you need…" Heero broke eye contact for the first time since Duo had entered the room, staring at the floor. He continued in a soft voice. "then I'll leave. I'll move out." He again focused on Duo's eyes, both sets were now moist from unshed tears. "I do need you… but I will give you what YOU need."
Duo blinked, a tear falling down his cheek. The sight made Heero's heart burst in pain. "Heero, I was angry because I missed you so much when I woke up. I was angry that I hadn't spent the night in your arms again. I was angry because I still needed you too." Heero's eyes lit up with hope as Duo spoke, and Duo let out a burst of pure joyous laughter that was almost a sob at the wonderful sight. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Heero, squeezing him tightly. Heero returned the embrace with equal passion.
After a few minutes of silently holding each other, Heero slowly became aware of the fact that Duo was only wearing a towel at the moment. He smelled like soap and shampoo and his bare skin was soft and smooth under his hands. He began to run his hands over Duo's bare back, reveling in the feel of the pale skin. Then, he felt himself growing excited, but forced himself to remember that they both needed to be at work shortly. He pulled back reluctantly, placing a soft kiss on Duo's lips. "Come on, we have to get ready for work. Go get dressed and I'll take a quick shower and meet you downstairs."
Duo's statement became playful. "Awww… I was hoping you'd have forgotten. Then again… it is you." He winked and leaned in for what was originally meant to be a peck, but turned into a lingering kiss that tingled his lips. With a sigh, he pulled away and headed for the door. He turned around before leaving, saying with a broad smile, "I guess this day's looking up after all."
Duo couldn't decide if he enjoyed being at work with Heero now or not. He hadn't considered it before, but working side-by-side with Heero now that they were together brought some mixed emotions. At first he found it difficult to focus on the work, finding himself staring at Heero, thinking about all that had happened that weekend and all that they had…. done. Sometimes his cheeks would flush thinking about those skilled, yet inexperienced and curious hands. Then he would begin to consider all the possibilities for what was to come and he'd have to shake his head and force himself to drag his attention back to the work before his train of thought became apparent.
Heero was having some similar difficulties as he watched Duo at work. He was very unaccustomed to being distracted in such a way, but he couldn't bring himself to ignore the distraction. He wasn't sure if he wanted to. Still, he was determined to finish his work as he always had and thought as little as possible about how much he wanted to wrap his arms around the man sitting next to him.
Duo, on the other hand, had less success suppressing his desires. When he finally finished the papers he was working on, he couldn't bring himself to start on the next case before quenching at least some of his thirst. Turning to stare at Heero, he watched as the other man sat studying the papers before him. ::I never noticed how sexy he looks when he's concentrating like that. He hasn't noticed that I'm looking at him yet… good.:: Before Heero could react to his movement, Duo quickly leant forward, grabbing Heero by the shoulders, spinning him in his swivel-chair to face him, and slammed his lips down to meet Heero's. Heero gave a muffled grunt of surprise, but quickly recovered and lost himself in the kiss, wrapping his arms around the braided man. No thoughts of refusal ever entered his mind as he submitted to each of their desires. The kiss was growing in passion when…
"NANI!?" Came a surprised, slightly angered voice. Both men jumped apart and snapped to the doorway, where Wufei stood with his hand still on the doorknob, his face growing redder as they stared. Nobody spoke for what seemed like forever, until finally Heero cleared his throat.
"Yes, Wufei, is there something you needed us for?" He asked seriously.
Wufei stared at him incredulously, forcing himself to calm down before he spoke. "May I have a word with you, Yuy?"
"Hn… in private I assume?" Heero was obviously suspicious of the suggestion.
"Yes, my office."
Heero glared, his eyes narrowing. //What does he have to say to me that can't be said in front of Duo? Obviously something about our relationship, so why not include Duo in the conversation?// He was about to voice his thoughts when Duo spoke up.
"It's ok Heero, go ahead. I've got another case to start on anyway." Heero still didn't miss the warning look that Duo shot to Wufei, but he decided that he wanted to know what it was that Wufei had to say.
Heero followed Wufei silently down the hall to Wufei's private office. Since Wufei had been with Preventers nearly since the beginning of the organization, he had earned a few more perks than Heero and Duo, one being this private office. Wufei had in fact been one of the main reasons that Heero and Duo had decided to join the organization. Heero and Wufei had grown to become rather good comrades after the war. They understood each other. They had both made mistakes during the war, and had helped each other to cope with those mistakes. They kept in touch after the war and Wufei had been able to convince Heero that working for the Preventers was an honorable way to help keep the peace they had helped to create. Duo had easily agreed to the job as well. Heero trusted Wufei's judgment. He was the most levelheaded man that he knew. Aside from Duo, Heero considered Wufei his closest friend. Still, Wufei's reaction was causing Heero to grow increasingly wary of what was to come.
When they reached the office, Wufei closed the door behind them and indicated for Heero to sit, then took a seat across from him at his desk. There was a slight pause before Wufei began. "What was that, Yuy?"
"Duo and I were kissing."
" I could SEE that. May I ask WHY you were kissing!?"
Hearing the disgust in Wufei's voice, the anger began to rise in Heero's blood. He clenched his jaw, but managed to bite out. "I guess you'd say we're `together' now. You should have figured that out."
There was a long silence as both men glared at each other, the tension sizzling in the room. Heero easily sensed the disapproval in Wufei's glare and the disgust in his eyes. It was all he could do to repress his rage at his friend's reaction. Finally, Wufei broke the silence.
"It's not right Yuy. It's dishonorable. I don't approve of such a relationship at all." Heero's face was growing red, but Wufei refused to be intimidated. He had always stuck by his beliefs and he insisted on letting Heero know exactly what he thought about this. It was true that he thought of Heero as a close friend, but he would never bypass his beliefs, even for a friend. "I could have expected this from Maxwell, but not you, Yuy. Maxwell couldn't care less about honor, or what's right. He only cares about what satisfies him for the moment. You, however, have always done the honorable thing. As your friend, I see it as my duty to suggest that you end this. From your obvious anger at my opinions, I see it is obvious you will not take my advice, but it is still my hope that you will. You are a good man. Yet, I cannot associate with such a relationship. It is against my honor. If you choose to continue with Maxwell in a manner that is not purely platonic, you will have lost my respect and friendship.
Heero's blood was on fire. Hatred flowed through his veins and betrayal raced through his heart. After a minute of collecting his composure enough to form his words, he spoke, hatred blazing in his eyes. "You lost all respect from me the second you looked at me with such narrow-minded disapproval. I wish I never had to look at you again and right now I'm restraining myself from killing you." Suddenly, Heero stood, shoving his chair away and grabbed Wufei by the collar roughly from over the desk before even Wufei's quick reflexes could react. Heero locked his eyes with Wufei's, and with deadly sincerity said in a furious, but soft voice. "And if you EVER speak like that about Duo again, I can't promise that I will be able to restrain myself. He's a better man than you'll ever be and he cares more about people who have treated him like shit than about his own `pleasures.' And that's NOT just when he was in the war. He actually CARES about the people he's around. He's not just blindly following some set of honors that tells him what to think and what the FUCK is right and wrong. He lives life for what HE sees it to be. I respect him more than you'd be able to understand." He shoved Wufei roughly back into his seat. Wufei remained silent. Each had said what was to be said and both knew that this was the end of the argument. Heero quickly turned and left the room, slamming the door behind him.
Heero was so furious; he didn't notice Duo at first. Duo stood there, next to the door that Heero had just slammed, an statement on his face that Heero had never seen before. Obviously Duo had eavesdropped on the whole conversation, which didn't surprise Heero at all. But the look on Duo's face… Heero still couldn't read it. His anger was nearly forgotten as he looked at the other man. Without really knowing why, Heero grabbed Duo and held him close. When he felt the shaking in Duo's muscles, he increased his grip even more.
