hehe, now katra can stop yelling at me. i wrote, i wrote!

hopefully. egroups won't be bitchy. grrr....

huh, i've got some wonderfluff sap in the middle and various other parts, for you sap-addicts. O_O;;; lol, anou... anyways.

more plot twists! ^____^


FiND ME (15/i'm thinking 25-esque)


Duo woke up the next morning slowly, relishing in the feel of silk and satin, warm covers, soft bed, and arms around him.


He jerked awake as his mind unclouded and ran those things through again. Silk and satin? Warm covers, soft bed, and *arms*?

Blinking a few times, Duo yawned, sat up and took in his bearings.

Heero's arm was wrapped loosely around his waist. They were snuggled in the big bed in the room, and the sun was barely up. Too early to be up, certainly. But first he wanted to figure things out.

After a moment's thought, Duo glanced down at himself, half-apprehensively, and noted with some amusement that he was wearing blue silk boxers. Not his. Reasonable assumption was it was Heero's. It took Duo a full minute to realize that.

Duo didn't not wake up very quickly.

Running through the night's activities in his head, Duo was confused. Just light banter. A yawn from Duo and Heero had suggested going to bed, which had immediately stood Duo on his guard. Instead of what he'd expected, though, Heero merely offered more comfortable clothing to sleep in, which he'd gratefully accepted. And they'd curled into bed together.

A yawn reminded Duo it was still too early to be awake. Now that he had everything figured out, he wanted to go back to sleep. Snuggling under the covers again, he pulled closer to Heero and was pleased when the arm gripped him closer. Head tucked into Heero's chest, Duo dozed off in moments.

Prussian blue eyes peeped through lowered dark lashes. Lips curled up slightly into a contented smile.

Heero carefully lay a framed picture on his desk. He looked fondly at the four faces, all with various forms of smiles, gazing back at him. Quatre's grin was by far the sunniest. Trowa had a hint of a satisfied smirk; he reminded Heero of a cat. Wufei's eyes lips were twitched up funnily, and Heero almost giggled looking at it. And Heero, Heero's eyes smiled. They glowed with happiness. It sufficed.

"Doing anything this weekend?" Trowa's voice came from behind him. Heero swung around.

He blushed slightly and nodded. "Wufei and I are celebrating our 6 month anniversary," he said softly.

Trowa threw a glance at the calendar, which verified Heero's claim. "Ah, I see."


Shrug. "There's a circus performing in San Francisco and we wanted to take you."

There was a moment's silence, then a soft sound from Heero. "I wonder if Wufei would want to see a circus..."

Trowa looked at Heero to see that in those Prussian blue eyes was a definite longing to go see a real live circus. Trowa snickered.

Bella walked down the hallway to her apartment in a half-daze. "Wow, I need sleep," she murmured to herself.

"Bella?" a concerned voice came from down the hallway. Bella looked up to see Jess and Eryn at the foot of the stairs, peering at her curiously. As if she was about to fall down, Bella thought ruefully.

"I'm fine," she called back cheerily. "Just tired." The twins were visibly relieved and began walking up the stairs.

"Hey Bella," Jess stopped, turned around, and called out.


"Y'seen Duo? Or is he still out?"

With a snicker, Bella replied, "He's out. Same guy as before." She rubbed at her eyes in an effort to stay awake a few more moments.

Eryn grinned at her. "Bella, you're about to fall asleep on your feet. Go to sleep."

"Will do," came the yawn-enveloped reply, as Bella dragged herself to her apartment.

Jess and Eryn began walking up the stairs again, quiet and deep in thought for a moment. They reached the door to their apartment and Eryn fumbled for her key, then let them in.

Finally Jess broke the silence. "Duo went with Heero, huh?" she said softly, more to herself than to her sister.

Eryn threw the keys on the kitchen table and closed the door behind them, locking it. "Yep. What's your bet on how long it takes for Duo to find out?"

A grin from Jess. "Duo's a smart kid. Give him a week; two, tops."

