wow, i realized it's been over a week since i send the last part! gomen! hm. i make duo speak french in this, so. all french will be footnoted at the bottom. i figure i've taken the fricken language for, oh... this'll be my 6th year, so i'm hoping i can make coherent sentences in it. if i make a mistake, i'm so sorry! ack! french is *definitely* not my best subject. *winces* rii-ight.

LEMON WARNING! thought i'd just put that. huh. i insert random lemons. it's 1x2. i don't think there's going to be much more wufei/heero sex stuff. although there's a ... well, you read and find out. ^___^ i'm thinking this'll end at 20 or so parts. maybe more. not sure.


FiND ME - 12



The phone rang and Heero jerked his head up irritably. Duo was still clinging on to him lightly, and he didn't want to leave the boy on the couch.

So he did the most logical thing. Picked up Duo, still wrapped in the blanket, and carried him over to the desk the phone was on. 'It better be Trowa'.

Heero frowned slightly when he picked up the phone and the vid was off.

"Heero?" Trowa's voice came over the line. Before Heero could inquire about the lack of vision, Trowa added dryly, "Are you and he both dressed and fairly clean or should I leave vision off?"

Heero flushed slightly and Duo snickered, hearing. He snuggled closer, subtly.

"We're fine," Heero said tartly. The vision flickered on, featuring a smug Trowa.

"Hello," Trowa nodded to Duo, who could only nod back with raised eyebrows. "I'm Trowa, Heero's friend."

"Duo." A thin hand reached out to pull the blanket closer.

"You'll have to excuse me this, Duo," Trowa said, before launching into a near-speech - in French. "Heero, est-ce que tu es bien? C'est lui, n'est-ce pas? Il est -"

"'Scuse me," Duo said softly. Both boys looked at him. "I know you want to tell him things without me understanding, and it's fine with me. I just thought I'd let you know... je parle francais. J'ai habite au France quand j'ai 2 ans. Si vous parlez francais, je pourrai comprendre. Je suis desole."

He was surprised at Trowa's reaction: almost nothing. In fact, all he got was a nod of approval. From Heero, it looked the same. But inside, Heero was fighting the urge to ask how the hell a prostitute could know French and how he'd lived in France. It seemed to make sense on some level... but it didn't seem to fit with Duo. Duo didn't seem French.

Slightly amused, Trowa put forth a question to Duo. "Mais est-ce que vous parlez japonais?"

A wry grin. "Un peu. Ce n'est pas important. Deux, trois mots."

"Quel mots?" Heero felt strangely amused that they were having a conversation in French.

"Hai, iie, koibito."

Trowa snickered slightly at the last word. "Eclectic," he murmured, decided that the French was pointless. "Nice."

"Arigatou. I know that, too." A small shrug. "There's just some words you pick up in every language." A hand ran gently down the length of his hair and Duo sneaked a peek to see Heero's hand playing absently with the end of a lock of hair.

'I wonder what this is going to be? Does he want to 'keep' me for his stay in the city? Or is it something else...?'

"Treize is going to call you tomorrow. I told him not in the morning, so he said around noon your time; don't be out for lunch around then."


Trowa threw Heero an exasperated look, then flicked a glance at Duo. "Duo, please try to get him to understand that in Rome, do as Romans do. Which means generally, in this country, we speak English."

Duo giggled a little and Heero threw him a glare. At this, Duo winced a little; Heero flinched imperceptibly at causing this reaction, and let his expression soften.

'I can't let him control me. I barely know him...'

Trowa's attention turned off-screen, where a low murmur was faintly audible. "Kitte," Trowa murmured fondly, reaching out of pick-up range. He moved a little so his upper body wasn't visible to Heero and Duo, but they got a good enough sense of what was going on.

Suddenly, Trowa jerked his face back into viewing range, panting slightly. "Heero, I'll call you back." Click.

Silence for a moment; Duo and Heero exchanged a glance. Then both began to laugh out loud.

Duo's laughter was shyer at first, and Heero's more restrained. But the comedy of what had just happened overwhelmed them and they were laughing like close friends within minutes.

"I kind of like his idea," Duo murmured into Heero's ear. His grin was saucy, and the words seductive.

Heero took one look at him, then hauled him into bed.

"Well, FUCK YOU!"

Heads turned. Trowa raised an eyebrow. Wufei and Heero were oblivious to the crowd they were drawing.

"I know you want to," Wufei drawled, angrily. "Damn it Yuy, the hell is up your ass? A stick? Sounds like a damned cannon to me. Why don't you shove your head up there and try to fish it out, huh?"

"Seems like since that's your natural territory, you may as well try it," Heero shot back sugar-sweetly.