Duo couldn't believe what he had heard. First, he had been infuriated, hurt, and shocked by Wufei's words and reaction. But what had really impacted him was Heero's response. Duo knew the depths of Heero's respect for Wufei. He knew that Wufei and Heero had been closer than either would ever admit. He was confused that a man that Heero had respected so much could do such a thing to him. But Heero hadn't even given the friendship another thought. Heero hated Wufei now, and it was all because of his feelings for Duo. And… what Heero had said in his defense. Heero respected him that much? Duo didn't even realize it until now… but Heero's respect meant so much to him. ::I guess I thought he never really respected me. I thought he really did think I was just a loudmouthed baka. But he DOES respect me… he does. Oh Gods I never knew how much I wanted it.::
Duo clung to Heero all the harder, emotions racing through him. Finally, he broke the silence, speaking into Heero's shoulder, "You really respect me? You meant that?"
Heero nodded, even though Duo couldn't see it. "More than anyone."
"Thank you." ::For everything::
Heero kissed the top of Duo's head, nuzzling his nose in the chestnut hair. "Come on, let's go home. I can't stay here any longer right now."
Duo nodded. He needed to get out of there too.
The drive home seemed to take forever. Neither one felt the need to speak to each other. They each had a lot on their minds. Something very big had just happened in their relationship. It seemed impossible that they had been together for such a short time. Already they had been through so much, and most of it had been very difficult. How were their lives going to change? They hadn't really realized the impact of their decision before now. Would they lose any of their other friends? What if one of them wasn't willing to sacrifice what would be needed for the other?
As Heero drove, Duo looked over at him. He studied the young man's face, wondering what they had gotten themselves into. ::Is it worth it? He's already lost one of his best friends… no… no what am I thinking? After what he did for me in there, after what he said… after I realized how much it meant to me. He means a lot more to me than I had admitted to myself:: The realization was frightening, Duo couldn't deny that. ::But what about what happened at the club? I can't let myself fall… not right now. I have to remember that. Now is not the time for emotions this strong. I need to be the one in control here. This is all new to Heero. He's confused enough as it is. I need to be able to handle this::
When they got home, they remained silent until they closed the door behind them. Despite himself, Duo found his arms suddenly wrapped tightly around Heero's neck. Before he could stop himself, he was desperately showering kisses along Heero's neck and breathing heavily in his passion for the other man. He was dimly aware of the fact that he had told himself to stay in control, but his body and soul refused to listen to that. He needed to show Heero what he was feeling right then. He automatically pressed the length of his body fully against Heero.
Heero was equally fueled in his passion for Duo at the moment. Perhaps he had not hesitated in his response to Wufei, but the impact of his words had caught up to him. He knew that what he had said was the absolute truth and that he didn't regret one word of it. Which meant… that his feelings were larger than he had realized as well. Everything he was feeling was so impossibly overwhelming. So large that Heero sensed no trace of the trained soldier within him. Everything right now was about the young man is his arms and this amazing and almost painful feeling ripping through his chest screaming to him that he needed to keep holding onto Duo. That he couldn't let him go.
Their mouths found each other and they tried to express the level of emotions they were feeling in their kiss. It was unbelievable. The connection between their souls was made and each felt the others emotions. Combined with their own, it was too much. Duo suddenly choked back a sob, trying desperately to continue the kiss. This made the feeling in Heero's chest flame higher than ever before, and it truly was painful. He couldn't handle it anymore and broke off the kiss, gasping for air. Duo crushed his head into Heero's chest, his body shaking.
After several long minutes of holding each other, trying to regain some sort of control on the situation, their eyes finally met. Duo could see all the questions in those cobalt depths. Questions he didn't think he could answer.
"Duo, what is this? What's happening?" Heero whispered.
:: I don't know Heero. I have an idea… but I don't know if it's right. It couldn't be…. Could it? Is this… NO! No it's not. It can't be. I have to remember we've only been together this weekend:: A small but insistent voice reminded him that that wasn't true at all though. He and Heero had been together for years, maybe they just hadn't realized it. ::NO! I won't say it. What about what happened at the club?:: A small cold, dark feeling crept through Duo's chest at this thought. ::Yes, I was right. It's not that. It's not complete, so it can't be that::
"I don't know what this is Heero. It's pretty big though. You mean so much to me right now. What you did for me, I can't even explain what that meant to me." He kissed Heero again, much more gently, less urgently, but very meaningfully. "But I think you have an idea."
"I meant everything I said, Duo…"
Duo silenced him with another kiss. "I know, believe me, I know. That's why it means so much to me." They held each other for a while longer, again considering what had happened that morning. Finally, Duo spoke again. "What do you think the others are going to say? I mean, Hilde was happy for us, but what about Quatre and Trowa…" Duo's voice was heavy with sadness at the thought of losing his friends. Quatre was especially important to him. They had grown to be good friends during the war and he still considered the other ex-pilot as one of his best friends, although they rarely had the opportunity to actually see each other. Heero seemed to pick up on Duo's thoughts.
"Do you want to call Quatre? Maybe it's best that we tell them now. At least we'll know where they stand."
Duo took a shaky breath. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's just… it'd hurt so much if he… no… no Quatre will be fine with this. I'm sure he'll be happy for us. As a matter of fact… he'll be mad at me for not telling him sooner. He'll want to congratulate us." Duo sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than anyone else.
"Do you want me to make the call with you, Duo?"
Duo hesitated for a moment. Then, he decided that this would definitely be easier if Heero was there with him when he told his friend about the two of them. "Yeah, I think that might be best, thank you."
Heero kissed him lightly before they went to use the vid-phone, sitting in front of it together. With a sigh of resolve, Duo punched in Quatre's number.
"Hey, Duo. Oh! Hey Heero, haven't seen you in a while."
"Hello, Quatre." Heero offered.
"Hey, looks like you guys are at home. Shouldn't you both be at Preventers right now?" Quatre never missed details like that.
"Well, we were, but we left early." Duo stated nervously.
"Oh, what happened? Is everything all right?"
"It's a long story, but it is kind of why we called you. Do you have some time right now?"
"Sure, Duo. This sounds serious, what's going on?"
Duo took a deep breath. ::No point in beating about the bush. Don't worry, it's Quatre, he'll understand. He's the most sensitive guy I know. Wufei's reaction was an extreme. I wouldn't be worried about this at ALL if it hadn't been for that. I'm just being paranoid, it's ok. I won't lose him. Just tell him the good news::…. "Well, Heero and I… we… uh…"
Suddenly Quatre's face lit up in a delighted smile. "You two finally got together!?" He blurted out excitedly. Then, when he noticed the shocked expressions on Duo and Heero's faces, he quickly covered his hand over his mouth. His face grew beat red. Thinking he had guessed wrong, he was utterly humiliated with himself. "Oh gods, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that. Duo, Heero, please don't be mad at me! I just, I mean… I thought… I mean… I sensed… I mean… oh Gods, what have I done?"
Thankfully, Duo interrupted Quatre's humiliated rant with that wonderful laugh that brought a smile to Heero's lips as well. "Oh Quatre, no no… it's ok. You're right, we did get together. We were just surprised that you knew. How'd you know?"
Quatre looked as if he might pass out from his relief. "Oh thank Gods! I really thought that I screwed up there…. Wait… so you really are together then?" His smile grew wide again. "Oh, Duo, Heero, I'm so happy for you! When did it happen?"
Duo laughed again. This time he was so happy that he felt the beginnings of tears behind his eyes. "Oh Quatre, you have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that! It just happened this Friday. But really, how did you know?"
Quatre's smile turned to a sly one. "Oh come on Duo. How do you think? Even without my space heart I would have been able to see this one coming. You two are perfect for each other. I knew it should only be a matter of time. I was just worried Heero wouldn't know what it was when he felt it. At any rate, I was able to see the link between you two long ago."
Surprisingly, Heero spoke up. "Actually, you were right Quatre. I didn't know what it was when I felt it. I just followed it." He turned to Duo, a small smile forming on his lips. "Duo helps me though. I think I'm learning."
Although Quatre had been prepared for the news about the couple, Heero's actions were a total shock. He was initially surprised that Heero had chosen to speak up, but when he saw the young man smile, he gasped aloud. It wasn't just the smile, he could tell in all of Heero's body language and in his voice how much he had changed. Slowly he smiled again. This was better than he had even hoped.
