5-17-2000

Here is something i've written thinking of a friend.
thank you Raihne for helping me with the vocabulary.
AU songfic 1+2 shounen ai
i don't own them nor the song.*song's lyrics*
once again it's for all my friends and whoever tries to read this!
But, Emily, this has been done especially for you!!!
*******************************************

With you in your dreams

 

*If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry,
and if I'm gone when you wake up, it's not good bye,
don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress,
remember me, remember me, cos I'll be with you in your dreams*

 

" It's over ... it finally happened ...Nin... Ninmu Ryoukai... "

It seemed so strange ... after all this time, everyone's nightmare ended but for someone, another one began …

" I miss you so much " he murmured then he left his gundam, and went to rejoin the others who were celebrating the announcement of peace. He saw them torn between joy and incredulity. War had been their all life, now that it had ended, what were they going to do?? Wufei will certainly get along with Sally Po, Trowa will stay with Quatre but he, he was alone... He had
lost all he was living for... He tried to put on a good face for his fellow pilots, well ex-pilots, trying to enjoy the event as much as they did but failed. Sorrow filled his eyes and he went away under his friends' sad gazes. They understood without having to speak, they missed him too and wished he could have been here with them but fate had decided differently. They were worried for him. Since his lover was dead, he had been like a zombie.

 

 

A silent figure came near a tomstone. The place was only known by a few people :his comrades, Relena and himself. They chosed this place for its quietness. There he would lay in peace, his own little heaven. He remembered the time they discovered it ... They had had a day off so they decided to go walking in the woods. They got lost but found that place, it was wonderful, with a waterfall in the nearby, it represented the peace they were fighting for.

" I wish you were here with me right now ... You had no right to die on me like this ... I thought you were eternal but you left me there, alone, well, nearly... " he said sadly.

" Are you happy now? I do hope ... You deserve it ... Of course I would have prefered it had been with me but it looks like it wasn't written that way ... Yet, you could have changed our fate ... You really screw everything up this time!You finally managed in your favorite hobby ... I miss you so badly ... Did you really had to self-distruct?? Baka ... Ai shiteru, Heero ... "

Duo dropped on his knees and silently cried. His heart ached and he couldn't do anything. He had tried his best living and fightingbut he had lost his most precious treasure, and with it, all interrest in anything. Heero had been his whole world and now, his dream was shattered.

 

 

When he came back home, he found Quatre waiting for him, worried.

" Duo, daijouba desu ka? "

" Hai, Daijoubu " He thought about trying one of his famous grins but didn't had the heart to do it.

His blond friend looked at him sadly and took him in his arms. Duo yield in his embrace and cried again.

" ... no ... boys don't cry ... "

" shh, Duo, it's ok ... I know we'll never replace him and we don't even think of this. He was unique. But we wanted you to know that we 'll always be here for you. I know it's not easy to deal with this, you try to do as if there was nothing but we all can sense your heart bleeding and your soul crying. But for Heero's sake, you must clawy our way back again!!!! Look at you, the previous Duo would never have let this happen ... "

" The previous Duo never really existed!! " Duo said bitterly, shrugging.

" This Duo may have hidden another Duo but at least, he knew how to live!!! You're barely still alive!! "

" Quatre, I'm so tired, I'd so like to rejoin him ... "

" Don't even think about this!!! We won't let you do this!!! "

" ... "

" ... "

" Thank you Quatre. You and the others are really nice ... I owe you ... "

" No you don't ... we simply care a lot of you.You're like a little brother for us, you have always been here for us when we needed it, WE owe you... "

" ... Well, I think it's time to go to bed. Oyasumi "

" Oyasumi, Duo. Promise me you won't do something foolish! "

" I do. " He whispered before closing quietly the door, nevertheless Quatre did hear him and smiled behind his tears.

" Oh!!! Matte!!! " Quatre shouted, running after Duo.

" Nani? "

" Er ... well, here is a letter from Heero. He wanted me to give it to you if he died but only once the war would be ended, so there it is. " He handed in Duo a sealed envelope.

" Hee ... Heero... " Duo was too shocked to make any sensible sentence, so he just took his letter and went to his room, being on automatic pilot. Then he sat on the bed, stared at the familiar writing, and finally broke the seal. Tembling fingers unfolded the letter and full-tears eyes tried to read it.

