6-16-2001

Standard disclaimers applied :don't own the GW boys nor the song's lyrics "Lightning crashes " which belong to Live.AU.Oh, yes, it's also has a bit shonen-ai. Let you guess which couple it is...not really difficult!!^__~

It has a bunch of grammar, verb tense mistakes but please forgive me! Just a poor french student who's trying to speak and write english!! ^^;

Just a last thing....I wrote the text in past tense except for the scenes (you'll understand later) which are in present simple and present continious (are they still called like that??? I used to learned them with this denomination ...^__^ " ) to give the impression you were a spectator to a scene happening right now...er...is it comprehensible??? o.O

Well, I think that's all...hope I didn't forget anything... >.<
***************************************
Beloved child.

A boy laid on his bed, crying. He was too exhausted. Tired of life, tired of fighting, tired of hiding his feelings. Today should have been his birthday, well not his true birthday since he didn't know the exact day, but he didn't care. No one would ever care anymore. The one who cared died and he was left alone. He knew he shouldn't cry, boys aren't supposed to be crying but he couldn't help. Finally, he sank in a restless sleep. His room-mate entered the room, and went to his bed.

The silent figure sighed when he saw the tears stained cheeks, stroke them to dry them and put the covers on his partner 's shoulder, then he got rid of his shoes, climbed on the bed beside the sleeping form and took this latter in his arms. The one he cared the most cuddled up to him and nuzzled unconsciously against his neck. He watched him tenderly and murmured him what he couldn't tell him openly nor let him see cos he just didn't manage to show it:

"Ai shiteru angel of mine.I wish I could tell you and erase your suffering but I'm not good at that... Just give me a little more time"

Then he kissed him, tightened his grip around him and drifted into sleep.

Far above the now two sleeping boys, two entwined figures looked at them with sad eyes and murmured without being heard:

"Happy Birthday, our beloved child."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

He was having the strangest dream... He heard a voice calling him, it seemed familiar but he couldn't put a name on the voice but it sounded warm and welcoming.

"Come my dear child, come..."

"Who are you? Do I know you?"

A faint chuckled was heard.

"Dear, he doesn't remember us."

"Honey, it's not his fault! He was so young..." a male voice said, sad.

"Yes." sighed the first voice

" Well, would you mind telling me who you are? "

"Don't you really remember us, Maxime?" asked the male voice with a french accent.

"How did you called me?" his voice trembled.

"Maxime...It's your name..."

"Max...Maxime" The name sounded strange yet so familiar too.

"Max, don't you remember your parents?" then the two figures before him were lightened up and he gaped when he saw them.

"Mom? Dad? But...you're both dead!"

"Yes we are but..."

"Does it mean I'm dead too?"

"Nope!! We just loved you so much that we wanted to talk to you once
more...We obtained the right to see you a last time before going to
Heaven forever..."

"So Heaven exists after all, and God too? Just too ironic...Why didn't He answer to our prayings? Why doesn'the stop this killing war? Why did He let you die? And why did He let you now be here? "

"We wanted to tell you it's worth going on living, on fighting cos from your fight depends so many lives. Of course you didn't choose your faith but you can change the faith of millions people...We also wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday..."

His mother came near him and took him in her arms.

"I'm sorry we had to let you alone.You meant so much for us...I wish I had been there to comfort you every times you needed...But never doubt we loved you more than anything else in the world and if we could have chosen,we wouldn't have let you alone!"

"Your mom is right, Max, look!"

The landscape around them disapeared and suddenly was replaced by a scene in a baby's room.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The young woman is singing happily in the room. She is decorating the room with plushies and toys. Mobiles are hanging on the ceiling, the whole room exudes Life, Happiness and Warmth. The lady lovingly strokes her stomach and says:

"I love you my beloved one."

Two arms surrounds her and she leans back.

"Are you ok, mon petit sucre (1)? "

"Of course, mon petit canard (1)! The doctor said everything was all right, the baby is ok... "

"I 'm so glad! But, please, sit down, I don't want you to tire yourself out... "

The woman puts her arms around her husband's neck and quietly said:

"I want do anything which could harm the baby...I know the risks...I wish my physique and my health weren't so frail, but I want this child so badly...No matter what can happen, I wanna be mother... "

"Shh, Mary...Everything's gonna be OK, and we'll have the most beautiful child that one can have...girl or guy, it doesn't matter...just our beloved child and us, mon amour. Mon coeur t'appartient et je serais toujours à tes côtés. Je t'aime tellement...(2)"

"I love you too, Gaël! " She turns around, stands on tiptoe and kisses him lovingly.

