Warnings and Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, and if you thought I did, you were sorely mistaken. This Fic Contains: Yaoi, 1x2/2x1, humor?,rater R?, possible lemon in the next part, brief mentions of other pilots, cognizant household appliances, foods, and the house itself, and several twisty plot designs intended to make you wonder what the heck is going to happen, although you always know it will probably just be sex… again… oh gee, darn huh?

Popcorn
By ClarySage

 

The overwhelming smell of hot fresh popped corn filtered through the kitchen. It inched its way slowly up the stairs and drifted down the hallway. Without even knocking, for it was not a polite sort of smell, it barged right into a small bedroom. It sifted slowly over the two beds and eventually flew right up the nose of a certain boy, who had been trying to write up a mission report.

Heero paused and sniffed cautiously at the air. It smelled, well, it smelled like something he had never smelled before. Hot and tantalizing, and everything all warm and salty. He leisurely got up from his chair and made his way out the door and down the stairs towards that elusive odor. Slowing as he approached the kitchen, he could hear someone singing quietly just behind the door. Opening it a crack he peered in, and then quickly pulled his head back as the smell leaped out at him, tackling his nostrils once again.

But of course it was too late, he was hooked. Without even a second thought he pushed the door open and walked into the enticing aroma. He just stood there, his hands hanging loosely at his side, face in its perpetual mask. Duo stood across from him, back turned and hips swaying slightly. Apparently he was still unaware of the sudden danger that had just entered the room.

Heero was absolutely confounded for a moment; all that he could see in the kitchen was Duo and some sort of strange pot standing on the counter. The pot was at this moment making odd little popping noises and occasionally hissing. Still singing softly, Duo raised the lid, peered in and then quickly slammed the lid back on the pot.

Sneaking up behind the distracted braided boy, Heero peered over Duo's shoulder at the bizarre popping pot. The lid was clear and yellow, and just visible under it were fluffy white pieces of something furiously banging around.

"What is that?" Startled by the sudden question directed at him from what, just a few moments ago had been an empty kitchen, Duo nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Heero! Geeze, could you maybe announce yourself next time or something?" Slim arms crossed and a mock glare tried to attack Heero by leaping out of Duo's eyes. But it failed, miserably; glaring just didn't belong on the braided boys face, at least not right now, when popcorn smell was drifting into everyone's noses.

A smile replaced what tried to be a frown, and Duo turned and grinned down at the popping pot.

"It's popcorn, haven't you ever tried it before?"

Heero, who was an expert when it came to all kinds of frowns and glares did both, and aimed them at the pot sitting on the counter.

"No."

"Really? Wow. Ok, well as soon as this is done you're going to have to try it!" With an extremely large and beatific smile, Duo slid across the kitchen floor in his sock clad feet and whipped open the refrigerator door.

"I just need to melt the butter."

"Butter?"

"Uh huh, it makes it all that much better." With a wink and a grin, and his braid whirling behind him, Duo grabbed a stick of butter and a small bowl. Quickly the butter was set inside the bowl and the microwave melted it within seconds.

The microwave was wondering why the idiot with the braid didn't just make popcorn like everyone else in the world did. By buying one of those neat little packets, ripping off the plastic protection and throwing it into it. It also proudly admitted it would only take minutes to cook the popcorn, and butter was already included. But Duo did not listen to the ramblings of kitchen appliances, let alone was he able to actually hear them talking, so he quite rightly ignored the snotty microwave and did it all His way.

Butter melted into a yellow mass of liquid, and happy thoughts of popcorn ran through its mind. For just as the microwave could talk, the butter could long for things, and it desperately longed to be drizzled over objects and food in its sexual liquid state. Butter was a horny little hentai.

Luckily Duo and Heero had no clue that everything around them was alive in its very own special way, or the following events probably would have never occurred.

With a bright and sunny statement, the braided boy turned off the popper and waited for all the white fluffy pieces to calm the hell down. It took a few seconds, popcorn gets rather excited when it gets dumped into oil and then heated up slowly, it too was a little hentai. In point of fact the entire damned house was a little hentai, it tended to groan loudly when the wind blew it.

But ignoring all this, as they rightly should, not being able to hear or see a bit of it, the boys continued making popcorn. Actually, Heero watched, and Duo made, but that's just splitting hairs.

Careful not to burn himself, Duo dumped the popcorn into a large bowl and liberally poured melted butter all over it, both butter and popcorn nearly orgasming from the contact. Heero had his arms crossed and watched the entire proceedings, his eyes shifting to follow as Duo slid across the floor again and retrieved the saltshaker. Spinning around and sliding back to the counter again, the braided pilot sprinkled salt on the ecstatic popcorn and butter, all three entities going bananas together, moaning loudly.