" Dear Duo,

If you ever read this letter, that would mean that I would dead but that War would have finally ended thanks to you and the other pilots. I wish you never read this letter but I know I can't fool me anymore. I mean I know I am not eternal even if you seem to think so, I can die tomorrow, you can die in one hour, ... If I must die then I will, it's my fate but it will never be the same death as it could have been before. You learned me how to live, to smile, I took my strength from you, from your life, your smiles, your love. I cherrished the moments we had together and I'll cherrish all the days we're going to share.

I 'm sorry if I don't always tell you what you need to hear, or if I can't always be here for you ... I'm really sorry about this. Will you ever understand how precious you are to me??? I do hope that in a way I've shown you it ...

Duo, my love, please, promise me two things :
- first, don't cry for me. I don't deserve it and in addition , I'm hurting you as if you hadn't been enough hurt ... I'm sorry if I made you cry, if tears are now falling from these so beautiful eyes, I really didn't intended to do so ...I beg for your forgiveness.

_ then, please, go on living your life. I want you
to
live to enjoy what we have been fighting for. Life continues, we're all destined to die but your time hasn't come yet. Please, don't waste this precious gift, give me another smile of yours.I f one day you find love again, get involved, don't reject it ... It doesn't mean I don't love you!!!! On the contrary, it is because I love you (so much it hurts) that I want you to be happy even if it's not with me.

So please, don't cry anymore (you know you have puffy eyes and massive headache after that!!) for me. I may not be here with you physically but spiritually I'll be. I'll never let you down or alone. I'll always be by your side even if you can't see me and if I ever see you crying again after reading this letter, I'll be very angry. I let you guess what I would do: Omae o korosu! But don't be happy too early!! I won't let you near me for two hundred years, so think about it!!!

My love for you will never end, no matter what will happen.

Ai shiteru, Duo. I'll be watching you, don't forget!!

Yours forever,

Heero "

Duo held the letter against his heart, tears running freely on his pale cheeks. He dried them and said :

" I do promise, Heero. Just keep yours too. Ai shiteru. "

His eyes were full of tears but he didn't cry, now he had promised ...

" Oyasumi, Heero " Then he fell asleep, clutching his braid like Heero would have done and holding Heero's pillow tightly against him.

 

Quatre peeked in the room then closed quietly the door. For once, Duo looked peaceful. The braided pilot, well ex-pilot, had lost a lot of weight, his smile, his cheerfullness, since Heero disapeared so tragically. Duo wasn't Duo anymore. Just an empty shell at Duo's effigy. A silent shadow with dead eyes ... They all had been so worried. Even Relena had tried her best, but nothing ... since tonight ...

" Sleep well, Duo. Heero, please, take care of him " Quatre murmured before going in his own room.

 

 

*Don't cry,I 'm with you, don't cry, I'm by your side
Don't cry, I'm with you, don't cry , I'm by your side
And though my flesh is gone,
I'll still be with you, at all the times
And though my body 's gone,
I'll be there to comfort you at all the times.*

 

 

Duo felt soft wings surrounding him, a sweet warmth. It was so good, he didn't want to open his eyes. He knew who it was.

" Heero " He said smiling in his sleep.

" shh, my love, sleep, I'm here and I going to keep my promise. " Then a soft kiss was placed upon Duo's lips.

 

The next morning, Duo went in the kitchen and took his breakfast. The others were very surprised because for once he had a true smile that reach his eyes which were sparkling again.

" Duo?? "

" Hai? Oh,by the way, Heero says " Hi " to you, guys " He said chuckling.

The three other looked at each other very concerned. Had Duo become crazy???

" Heero, he never left me, he has always been by my side, in my dreams, everywhere I went ... I just was too closed to understand that and to feel him but now it's ok!!

He smiled again and hugged his friends.