When they break the kiss, he says her name devotedly. She raises her head, her eyes sparkling, and they look fondly into each other's eyes. He replaces one of her rebel strands and leans to kiss her tenderly.

"I love you passionately." he says, while she gazes adoringly into his deep blue eyes.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The scene faded .The teenage seemed to be desoriented and looked at his parents. They just smiled at him and showed him the next scene.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Now, the couple is in a car. Gaël is driving fast, panicked. Beside him, Mary is visibly suffering, but a radiant smile shines on her face.

" Just wait a little more, baby, then you can quit this tight place but not right now in daddy's car... " she chuckles softly. Gaël briefly looks at her, a tender smile on his lips, and strokes reassuringly her hand then her stomach, though still concentring the road.

" We'll be a family, in a few moments...I...I'm so...Oh...you know Mary, I think it's gonna be the third most beautiful day in my life! The first one was when I saw you the first time and the second one was when you married me...I'm so lucky to have you... "

" I am too Gaël. You brought me all that I needed... I'll never thank you enough for all the hapiness you give me. " She sweetly smiles then winces as she has a new contraction .

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

The scene changed again.
Mary is now on a operating table, she is pushing to give birth to her precious child. Gaël is holding her hand, encouraging her and wipping away the sweat on her forehead.

*LIGHTNING CRASHES, A NEW MOTHER CRIES HER PLACENTA FALLS TO THE FLOOR*

A new-born baby wails.

"It's a beautiful boy, Mary! How do you want to call him? "

"Maxime like your father. He always so good to me." She gives him a tired but happy smile. A nurse gives her her crying baby. This latter immediatly stops when he is in his mother 's arms, open two deep violet eyes and smiles.

"He's got your eyes,Mary. And I think he'll have your chestnut hair too..." Gaël sighs comically.

"But he has your smile and...look at his butt" she tells her husband, laughing. He raises an eyebrow, takes his son very delicately, and looks at Maxime's butt...and redenes. His son has the same small heartshapped birthmark on the left cheek of his butt... The still very red new-dad looks at his precious child, smiles, then turns to his wife and murmured "thank you" in her ear.

*THE ANGEL OPENS HER EYES THE CONFUSION SETS IN BEFORE THE DOCTORS CAN EVEN CLOSE THE DOOR LIGHTENING CRASHES, AN OLD MOTHER DIES HER INTENTIONS FALL TO THE FLOOR*

Mary smiles at the two men of her life. She's so happy. She managed to give birth to their son, their beloved child. But suddenly she closes her eyes in pain and passes out.

"Mary" says Gaël, panicked and frightened. The doctor and the nurses come running at her side and push Gaël aside.This latter holds tightly Maxime against him and watches them trying to reanimate his wife. Mary finally opens her violet eyes, chestnut bangs falling in them, and she smiles weakly at her two beloved.

"Gaël" she says, her voice so weak, "please promise me you'll take care of Maxime, no matter what happens, you'll always be here for him, to guide him and raise him, for us, for him, for our dreams...please"

Her husband promises, tears running freely on his cheeks, falling on the sleeping child in his arms, unaware of the drama playing around him.

" I'd like to hold him one last time "

Gaël gives her their angel and takes her in her arms, sobs helplessly and pleads her not to go away, to fight for life, for them three. Mary gives him a sad smile, kisses him and tells him tenderly that she'll always be with them. She kisses her baby, telling him all that he means to her and gives him back to his father. Gaël leans to kiss her once more, then Mary sighs.

"Please, forgive me for letting you two alone...I'm so sorry...But I don't regret anything that happened to me! I'll always love you and I'll be watching over you! I swear!", then she closes her eyes for the last time.

"Ma...Maryyy!" but Mary is now just an empty shell. Maxime opens his eyes, confused, not understanding why the man who smiled at him before is now crying, but he feels a void and begins to cry too. His father holds him against his heart and murmurs:

"I swear I'll take care of our son, I'll love him for the two of us, I won't let him lacking of love. He's now my only treasure on the cruel earth. Sleep well and peacefully, my angel "

*THE ANGEL CLOSES HER EYES THE CONFUSION THAT WAS HERS BELONG NOW TO THE BABY DOWN THE HALL*

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Duo was crying now in the arms of his mother. He wished she had lived longer, but life had decided others. He looked at her sadly and said:

"So that was my first murder...I killed my own mother...I must be damned."