Taking a piece of the completely voluptuous popcorn between his fingers, Duo turned and looked at the silent Heero Yuy, who in turn stood and looked at the grinning boy.

"Try it." And with that, Duo popped the piece of fluffy off-white stuff into Heero's semi open mouth, and stood back. The blue-eyed pilot chewed contemplatively for a moment, rolling the flavors around in his mouth, tasting the mixture, weighing the pros and cons. It took a few minutes as you can gather; Heero really liked to think things through.

With a brief, but lesser glare, the wing pilot helped himself to a handful of the popcorn and shoved it into his mouth. Duo stared in utter amazement for about five seconds and then grabbed his own handful and mimicked the happily chewing boy. Their eyes met briefly, and perhaps the aura of hentai that the three entities known as butter, popcorn, and salt exuded had some effect on the two boys. Because without missing a beat Duo turned and slid towards the refrigerator, again.

"Drink?" He threw over his shoulder.

"Yeah." Heero caught the question and threw back his reply.

And Duo quickly returned to the counter with some sort of drink, it turned out to be a soda for each of them. Though what soda it was, was completely unknown as someone had gone and carefully covered the cans in black electric tape.

Heero raised an eyebrow at the rather odd can, but opened it never the less and took a large swallow.

"Root beer," he managed to gasp out, then burped loudly.

Duo opened his own can, and carefully took a sip.

"Cream soda, you know we really need to stop letting Quatre pick the type of soda we have in this place.

Heero nodded his agreement and reached for some more popcorn, leaning against the counter and idly staring at his soda can in its tape.

"Why did he dress it up?"

"The can? I'm not sure… I think I heard him say something to Trowa about giving us a few more surprises in life." Duo shook his head and glanced at his own can. "But how this could be considered any sort of surprise when we all know what Quatre buys for soda…"

"Duo?" Heero turned and stared at the braided pilot.

"Yeah?"

The Japanese boy fixed his gaze on what was left of the melted butter, and then he raised his eyes to Duo's questioning own.

"Are you going to be using the rest of that," he pointed a finger, "for anything?"

Thoroughly bemused, Duo shook his head no, and watched in fascination as Heero picked up the bowl of melted butter, his eyes taking on a strange light.

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Popcorn part 2

"Is it hot in here?" Shifting against the counter the amethyst-eyed boy fingered his collar and nervously glanced about. The odd look in Heero's eyes seemed to be getting worse, and for some reason Duo was getting rather uncomfortable all of sudden.

It probably had to do with the fact that the house, being rather mischievous in its own right, had decided to raise the temperature. Sometimes late at night when you wake up all covered in sweat or else freezing, and you go and check the thermostat and wonder who the heck set the temperature so high and or low. Well the answer is that the house itself was messing with you; houses have a warped sense of humor. It comes from sitting in one place for so long, and possibly, old wood.

So Duo absently wiped at the perspiration beading his brow and fanned himself, while Heero seemed to get completely lost in contemplation of the cooling butter. What you may ask was just so fascinating about some half congealed butter? Well to know the answer to that you have to actually be inside Heero Yuy's head. But luckily, we can do just that.

Heero in fact was thinking several things all at once. Which if you know anything at all about boys, or soldiers, it all had mostly to do with sex. His mind indeed was completely taken with thoughts of, well, a naked Duo. And can he be blamed for that? The butter didn't think so.

The butter in fact was thinking its own pleasant thoughts; it really secretly yearned to be poured all over a naked Duo. That's right, the so recently bought butter had already fallen hard for the braided boy. It reasoned that it had happened when they first met, at the fridge, about 10 minutes ago.

And Heero seemed to be right in tune with butter, for his thoughts were running along the same lines, though in a different way. As his heated gaze fell once more upon the sweating pilot, guzzling cream soda across the way, his thoughts turned to just what applications butter had. A few random ideas popped into his head, from wherever random ideas come from, and, as they are in fact random, we may never know. Suddenly Heero knew exactly what he wanted, and how he was going to get it.

Through a popcorn-induced haze, the Japanese pilot saw himself walking closer to Duo and reaching out a slightly butter slick hand. Duo, wondering what on earth was going on in Heero's head, backed up slightly, and bumped into the counter. Startled, the boy with the braid turned and looked quickly for an escape route, but of course, there were none.