"Well, congratulations to both of you." Then his tone changed as he remembered something from earlier. "But this wasn't the reason you came home early from work, was it? Why did you…" Quatre suddenly thought of something as his eyes grew sad. "… Wufei."
Duo, sighed. "Yeah. Let's just say he didn't take it the same as you did."
"I'm so sorry. Heero, I know you two are close. His clan… it wasn't accepted. It's how he was raised; it's in his honor. I wish I could have warned you about it."
"We are not friends any more." Heero stated flatly. His arm moved to encircle Duo's waist protectively at the thought of what Wufei had said.
Quatre accepted this with a sad nod. He had not realized that it would have had to come to that, but the more he sensed the changes in Heero, the more serious he realized the situation was.
"I understand." There was a slight pause before he added. "Well, I can see why you wanted to call me, then. Don't worry, I don't think any of your other friends will react that way. I know Trowa won't, that's for sure. He's actually asked me if you two were together yet… Yeah, even he could tell. I'm sure he'll be happy to hear the news."
Duo gave another relieved sigh. "Thank you Quatre. You really don't know how much I needed to hear this." He looked up to see Heero's relieved statement as well. "How much we both did."
Quatre smiled. "I'm just glad I didn't really let the cat out of the bag. That would have been horrible."
Duo laughed. "If you had said that to us about four days ago… it probably would have been…. You don't know any other secrets about us that we don't know yet, do you?"
"Nope, I promise. Well, I should get back to work now. Congratulations again! Hopefully I'll be able to come visit sometime when work's not so busy."
"Can't wait Quatre. I'll talk to you later."
Duo fell into Heero's arms when the screen went black. "Thank Gods, Heero, I was so worried."
Heero stroked Duo's braid. "Apparently we didn't need to be. He really is happy for us and it sounds like Trowa will be too."
"I never realized how much they mean to me until I was afraid I'd lose them."
"Do you want to call Trowa now?"
"Yeah, I think I need to hear it from him too, even if Quatre did say he would be happy for us."
They spent the next few minutes talking to Trowa, who was indeed happy for them, although not as enthusiastic as Quatre had been. Afterwards, both of them felt much better about the events from the office. In fact, considering the amount of work they had to do, they decided they really should return to headquarters. Knowing that they still had friends behind them, it was not so difficult. They also found it much easier to concentrate on their work than before. They found comfort in each other's presence, but were not as distracted as they had been earlier. Rather than passion, they could feel the comfort between them as they worked.
As the weeks went by, Duo and Heero realized they were truly growing closer. They were learning more about each other every day. Heero had even been willing to tell Duo about his past, something he had never told anyone before. Heero's stories moved Duo to tears, and made his bond to the other man that much stronger. Duo developed a sense of protectiveness for Heero after hearing these stories. Heero had never known childhood. Had never experienced innocence. His life had been the war, even before the war had started. Duo felt the powerful urge to protect Heero. Not the soldier, but the boy who had never been allowed to live. He wanted to show Heero how to live.
Heero, alternatively, had been amazed by Duo's tales of his past. He too found himself trying to protect the small child that had grown up on the streets. That child had never died, and he wanted to ensure that he never would. Heero couldn't understand how the life on the streets had not broken Duo's spirit. Somehow it had only made him stronger. His respect for the other young man grew with each tale from the past. Heero had never realized how truly strong Duo was.
One day, they were sitting together, snuggled on the couch as usual, when Heero suddenly asked. "Duo, have you ever loved someone?"
Duo froze, catching his breath. He paused, thinking hard about his answer before he spoke. "That depends on what you mean by love, Heero. There are different kinds of love."
"There are? What are they like?"
"… Well, There's the love for a friend, the love for family, and the love for… lovers. Each have different feelings, but they're all love." He hesitated before continuing. "Love is like feeling like you'd give your life for the other person. Their happiness means everything to you and their sadness rips you apart. I can't really describe it, it's just a feeling that takes over everything about you. The thing about love though, is that it has to be total. You can't partially love a person. You have to love everything about them. That's why it's so rare. And so beautiful."
Heero was quiet for a very long time. "So you know what it's like then? You've loved someone?"
Duo felt a lump in his throat; he tried to swallow it before he continued, chocked with sadness. "Yes. I loved Sister Helen and Father Maxwell. When they died, I felt like I had died too. That's another thing about love, the pain of losing it will never go away. A part of me really did die with them."
Heero tightened his grip around Duo, trying to sooth him. He placed butterfly kisses along his cheeks, but offered no words. He knew that Duo didn't need words right then. After a few moments, they were still and silent again.
//Is this love, then? Is that what I've been feeling? At first I thought it was just happiness, but sometimes it's pain too. Duo says that love can be painful, though. Is it really love? Wouldn't Duo have told me if it was, though?//
::Oh Heero. I wish I could, but I can't. It's just not complete, and I can't lie to you:: He recalled several instances in the past weeks when Heero's hold around his waist had squeezed a little too tightly and his eyes had narrowed a little too threateningly when people had looked at Duo. The other boy was protective, but he was also possessive, even if he didn't realize it. Duo had tried to tell him that he had nothing to worry about, but Heero simply didn't realize he was doing any of it, so he couldn't stop himself. Of course nothing similar to the club incident had happened again, Heero had promised him of that. Still, the blaze of jealousy in those cobalt eyes when Duo was talking to someone else, sent chills down his spine. Not that Heero ever tried to stop Duo because of his jealousy, but it was still there. When they were here, like this, everything seemed perfect, but it still wasn't complete.
They continued to sit in silence. Each weighing what had been said, and more importantly, what hadn't.
Nearly a month later, Heero and Duo found themselves at home one Saturday night with no idea of where to go. Both wanted to get out of the house, despite all the possibilities staying in would provide. After living together as a couple for over two months, they found that they spent MANY weekends taking advantage of those possibilities. Not that either had any complaints about this. Their passion for each other was still just as strong, and although they had never gone any further sexually than they had within the first week of their relationship, both were completely satisfied with what they had. They did not even fool around every day. Some nights they would only desire to be held and talk to each other as they fell asleep. This night seemed to be one of those nights as both of them tried to think of someplace for them to go out to for the night.
"I'm too restless to sit through another movie tonight." Duo said as they tried to decide.
"We could go to the game center and do laser tag again." Heero offered.
"I considered that, but you start going `Perfect Soldier' whenever we do something that you can use your training for." Neither one of them wanted that.
"Hn, point taken."
Duo thought for a while longer before he reluctantly offered, "Well… ya know… we COULD go out clubbing or something…" They hadn't been out to a club since that first horrible experience during their first weekend together. Duo hadn't been worried that Heero would lose control again, he had Heero's word that he wouldn't, but he hadn't wanted to bring up the subject. Still… that had been two months ago and Duo really did love to go out to clubs. Besides, they had come so far since then… he shouldn't let something like that continue to interfere with their lives.
Heero raised his eyebrows slightly at the suggestion and felt a pang of guilt at the memory that it invoked, but like Duo, he was determined to put that incident behind them. //He used to go clubbing every other weekend before we got together and he hasn't gone since that one time… he probably misses it. This is probably the perfect thing to get his energy out too, and I'd definitely enjoy watching him dance again.// "Sounds good to me, let's go get changed."
Duo beamed at Heero. ::He really is so great to me. He's always done anything to make me happy. I try to do the same for him, but I wonder if I'll ever be able to live up to his example. I still can't believe how much he's changed since we've been together. It really is as close to perfect as I'd ever thought it could get.:: He leaned in for a lingering kiss before he spoke. "Thanks, Heero."
Heero knew that Duo was referring to more than his agreement. He smiled at the braided boy in his arms and nuzzled his neck before breaking away and leading them both upstairs to change.