Her sister giggled, throwing herself on their couch. "Get the phone, Jess. How long until he comes back?"

Jess looked thoughtfully for a moment. "You think Duo's gonna kill Heero, huh?" A slow nod from her sister confirmed. "Dunno. He's precise. Three days, maybe four."

"Sounds right," Eryn said lazily, catching the cordless phone thrown from Jess.

"Calling Alex?" came the yell from the bedroom.

"Of course!"

"Tell him I say hi. And that we'll be home in a month, tops."

"Will do."

"Do we ever find out the reasons for the missions?" It was barely a whisper, but Tobias heard.

"Rarely. Why?"

There was silence save for the minute rustling of the foliage they were trekking through. Tobias could barely hear Heero's breathing.

Finally, even softer than before, Heero murmured, "I'd like to know why I'm killing people."

Grimly, Tobias closed his eyes for a moment, remembering how young Heero was. Despite the fact that he'd been bred on the streets, he still had an innate innocence and kindness.

Heero, meanwhile, had continued in his soft voice, "Even- even back in Japan, we killed people for a reason. Rival gangs, people threatening our existence, things like that. I don't like the idea I'm killing because someone tells me to."

"You get used to it," came the rough voice above him.

"Do you know why?"

The question was more than the current mission, and Tobias could hear the meaning underlying the words.

He realized he didn't know why. He'd never actually asked, himself or others, why he was doing what he was doing.

But to sidetrack Heero, who he knew to be very persistent, Tobias launched into the reason of this particular mission.

"Mr. Mordaux is a renown politician. This mission is more for the survival of Operation S than because someone paid us and told us to kill him. He's oftentimes sent out spies and suchlike trying to root us out. We've managed to dodge him until now, but it's taking a toll on our resources to keep ahead of him. He and his wife have been slowly but surely gathering information on Operation S and we need to kill them and destroy all incriminating evidence." A glance showed Tobias that Heero was listening raptly. "Their daughter is of age to understand what her parents are doing and if we leave her be, she will most likely continue their crusade, if not with increased force."

"I see," was the quiet understanding. "It is for survival."

The side of the house came in view. "Yeah."

"Ryoukai. Ninmu ryoukai."

The next time Duo woke up the street noises were seeping through the closed windows, and the bed was disappointingly cold. His mussed head peeked over the edge of the fluffy blanket only to encounter a pair of Prussian blue eyes staring back at him. Duo meeped.

Realizing he'd jumped a foot in response to Heero watching him thoughtfully, Duo blushed. Heero smiled slightly. "Ohayo."

An eyebrow rose. "Ohayo?"

"It means good morning." Heero hesitated. "Would you like to go down and get breakfast?"

Duo reached out and tugged on Heero's wrist. "No..." Heero took the hint and tumbled into the bed with Duo, who was grinning lightly. "Being here is fine," Duo added softly, as Heero took the violet eyed boy into his arms again.

"That's fine with me," Heero murmured, stroking the unruly bangs. He leaned on one elbow and surveyed Duo's mass of hair. "You need to brush your hair," he commented.

"Yeah, yeah," Duo said wryly. "Figures. Got a brush on you? Close by?" The last phrase was added carefully.

Heero rolled over and pulled open a drawer on the night stand. He took out a brush then closed the drawer. Leaning back over, he ran a hand slowly through Duo's mass of knotted locks. Duo mentally winced at the tangles. 'Man, this is going to take forever to do. Although if *he's* the one brushing my hair, I guess I have no right to object.'

Before Duo finished his train of thought, Heero had gently pulled him to a sitting position, with Duo's back to Heero, to ameliorate the brushing sequence.

'Huh,' Duo thought ruefully. 'Assassin and all, but he's damned good at brushing long hair.'

And Heero was running the brush down the locks, starting from the bottom and working his way up, careful not to break hairs or yank at knots. Duo leaned back slightly and nearly began purring. Heero smiled a little.

