Warnings And Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, and if YOU do, then why the heck are you reading this fic?! This fic Contains: 1x2, yaoi, au, si, ooc, sci-fi?, stuff, more shower scenes, hair, food, and possibly angst

I am unable for some reason to transfer italics into my posts… so CAPITOL letters will be used instead…

Infinity Tried
Chapter 19
By ClarySage

For a while all I can do is shake inside these arms that hold me so close. It's weak to need comfort so much. I can't believe I tried to forget Cain so completely. But why? Just because she died a horrible death and I loved her so much doesn't mean I should have forgotten her all together. I loved her, I know I did. So why did I try to forget her so desperately that I actually succeeded? And then there are these guys.

Will it take years for me to admit what I feel already for these two? Yeah, years and then some. I meant what I said; I won't ever let myself fall into the trap that is love again, never. So if they manage to know me for many years to come, they won't ever hear me say it. And maybe that's just the way it should be, we won't ever feel the pain that way, or at least I won't. I'm probably just lying to myself. Hell, I know I am. Sooner or later I'm going to wind up caring too much for them, just like I did for Cain. Then I'm sure they too will be taken from me. If it happens again I don't think I can handle it. My mind will crack open like rotten fruit and every sane thought I have left will pour into open space. I'll go crazy, completely and utterly insane then. I've got to get away from them.

Ok, enough is enough. I will no longer sit here idly, while these two try to make me see things I don't want to. Does this make me completely stubborn? You bet it does, but I really don't care. I've had quite enough of this moping session.

So I carefully peel off their comforting arms, and stand up unsteadily. Flinging the braids away from my face I turn and glare around the room for a moment, at a complete loss. Oh yes, my clothes. Where HAVE they gone to? I kneel down and peer under the bed, then sweep my gaze across the floor. No sign of them here.

"I don't suppose either of you has seen my clothes around?" I don't look at either of them as I ask this; instead I pretend to be searching the room still. I just don't feel like thinking anymore. I don't want to contemplate what's going to happen next or for that matter was has happened already. And of course, I'm also trying to change the subject. So without saying another word I walk over to the closet and open it.

I delve my hands between the clothes and fish out what looks to be a plain black sleeveless shirt. Perfect. Slipping it over my head I yank my hair through the neck hole and continue my search through the closet. But I really don't think there are going to be any bottoms long enough to fit me. I glance over at the boys. My legs definitely have a good six inches on either of theirs.

"Pants?" I ask curtly. Duo sighs softly and gets up off the floor. Standing beside me he's silent for a moment. His eyes slowly travel down my legs and back up again, then nodding he slips his hands into the closet and pulls out a pair of loose black pants. I give him a small smile and take the proffered cloth. Sliding the pants up my legs I note with satisfaction that they actually seem to fit me.

"How in the world do you happen to have a pair of pants that are too long for either of you?" I tie the drawstring and glance about for my boots, they must be gone too. Who knew a bubble shield could take clothes? Guess I'll just have to go barefoot again. Not like I even noticed last time.

"Old friend, he was a bit taller then the rest of us." I look at Duo's face, his voice has taken on a slightly sad tone, and his eyes are trained on the floor.

"The tall one with the hair in front of one eye?" Duo looks sharply up at me.

"How do you know that?"

"You dreamt about him, and two other boys. They were standing in front of gundam like yours." I stare blankly at the wall for a moment then look Duo in the eyes. "You miss them a lot don't you? Why did you leave them behind?"

"Well, they had things to do, responsibilities, they were all busy after the war ended. And then Heero asked me to come with him so..." He trails off and looks over at the silent boy. I lay a hand on Duo's shoulder and gently squeeze. "I understand." We stare at each other for a few moments then nod, we both understand.

"Hey Heero, I don't suppose you can get some more food?" My stomach growls a noisy counter point to my question.

"Yeah, want anything in particular? Or just whatever there is?" His eyes are on my loudly growling belly. I grin slightly and pat it soothingly ignoring the chill Heero's sending my way, he'll get over it.

"Whatever there is, I'm hungry and I wouldn't mind seeing what else there is to eat on this ship besides sandwiches." Settling down on the bed I pick up one of my braids and contemplate it. Maybe my hair needs a change. Heero dresses quickly and heads out the door, as it slides shut behind him I turn and glance over at the strangely quiet Duo.

"Something wrong?"

He's staring at the floor and idly tugging his braid. "Why do you always have to change the subject like that?" I glare at him and think carefully before answering.

"Because Duo, sometimes things shouldn't be pushed too much. Maybe you should just give this whole thing a rest for a while. If I ever want to get closer to you two, well, you'll be the first to know." I give him a wink and grin weakly, then start loosening all my braids with small beams of energy. It's been a long time since all my hair has been loose. I glance over at the wall, which holds the shower. Probably this would work better in there. Getting up I strip off the cloths I've just put on and open the wall to reveal once more the tiniest shower in the known universe.

Showering and unbraiding my hair is actually kind of fun. Except, I might have a better time with a bit more room. I bang another elbow against the wall and grit my teeth. They just had to make this ship efficient didn't they? My hair is now hanging like a soaked blanket over my entire body. I wrap it over an arm and then remember how this thing dries you off.