They sat together at a small table of the noisy club, drinks in hand, observing their surroundings. Duo, for the time being, was simply happy to be in such an active atmosphere, letting it all sink in before he would go to dance. He was also enjoying just watching Heero as he slowly began to actually enjoy himself. He was beginning to relax and Duo could tell that he was listening to the thrashing beat of the music, letting it run through him. Duo could sense Heero's increasing comfort, which made him extremely happy. He was worried that Heero wouldn't enjoy this at all, although he knew that he would never complain even if he didn't. ::Maybe I could even get him to dance with me? Would that be pushing my luck? Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to ask, at least when I feel like going out there myself::
Just then, Duo caught sight of a very attractive woman wearing a very revealing outfit heading towards them. For a split second he began to panic, afraid of Heero's reaction if the girl began to flirt with him, but then he saw that the girl was looking directly at Heero, not him. ::Hmm… wonder what he's gonna do..?:: He watched as the girl came up and touched Heero's shoulder to get his attention.
"Hey, wanna dance?"
Heero looked up at her and Duo could tell that he had not expected something like this. "No thanks."
The woman smiled at him. "Aww, come on. You're way too hot to just sit in the corner all night. Please?" As she talked, she absently trailed a finger up and down Heero's neck.
Heero was completely shocked. //What? Why'd she say something like that? And why is she touching me like that? Duo's the only one who's ever said stuff like that to me or touched me like that. I usually feel shocks whenever Duo touches me neck, but I feel nothing unusual now. Why is my body reacting so differently to the same touch?// Heero was still thinking about this as the woman continued.
"I'm sure your friend here wouldn't mind if I stole you for a few minutes, would you?" She asked Duo as she began rubbing Heero's arm with her other hand.
At this, Heero looked up to meet Duo's eyes. To his confusion, Duo was smiling smugly and seemed rather amused by the whole situation. "Nah, I don't mind."
Heero continued to stare at Duo. //He seems so… smug, so… proud? If I were in his place, I'd be angry at the sight of someone hanging all over him . Doesn't he care? Why doesn't this bother him? Someone else is touching me… is hitting on me… and he actually seems to be enjoying the situation. Why isn't he angry?// Then, suddenly, the answer hit Heero full force as he finally understood… //He's not angry because he has no reason to be angry. I'm not betraying him at all and her attention is not affecting me at all. Only he can affect me like that. Only he can… // As Heero's eyes remained locked with Duo's, they began to relax in understanding and a small smile crept onto his face, which was mirrored by Duo.
"Well, what do you say? Gonna dance with me?"
"Sorry, I'd rather stay here for now."
She sighed, "Well, let me know if you change your mind. Sorry to bother you guys."
After she left, Heero stared at Duo for a long while. Duo still had an amazingly smug statement on his face, which still made Heero a little curious. "What?"
Duo's smirk broadened and Heero felt a hand squeeze his thigh under the table. "I just love the fact that the hottest man in the room is here with ME. Everyone else wants what I have…" Duo leaned over close to Heero's ear, running his hand up and down his thigh, "but they can't get it."
"You're right, nobody stands a chance against you." Heero leaned in to kiss Duo's neck, pulling back reluctantly since they were in public. //He has so much confidence in me, in my feelings for him. Of course, he has a right to be. He must have known what I was thinking all along. He knows… because… because that must be how he feels when it happens to him. I'm the only one that can affect him just like he's the only one that can affect me// At this thought, Heero's chest swelled with happiness and he couldn't help but feel a little smug as well.
They finished their drinks in silence, again watching the crowd on the dance floor and becoming lost in the music. Eventually, Duo couldn't contain his growing energy any longer and he stood up. "So, any chance you'd like to dance with ME, Heero?"
"I might be persuaded." Heero challenged with an evil smile.
"Oh? And what would I have to do to convince you?" Duo asked innocently as he moved forward to run his fingers through Heero's hair.
"I'm sure you can think of something."
Duo grinned and leaned forward. "Oh, I've thought of some things… but I'm afraid they'll have to wait until we get home." He stroked Heero's neck the same way as the woman had done earlier, but this time, Heero's shivered from the touch. "So how about that dance?"
Heero shook himself to break Duo's trance. "I think you've convinced me."
When they reached the dance floor, Heero felt the rhythm pound through his blood. As he was surrounded by the sea of dancing bodies, he let the music take him over. He wrapped his arms around Duo's waist and locked eye contact with the other boy as they began to dance together. Duo was surprised at how comfortable Heero seemed on the dance floor. He was a natural. Again his pride surged through him as he caught the jealous glances they were receiving from some other people on the floor. Heero also noticed these and just smiled and pulled Duo closer to him.
After about half an hour on the dance floor, they decided to take a break. Heero offered to go get them some drinks as Duo returned to the table. When Heero returned with the drinks, he saw that Duo was not alone at the table. This time, three girls had surrounded Duo and were giggling loudly at something. One of the girls was lightly touching Duo's arm with her fingertips as she leaned close to him to say something. Duo smiled at her and nodded. He then looked up and made eye contact with Heero.
Heero was smirking at him. //Well, these girls have good taste, that's for sure. And they don't even know the half of it… // He went to take his seat, which the girls had left open, handing Duo his drink.
Duo stared at him as he approached. ::He doesn't have that anger in his eyes. This is the first time I've been able to talk to someone without him getting jealous. Finally… he understands. I can't believe it… he really does understand. Well it sure did take him long enough! Of course I only have eyes for you, baka! You don't need to be jealous because there's no reason for you to be. But you did figure it out… you do understand…:: Duo beamed as Heero handed him his drink
"Thanks. Ladies, this is Heero. Heero, this is Amber, Stef, and Carol." He introduced, indicating each of the girls around their table. Amber, who was still touching Duo's arm, barely looked at Heero as he sat down, Stef nodded to him with a cheerful smile, but Carol couldn't stop staring at Heero and her face seemed to flush as she continued to check him out.
The three girls spent the rest of the evening with Heero and Duo. Duo seemed to be the leader of all of the conversations, which usually led to outbreaks of laughter from all of the girls and a smirk from Heero. Carol managed to move as close to Heero as possible while Amber never seemed to let go of Duo's arm. Duo and Heero, however, kept sneaking knowing smiles to one another. In a way, it was as if they were conducting an experiment, and the results were very encouraging. Duo sensed nothing but pride and confidence from Heero, which was exactly how Duo was feeling himself as he watched Carol pining over Heero. At the end of the night, when Carol and Amber asked for their phone numbers, each politely explained that there was "someone else". They didn't want to explain the truth, knowing that the girls would think they had been toyed with.
As Heero drove back home, Duo stared at him with a smile on his face. He felt that a small dark cloud had finally been lifted in their relationship…. The only cloud. It seemed like such a small thing, but it was so important to Duo. Heero finally understood how Duo felt about him. He finally trusted Duo to always remember him. And he trusted Duo's feelings for him. Then suddenly, Duo realized that those feelings had grown even stronger after tonight. With that darkness gone, it was complete.
When they got home, Duo remained silent as he followed Heero into the house. Heero sat down on the couch and Duo followed, cuddling up into Heero's welcoming arms. They remained quiet for a long time, just drinking in the change that both of them could sense. ::This is it. This is perfect. Yes perfect. It's absolute, it's right, and it's time, it's finally time:: Duo raised his head from Heero's chest to look deep into his cobalt eyes. He gently pushed Heero's bangs out of his eyes with his fingers, but kept his hand buried in Heero's thick hair as he continued to gaze into those amazing eyes. He found that he wasn't nervous at all as he said what he had been secretly wishing to say for so long.
"I love you, Heero."
Something snapped in Heero. Something crashed and broke and melted in Heero. He didn't know how long he'd been wanting to hear that, he didn't know when it had come to mean the world to him. But suddenly he realized that it did. //He loves me? He LOVES me!? I'm loved… and by DUO! The man who means the world to me loves me! Nobody has ever loved me in my entire life. Has it always meant this much to me? Of everything I've ever felt with him… nothing's been this big. I feel like my chest really could explode..// Heero choked on a sob as he felt it all crash around him. He lunged forward and grabbed Duo to him as tightly as he dared. "I love you too, Duo… so much" He didn't even have to think about his response, it was automatic.
