3-22-2004

Title: #90 - Holding Pattern
Arc: Life With Heero
Author: Calic0cat <calic0cat@fastmail.fm>
Story Completed: March 21, 2004
Genre: Shonen Ai/Yaoi, Friendship, Romance
Pairing: 1x2, 3x4
Rated: PG
Warnings: OOC, Swearing
Archives: At Lev's Lair http://www.gwaddiction.com/levlair/ and at http://calic0cat.freeservers.com/ (my site) and at Mediaminer.org under Calic0cat. Anyone with archive permission for my other fics can help themselves.
Disclaimer: Duo and Heero and the rest of the GW gang aren't mine. This story is. Nuff said.

Notes: The arc begins between one and two years after Endless Waltz. Heero POV in this story.

'Thinking'
"Speaking"
************ Time passing or scene change

Author's Notes: See earlier fics for notes on the arc as a whole. Feedback is appreciated.

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Entering his hotel room, Heero set his laptop down beside the bed and gave the bedside phone a guilty look. He really should call Duo...

'The week is half over and I haven't even spoken to him since I slipped out early Sunday morning...'

Oh, he'd called the office a few times in order to verify certain terms of the Tanaka contract and to start scheduling the first job under the contract. But he'd managed to time his calls so that he'd spoken with either Hilde or Rick. And he hadn't called or e-mailed Duo personally at all. He just - didn't know what to say.

'Saturday started off so well and ended up such a complete disaster. And I made things worse by keeping my distance Saturday night...' Heero regretted the fact that he hadn't rolled over and hugged Duo after Duo reminded him that the next move was his. The reassurance that Duo hadn't given up on him but wasn't going to pressure him either had meant a lot to Heero. But he hadn't been able to bring himself to respond. He'd been frustrated and disappointed - maybe even a little bit angry - and he hadn't wanted to start anything that he knew damn well he would be unable to finish with guests right across the hall. He hadn't been willing to settle for comforting kisses and caresses.

'And then I didn't even hug or kiss Duo in the morning before I left...' Heero thought unhappily. 'Just snuck out without a word...'

He'd simply felt the overwhelming need to get out of there without even talking to anyone. His emotional control had been ragged and Heero had been afraid that it would give out entirely if he'd had to play gracious host at the breakfast table. So he'd slipped out before anyone else woke up - though he suspected that Duo had in fact been awake but had pretended otherwise out of deference to his obvious preference for a silent escape. At the time, Heero had just wanted to get away, get centred, and get his emotions under control. To put the whole damn mess behind him. But during the flight to L1, he'd started to feel guilty. Guilty about running out on their guests, guilty about shutting Duo out, guilty about his control problems that made the whole interrupted-weekend such a big deal in the first place.

He'd known that he needed to talk to Duo. But since he hadn't wanted to risk having to talk to their guests too, he'd decided to wait until Quatre and Trowa would be gone before calling home. So Heero had forced himself to put the entire situation aside and concentrate on preparing for Monday's meeting with Tanaka. 'But I was late getting back to the hotel Monday night and I really didn't know what to say, so I put off calling...'

And Tuesday night, he'd found more excuses. And now it was Wednesday night and Heero was sitting on the side of his bed with one hand on the phone and thinking that - considering the time difference between L1 and L2 - it was really getting pretty damn late to be calling... And he still didn't know what to say... And he would be flying home Friday night anyway...

'It *is* awfully late on L2, Duo's probably gone to bed by now... No point waking him up when I don't even have anything in particular to say...'

Heero pulled his hand away from the phone, simultaneously guilty and relieved. 'I'll just wait till Friday. It'll be easier face-to-face,' he rationalized.

It *would* be easier in person - wouldn't it?

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