Both boys were, obviously, seeing red.

"Aw, the little boy's got a come back," Wufei sneered. "Baby, I don't know what world you came from, but you're a fuck-up in this one and you know it."

"And who's the one that fucks me?" was the bitter retort.

"What are they arguing about?" Relena whispered to Trowa, having sidled up to him unnoticed by the screaming pair. This was becoming a nigh-fortnightly ritual, and people noted it was better than going home and watching sitcoms, at times. Trowa knew from private admission from Heero that after arguments came the gentlest and sweetest lovemaking, which, after they had both cooled down, often made it worth it.

"Wufei was getting on Heero's case about having as much sympathy and emotion as a rock. Heero said that Wufei was trying to hard to be someone he obviously was not. Somebody should take a sledgehammer and go at it to their prides," Trowa sighed.

Trieze waited in his doorway for it to escalate until the point where violent would ensue. Then he would stop it. Right now, it was providing comic relief and amusement on various levels. Both oriental boys didn't care that the rest of Operation S was watching them like a TV show.

"And if you didn't fucking pull your pigtail so tight, maybe your brains would work," Heero snapped.

"You're lucky you *have* any brains from the way you get knocked around so much. Carelessness, I suppose. The perfect Heero Yuy would *never* say it was his own incompetence, would he?"

"This is going to get violent, soon," Noin whispered to Dorothy, who snickered and nodded. "Dorothy!" Noin added in a hushed yell.

"Sorry." A giggle escaped. "Come on, admit it. You want to see them throw things, too."

Noin glared at her, but started to giggle herself. "Yeah, yeah. Wonder who'd win."

"Neither. Halfway through, they'd feel bad, find the nearest closed area, and not come back for hours."


The profanity turned to respective home languages, which lost some of their amusement value, as their listeners couldn't very well understand what was being said. True, Trowa had picked up on some Japanese and Treize was a fairly well-rounded linguist, but both decided that what was being said went well beyond the proprieties of normal, everyday language. Basically beyond anything they'd learned.

Finally the two were just glaring at each other, out of breath from raising their voices and trying not to kill each other. Everyone nearly winced at the thought of having to pass through them to get to the other end of the hallway.

There was absolutely silence for at least 5 minutes. Relena didn't even dare breathe, until she was gasping for air and Trowa looked at her quizzically.

"Baka." The low, affectionate tone rang out and Heero smirked, one step up from disdainfully, at his lover.

Wufei sneered, took three steps forward, and delivered a kiss Dorothy timed at 3:47. Noin looked at Dorothy, rolled her eyes, and decided it better not to ask.

"Mm," the moan was low and calculated again, and Heero inwardly glowered at the youth beneath him. Outwardly, on the other hand, it was all he could do not to fuck him through the bed at the moment.

Through the force of habit, Duo found himself falling into seducing Heero again. He realized it was because he was afraid, and it was handy to cover himself up with the mask. Still, he wished...

Heero's breath shortened when talented fingers danced their way across his chest.

Duo reached out and tugged lightly, tantalizingly, at Heero's shirt, pulling him on top of him. Almost wide-eyed, Heero stared at Duo for a moment. Duo stared back evenly. Then Heero's eyes iced over.

Duo lost his breath as Heero delivered a forceful kiss, pressing against those tender lips, nibbling and demanding entry. With almost a sigh of relief, Duo parted lips and let Heero plunder his mouth. The tongue flicked hungrily around, sparring with Duo's tongue. Meanwhile, Heero let his hands roam the shirtless body beneath him.

Moaning slightly, Duo arched up somewhat to rub his erection against Heero's. With a muffled growl, Heero shoved Duo back down with one wrist, then roughly shoved Duo further up the bed so their legs weren't dangling off the edge.

'Be harsh with me lover. I don't understand this soft thing. I don't understand that look you had in your eyes. This I can understand.'

Heero began to bite and nibble his way down Duo's body, soothing the angry red marks with kisses and licks. Duo began to writhe with between bites and kisses, shivering the slightest bit. He whimpered and brought his hands up to toy with the chunky dark hair looming above him. Swiftly, Heero snatched the offending wrists and held them above Duo's head. "Don't move them," came the controlled growl. Duo nodded his understanding.

In one calculated pull, the leather pants came off, revealing Duo completely. His erection was red and swollen and probably painful, Heero noted cynically. He pulled away from Duo for a moment to throw off his own clothes.

"Is this what you want?" It was the barest of whispers, and Heero barely mouthed it. Duo winced invisibly.

'No, no, it's not what I want. But I don't know how to tell you that. I don't know what I want... I wouldn't understand.'

Instead of answering, Duo bumped his hips up to meet Heero's, and gave him an even stare.