Duo could feel the emotions emanating from Heero and it was almost too much for him. He clutched fiercely to Heero for a moment longer before frantically pulling his head back to meet Heero's lips. It was a crazed, passionate, and desperate kiss. The emotions and love pouring between the kiss intensified it to a level that made both boys dizzy. Duo pulled away, panting, and stared seriously into Heero's eyes.
"I love you and I trust you entirely, Heero. I want to show you something."
Heero remained completely silent and let his arms fall limply on his lap as he stared at Duo. Duo never broke his eye contact as he reached behind his back. When he brought the end of his braid around in front of him, Heero's eyes began to grow with surprise and hope. Duo leaned forward; kissing him briefly, then picked up Heero's hand and brought it to the end of his braid. Heero glanced down at the braid in his hand, his fingers resting on the elastic band that held the brain together before returning his eyes to Duo's looking for some sort of confirmation. He had sensed that Duo's braid was VERY important to the young man and had long ago accepted the fact that he would never be allowed such a privilege as Duo seemed to be offering now. He needed to be sure. Duo understood and smiled and nodded once, giving Heero permission.
Heero felt the back of his eyes begin to sting, but ignored this. He lifted the hand that wasn't holding the end of the precious braid to the top of Duo's head. His eyes followed as his hand slowly traveled to caress the entire length of the braid, marveling at its texture. When this hand stopped to rest with the other at the end of the braid, he held his breath as he gently removed the elastic band. He paused slightly, still staring at the hair in his hand before finally beginning to unbraid the hair. He worked very slowly, unbraiding inch by inch. As he neared the top of the braid, he saw Duo's face for the first time since his task had begun. Duo's eyes were locked on him, a gentle smile on his face and his violet depths shimmering from unshed tears. Heero leaned in for a tender and loving kiss as he finished the unbraiding. He then pulled back to take in the sight before him as he was finally able to run his fingers through the thick mass. It was all he could do. He simply continued to run his fingers through the entire length of hair again and again, while committing the feeling and the sight before him to memory. He couldn't get enough of the feeling or the sight and he didn't know which was better. Combined, it was truly unbelievable. He knew, somehow, without a doubt, that he was the first person to touch Duo's hair in a very, very long time. It was a show of Duo's love for him that he was giving Heero this privilege. He wasn't sure why Duo's hair was so private to him, but now Heero was glad that it was. This was something that would only be shared between the two of them and he knew it. It was so special… and it meant so much.
"You're so beautiful, Duo." Heero finally breathed out softly.
Duo reached up and pushed a wild bang out of Heero's eyes, "So are you, Heero."
Heero pulled Duo towards him, holding his back tightly as he kissed him deeply. Duo curled tightly against Heero as they continued to kiss passionately, his arms encircling Heero's neck. He felt Duo's body shift and felt his body being raised, pressed tightly against that strong chest. Heero picked him up effortlessly, never moving his lips from Duo's. He could feel the loose hair flowing around both of their bodies as Duo was lifted. He found the strength to carry his love without stumbling despite the pleasant distractions offered from the kiss and the feel of Duo's hair caressing his bare arms. He carried Duo up the stairs and into his room, where he laid Duo down gently on the bed, letting his own body come to rest gently on top of the slimmer one. Finally, the kiss was broken and Heero lifted himself slightly to look at the sight below him.
Duo lay flushed on the bed, his hair flowing around him, breathing in small, shallow pants. His eyes were locked onto Heero's as they continued to stare at each other, each caught in a spell. //This is so different. We've been in this position before, but… it's so different now. There's something new in his eyes and I feel something different.//
"I love you so much, Heero."
That was it, Heero understood. That's what was so different. There was love now; pure and complete. This was something entirely new. "I love you, Duo." Each time he heard those words and each time he said them in return, he felt a new jolt of emotion surging through him. There was a vulnerable feeling, but it was a welcomed feeling. He could be vulnerable with Duo. Duo had complete power over him and he couldn't have been happier. They belonged to each other now, and they both knew it.
Duo was searing with passion. It was coursing through him in a way he had never known before. He knew now. This was right. This was what he'd been waiting for. He lifted his hand to cup Heero's cheek and whispered, "Make love to me, Heero."
Heero felt his chest tighten and his heartbeat quicken at the sound of those words. He felt a moan slip from his lips. His body screamed at him that this was right, that it was what he wanted. He knew that he wanted to give this to Duo, he wanted to give everything to Duo. He just… wasn't sure….
"I'll show you." Duo whispered, understanding his uncertainty and leaning up to capture Heero's lips again. Heero couldn't believe how well his koi understood him. He was so grateful for the boy he loved who was held in his arms. He stroked Duo's sides as he continued to kiss him, feeling Duo's wonderful hands trailing all over his back.
Duo pulled away to trail kisses down Heero's sensitive neck, stopping to suck on certain spots he knew drove Heero crazy. Heero moaned deeply in response, helplessly rubbing his hips against Duo's. Duo hissed in pleasure against Heero's neck, exciting the wet skin even more. Duo quickly dropped his hands to grab the bottom of Heero's shirt, insistently tugging it upwards. Heero reluctantly lifted his upper body away from Duo in order for him to remove the shirt. As soon as the shirt was discarded, Heero dove down to attack his lover's neck. Duo's back arched and he gasped loudly as Heero latched his mouth onto his sensitive spot where his shoulder met his neck. Duo gripped tightly to Heero's back as Heero continued his assault, small whimpers and gasps continuing to escape his mouth. Heero was drunk on the sounds Duo was making, he could never get enough of them. He started to unbutton Duo's shirt quickly, moving his mouth to kiss and nip the skin as it was exposed.
Duo clutched the bed sheets tightly as Heero kissed down his chest. When the shirt was completely unbuttoned, Heero pushed it open and rubbed each of Duo's nipples with his thumbs. Duo's head slowly arched back as Heero continued to tease him. A soft groan escaped his lips. Then Heero suddenly pinched his nipples, causing him to hiss before Heero swooped his head down to suck on a sensitized bud.
"Heero!" Duo panted as he dug his fingers into Heero's hair. Heero then moved on to his other nipple with similar treatment. Duo began to rub Heero's arms up and down as he tried to control his body. Suddenly, he felt strong hands grip his wrists and his arms were stilled. His arms were lifted over his head and he felt shivered with the delicious feeling of vulnerability. Heero lifted his head from Duo's chest to look at him as he held his arms above Duo's head, pinning them down. He nearly moaned at the sight below him. Duo was panting below him, hair spread below him, his arms raised above his head, his shirt hanging open and loose, and his eyes heavy with passion. He released Duo's arms, and Duo didn't even try to move them from where they were. Heero smirked, then slid his hands slowly down Duo's arms, down his sides, and down his thighs to where he was straddling the other boy. Never breaking eye contact, Heero then began to move his hands back up Duo's body. His hands slid under Duo's open shirt and pulled the material up as his hands continued to move. Duo arched his back slightly to allow his shirt to be pulled up his back. Heero's hands continued all the way back up Duo's outstretched arms, bringing the shirt along with them. After the shirt was thrown to the floor, Heero bent to recapture Duo's lips as he let his naked chest connect with Duo's. Their skin was on fire everywhere skin touched skin and they moaned into each others mouths as the passion was enflamed even higher.
Duo's hands moved lower on Heero's back until they were caressing his lover's muscular ass. He gripped the globes firmly and ground their erections together, making them both groan in pleasure. He then slid his hands around Heero's hips and slipped them between their two bodies. He found the button on the jeans and flipped it open before slowly lowering the zipper. He rolled them over so that Heero was on the bottom before breaking their kiss. He stood up and quickly removed Heero's shoes and socks while toeing off his own boots, before pulling off his lover's pants and boxers slowly. He watched memorized as each inch of pale skin was revealed to him. Finally, Heero lay naked on the bed, staring longingly up at his love, feeling the heat of his gaze. Heero then sat up, crawling sensually over to Duo, making the other boy weak in the knees. Heero stopped in front on Duo, then sat back to place his hands on the waist of Duo's pants. He slowly unbuttoned and unzipped them, staring up into Duo's eyes. He then leaned over to kiss Duo's stomach as he hooked his fingers over Duo's pants and boxers and lowered them to reveal Duo's desire. When the pants pooled around Duo's ankles, Heero moved back to allow Duo to bend to slip out of his pants while pulling off his socks. When Duo straightened again, Heero raised up on his knees to capture his lips in a gentle kiss as he wrapped his arms tightly around his love. They both moaned as their erections rubbed against each other and began to grind their hips together. With a growl, Heero pulled Duo towards him and they fell back together on the bed.