Shrugging and giving himself up to an early demise, Duo was, as you can well imagine, completely taken by surprise when the dark haired boy reached behind his back and grabbed a paper towel. Setting down the butter, Heero wiped his hands and reached for his root beer.

"Duo, I was just thinking." There was a pause, as the wing zero pilot set his can down with a thunk and turned to face Duo. "Why don't we watch a movie?"

"Sure, which one?" The braided boy was used to these abrupt changes of topic from his friend, he figured that if you had to blow up a base and then go to school the same day, you were allowed your little quirks, and Heero had a barrel load of them.

"When was the last time we watched `Return To Oz'?"

"Oi Heero, not again? We watched that just last week, how about we watch `Men In Tights'?"

"We watched that just the other night."

They both stood and looked at each other for a moment, and then Duo made a snap judgment and reached into his pocket for a coin.

"Heads its `Return To Oz', tails its `Men In Tights', agreed?"

"Yeah."

With a nonchalant toss of his wrist, Duo snapped the coin into the air and slapped it onto the back of his hand, his movements blurring as he did so. Heero, having seen this display before, was not impressed in the least. Though several objects in the kitchen did applaud loudly. And the butter actually burst into thrilled tears.

It was `Return To Oz' yet again. Sighing a bit wearily Duo shrugged and picked up the bowl of popcorn. Heero, smirking just a bit, led the way into the living room, his smirk growing wider just as soon as he turned his back on the violent eyed Shinigami. Yes, that's right, Violent.

Duo was not thrilled with the results of the coin toss, he was considering just taking the popcorn and running for the proverbial hills. But luckily, his overwhelming desire to be near Heero at all times kept him from going anywhere other than into the living room and plopping his butt onto the sofa.

The sofa was in heaven. Can you blame it? Here it was, a completely gratified piece of furniture if you ever saw one, forced, as it were, to live in a house filled with young, beautiful boys. The horror.

The sofa, loved its job. Daily, small, tight rear ends plunked down onto it, wriggling bodies occasionally lay on its smooth surface, bare legs rest on it, and arms hugged its cushions close. Once in a great while it even got to be crushed under the weight of all five boys, but that was such a rarity.

For now the sofa was having a very lovely time, as Duo and Heero sat on it and wriggled back against its soft fabric.

The movie was already in the VCR, having been watched by Wufei just the night before. The Chinese boy had thought that someone he wanted to see might be on the tape, thinking it was perhaps a surveillance flick, imagine his chagrin when he found out it was just a sequel.

Duo set the popcorn between his knees, and waited for Heero to find the remote. It turned out to take several minutes, the remote having gone off for a bathroom break earlier. But soon it was found, lying in the hallway of all places, having passed out on the way back to the table in the living room.

So settling onto the couch once more, Heero pressed play and reached for some popcorn. His mind, as you might guess, began to delve again into the land of hentai as he reached between the knees of the oblivious Duo. Random thoughts of a very naughty nature pummeled at his brain for a few moments, and then the word butter flashed into his mind, briefly illuminated by an almost holy glow.

Butter, lying back in the kitchen, had suddenly found it had psychic powers. So it was doing its best to broadcast waves of erotic imagery into Heero's head. It knew a bond when it saw one, and realized only the stoic boy could fulfill its lewd fantasies of being used on Duo.

With a barely noticeable restraint, Heero pulled his hand away from the bowl of popcorn and put his arm across the back of the couch. He just couldn't keep eating the popcorn if he had to get it from between Duo's tantalizing knees.

Though quickly his mind supplied him with several ways of reaching between those spread legs and taking other things and putting them in his mouth. Shaking his head at all these extremely lusty thoughts, the horny boy idly played with Duo's braid, not noticing that he was even doing so.

But Duo noticed, boy did he ever. It was very rare when Heero got into a touching kind of mood. But the braided boy savored everytime it did happen. Duo was in fact having his own extremely horny thoughts, kindly supplied by the mixture of butter, salt, and popcorn resting between his legs. Images of a warm, sun baked Heero filtered through his head, and then the thought of how nice it would be to add butter to that picture intruded. Quickly that thought was followed by how nice it would all taste with the slightly salty flavor of Heero's skin. And so on so forth.

Gradually Duo inched closer to the middle of the couch, eventually almost pressing thigh to thigh with the super horny, hard Heero. The dark haired boy turned his head a bit and glanced at Duo from the corner of one blue eye. His fingers were still toying with the other boys braid, not listening to a single command sent from the brain, in their own little world of hair as soft as silk. Don't even ask what Duo's hair was thinking; let it suffice to say that it too was in its own happy little world.