"All right."

A flurry of limbs, then Duo found himself on hands and knees in front of Heero, who was kneeling. No words were needed, Duo understood. He delicately lowered his mouth to Heero's aching erection and began to suck lightly, taking about half the length in his mouth. One hand reached under to massage Heero's sac lightly, while the other stroked the remaining length.

Duo pulled back to his parted lips rested at the tip, and he breathed hotly, then coolly, letting the alternating temperatures run chills up Heero's spine.

'Is this what you want?' went screaming through Heero's head. But the lust-filled fogged part of his brain threw that thought contemptuously aside.

It wasn't long before Heero choked back a cry as he spilled into Duo's waiting mouth who, again, promptly spit it back out. Duo licked his lips for a moment, catching any drops that had clung. He let a feral grin creep onto his face, the expression so close to the one of the night Heero'd first met him...

In another sudden movement, Duo found himself on his back and Heero kneeling between his parted knees. Heero reached to the night table blindly and his hand came in contact with the small tube of lubrication. Flipping open the lid, he poured a generous amount on his fingers. With said fingers, he began to harshly probe into Duo, who whimpered and wriggled a little. Heero coldly ignored it all.

Growing impatient, and losing his self-control, Heero pulled out his fingers. Before Duo could react to the lack inside of him, he was filled again, completely, and quickly. Duo bit back a cry and instead let his features grow mellow and slid a smirk onto his moist lips. Heero pressed down another kiss with bite, then concentrated on pounding into Duo. Duo's expression didn't change.

They locked eyes. Nigh-violet and Prussian blue. Violet eyes twinkled teasingly. Blue eyes held their own, coldly and icily. Emotionless. Then Heero felt himself release and let himself cry out. Almost as a last minute thought, he pumped Duo until the boy beneath him arched his back in silent cry and came. Then Heero pulled himself off the bed.

Disregarding his lack of clothing, Heero made his way to the desk drawer and opened it again. A stack of bills came out, same as last time. This he set on a chair near him.

"Take it and leave." These words, icily delivered, fell off his lips almost effortlessly.

Duo gave a mock bow, smirk still in place.

'What have you done to me...'

Without a backward glance, Heero walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him.

Leaving Duo still sprawled on the messy bed. Sighing, he lifted himself to a sitting position and let the smirk fade away. His eyes focused on the money sitting in the chair, waiting for him. Stifling any thoughts - he didn't want to think about this morning and last night - Duo cleaned himself off with the already sullied sheets, threw on his clothing, gathered his belongings off the couch, and tucked the money into his pants. Then he walked out, glancing back once, something flitting through his eyes.

"Did you know Wufei has a sister?" Treize remarked in a casual tone. He'd called Heero into his office, and Heero wasn't quite sure why.

The surprise in Heero's eyes was enough. Treize chuckled lightly. "He does. We can't find her name just yet, because she seems to have almost no records. It's not as if she's obliterated them, she just never had many to begin with. No birth certificate, no ID of sorts."

Heero's fingers traced the edge of the arm of the chair.

"This is relevant?" His voice was controlled and in his usual monotone. "Should we inform her, then, that we believe her brother to be dead?"

"I doubt she knew much about him," Treize answered dryly. "It would probably do no good. No, I just thought you might want that little piece of information." He shrugged lightly. Heero matched his gaze for a second, then looked away.

"And it would not be pertinent, since we are still not sure," Heero whispered.

Treize had let his eyes wander to the wall, but now he snapped them back to the teen in front of him. "Heero," he said slowly. "You know the odds of the mission he went on. If he had survived, we should know by now. There is no way he can still be alive."

Heero winced visibly at the words.

Duo began to walk lazily back home. He didn't want to take the subway, he didn't want to count the money, he didn't want to think. The last 12 hours confused him beyond belief, but the last thing he wanted to do was mull over it.

In hopes of distracting himself, Duo treated himself to a triple scooped chocolate ice cream. The sweet treat did nothing to alleviate his mood, but it did help his growing hunger. At least something was amended.

He began walking slower, almost to sight-see. He passed by stores he'd seen hundreds of times and had never been able to afford anything out of. Perhaps now he could. But he didn't want to know how much money he had, he didn't want to keep the money he had.

'Could I... could I have refused?'

Duo shook his head forlornly. No, he couldn't've refused.

'Why do they always lie to me?'

His mind broke down its self-imposed blockade and every thought he'd been holding back came pouring out.

'Why did he lie to me? His eyes... they almost seemed kind. Almost looked like they cared. But they never care. They'll do whatever it takes, whatever they want, whatever their fantasies are. Make a young boy almost fall in love with them, sure. I'm expendable, after all. Fairly worthless.'