"Any reason why you keep your hair long?" the voice broke through Duo's reverie.

A light shrug. "I don't know," Duo said breezily, trying to brush by the question painlessly. 'It reminds me of my family...'

Heero could hear the traces of pain in the three words, and decided to drop the issue. He wouldn't press him...

Instead, he continued to run slow steady strokes with the brush, down the long chestnut waterfall spread across his knees. On impulse, he stopped brushing and leaned his mouth close to one of Duo's ears. And he whispered, "Stay with me."

Every vein in Duo was burning with something akin to fire as those three words were whispered almost pleadingly into his ear.

'I can't. I can't. I can't do this, I can't be who you want me to be, I'm only a regular street whore with a bad set of memories, I can't go with you, I can't stay with you...' An endless litany of reasons to refuse ran through Duo's head at a frantic rate. He opened his mouth to say something and nothing came out.

Heero, watching the racing thoughts run across Duo's eyes, drew back slightly and contented himself with running a thumb over the ends of a lock of hair.

Suddenly, abruptly, he pulled himself off the bed and stalked out of the room, leaving Duo in a daze.

'Don't do this, don't go after him; you can't keep this up, it's all a joke, you're not who you're pretending to be, you can't be who he wants you to be, don't go after him, tell him it has to end, tell him to send you home, he doesn't have to pay you, just LEAVE.'

A low sob caught in Duo's throat.

'He doesn't want you, he doesn't need you, he's just faking, he just wants a pretty toy to keep, that's all you are to him, that's all you'll ever be, you're just street trash, what are you doing, thinking you can be more than that, he doesn't love you, so DON'T LOVE HIM!'

Whispers came forth from his mouth. "Father, Father I can't see... I can't understand. Father; my Lord, guide me. Is this the redemption I have always prayed for or is this another torture you throw before me? Lord, what are you doing to me, in putting him before me? What is he? Is he who he says he is? Does he feel... the way he... seems to look like he feels?"

In the edge of his peripheral vision, Duo could see Heero standing stoically in the doorway. Without turning, Duo knew Heero's gaze was cold and emotionless.

Duo didn't look at Heero. Instead, his hand reached up to the cross caught up in his hair. Fumbling with the chain caught in the tendrils, he finally put it on his neck. A hand gingerly grasped the cross dangling across his chest. Then the hand dropped, and Duo turned his gaze pleadingly to Heero.

"I - I said this scared me," he said in a low voice. "And I didn't lie. I never lie. I don't know what I'm getting into now, I don't know what you're getting me into and God help me, I'm scared." His eyes didn't waver. "Help me, please?"

Time froze for a moment as Heero only looked back at him for a moment.

Duo felt his vision blur for a moment, then silently berated himself on crying. 'Idiot. He doesn't care. He doesn't care, STOP BEING AN IDIOT!'

Moments before Duo started up to run out, Heero strode forward resolutely. He reached forward, so tenderly, and wiped away a tear. "I'll help." Soft lips brushed against Duo's other cheek, wiping away the tears there. "You shouldn't ever have to cry," Heero added, in a whisper. Kneeling on the bed, he pulled Duo into his arms again.

"Relena, cover Jake. Lucrezia, go with Ama, Heero, you come with me." Jason rapped out orders and the others silently obeyed. "Should be simple infiltration; just that it's a big place, so we need lots of coverage. Heero and I will work on disabling any communications and security within the building. Relena and Jake are snipers today. Lu, cover Ama while she gets the info, okay?" Nods all around. "Good. Let's go."

Heero followed Jason quietly, holding his gun at ready. Their target was the building directly across the quad from them. Only problem was half a dozen or so security guards.

In about 30 seconds, they were no longer a problem.

"Let's go," Jason said in a hoarse whisper. Heero jerked his head in affirmation and they stole across the quad into the security building. It only took moments to dispatch the two controllers there.

"Lock the door, I'll log into the communications system," Jason ordered. Heero went to obey.