Mary turned her head to her husband, eyes full of sorrow and helplessness while tightening her grip on her son, stroking this latter's hair.

"Don't say that Maxime, or Duo if you prefer" she sighed "I knew the risks I was taking but I wanted you so much...I was ready to try everything as long as I had a chance to have you, so don't feel responsible for something you aren't."

"But if I weren't born, you could have lived longer! "

"Max...Duo, please, believe us...Mary had been condamned since a long time, she suffered from a slow illness which was spreading all over slowly. She would have died from it if not from the birth... You know, our favorite old film from the 20th is "The Dead Poets Society" whose moral is CARPE DIEM. No matter what it implies, size the day, not to discover when you'll die that you didn't live. Mary's dream was to be a mother, and she would have sacrifice everything she had to fullfill her dream. I knew what it implied too, I knew I could lose her too, but I would have lose her even though. That's why I was ready to do all that was in my power to satisfy her wish and to make her the happiest wife in the world and the colonies! Then, when she died, I took care of you, trying to give you a happy childhood..."

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Quick scenes followed one another.

Gaël, waking up at three a.m to comfort a crying baby and changing him or bottle-feeding him. Maxime/Duo in front of his first birthday cake and smiling at his father, his first steps and first words, an exhausted father with a sleeping son sprawled on the couch.

Gaël trying to teach Maxime/Duo about drawing or helping to make a cake with flour all over them while they are giggling, and talking about his mother and showing his son photos of her...and what they don't see: Mary, looking tenderly at them, and smiling at their happiness...

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

As the scenes succeded each others,memories of a far long forgotten
happiness and warmth rush in Duo and he continued to cry ,for what he
had been longing for and which had been taken away from him...

Duo, the head still lowered, said to his father:

"You died because me too, didn't you?" the pain in his voice was so evident...Gaël knelt in front of his son, took this latter's chin and forced him to look at him.

"I didn't because of *YOU*, I died because of THE WAR! If I hadn't done anything you would have died and Mary would really have been upset and I would have died too cos I would have anything left on Earth to keep me there alive for...I had to protect you!! You were my only treasure left, my life in this world..."

"But you left me..."

 

*OH NOW FEEL IT COMIN' BACK AGAIN LIKE A ROLLIN' THUNDER CHASING THE WIND FORCES PULLIN'FROM THE CENTER OF THE EARTH AGAIN I CAN FEEL IT*

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

New scene:

People are running, trying to find a place to hide. Horrible sounds of weapons can be hearing ...Soldiers are coming, destroying all, laughing madly as they kill heartlessly the defendless civils...

Death, fear, blood are floating in a smoky landscape. A 4 year old little child has his eyes wide opened...These big deep violet pools are fulled of fear and lack of understanding...What is happening...His father told him about the war, but he never truely saw anything about it. Now he's running, calling his father. He pushes his falling chestnut bangs and keeps running.

"Daddy!! Daddy" the call stangles in his throat as he suddenly sees a
soldier appearing among the smoke.

"Hey, kid!! Let's have fun!! I'll count until ten then I'll shoot you!! OK?? One, Two, Three..."

As the soldier continues to count, Maxime's father appears, takes his son in his arms and runs. The soldier spots him and shoots but Gaël avoids the bullet. He hides for a minute with Maxime thanks to the smoke, and tells his child:

"Max, please stay hidden here, no matter what happens...Promise Daddy now..."

The young child looks uncomprehensibly at his father, but he sees how deadly serious this latter is and promises. Gaël rapidly hides his son better, then hearing the soldier's footsteps, he quickly goes in another direction after kissing Maxime and the forhead and telling him how much he loves him.

Now a deadly game of play hide and seek is engaged between Gaël
and the mad soldier. Bullets are flying but not reaching their target
and the
soldier is cursing between his teeth, whereas Gaël tries to lead him the father as possible from his son's hiding place.When he is sure he's far enough, he reachs for his own gun, loads it, turns back and fired. He sees the soldier falling, dead, but he knows he'll die too as his feels the last soldier's bullet he couldn't avoid penetrate his flesh...His last thought are for his son he has to let alone in an hostile world, and he feels guilty about this but he knows Maxime will go through it cos it's a strong child, but still...