"Hey Duo," he's sitting on one of the beds and staring at the wall across the way. He's managed to put on some pants by now, though he's still shirtless. I enjoy the view for a moment while waiting for him to respond. Then mentally slap myself for enjoying the view at all; I can't look at them this way!

"What?" he turns and glances at me, showing a little surprise at the armful of wet hair I'm holding. I lean out of the closet…shower, and stare at his braid. "How do you manage to dry your hair in here without it snarling up? Do you leave it braided?" this is actually something I wanted to ask a while ago, but what with everything happening the way it's been happening, I'd completely forgotten. Somewhat like that whole forgetting to put my shoes back on, only different.

"Just let it blow your hair everywhere, I'll brush it for you when you're done. Usually Heero brushes mine out after the air dryer." Unconvinced, I press the button for the dryer and close my eyes as air bursts from the walls. You would think that with all this technology they would have developed something a bit more sophisticated, but they haven't. As the air eventually shuts off I wipe the masses of now dry hair from my face and glare around the room. At least it leaves my hair soft, I don't think I could handle it if it not only tangled my hair, but turned it crispy as well.

Duo has found a brush somewhere and is sitting on the bed, leaning back against the wall with his legs crossed and his eyes shut. Stepping out of the shower I press the indentation, which shuts the shower away from casual view. His eyes pop open and he gazes with something like consternation at the loads of hair surrounding me.

"This could take a while." He says dryly. I nod in absolute agreement and walk over to grab my new set of clothes. Quickly I slide into them again pulling my hair free of the clothing so that it falls liberally to my knees. Standing in front of Duo I point towards my toes and the crimson waves swirling around my knees.

"Try starting at the tips and working your way up."

"Like I don't know how to deal with long hair?"

"Sorry, I'm not used to having other people brush it for me, I just..."

"It's ok, I've always liked it when my hair gets brushed, it feels nice, relaxing. You'll enjoy it, trust me."

Nodding, I try to hold still as he gets off the bed and kneels next to me. I grin down at him, I could get used to this at any rate. It's not everyday I have someone kneel to me. Suppressing a laugh I try to hold still has he accidentally tickles the back of my legs with the brush.

"Stop that."


"Your tickling me with the brush, I won't be able to stand much longer if you keep doing it." I stifle another laugh as the brush slides over the back of my knee. Jumping to avoid it I manage to twist my ankle and go down in a heap on the floor. I can feel my face turn bright red from laughing so hard.

"Ddd-duo," I manage to gasp out after I finally catch my breath long enough to say something, "Maybe I should just brush is myself?"

"Nope, I promised you I would. So stand up again. I'll try not to tickle you anymore." I glare at the twinkle in his amethyst eyes. He's going to do it again, I can just tell. Using the bed to help me up I totter back to my feet. I need something to lean against. Looking around I stare at the wall for a moment in contemplation, that'll work. Motioning to Duo I walk over and rest my head against my arms while leaning on the wall.

"At least if you tickle me now I'll have something to lean against." It comes out somewhat muffled since my face is pressed against my arms. Abruptly I hear the slight hiss of the doors opening.

"Food, Heero?" I turn my head slightly and sure enough there he is with another armload of edible items. Forgetting my hair momentarily I suddenly remember it as I trip and fall and become entangled in it. Trying to ignore the sudden snorts and laughs of my companions I disentangle myself and glare at them from a heap on the floor.

"I think you had better let me finish brushing that out before you try eating anything. I'd hate to see what would happen if you tried to eat with it like that." Sighing and eyeing the delicious smells emanating from Heero's armload of food I reluctantly nod and go back over to the wall.

"Try and hurry though Duo, I'm starving!"

"I could try to feed you while he brushes your hair." Suggests the noble Heero Yuy. Ok, so he's noble only because he's willing to feed the ravenous beast which is I.

"All right, anything's better then waiting." I turn my head to the side and Duo helps me by brushing the hair out of my face.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth. I don't know if you've tried this kind of food before. So, let it be a surprise." I smile and close my eyes. This is a fun little game; I just hope he doesn't feed me something completely disgusting.

Opening my mouth I wait for the food to hit my tongue. Something soft and warm slides onto it and dribbles down my throat. I blink open one eye in surprise and close my mouth, tasting.

"Sweet. What was that? Tastes a bit like jam or marmalade."

Heero waves a bit of toast in front of me and smirks. "Kitchen was closed so I raided it for whatever was easiest. So you get toast with orange marmalade, hot tea, some dried fruit, some cheese and bread for later, and a couple of sandwiches. Sorry, it's all I could find that didn't require cooking for hours, or for a large group."

I smile and open my mouth for a bite, chewing thoughtfully I mumble, " Thanks Heero, it's perfect." I won't give in, I won't cave, I won't love them. I swallow the lump in my throat, it's just the toast, I know it is.



Hmmmm, interesting. Anyways, THANK YOU ppl who have responded to this fic/saga, u know who u are!<points> And a special thank you for those who have been reading this thing forever…

Soon my dears it will all come to an end. By the way, I've had a few emails about 1x2xinfinity

And all I can say is… who knows?

I may go there, I may not… perhaps we need a vote?

Like all in favor say Aa and all those against it say Iie… or something like that…



Till the next chapter…

<runs away to write 4 other fics…>