As their naked bodies lay flush against each other, each felt the fire run through their veins. Duo's unbound hair covered them both in a gossamer blanket, which Heero continued to run his fingers through. Duo again began trailing kisses down Heero's neck and chest, stopping to nip and suck on Heero's nipples while running his hands everywhere he could reach. Heero threw his head back, gripping handfuls of Duo's hair tightly like a lifeline, his breath hissing through clenched teeth. Duo smirked and released a nipple, continuing downward. Heero's eyes shot open and he stared down at Duo, shaking slightly as Duo neared his aching need.
Duo hovered above Heero's erection, breathing hotly on it, causing Heero to moan loudly at the sensation. His hands stroked Heero's thighs as he looked up into Heero's eyes. "I've been waiting for this, love."
Without breaking eye contact, Duo slipped out his tongue to taste his love for the very first time. As his tongue touched the head of Heero's erection to taste the drop forming there, Heero gasped loudly, trying to buck his hips only to find that Duo's hands held his hips firmly in place. He moaned loudly as Duo circled his head with his hot tongue before moving to the base of his cock to lick slowly up the underside and across the top. Heero bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming at the amazing feelings. He couldn't believe that such pleasure could exist. He was slowly losing his mind when all of a sudden he felt Duo plunge his mouth down on him, swallowing him to the hilt.
"AHNNN!!! DUO!!!" Heero screamed loudly, thrashing his head against the pillow, gripping Duo's hair as tightly as he could. His eyes were squeezed shut as he felt the amazing wet heat surrounding his entire length. "Gods…" He whispered as the initial shock wore off, his body still shivering from the feelings. His body was screaming that he needed Duo to start moving or he would surely die from the torture. He tried again to move his hips, but they were still held firmly still and his strength had escaped him. He was bursting with need and a soft whimper left his lips. "Please, Duo."
At those words, Duo moaned around Heero's length, sending vibrations around Heero's length that made Heero scream out again, "PLEASE!! DUO!!" Duo felt the cries go straight to his groin and he was dizzy with desire as he slowly began to move up Heero's length, his lips wrapped as firmly around the flesh as possible. When he reached the top, he held only the tip in his mouth as he began to suck gently. Heero threw his head back again, moaning at the new sensation. Duo then moved his mouth back down just as slowly, continuing the suction as much as possible. Heero forced his eyes open to look down at Duo, a low groan escaping his lips at the sight of the beautiful boy sucking on his arousal, his long hair flowing over his thighs. Duo scraped his teeth lightly over the sensitized flesh, drawing even more noises from Heero. He finally began a regular rhythm up and down, but it was far too slow to satisfy Heero. Heero was shouting uncontrollably at this. "AHHNNN DUO!! Please, I need…"
Duo couldn't deny such a pleading request from his love, no matter how much he was enjoying the sweet torture he was giving Heero. He finally took mercy on him, bobbing his head faster over the hot length. Heero's back began to arch, and Duo removed his hands from Heero's hips to allow him more control. With one of his newly freed hands, Duo encircled Heero's length below his own mouth, adding more pressure and friction. With his other hand, he slowly massaged Heero's balls. Heero truly was going insane at this point, but both knew that it wouldn't last much longer. Duo felt Heero's muscles begin to twitch and relaxed his throat, allowing Heero to pound into his mouth.
"Oh Gods… yes… YES!! DUO!!!!" Heero's entire body arched almost painfully as he came violently into Duo's waiting mouth. Wave after crashing wave of pure white- hot pleasure ran through his veins, more powerfully than he could believe. He wasn't even aware of Duo swallowing his essence gratefully. In fact, he knew nothing other than the amazing feelings washing over him. When he at last was able to refocus his mind, body still humming from absolute ecstasy, he saw that Duo was now lying next to him with an absolutely wonderful smile on his face. Heero would have gasped at the absolute beauty before him, with Duo's hair flowing around him, violet eyes sparkling, cheeks flushed, and red mouth, but he was still panting from his climax. As he continued to stare at Duo, he heard himself gasp between breaths, "I love you." The words now seemed so natural.
Duo's smile grew even wider. "I love you too, koi." He leaned in for a lingering kiss. Heero could taste something salty and different in Duo's mouth. He flushed and let out a small moan when he suddenly realized what the flavor must be. He felt Duo smirk against his lips. "You like that, Heero?" Heero didn't respond. He simply pulled Duo closer for another searing kiss, his tongue exploring every inch of Duo's mouth, still fascinated by the taste of it. Duo began to moan into the kiss as well, becoming even more turned on by his love's enthusiasm.
Heero felt Duo's hard length burning against his thigh as the Duo rubbed against him uncontrollably. He smirked, then released Duo's mouth and flipped them so that he was straddling Duo's stomach and pinning his arms above his head. Duo whimpered from the loss of friction while struggling to release his arms. Heero was smirking down at him and Duo ceased his struggles when he saw the glint in those cobalt eyes. "What do you want, koi?" Heero asked in a husky and low voice.
Duo moaned loudly. He knew what he wanted, but he wasn't sure if he could say the words. He looked pleadingly up at Heero, begging silently. His erection was throbbing painfully in the air behind Heero's ass without any friction and he was losing control. He realized that he couldn't win this struggle and whispered, "I want you, Heero, inside me. I'll tell you how… just please… please touch me." He finished in a shaky voice.
Heero indeed wasn't sure what Duo meant, but the plead in Duo's voice made him moan softly before lowering himself to capture Duo's lips. The kiss only lasted a few seconds though, before he felt Duo whimper again and felt him struggling to release his arms. Heero understood and let go of Duo's arms, which soon found themselves buried in Heero's hair. Heero then slowly eased his body down Duo's so that their hips could grind together. Heero was already half-hard again as he felt Duo's cock thrust against his. However, Heero only allowed Duo to grind him for a few moments before he continued easing down the smaller body. He finally found himself kneeling between Duo's eagerly spread legs, watching his lover with an amazed expression. Duo was a writhing, beautiful body of need. Heero wrapped his fingers around Duo's angry erection, giving enough pressure to ease the ache, which made Duo scream in pleasure. As Heero continued to slowly stroke the hot member, he stared and locked eyes with Duo's wanton gaze and breathed softly, "Show me."
Duo nodded and reached over to pull open the nightstand drawer. Heero was a little confused as Duo rummaged through the desk before pulling out a small tube. Duo's face flushed as he produced the tube and sat up to face Heero. He silently reached for Heero's free hand and brought it down between his legs. He lay back down a little bit, pivoting his hips upward slightly as he continued to guide Heero's hand further down. Heero's eyes widened as he realized what Duo wanted when Duo positioned one of Heero's fingers on his tight ring of muscles. Duo took a deep breath before he spoke, "I want you inside me, Heero. Here. You need to stretch me first with your fingers…" He broke off shivering with a small moan as Heero gently stroked his sensitive spot. "Use the lubricant, so it won't hurt."
As Heero processed what Duo was asking, his face flushed and he began to sweat with desire. He could only nod weakly as he removed his hand from around Duo's erection to accept the small tube. Duo leaned back on his elbows to watch Heero. Heero squeezed some of the lube on his fingers and returned his hand to Duo's entrance. He watched enthralled as he teased the small ring, causing Duo to hiss in pleasure and thrust his hips. As gently as he could, he slipped one finger inside, pushing past the tight ring. He watched Duo's face for pain and stopped moving when he sensed some discomfort in his love's face. "Am I hurting you? Should I stop?"