"I'm so sorry Maxime, I can't protect you anymore, I must leave you...I can't even return to you...I don't want to indanger you...please forgive me, you and Mary my dear angel... " He sobs then closes his eyes for the eternity.

Maxime waits for his father, he hears the shots and silently cries...He waits as the night is falling and the streets are becoming quieter, even deadly silent...He shivers because of the coldness even if his father coat is warm...It's not like his father warmth...

"Daddy,where are you???" he whispers, tears streaming on his face. But he already knows the answer deep inside him...

He had seen the dead bodies in the streets earlier, he had seen the empty looks in the lifeless eyes...His father won't take him home, they'll never be together again...His daddy has finally rejoined his mother...And now he is all alone...Sleep finally claims him, and he curls up as if to protect himself against the cruel world around him, his cheeks still wet...Next to him, two silent and translucent figures watch him sleeping, their hearts aching to see him like that, to have to let him alone in a world of war...

The next morning, Maxime wakes up, and decides to research his father's body. When he finds it, he looks at the peacefull expression on his face, kisses him good bye and goes away, just hoping that someone will take care of the body...Then he vanishes in the streets...Maxime no longer exists...He's now just a No-name kid.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Duo looked at his parents:

"Will you still say I didn't cause your deaths?? I killed everyone I've been closed to...You two first, then Solo, Father Maxwell and Sister Helen, all the children of the orphanage!!! I'm just a bloody cold heart murderer!"

As he said this, short glimpses of everyone's death he was talking about flashed, quickly replaced by others... His parents felt helpless... They wanted so badly that he felt he had been and still was loved, that he wasn't responsible from their deaths but Duo was too wrapped in his deadly memories, they didn't manage to make him understand it...

Suddenly,the sound of a slap make them all raise their heads. Duo
rubbed his sore cheek and looked angrily at the one who dared
slapping him and...his jaw dropped...

"Hello Kid!" Solo was looking at him with a mocking smile playing on his lips. "you're more whining than even this stupid queen of the world! I didn't remember you that way!!!"

"So...Solo??? o.O" Duo hardly recovered from his surprise than another well-known, soft voice, even if not heard from a long time, reproached Solo his lack of tact...

"Sister Helen???" Duo was completly lost. Now it was Father Maxwell who was coming and taking him in his arms.

"Duo...it's been a long time! You grew up..."

"and he has a beautiful ass!!"

"Solo!!!!!!" exclaimed 4 voices while Duo was turning different interesting shades of red and Solo grinned silly.

"You're a heartbreaker, Kid!" sighed Solo and the others rolled their eyes...they knew this by heart since Solo didn't stop harping on this! They all sweatdropped, except Duo, and prayed in order him not to go on on this topic!

"er... Father, you too??? What are you all doing there? "

"Well, since you 've decided to make your parents' life hell, we decided we had to convince you too!!"

"Kid! Listen really carefully to them or I'll have to cut your braid and why not play a little with you, since I hadn't enough time last time we were togeher..." Solo laughed while the others scowled at him...Duo secured his braid against him and waited for the explainations...

 

*LIGHTENING CRASHES, A NEW MOTHER CRIES THIS MOMENT SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR THE ANGEL OPENS HER EYES PALE BLUE COLORED IRIS, PRESENTS THE CIRCLE AND PUTS THE GLORY OUT TO HIDE, HIDE*

Sister Helen took Duo in her arms.

"You see, Duo, your parents really wanted you and were ready to sacrifice everything for you! You're their biggest pride!! No matter what happened, it was inevitably...Your parents loved you more than anything else, you saw it...then your friend Solo..."

"Yep!that's me!!" Sister Helen sighed but continued:

"He loved you..."

"Yes!! And I still luv ya Kid!"

"Solo!! Please! ...Well, he cared a lot of you and tried to protect you the best he could. It's not your fault if you were immuned naturally against the plague! He was meant to die, and you couldn't have done anything against this..."

"Yes, they couldn't let me live or I would have been the L2 Casanova!! And I would have screwed you silly mmmpft..." Duo laughed as Solo was gagged by Father Maxwell and his father, and that Sister Helen and his mother were as red as two tomatoes...

"hum, hum...well, I'll continue" said Father Maxwell since Sister Helen didn't look like she was able to go on right now.