" I 'm sorry I did such a mess... "

" It's nothing, Duo, we just thought you would never overcome this, but you did thanks to Heero "

" Yes, I did and I'll still do cos he's with me. "

 

 

*I don't want you to cry and weep
I want you to go on living your life
I'm not sleeping an endless sleep
Cause in your heart you al have our good times
I'll be with you in my dreams*

 

 

Gradually, Duo learned how to live again, to smile and enjoy simple pleasures. His friends were relieved to see him that way. They had really feared for his life after the war.They knew he wouldn't attempt anything as long as he could before the end of the war because it meant too much for him. But now, they had the TRUE Duo. This latter wasn't the the braided manical or loudmouth from the battles. It was THE Duo that had been there for every one of them, to support them. The one who understood everyone scars and wounds, the one who helped them to heal when himself was hurt.Without his cheerfullness, his brightness, they wouldn't have survived and may have self-distructed like Heero tried before he understood what the American meant to him.Now they were listening to him as he laughed while seeing a little girl playing with a dog twice her height. Duo frowned as he saw the dog running toward the road and the little girl going after him. The dog crossed the street and stopped at the opposite sidewalk. Duo stood up quickly, startling his comrades and ran after the little girl who was now crossing the street, calling her dog. She didn't see the car coming at top speed but Duo did. In a desperate attempt, he pushed the little girl aside before the car struck him.Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei who had followed him watched helplessly the scene with horrified eyes
until Duo's body hit the ground .

" Duooooo! " they screamed together, and finally free from their paralysis, they ran to their friends.

" How is she? " asked a weak voice.

" Don't speak, Duo. An ambulance is coming ... " said Quatre, eyes full of tears. Duo, too tired closed his eyes.

"Mister the Angel? Please forgive me ... I ... I didn't ... "

Duo opened his huge violet eyes and smiled weakly at the little girl.

" Don't be sad. It's not your fault! Just promise me to be very careful next time. "

" I will " she said, tears streaming on her little face as well as on the face of his friends.

" Please don't cry. It will only hurt you more.You have nothing to reproach to yourself. I'm sorry I made you cry because you shouldn't. I'll be with him and we'll watch after you, so smile to me now. " They knew he didn't just said that to the little girl, it was also for them. He gave them a last smile, saw them returning it and closed his eyes for the last time and murmured: " Heero " . The ambulance finally arrived but too late. Their friend was already gone. Far above them, Duo opened his eyes which widened when he saw the scene beneath him.

" Forgive me guys for the pain I'm causing " Then two arms surrounded him. He smiled and leaned his head against Heero's shoulder.

" I missed you "

" I missed you too, Koi. Duo, Ai shiteru " Heero leaned forward and kissed his precious angel, well, kinda angel cos an angel with batwings wasn't really THE typical angel, but Duo was HIS angel.

 

 

They buried Duo near Heero. They hoped they were reunited now. They had found an envelope in Duo's desk addressed to them. In it there was Heero's letter, and a little note from Duo.

" Hi guys!

Sorry I had to let you down but I've a rendez-vous! I promise if I died, it wasn't on purpose. I promised to Heero. Read Heero's letter (did you know he could write such a beautiful thing? Guess I did a great job with him!! ^_____^ ). Please, promise us the same I had to promise him.Well, change a little bit the second promise!! ^^ ; Quatre and Trowa ,I want you to mary!!^o^ You,Wufei, forget your pride, go to Sally, and propose her!! If you don't, she'll receive an envelope with very interresting photos of you ...naked!!! ^___________^ Yes, I know, there's no justice!!

I let you now guys, We'll be waiting for you, but don't be too in a hurry!! You have to live!!!

Ja ne,
Duo "

" We promise, Duo "said Quatre and Trowa.

" ... "

" Wufei?? "

" Kisama!! I promise but when we'll see again, then OMAE O KOROSU, Maxwell!!!! "

 

Somewhere, in Heaven laughs could be heard.

" Duo, did you really took photos?? " asked a frowning Heero

" Nope, but I hope that will make him react!!! By the way, Heero, you won't let him kill me, ne?? "

" Hn,baka...you're already dead " Duo sweatdropped.

" Always so romantic when you wake up... " then Duo eeped as Heero dragged him in their secret place to do ... well something personly.

Owari

 

*sob*sorry I killed them.But I really wanted to write this cos it counted a lot for me. And if something isn't clear in it ,don't be surprised.I'm not a very logical person!!^^ ; At least I hope you did understand something...well,I personly did (Aurelie no baka...it's normal, you did write it...) ano,C&C welcome