Author's Notes: Don't worry, I'm not giving up on "Crazy About Nothing". In fact, I'm about 70% done with the next chapter. I was just searching through my profile and found this old fic, and deemed it worthy to post.
Warnings: 2+1, 3+4, 13+5, shounen ai (duh), humor, romance, a sick and grouchy Heero, and a bit of OOC.
Disclaimer: *sigh* I don't own them. Bite meeeee >P
Side note: When I switch scenes using the "**", that means that it's in story form, if you know what I mean. One "*" means I'm just switching views with the characters. I'm going to use this in the story form, too.
The Princess' Bridegroom
The blonde Arabian pilot quickly slammed the door shut behind him, just in time to block the vase that was aimed at his head. For a long moment, the door shuddered from the impact. Quatre shot a desperate, pleading look to Duo.
"Neee.. Duo.. he's become even harder to handle," Quatre whimpered, eyeing the still quivering door with a distrustful look. As if the door would betray him and fall, leaving nothing as a barrier between him and the hot headed pilot.
Duo sighed, balancing a bowl of chicken soup on a book. He flashed a cheerful (albeit a little strained) smile in Quatre's direction, then gently pushed the blonde pilot away from the door. "Who would have thought that a mere cold could brought the great Heero Yuy to his knees?"
*CRASH* "I heard that."
"Neee," Duo admonished cheerfully, opening the door and ducking another flying object (which, he noticed with distaste, was his shoe), while managing to balance the bowl of soup. "You oughtn't let yourself get worked up, Heero! Look, I even brought you a bowl of soup. Are you going to say thank you?"
"Omae o korosu." Was his blunt reply.
"Oi na! Good enough!" the braided pilot quipped cheerfully while handing Heero the bowl of chicken soup. The perfect soldier eyed the soup warily, then set down the other shoe he had prepared to heave at Duo's head.
Duo grinned cheekily and plopped down at the foot of the bed, cornflower blue eyes sparkling with their usual mischief. Dubious, slate gray eyes met his.
"What are you still doing here, baka?"
Duo beamed, holding up a thick book. "I'm going to read you a story!"
Heero's dubious look turned disbelieving (well, as disbelieving as it could get). "I'm perfectly capable of reading by myself."
"I'd be worried if you couldn't," Duo said, grinning and choosing to not catch the hint. He had this plan figured out perfectly - Heero would probably be too weak to kill him. "Now shut up so I can start."
"Good boy." Duo took a deep breath and flipped the book open to the first page. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful farmer's son, with thick, luscious chestnut brown hair, tied in a thick, luscious braid that fell past his waist. Words could not convey how beautiful this boy was.."
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei pressed their ears against the door, listening to Duo's tale, and each a little bit surprised that Heero hadn't gotten up and forcibly threw the other boy out of the room.
"Well," Quatre whispered. "If Duo's talking about who I think I'm talking about, then he's got one thing right. He is beautiful."
Trowa shot him a green eyed look.
"Don't worry! You're very pretty too!" Quatre soothed urgently. "It's just that.. there's something about him.."
"I agree." Wufei nodded.
Quatre's shoulders sagged with relief. "Good. I was afraid I was the only one who noticed.."
"Hush up you two," Trowa snapped quietly, still pouting. "I want to hear this."
"The beautiful boy's name was Duo Maxwell."
Heero choked on a noodle, successfully interrupting the story.
The Shinigami shot Heero a dark look. "Don't deny it, Yuy. You know damn well I'm beautiful," said Duo, preening.
Heero picked up the shoe he had set down earlier and heaved it at him.
"Gah!" Duo yelped, diving out of the way and therefore disrupting the soup. Heero frowned and set the half finished soup on the ground, frowning even more at the wet spot on his green tank top.
"Uh.. sorry? But it was your fault you know.." Duo giggled, rubbing the back of his head.
Heero just glared.
"Nee.. shuddup and lemme continue."
"And take off your shirt. When the broth cools you're just gunna make yourself more sick."
After a few loooong moments of glaring, Heero obliged then lay back, closing his eyes and letting the musical lilt in Duo's voice lead him into a dream like state, picturing the scenery and the people..
One thing that the beauteous Duo Maxwell loved to do was pester the hell out of a certain dark haired farm boy, trying to make a smile appear on those ice like lips. Not to mention ordering him to do things that he himself was perfectly capable of doing. However, the only thing that passed the farm boy's lips was "omae o korosu."
"Farm boy," Duo said, swinging an empty bucket. "Fill this bucket with water."
The farm boy, of course, responded with, "omae o korosu."
When the farm boy disappeared to retrieve the water, Duo frowned, highly unsatisfied. He had once again been unable to get a different reaction besides that irking "omae o korosu" from the equally irking Heero Yuy.
Heero's eyes snapped open. He let his head roll to the side so he could get a better look at the smirking Duo. The stoic pilot had suspected that Duo had been talking about him, and the braided boy's last sentence hand confirmed his suspicion.
"Why are you telling a story about me and you?" he asked, interrupting the next sentence. "And why am I a.. farm boy?"