Duo was having an extremely difficult time not responding to the feather light caresses that wandered over the back of his neck and tugged at his braid. He was desperately afraid that the instant Heero knew he noticed this attention, the other boy would stop, and that was something that Duo did not want to happen. So he sat, his back slightly rigid, and his breath coming in shallow spurts, as he tried not to move, or start panting for that matter.

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Popcorn Part 3

It was a losing battle for both boys, as they sat on the couch and tried to ignore various carnal thoughts. Butter running rampant through Heero's mind, and popcorn, salt, and butter scampering through Duo's. All in all, pretty much everything in the house was giving off hentai vibes by this time, right down to the end table beside the couch, which happened to be getting off on the ice cold drink resting on it. It loved being teased, and it thought the can was particularly kinky in its little electric tape outfit.

The movie, tired of being ignored in favor of naughty thoughts, decided to mess with the boys by suddenly throwing the tracking off. Sometimes movies like to do this even when you are paying attention, vindictive little things, movies.

Heero sighed, and putting his soda down, went and hunkered in front of the VCR, fiddling with the tracking and cursing under his breath. Why? Every single time, Why did this happen? It was Heero's favorite movie, and no matter when he played it the tracking always seemed to go out at a different spot. It sometimes almost seemed as if the movie were doing it deliberately, which of course as we know, it was.

Duo was thrilled with the sight before his eyes. Screw the movie; he had Heero bending over and on his knees. Ok, so it was only to fix the tracking, but that guy had such a great ass you couldn't help but cheer when he bent over.

As several of the articles in the living room in fact were. The lampshade in particular had a great view, and practically howled with joy.

The braided boy himself wanted to howl, but wisely choice to ignore that urge and instead focus on other things, like the fact that the popcorn was almost gone already and the movie had only just begun. That always seemed to be the way with popcorn; it never stuck around till the end.

Heero in the meantime was actually fully aware that Duo was staring at his rear end; in fact, he was intentionally delaying getting the movie back on track, and had even managed to mess it up further.

Realizing that he couldn't do this forever though, our prussian eyed boy finally tuned the movie and went back to the couch, trying not to notice that Duo was now sitting much closer, and failing miserably.

Finally, with a hentai vibe swinging at full force through out the entire house, the two boys could hold back no longer. With a thought born of desperation and root beer fantasies, Heero jumped up from the couch and raced to the kitchen.

Grabbing up the bowl of butter and tossing it into the microwave, which started bitterly complaining about being used for melting things rather than for actual cooking, Heero waited for 30 seconds then took out the completely remelted butter. Grinning, he quickly walked back into the living room, and snatching up Duo's braid in his free hand, started towing the rather surprised boy up the stairs.

The bed was very lonely, every night a boy slept on it, twisting about on its soft surface and moaning into its springs. It had hoped one day it might get more; perhaps two boys to lie on it, and make every fantasy it ever had come true. But night after night only one boy rested upon it, and the bed had almost given up on its dreams. Little did the bed know, today was its lucky day.

Duo did not question the sudden change of mood from Heero. Sure being dragged upstairs by the other boy, who happened to be holding melted butter in a bowl, was not an everyday occurrence, far from it. It had in fact, never happened before. But Duo was not one to question when fortune decided to smile on him, so he went willingly after the panting Heero, his own breath catching at the thought of what could be done with melted butter.

Butter had finally managed to get into Duo's head as well. In a mighty burst of telepathic power, the struggling melted substance had wriggled its way into the braided boys mind, and now was having a field day throwing erotic butter covered fantasies around inside Duo's brain. An image of Heero pouring the slick substance all over the two of them and then proceeding to slide, really shocked Duo. Only because he was amazed at never having thought of it before, butter had such a way with imagery.

The bedroom reached, Heero flung open the door and tossed the non-struggling Duo upon the quivering bed. Bed was very excited, sure they'd had tickling matches on it before, but never had something like this happened to it, it tried to control its delighted shaking. So did Duo.

Setting the butter down on the nightstand, the short Heero proceeded to slowly strip all clothing from Duo's body, his eyes holding once more that strange light they'd had earlier in the kitchen.

Duo's clothes screamed in agony as they left his body; they really hated to be removed. They, after all, got to spend almost every waking moment of everyday as close to the braided boy as possible, and dearly missed the contact of his skin against them when he took them off. So being taken off earlier then usual, and by someone other then their true love, had rather upset the poor dears.

