11-14-2001

Title: Dear Heero
Author: chibiANGEL
Notes: i have no fricken clue about this thing. it's retarded, but hey. ^_^ i like to spew out nice depressing things. :::rolls eyes:::

 

Dear Heero,

Everyone says they miss me, did you know that? Quatre called me telling me to come visit him on Earth, with Trowa. Wufei even invited me to join the Preventers with him and Sally, and Sally agreed. Even Noin offered to take me out to Mars and help with the terraforming. Because I need to stop brooding, ne?

And I know they're all being sweet but right now I need to brood. About everything that's happened and what is going to happen. The future's awfully cloudy right about now, Heero. I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. No more wars to fight: sounds weird, ne? That's what we were brought up to do. What our instincts tell us to do. And now they're telling us that our instincts are wrong.

I wonder if you think about me. Do you remember me? Yeah, that loud-mouth braided baka that hung around with you a bit, during the Eve Wars? Huh, it's been over a year since the Barton incident; I doubt you think about me anymore. Not like I was important or anything.

But I miss you. And right after writing those words I know I'm never sending this letter because I would never let you know that. But I do. I miss you; I miss your Yuy Glare Of Death (tm), your "omae o korosu", your heartlessness, even hearing Relena squeal when she spotted you. 'Cause all of those signs meant you were around.

Hey Heero, do you remember Mariemaia? That girl that was supposedly behind the whole Barton incident? It's so cute: Une has taken her in Quatre and Trowa are like her surrogate uncles. I've visited her and them a few times. I hope she never has to see a war again. We were royally fucked up because of all that fighting, weren't we? I hope nobody ever has to go through the hell we had to go through. That's what I fought for: so others wouldn't happen.

You should go check in on Quatre and Trowa. I know they'd love your company. They're doing so well, it's nice to see that some of us can have a happy ending. Not me, of course. The God of Death is never allowed to be happy. But Quatre and Trowa have slowly begun to adjust, and Quatre's millions (okay, not millions) of nieces and nephews are certainly helping. The younger ones all love Trowa as a clown and he loves how he can make them smile. It's beautiful Heero, just beautiful.

Well, Wufei's still the same justice maniac, last I checked. But he's mellowed out a little. You never really talked to him after the Barton incident, did you? Not because you held a grudge - you never hold a grudge - you just never got around to it, right? Huh.

The Preventers are really good for him. I think Wufei would go crazy without challenges and missions like the Preventers give him. And it appeals to his sense of justice, which is always a good thing.

And what about me, you may be asking? Okay, maybe not. But still... I don't know. I have nothing to do. Hilde is worried about me, I know. Brooding. There's no other word to describe me for the last, oh... well, since everything ended. I feel misguided somehow.

And I miss you.

Gods, Heero, what the Hell happened to you?

And I'm watching the clock tick by, 'cause every minute seems to go by so fucking slowly. 'Cause I have nothing to fill the time. I don't know why Hilde tries to take care of me, and why Quatre and Trowa and Wufei and everyone are so concerned. I'm fine. Maybe lonely... but I'm fine.

You're never getting this letter. Damned if I know where to send it to. But it feels good just to write it all out.

Anyways. It's not like you can write back anyways, and besides, there wouldn't be anywhere to write to. 'Cause as of now, I'm coming to find you, Yuy. Damn it, Heero, I've waited to long, and I'm still hoping deep down inside of me that you might be glad to see me.

Hilde is going to shit a brick, but hey. My life, right? My choice, to live or to die...

~Duo Maxwell