Duo shook his head fiercely, taking another deep breath before he spoke, "I'm fine, koi. I want this. I know it will hurt a little bit, but there's no way to prevent that. Please… don't stop. I'll tell you if I want you to stop… just go slow." He whispered.
Heero hesitated, but he saw the pure desire in Duo's face and slowly continued pushing his finger inside. When he couldn't push any further, he began to move his finger around, effectively stretching Duo enough to slide another finger inside as well. Duo hissed again, but this time in pleasure as he became adjusted to the feeling. Heero used his two fingers to stretch him even more and looked questioningly at Duo. Duo understood. "One more." He breathed.
As gently as he could, Heero added the third finger and pushed back in. This time, however, as he pushed deeper inside Duo suddenly arched his back and cried out in pleasure, "AAHH!" Heero's eyes shot to his love, amazed at the reaction. Tentatively, he repeated the action with his fingers and Duo again arched his back with a sharp hiss of pleasure, his head thrashing to the side. Heero was captivated by the reaction and becoming harder and harder by the sounds and sights of his lover. As he saw Duo's body arch, Duo's cock thrust upwards and Heero got an idea he was eager to try. As he continued to stretch Duo, he suddenly brought his head down and swallowed the hot erection to the hilt without warning. "AAHNNN HEERO!!!" Duo screamed as loud as he could at the sudden attack. He was so close already… it took amazing strength for him to contain his climax. He needed Heero inside of him, though. "HEERO!!! NOW!!! Please… please… I need you now, Heero!"
Heero reluctantly released Duo from his mouth. The flavor and scent had been addicting and he wanted more. He couldn't ignore the cries from Duo, though, and his own erection was becoming painful at the idea of entering the beautiful boy. Heero removed his fingers, hearing a low moan from Duo as he did so. He looked up to see Duo propped on his elbows again, watching him intently. With shaking hands, Heero coated his own erection with the lube quickly and slowly positioned himself at Duo's entrance. He locked eyes with Duo as he slowly began to push forward. He saw the slight pain cross Duo's face at the large invasion, but he continued to move forward slowly when Duo made no move to stop him. Heero could not believe the feeling of entering the other boy. He was gripped tightly from all sides as he continued to push in. A deep moan was escaping his lips as he pushed in to the hilt, where he forced himself to remain still as he watched Duo's face for a sign to continue.
Finally, Duo's body began to relax and Duo's face lost all signs of any pain. He slowly smiled at Heero and wrapped his legs around his waste. Then he began to wiggle his hips, telling Heero he wanted him to move. Heero moaned at the friction when Duo began to move below him and couldn't help but begin his shallow thrusts. He pulled back as slowly as possible, but pushed back with a little more speed he couldn't contain. Duo threw his head back at the feeling, breathing Heero's name. Heero gripped Duo's hips as he continued to move, holding the other boy's lower body off the bed as he slid back into him. The change in position caused Heero to hit that spot that made Duo thrash in pleasure. "Faster, Heero…" He begged softly.
Heero couldn't help but comply. He slowly began to increase his pace, always hitting that spot that made Duo moan in pleasure. Duo was now matching his thrusts eagerly, his head thrown back as his breath came in harsh pants. Both boys were covered in a fine layer of sweat, which made their skin glimmer in the light. Heero's thrusts were becoming frantic as he felt his completion near. He pounded so hard that Duo was forced to hold onto the headboard for support as he was driven into the bed. Duo had never felt so much pleasure in his life. He hadn't dreamed anything could be possible. The fire within him was becoming unbearable and he knew he had to release it soon. He managed to gasp between breaths. "Heero… t-touch me! I'm going to… uhnnn…"
Heero was lost in the sight of his incredibly long-haired beauty writhing below him, clinging to the headboard, moaning in pleasure. When he heard the plea, he quickly moved so that one hand supported the small of Duo's back while the other moved to grasp the erection between their bodies. He pumped Duo frantically in time to his thrusts, trying desperately to hold off his own release as long as possible.
As Heero began to pump Duo both inside and out, Duo finally lost all control and fell over into completion with a final passionate scream of his lover's name. His entire body clenched as he released his essence over himself and Heero. He had never known anything could be so intense. Every aftershock wave of pleasure was more powerful than he had ever felt before. As Heero continued to pound into him, he continued to ride the waves of euphoria.
Heero felt Duo's body clench around him and saw his love's powerful climax rip through his body. The intense pleasure on Duo's face as he screamed his name was his undoing. He pounded into the tight body two more times before he too lost his control and spiraled down to meet his love. His body rocked with the force of his climax as he released deep within Duo's body. He lost control of his muscles and started to collapse forward, but caught himself with his arms before crushing the other boy. His entire body was shaking uncontrollably and his bangs clung to his forehead with sweat. He tried to catch his breath with heavy pants as he locked eyes with the boy he loved below him.
They continued to stare into each other's eyes, feeling each other's hot breaths wash over their faces as they processed what they had just done. When their breathing began to slow a little, Heero leaned down for a gentle kiss. He tried to express in the kiss how much everything Duo had given him had meant to him. After he broke the kiss with a final, slow lick over Duo's lips, he found the strength to raise his body enough to pull out of Duo's body. Each moaned from the friction over their over-sensitized skin. Finally, Heero allowed himself to drop to the bed next to Duo. He wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him flush against his body. Duo wrapped his legs around Heero's as he sighed happily. They both knew that everything would be so different after tonight, but they were too tired to think too much about that tonight. Before long, both were sound asleep in their love's embrace.
Heero woke up the next morning with a feeling of complete and total peace. He tightened his hold on his love before he was even fully awake, rubbing his face into Duo's soft hair. Heero finally opened his eyes to take in the sight of his koi in his arms. He smiled tenderly as he watched the relaxed and happy face of his sleeping love. //My love… love.// Heero was still so amazed that his life now had love in it. //After everything that I've done, the training, the war, the mistakes… I've somehow found love. Or… did he find me? Duo… Duo loves me. The man I love loves me in return. Such a thing seems far too good to be true. How could I have been so lucky? And… it's not just any man, a man so beautiful, wonderful, and amazing that he could have had anyone he chose. And he chose… me? I don't understand it, but… I'll never forget how lucky I am to be with him. I'll never take him for granted.//
Heero gently brushed some hair out of Duo's peaceful face. Duo smiled in his sleep and turned towards his hand, sighing happily. Heero smiled lovingly as he leaned forward to kiss those inviting lips before him softly. //And I'll devote everything to being worthy of your love, Duo. I won't let you regret it.//
Duo slowly began to wake as he felt the tender caress on his lips. "Mmm… Heero" He purred as he brought his arms up around his koi. The kiss deepened slowly, but remained calm and undemanding as the two simply enjoyed the taste and feel of each other.
Heero slowly pulled away, kissing the tip of Duo's nose. "Morning, Duo."
Duo slowly opened his eyes to smile at Heero. "Morning, Heero."
They simply lost themselves in each others eyes for endless moments until Heero finally broke the silence. "Last night was… unbelievable Duo. I love you."
"I love you too, Heero… so much. And yes, last night was perfect. You were incredible."
"So were you, and I still can't get over how beautiful you look with your hair down." Heero said as he again ran his fingers through the soft locks.
Duo blushed a little, bringing his hand up to cup Heero's cheek. "You're the only one who has seen it down in about nine years, you know."
Heero's eyes widened slightly, but he gave Duo a quick squeeze. "I knew it was special to you… thank you, Duo… for the privilege. But… nine years… the Maxwell Church Masacre?"
"Yes, not since Sister Helen. She was the only person to ever braid my hair for me. It's why I've kept my hair… in the memory of her and everyone else I lost. But I've never let anyone else see it down since then, and I'm not even sure I can really explain why. It just became so… personal… private." Duo had been eyeing his long hair as he spoke, but now he stared directly into Heero's eyes as he continued. "I saved it for the one I love."
The memory of that day so long ago when Heero had asked to see Duo's hair down came rushing back to Heero. He finally understood. Duo easily guessed that Heero was remembering that day and hoped that he would not be hurt by the memory. However, Heero surprised him by whispering softly, "I understand. I had to earn it. Thank you."