Finishing stripping Duo, and briefly admiring the wonderful view, Heero then began on his own clothing, which as you might guess, was just as attached to him as Duo's was, but the mop haired boys clothes often tended to want to stick to his body as they got peeled from it. They were such clingy things, never wanting to be separated from their soldier of love, if even for a moment.

Sitting up, Duo smiled his delight at the completely naked form standing before him. Heero without clothes was one of the most magnificent sights in the world; at least that's what the carpet whispered softly to the door frame, which could only nod silently in agreement, speechless for the moment.

Taking up the bowl of butter, Heero knelt on the bed beside the braided delight, and dipped a finger into the melted yellow substance. Fingertip glistening, the Japanese boy then proceeded to slowly finger-paint Duo's chest, his slick digit sliding effortlessly over the smooth flesh.

The painting on the wall leaned closer for a better view, tilting its frame slightly as it did so. The wall nudged the painting discreetly and tried to peek out from behind it, it too wanted to see the show.

With a small smirk and a large amount of deliberate torture, Heero proceeded to butter up Duo, in more ways then one. His fingers repeatedly dipping into the melted substance and sliding over the braided ones body, gliding ever more closely towards the ultimate destination of most young, deliberate hands, that is to say, downwards.

With soft moans and not a few panting noises, Duo wriggled on the bed, his body on automatic pilot, his brain having wandered off on more important errands. Like what it might do besides gibber in the corner and shiver with glee. Which almost precisely echoed what Duo's body was doing in response to the slick touches of the perfect soldier.

Deciding that the amethyst-eyed boy was coated well enough, Heero began licking the melted butter off of the squirming boy. His tongue swirling delicately over the heaving chest and then down the smooth stomach, briefly dipping into a pool of butter located in Duo's navel.

Duo's head was thrown back against the pillow, his legs unconsciously spreading, even as his back arched off the bed. A silent plea any number of horny objects around the house would have gladly answered if they could. Though actually one of those objects had managed to get into Duo's pants any number of times, not to mention into various other parts of the boys anatomy. But which object it might be was not telling.

Heero was not unaware of the silent begging emanating from the boy beneath him. In fact he was all too aware of that lithe body desperately trying to rub against his own. Not one to refuse things when offered, Heero took matters into his own hands, literally.

His slippery fist closed around Duo's rigidly upright second in command, and began to pump it slowly, while his tongue went back to its task of tasting the braided boys flesh. Bringing his mouth eventually down to the target of his hands attention, Heero lightly licked, and then completely swallowed the happy staff. This elicited a loud scream of delight from Duo, as well as from the butter, which finally got to have all of its fantasies become real.

Heero continued his wonderful torture; not noticing that he was about to lose what little control remained within him. And sure enough, with an almost audible snapping sound, Heero lost it. Every ounce of control and coherent thought flew out of the wing pilot's head and bounced down the stairs and out of the house, quickly losing itself in the great outdoors.

With a low growl of lust, he grabbed Duo's legs and raised them slightly. Then taking the remaining butter, he poured it liberally between the other boy's thighs. With an impish grin, Heero slid his hands over Duo's slippery body and also managed to coat himself in butter. Much to the butter's utter delight.

Several long moments passed, while Heero let his fingers do the walking, mapping out that road less traveled, and figuring out just where the button to turn off Duo's `self destruct' was.

Within a few more minutes cries of "You ARE a god!"

And "If you stop…" with a stifled giggle, " I WILL kill you." echoed throughout the room.

Soon though, these words turned to sheer gibberish, and only a few syllables managed to get away from the two heavily breathing boys.

" Ahh."

"Mmnn."

"Yeaaaa."

"Ooo!"

Though in reaching towards climax they did start to make a few more coherent phrases.

A hard kiss and a "This," gasp "is so much…" pant, pant "better than popcorn." filtered towards the ceiling. Which by the way had the best view in the house.

A shift of bodies and few slapping sounds later another sentence drifted lazily around the room.

Slide, "I never," tighten, shudder, "thought …" loud moan, " butter had…" thrust, "so many uses." Gasp.

The sheets, I'm afraid to say, were the only objects not at all thrilled with the whole experience. But as you might well imagine, it sucks to not only sleep on the wet spot, but it Really sucks when you actually are the wet spot.

 

<grabs a random `owari' ending>

Owari ni nai yume no tame ni…
For the dream that never ends…

Ooo that worked nicely hmm?

Anyways, feedback only makes this disease I have worse, so if you want to see more crap like this flow from my comp to yours, gimme some!

<drinking coffee and enjoying life>