Well, here's the next bit…. Sigh, I'm not too thrilled with this chapter for some reason… so if ya can give some feedback it would be much appreciated
Anyways, thank you!!!! To the ppl that have actually gone through the trubble of sticking with this fic, and the ppl who have just started reading this ficcie…you all put the boost in my tiny writing ego… I'm actually beginning to think I can write or something…. But that feeling doesn't last for long ^_^'

Warnings & Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, we've been over that how many times now? This fic contains: Au, si, ooc, threads, memories, love?, 1x2/1+2 & 2x1/ 2+1, yaoi, criminally insane infinite ppl, much emotionally disturbed things, and possibly a plot of some sort….

 

Infinity Epiphany

Chapter 17

 

Death is too good for them. I think I need to make them suffer. I crawl out of my dark thoughts and discover I'm lying down. The last thing I remember is …pleasure. Damn them. I know what they were doing. I thought my shield might actually protect me, but it didn't. At least now I know it won't work for that. I stretch luxuriously and curl my toes while flexing hands above my head. Ok, so I enjoyed it. They still need to die. And why am I lying down? On a …bed? Naked?

I crack open an eye and find the ceiling staring back at me. Oh right, I AM lying down. I tilt my head slowly to the left and gaze at the naked boy sleeping next to me. I know, I absolutely know, that this is not the last place I was. Blinking I turn my head to the right and find, of course, another equally naked boy sleeping next to me. And this one actually has the temerity to have an arm wrapped around my waist and his face buried against my neck. When did I become a teddy bear/security blanket?

How did I get in bed with these two? One minute I'm in my nice black bubble, wallowing contentedly in misery. And the next thing I know I want nothing more than to kill a certain pair of lovesick boys that I happen to be lying naked in a bed with. Oh, and they look so innocent and peaceful too. Bastards. I have to get away from them, somehow. But I suppose I can wait a little longer. I close my eyes and sigh heavily. First things first. Where are my clothes? And how can I get out of this situation with some of my dignity still intact? Oh, you thought that was gone long ago huh? Well it's still here; I just have to keep what little I have left of it. Seems like I've been losing a lot of things lately… my dignity, my sanity, my soul, consciousness…

I grasp hold of the arm that's wrapped so snuggly around me and carefully try to pry loose the fingers gripping my side. But instead of being a good little hand it actually refuses to leave my body and takes a firmer grip on me. I look into prussian blue eyes and try to smile.

"You can let go of me now. I promise I won't go hide again." At least not right now, I add silently. But those eyes always seem to see right through me. How is it possible that someone can actually see behind my masks so easily? Instead of letting go, he actually slides his arm more firmly around my waist and hooks a leg over mine. Oh shit, what on earth does he think he's doing?

"Would you like another broken arm, possibly a broken leg this time?" I say as sweetly as possible, letting a large fake grin plaster my face. His eyes narrow and to my utter amazement he starts to laugh. Has he gone completely insane? How long was I in that bubble anyway? I think he can tell that I'm starting to doubt his sanity. He stops laughing abruptly and looks me in the eyes for a few moments.

"Infinity, talk to me inside my head?" His gaze is intent as he looks into my eyes. I try to laugh but nothing comes out. What the hell is going on here? I shrug as best I can and slide along that invisible strand that stretches between us.

Entering his mind is like entering a familiar building that has been completely redecorated since the last time I visited.

// What did you do?! // I squeeze the arm that's still holding me, hard, and glare into those dark blue eyes.

// I think I messed up; I was only trying to show Heero what I saw. I wanted him to know what you showed me. // His eyes take on an innocence I know is at least half fake.

// Duo? What in the name of all that's wrong with the universe did you do!? //

// I think I switched us somehow. I tried to let him see what I was seeing and the next thing I knew, I was in his body and he was in mine. //

// Hmph, yeah, and then you banged like over heated rabbits. // I growl the thought out and watch him flinch a little. Good, he at least has the decency to feel guilty.

// So how do we switch back? I don't want to mess up again. I need your help. //

I look into those pleading eyes and hold back the sudden urge to laugh at him. Why do I feel so evil lately? It's like all the parts of me that cared have been shut off. I don't want to hurt these boys, but I have the nastiest feeling that if I don't get away from them soon, I will. I try to shrug these feelings back into hiding and instead muse over this little dilemma.