"Don't complain. It's a good story." Was the response he got.
Heero sighed and closed his eyes, wondering just what torture the American pilot would inflict on him.
However, after months of teasing and pestering the defenseless farm boy and nearly tearing his hair out with frustration, it became apparent to the braided beauty that the true meaning of "omae o korosu" was "I love you"--
Heero, who was reaching for something to throw at Duo if the story got too out of control, fell off the bed.
Although laughing, Duo felt a blush creep up the back of his neck to his cheeks and ears. He was worried about the reaction he would get from the Perfect Soldier.. and reverently hoped the other boy did not have his gun.
Heero pulled himself back on to the bed, looking just a bit surprised.
"That's not exactly what I mean when I say 'omae o korosu', you know."
Duo rubbed the back of his head. "Hey, I didn't write this."
"That's right. Shuddup so I can continue this."
What was even more shocking was the day it became apparent to Duo that he loved the stoic farm boy back.
Once again, the braided pilot was interrupted from his story telling, this time from a muffled squeak from behind the door. Annoyed, he glanced up from his book with an accusing glare, then glanced back at Heero. A small giggle bubbled up in the middle of his chest, but he didn't release it. He was afraid it would come out as a slightly hysterical laugh.
Heero looked like he was hit by a train. Twice.
Duo coughed, then cleared his throat, dropping his eyes back to the book. He could feel his cheeks warm up again.
Duo was standing in a small run down kitchen, idly drawing a picture of Heero in the powdery flour on the counter in front of him. He was thinking up ways to get the elusive farm boy to.. well.. notice him. Really notice him, instead of that annoying "omae o korosu." Sighing a bit, he glanced down at the picture he just drew, then sweatdropped a bit when he saw a little.. him kissing the little Heero's hand.
Duo spun around, feeling the familiar presence of the one he deeply cared for. Indeed, Heero was on the other side of the room, apparently looking for something. The braided beauty leaned guiltily against the counter, hiding his little doodle. He watched with hooded eyes as Heero glanced at the other boy with an unreadable expression, then turned around and started to walk away.
The farm boy paused, then slowly turned around to look at Duo, who was turning an interesting shade of red.
~What on earth possessed me to ask him to wait?~ Duo glanced around the room desperately, trying to find something that would make the dark haired boy stay. His violet eyes finally found a pitcher, that was right over his head and that he was more than capableof reaching.
"..Fetch me that pitcher," Duo ordered, staring at Heero with a challenging look. The farm boy matched that look, then walked with an agonizing slowness to the pitcher. Duo didn't move.
"Omae.. o korosu," Heero whispered, looking deep into Duo's eyes. The violet eyed boy smiled a little, earning a very tiny, barely noticeable smile in return.
"WHAT?! They didn't kiss?!"
Trowa and Quatre glanced at Wufei, both supporting rather large sweatdrops. If anything, that was the last thing they expected to hear from the justice crazed pilot.
Noticing the two shocked glances from his friends, Wufei had the decency to blush.
That evening, underneath the setting sun, the stoic farm boy and beauteous braided boy shared their first kiss.
Duo paused once again, watching with slight amusement as a whole army of emotions played across the sick pilot's face. That was the first time he had even seen a real emotion on Heero's face, let alone a whole mess of them! He wondered idly if he should feel guilty or not..
~But hey..~ Duo thought with slight hope, ~He hasn't killed me yet.. or even threatened to. That's a good thing, right..?~
~Then again.. he hasn't answered at all..~
"Well," Quatre said in a light voice, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "There's your kiss."
Wufei turned an interesting shade of maroon. "Injustice.."
After a week of pure bliss, not to mention a lot of sex..
This time, the squeak came from Heero's direction. Duo raised his eyebrow at the other pilot, not expecting something like that come from the "perfect soldier". He pursed his lips together to stop a smile.
Heero clutched the sheet to his nose. He had a sudden nosebleed.
"Kuso," Wufei hissed, holding his sleeve to his nose. He idly hoped he wouldn't pass out from blood loss..
..the farm boy had to leave to gather some supplies from the Oz kingdom. A few days after his departure, a crier came back with heartbreaking news.
Heero's ship was taken over by the Dread Pirate The Perfect Soldier, and he was forced to self destruct.
For seven years, Duo grieved for his lost love.
"I will never love again."
Duo sweatdropped and glanced up from his book.
"You.. you killed me?" Heero asked, sounding highly betrayed. What amused Duo more was the pout that danced across Heero's lips. A small smile played across Duo's lips and he dropped his eyes back to the book.
"Patience is a virtue, Hee-chan."
Trowa awkwardly patted the sobbing pilot on the back, wondering why he was even bothering with these psychos..
"Heero's.. Heero's dead.. and-and.. him and Duo will never live happily ever after.. and.. and.." the pilot sobbed, burying his face in Trowa's shoulder.
Trowa glanced desperately at the smirking pilot, who was leaning against the door, then glanced back down at the one in his arms with a resigned look on his face.
"There, there Wufei.."
-end chapter one