Duo walked on, his eyes pinned to the ground, arms wrapped lightly around himself to block off the weak autumn wind. A couple leaves flitted over his head and he batted at them listlessly, on the whole ignoring his surroundings. A couple teens a little younger than him ran by, laughing and chasing each other. Duo simply moved to the side. There was some screaming a bit later as some celebrity or another shoved through the crowds with a barrage of bodyguards.

He turned right and the 'shady' streets began. The laughter died down to the low rumble of the city.

'I wonder why I try. I try to believe in people even though I know they'll all screw me over in the end. It's like I'm fucking masochistic or something.'

His braid tossed itself over his shoulder and he absently threw it back.

'Maman, est-ce que je ne suis pas adorable? Pourquoi, Maman, pourquoi est-ce que je doit vivre? Je veux etre avec vous, vous et Papa. Au futur... quel futur? Je n'ai pas un futur, la meme que je n'ai pas mes parents, et ma soeur. Ce n'est pas que je voudrais. Je voudrais... je pense que je voudrais mortir, mais ce n'est pas vrai. Je voudrais avoir 6 ans de nouveau, je voudrais... je ne sais pas. Je ne sais plus.

And my Lord, if you pity me at all, take away this pain. Make me forget him, because he has imprinted himself into my mind. I don't ask you to hurt him in any way - it's his life, and he decided to use my mind for a night. But please help me, Lord. It hurts so badly; almost as badly as coming home and finding my parents had died, and being spirited away. Almost as much as losing Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. Almost as much as knowing that I would never see my friends again.'


It was in the afternoon when Duo finally made it to his home. He unlocked his door and let himself in softly. Flicking on a light switch, he surveyed his room. Memories superimposed another room, from years ago. But that room had been several times the size of this, and filled with toys and clothes and books and various other things children liked. It had had a large canopy bed with huge billowing blankets and pillows. Duo could close his eyes and see the few stuffed animals lined up against the pillow. He'd deigned them childish at the age of 8, but kept a few given by family and close friends.

Over there, Duo gestured in one direction, would be the bookshelves with the models. Models from Star Wars, models from TV shows, models of air planes, and more models. Pieced together with a father also long gone.

And over there would be the computer. A new one every year. The last one had been black, Duo remembered. He didn't use the computer much, he preferred the TV and video games that would be... over there. And Duo swung his arm around to yet another direction. And.... and....

Duo flew himself painfully onto his bed, clenching his eyes shut and begging the memories to go away. To in some way be less painful. To fade, perhaps, somehow. Wrapped in thoughts of a past best forgotten, Duo finally drifted off to sleep.


Bella stuck her head in through Duo's door, wondering if he was awake.

"Bella?" the question came in the direction of the kitchen. "That you?"

"Yup," she answered cheerily. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Duo walked out with a cup of juice in hand. "Want something to drink?"

"Nah, I'm full." Bella closed the door behind her. She sat down on the couch and looked up expectantly. Duo had a slightly faraway, slightly more melancholic than usual, expression. "So, Koi, what's your pay?"

Duo redirected his sorrowful eyes at her, letting her see beyond the mask for a moment. Dully, he replied, "Ten thousand credits for my heart. I think I was on the losing end of that bargain."



--Heero, est-ce que tu es bien? C'est lui, n'est-ce pas? Il est - : Heero, are you well? That's him, isn't it? He's -
--je parle francais. J'ai habite au France quand j'ai 2 ans. Si vous parlez francais, je pourrai comprendre. Je suis desole. : I speak french. I lived in France when I was 2. If you speak french, i'll be able to understand. i'm sorry.
--Mais est-ce que vous parlez japonais? : but do you speak japanese?
--Un peu. Ce n'est pas important. Deux, trois mots. : a little. it's not important. two, three words.
--Quel mots? : which words?
--Maman, est-ce que je ne suis pas adorable? Pourquoi, Maman, pourquoi est-ce que je doit vivre? Je veux etre avec vous, vous et Papa. Au futur... quel futur? Je n'ai pas un futur, la meme que je n'ai pas mes parents, et ma soeur. Ce n'est pas que je voudrais. Je voudrais... je pense que je voudrais mortir, mais ce n'est pas vrai. Je voudrais avoir 6 ans de nouveau, je voudrais... je ne sais pas. Je ne sais plus. [long, i know] : Mother, am I not lovable? Why, Mother, why do i have to live? I want to be with you, you and Father. In the future... what future? I don't have a future, like I don't have my parents, and my sister. It's not what i want. i want... i think i want to die, but that's not true. i want to be 6 again, i want... i don't know. i don't know anymore.


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