// Close your eyes, I'm going to try something. //

I'll make it all go away. I smooth the black bangs back from his forehead and slowly brush a finger across his closed eyes. Only a few ways of putting the boys back where they belong. I've never had to do this before, and who knows if I'll get it right the first time. With any luck I won't permanently damage either of them. And then there's this insistent little part deep inside me that almost hopes I do damage them. It wants to harm them, kill them, and destroy everything about them. I sigh and lay my open palm against his smooth cheek. Then I close my eyes and open myself to the energy.

I'm almost expecting something to go wrong. Ever since I over used the power and my eyes changed I've felt so strange. Like something's taking over from the inside. Crawling up through layers of dirt where I buried it long ago. I shake my head and stare at the threads of energy stretching around me. Now this is interesting.

The strands that connect them are snarled and twisted together. It seems as if the thread connecting them to each other has turned in on itself. It almost looks like a knot of Celtic origins. Well, I was always good at little puzzles like this, I just need to solve the riddle and set everything to rights. I carefully start maneuvering the strands around each other. Weaving them back and forth, under and around. Gradually I can see them straightening and bending back to where they belong.

Now I take a final look at what lays before me, two threads wrapped around each other and yet separate entities unto themselves. So this is what love does. It twists you around another person so completely that you become entangled within them, trapped. It's almost tempting to start unwinding those loving strands. Rip them apart; separate them just to see what would happen.

I give myself a mental shake and carefully ease the energy forces back to where they belong. Outside my body I can feel a new set of hands grip my waist. I open my eyes. My hand is still resting against Heero's cheek; I stroke it and wait for his eyes to open. Slowly they do, staring at me with an intensity I've come to recognize as perversely Heero Yuy. I smile at him.

"Welcome back. Have a nice trip?" His face takes on a red hue and I show my teeth in an all out grin. "You were very naughty while I was away. Don't you have anything to say about your behavior?" I wait for an answer, and tap his head as if I know what thoughts might be in there. In a bizarre way I do.

"It wasn't his fault, I talked him into it," Duo's voice rises from behind me. I turn my head and look over my shoulder at him. Though I've been with them while they've had sex, though I've gotten as close to them as possible without actually getting involved too much, I can still feel a small tug right over my heart when I look into those deep eyes. There's something about these two, something I should know. But I don't have a clue as to what it is I'm missing.

"Why do I have the feeling you didn't have to talk very hard or very fast? You did it on purpose. You knew it would reach me. And all I want to know is why you felt that desperate urge to get to me. I will bring you to your deaths, I can almost promise you that." I stare into Duo's eyes with determination. I will sever the ties that bind us. But apparently Duo has other ideas.

The arms he wrapped around me when he came back to his own body are gripping me tighter then before. And there's this new steely light in his eyes. It's almost as if the more I fight against him the more he'll try to get me to give in.

"You like the challenge, that's it, isn't it? You love the fact that no matter how much I fight against the two of you, you still think your going to win. This isn't a game. Unless you want to die a very painful death I suggest you stop while you're ahead." I grind this out between my clenched teeth and take his hands in mine. I don't want to break his fingers, I really don't. But then, I don't want to stay where I am long enough to start to like it either. I don't want to be held, loved or needed. But his hands refuse to move; his gaze doesn't waver from mine.

"It's not a game Infinity. There's something about you, about this whole situation that's meant to be. Everytime you fight against it you only make the feeling stronger. I think until you find out exactly why you're here that maybe you shouldn't try so hard to leave." His face looks so serious. Why am I fighting against being near them so madly? There's just something about this whole thing that scares me to death.

"Now at least you know you can't hide from us. You can't run away and pretend there's nothing binding us together," Heero's voice adds quietly. I close my eyes and sink back against the pillow.

Why am I fighting so hard? Deep inside my mind a brief image flashes before my eyes. A body I loved, screams and blood, too much blood. I try to hold onto the slippery picture so I can examine it more closely, but it slides away from my gaze and sinks once more into my memories.

"Something, something that happened a long time ago." I haven't even realized I said it out loud until Duo whispers softly into my ear.

"What happened?" What happened? That question echoes within my mind and rebounds off the walls I never even knew I'd built.

"She died, I couldn't save her. I was too weak. Maybe, I could have done something." I can feel the tears gather at the corners of my eyes. I blink and open them wide, staring at the ceiling trying to force the images back into the past. But it's like a floodgate has been opened. I can see it all clearly once more. The night sky is black and no stars show.

"I don't know why I haven't been able to remember this." I can hear the shock in my own voice. I can't believe I've forgotten. I have loved someone before.

"Cain," I whisper softly, " It was Cain."

 

<cough cough>
we do know this is not a "Complete" SI right?
<blush>