The locks on the door were too simplistic. Added to that, Heero set a few pieces of furniture in front, then stood guard.

"In." The monosyllable of minor victory was enough. "Communications stalled. I've got the security cameras disabled. Working on the rest of the security. Page Ama."

Wordlessly, Heero pressed a button on a small communicator he was carrying. It would send a silent signal to Ama and Lucrezia, saying that security was at least partially disabled.

"Should I check with Jake, too?"


Another button opened a communication relay with Relena. In less than a minute, a whisper came across the line.

"Peacecraft here. Yuy?"

"Yuy here. Communications down. Security cameras down. Working on other security measures."

"Done," Jason called from his console.

Heero amended, "All security down. Status?"

"Took down 13. Nobody else in this section. Jake got a bullet swiping his arm. Nothing much, we wrapped it, it's fine. I got a piece of shrapnel in my leg, but it was big enough to dig out. Bleeding minimal. Status fine."

"All right." Heero glanced at the communicator, which sent a green light from Ama. "Noin says they're done. Mission complete. Meeting place in 5 minutes, go." He opened a line with Lucrezia and repeated the same message. Jason, meanwhile, was cleaning up his traces. In moments they stole out of the building and across the quad again, sneaking in the shadows to avoid the dozen or so guards running around.

"Incompetent," Jason spat merrily at the guards. "Can't do shit." He grinned at Heero, who allowed a small grin of success in return.

Someone rustled in the bushes, and a simultaneous voice said, "Ama and Lucrezia here," softly.

"Relena and Jake here," Relena echoed from the other side of Heero. They all emerged from the foliage. Jason ran a quick visual check on all of them; nobody was injured in any way important.

"All right. Let's go." They took off for their hidden vehicle and drove away wordlessly.

Heero and Duo walked back into the hotel room after having gone out for breakfast. Duo had amazed Heero with his appetite, which had also amused him heartily. Duo had devoured two tall stacks of pancakes - one plain, one blueberry - with strawberry syrup, a side of eggs, a side of sausages, a piece of toast with butter, and two glasses of orange juice.

In contrast, Heero had spent breakfast munching on two waffles with syrup and a glass of milk. And watching Duo.

Walking back into the hotel room, Duo was nearly glowing.

'Maybe he really likes me. Maybe he's not faking it all. Maybe... Maybe everything's going to be okay.'

Almost the moment the door was closed behind them, the vidphone began to ring.

"Ch'," came spluttering from Heero's mouth, albeit quietly, as he pulled Duo into the bedroom where the vidphone was. On entering the room, he gently let go of Duo's hand and reached over to turn on the vidphone.

"Ohayo, Heero," Quatre said cheerily.

"Hi Quatre."

Duo slowly slid onto the bed, way out of pick-up range, and certainly out of range to see what was on the screen. The name was enough.

"How are you?" The sea blue-green eyes were flecked with worry. "Is everything okay? Trowa was worrying."

"Trowa is also reminding you that Treize plans on calling you, probably in an hour or two," Trowa interjected smoothly, sliding into pick-up range.

"Oh yeah."

Trowa smirked.

"But are you okay?" Quatre immediately brought the topic back to its origin, not so gracefully.

"Aa." A small smile crept onto Heero's lips. He looked over to the bed, where Duo was curled up, watching him. Being noticed, Duo blushed and looked away. Heero smiled and beckoned to him.

Slowly, Duo dragged himself off the bed, surprisingly hesitant. Eyes to the ground, he pulled himself into pick-up range. Puzzled, Heero reached out and took Duo's hand. With a grateful look, Duo let himself be pulled into Heero's lap.

"Quatre, this is Duo," Trowa was introducing Quatre. But his lover didn't hear him. He was staring with his jaw dropped at the long-haired, violet-eyed boy, staring back at him just as intently.

"Duo." The name spilled off Quatre's lips almost reverently.

Duo swallowed, visibly nervous. "Hey Solo."


Back to Part 14

On to Part 16