7-20-2001

Title: Jen and Lo
Author: C
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: 1+2
Warning/s: Death, Angst, Possible Confusion, Heero-POV (OOC)
Note/s: See end of fic.

{ We have a legend.
Anyone who dares to jump from the mountain ...
God will grant his wish.
Long ago, a young man's parents were ill, so he jumped.
He didn't die.
He wasn't even hurt.
He floated away, far away, never to return.
He knew his wish had come true.
If you believe, it will happen.
-- Lo, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon }

 

"Why do you cry?"

"Because I love you," I whisper.

Your hand lifts, your finers ghosting my cheeks. "Why do you love?"

"Because it makes me happy," I say.

Confusion ghosts your eyes, quickly flitting away. "Then why do you cry?"

"Because I love you so much it makes me happy which makes me hate you so much it makes me sad," I cry.

A smile ghosts your lips, beautiful, sad, happy. "That's wrong. You've got to make up your mind."

"I can't. Love makes people insane," I say.

Thoughtfulness ghosts your face. "Am I in love?"

Peace fills the air.

You are dead in my arms.

*

My eyes snap open. I feel a hand cupping my face and reach for the offender, on my guard. "Hey," you say. Your face hovers over mine, concern openly expressed in your eyes. "Don't cry," you say. "Whatever it is, it's not worth your tears."

I touch my tears. I look at you. "My tears," I repeat.

"Why are you crying?" you ask.

I touch your cheek but you don't seem to notice. You only smile and wait for my answer. This is how I remember. I let my hand drop and say, "Because you are dead."

You act as though you don't hear me. Because in my memory, I never spoke it. You glance up at the sky we rest under and point. "Hey!" you exclaim. "It's a shooting star. Make a wish!"

I look up, but I see nothing. No stars at all. Because I do not remember them. "To be here with you," I wish in hushed tones.

But you do not hear me because it never happened. You are only in my memories, and I cannot change them. I can only be with you in my memories as they happened.

And I can only pretened to remember you said you loved me in my memories, even though it never happened.

Because they are my memories, even when they aren't real.

{ Jen: Do you remember the legend of the young man?
Lo: "A faithful heart makes wishes come true."
Jen: Make a wish, Lo.
Lo: To be back in the desert, together again.
-- Jen and Lo, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon }

___________

A-hem. Jen and Lo are two characters in the fantastically brilliant film 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' that deserved more awards than it won. The lines you've read at the beginning and end were taken from the subtitles. (I own the DVD and it makes me soo happy!)

Now, in case you didn't understand. Heero tells Duo he loves him then Duo dies. Heero is remembering after Duo dies. But he's adding to the memory things that never happened. He's saying I regret not actually doing or saying this when I had the chance. So he pretends they happen even when they didn't, because he wishes they did.

I finished this at EXACTLY 1:21 in the morning. That may be reason why it's a little confusing. I also took the time as a sign. 1x2x1. Ironic, huh?

Feedback is like food. I can't live without it.

 

L&L,
C