Duo smiled widely before pulling Heero down for a passionate kiss. ::How did I get so lucky? How could I have found such perfect love? I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop loving him… I don't think I could have survived if he didn't love me too. Yet somehow… somehow not only has he learned how to feel and how to love… he found love for ME.:: Duo poured his love into the kiss as he fed off the life and love of his Koi. ::I'll never let you regret loving me, Heero::
Heero felt himself hardening from the passion of the kiss and the feel of the writhing body beneath his. He moaned slightly, running his hands all over Duo's chest and stomach. He realized that Duo was still a little sticky from the night before and smirked into the kiss as an idea came to him.
He pulled away from the kiss, showing Duo that wicked smirk as he said in a hushed voice. "Care to join me for a shower, love?"
Duo's mind was suddenly filled with images of a wet, naked Heero, water running down the perfect planes of his body under the hot spray of the shower. He shivered at the thrill of excitement that raced through him as he moaned and frantically locked his lips with Heero's again.
Heero grinned into the enthusiastic kiss. //I'll take that as a yes// He raised himself from the bed and gently pulled Duo with him. He reluctantly broke the kiss and grabbed Duo's hand as they rushed to the bathroom. Heero adjusted the water as quickly as possible, then turned back to Duo, wrapping his arms tightly around him and leaning in to drink from that sweet mouth again.
As they stepped under the hot spray, they refused to break their kiss. Heero's hands traveled lower to cup Duo's ass and grind his hips forward into his own. With gasps of pleasure, each broke the kiss and arched their backs. Heero snapped his head back to look at Duo and his heart skipped at beat from the sight. Duo was directly under the spray, his head thrown back in pleasure, and his wet hair clinging to his body as water ran down his body. Duo slowly raised his head and saw Heero staring at him with an absolutely hungry look. Duo gave a sexy smirk as he decided to take advantage of his affect on his love.
He removed one of his hands from Heero and brought it up to his own neck. He tilted his head back and closed his eyes as he let his hand trail down his neck and chest. He opened his mouth in a silent gasp as his hand neared his arousal. He could feel Heero's eyes glued to him as he finally grasped his hard flesh. He only stroked once before the idea of Heero watching him touching himself was too much for him and he heard himself breath "Uunn… Heero…"
Before he knew what was happening, Duo heard what he could have sworn was a growl before he was enveloped by strong arms and gently but firmly pushed against the tile wall as a mouth began attacking his exposed neck. Duo moaned and couldn't stop himself from stroking his erection harder before he felt a strong hand clamp around his own, stopping his motions. He whimpered as Heero continued to kiss down his chest, sucking fiercely on each nipple. Duo tried to move his hand, but Heero only growled against his chest "No, Duo. Let go." Duo whimpered again, but complied with the commanding voice.
Heero smirked, then removed his mouth from Duo's chest, deciding to tease his lover even further. He picked up the shampoo and instructed Duo to turn around. Duo wanted to explode when he realized that Heero was going to ignore his need, but realized he didn't have a choice. He turned so his back was to Heero. "Hands on the wall, Duo, you're not allowed to touch yourself." Duo shivered from the loss of control, but did as he was told.
Heero slowly worked the lather into Duo's hair, making sure to massage his scalp and back as he did so. He could feel Duo trembling under his touch. When he was finally finished, he then picked up the soap and began washing Duo's long legs. As he neared Duo's arousal, he could hear Duo's breath quicken, but he made sure never to get too close. He instead massaged the soap into that incredible ass, feeding off of the moans that this produced from Duo. "Turn around, Duo."
With Duo facing him, he could read the desire in those violet depths and he knew that he could not deny his love for much longer. He washed Duo's arms and chest quickly, then slowed as he began to move lower over Duo's stomach. Duo was going crazy with need at this point, begging Heero with his eyes. Then, he saw Heero sink to his knees in front of him and he let out a low moan in anticipation. Heero smirked up at him through wet bangs that clung to his face and licked his lips. Duo shivered. "Please… Heero."
"Now it's my turn to taste, Duo." That was all the warning Duo was given before he was enveloped in liquid heat.
"Ahhnn… yes… yes… Heero… yes…" He whimpered helplessly as Heero suckled him. Duo's hands gripped Heero's head as he pushed his hips forward into that warm mouth. Heero relaxed his throat and allowed Duo to pump for a few more moments before stilling his hips with his hands. He looked up to see that Duo's eyes were glued to his as he began to swirl his tongue around Duo's shaft. He slowly began to bob his head, keeping eye contact. When Duo moaned loudly in pleasure and shut his eyes, Heero did the same, sending vibrations along Duo's length as he closed his eyes and sped up his pace. Duo could feel his climax building and tried to warn Heero.
"Heero… I'm gonna… cum… HEERO!."
Heero moaned again from the words and Duo fell over the edge as he felt the vibrations again. He gripped Heero's head tightly as he screamed incoherently in passion. Heero eagerly swallowed all that Duo offered, fascinated by the taste of his love.
Heero slowly stood up and held Duo as the boy shook from his release. He nuzzled the longhaired boy's neck and kissed it gently. "Love you, Duo."
"Mmm… love you too, Heero. That was amazing." He tilted his head for a tender kiss, tasting himself in Heero's mouth. He pressed closer, feeling Heero's hot length pressed against his stomach. Without breaking the kiss, lathered one hand with soap and brought it down to encircle Heero's shaft and began to pump slowly.
Heero was so turned on already that he knew he couldn't last long. He shook visibly from Duo's ministrations and moaned deeply into the kiss, pressing Duo even closer to him. Duo could sense how close Heero was and quickly sped up his hand. Heero was forced to break the kiss as his breathing quickened and his back arched. Duo's eyes were glued to Heero's face as he continued to pump his hand and sent Heero over the edge. Duo couldn't believe how amazing Heero looked with his wet hair clinging to his face which was twisted in pure ecstasy as his body was wracked with waves of white-hot pleasure.
When Heero finally recovered from his orgasm, he smiled and said "I could get used to showers like this."
Duo chuckled, then held up the soap. "Not if you never get around to getting washed. We're gonna run out of hot water soon, too."
Heero grinned, "I think if we work together we'll have enough time, ne?"
Duo grinned back. "Just what I was thinking."
Heero quickly washed his hair as Duo washed his body. Duo resisted the urge to tease Heero again though, knowing that they really would be out of hot water soon. As he predicted, they began to feel the temperature drop just as Heero finished rinsing off and they quickly turned off the water.
After drying off with some towels, Duo gave Heero a quick kiss and said "I've gotta blow dry my hair now or I'll never get dry. You go ahead and get dressed, I'll be out in a little while."
Heero nodded and gave Duo another quick kiss before heading for his bedroom. As he passed by the mirror in his room, he stopped short, amazed at what he saw. He had never seen his face look so… Soft? Happy? Peaceful? Relaxed? His eyes especially… they looked so different…so bright… so… alive. //Is this what love does to people?// He smiled at the thought and was again shocked but extremely pleased with his reflection. He shook his head in wonder as he turned away from the mirror to get dressed.
As he finished getting dressed, he heard Duo entered and looked up to find him also dressed in his usual priest outfit, but his now dry hair was still unbound. He held something behind his back and was smiling warmly at Heero. "Heero?"
Duo still felt a wonderful wave of happiness every time he heard that word from Heero. ::I don't think it'll ever feel any different, no matter how many times he says it.:: Duo brought his hand out from behind his back, which held a hairbrush and hair tie.
"Would you braid my hair for me?"
Heero's eyes shone with emotion. "I'd love to."
Duo smiled and walked over to sit on the bed next to Heero, his back to him. He gave Heero the brush and tie and sighed happily as he felt the soothing hands on his hair. Memories from his past rushed to his mind, but they only made him smile. These were the good memories; these would always be the good memories.
"Hey Heero, I hope you're enjoying this cuz I sure could get used to this from now on." He said as he closed his eyes in content.
"Yes, from now on, Duo. Forever. I love you."