"When you were among us, we were so happy...you were so full of life and energy...You always wanted to help us, always ready to work...We loved you as if you were our own son...I hated the idea that you went to stole this MS but now I'm glad you did it, cos you weren't meant to die with us... Even if it's hard to believe, because of all you had to go through, God protects you, we all try to protect you even if you think you're all alone, with no one to help you, to support you,t o see through your mask... Our lives have been decided that way, but yours isn't to be short, sad and grey...you deserve happiness... It's not because we had to leave you in the shadows, that you don't have us or that there isn't any one for you any more! There is someone who cares for you, who wants to be with you to ease your pain and your sadness...someone who wants to open his heart to you but who doesn't know how to do...Someone who has his own demons even if he should blame himself for it cos it wasn't his fault, just like you... "

"But who is it?" Duo looked utterly confused.

"Heero Yuy, said Perfect Soldier" said his parents, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen and Solo in unison...well, Solo tried but since he still was gagged, it didn't really sound like anything....^^;

"Hee...Heero??? You must be joking! No way he can feel ANYTHING about me except the will to kill me!"

"Baka" said his father "Look at this."

-_-_-_-_-_-_

The landscape faded once again and Duo was in his room, just a few hours earlier...

Duo sees himself on the bed, eyes puffy and red. He makes a face:

"No wonder I hate crying!! What a face... " he sighs and hears giggles behind him.

He turns around and glares at his parents and Father Maxwell, Sister Helen tries to hide her smile and Solo is literally rolling on the floor...er...rolling in the air....^^;

He returns his attention to the scene and sees the door opening...Heero appears, silently walks to Duo's bed. This latter watches him, fascinated, as Heero strokes his cheeks and dries the tears that are staining his cheeks.

He's speechless when he sees how tenderly Heero puts the covers on his shoulders before getting rid of his own shoes and climbing in the bed, next to him. Duo would never have expected this from Heero. His jaw drops when the Perfect Soldier takes him in his arms, then blushes as he watchs himself cuddling up to Heero and nuzzeling against this latter's neck.

Finally, he threatens to pass out when Heero looks *TENDERLY* at him and murmurs him:

"Ai shiteru, angel of mine " Angel??? Heero is thinking of him as an angel??? Duo 's eyes open wide.then he realises: he's telling me he actually LOVE me???? oh my god!

"I wish I could tell you and erase your suffering but I'm not good at that" oh...I wish you told me too, thinks Duo, but I have to agree, communication isn't your best of your skills...

"Just give me a little more time" Don't you think I've waited enough snorts Duo and he suddenly suffers from a nosebleed when he sees Heero kissing him. HeeroiskissingmeHeeroiskissingmeHeeroiskissingme...

Behind him, the other share triumphant looks! Ninmu Kanryou!! Duo has now a reason to continue to fight and live for... Now that he knows his "Hee-chan" loves him, he won't let him go...

Duo turns to them, smiling and tells them:

"I understand now...I couldn't fight against all that happened cos it was meant to happen but I can fight for this to happen, to preserve it and to have my own life, not to live in the past anymore...Thank you, you all...I miss you all so much but my destiny is there" he says, pointing at the bed....

"Happy birthday Duo" they say all together.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

The landscape changed again the the surrounding were now white and bright. Duo looked at them smiling then he frowned.

"But Father, don't you consider it like a sin?" asked a puzzed Duo.

"As long as there is love, then I don't think it's a sin... God bless you Duo"

Sister Helen took him in her arms, held him tightly against her and told him to be happy and not to forget to live for himself .

His parents hugged him one last time and said:

"Remember, Duo, Seize the day! CARPE DIEM!"

Finally, Solo, who had managed to free himself from his bounds, jumped on Duo and they rolled, on the floor.

"Don't forget Kid, I still be here if you need help!!! He's cute but you're cuter...well, we still can make a threesome, whatcha think???" he managed to pat Duo's bottom before the others dragged him away away from Duo, saying good bye to him then they disappeared from his sight. Duo sighed heavily....He got too much emotions in one night! His look softened when he watched the two entwined figures in the bed...

"Heero, Ai shiteru zutto and I won't let you go" He chuckled then yawned and closed his eyes.

Heero tightened his grip around Duo when he felt this latter wriggling in his arms. Then he opened his eyes and was nose to nose with Duo and he nearly drowned in his deep liquid violet pools.A small smile was playing on Duo's lips.Heero wanted to pull away and break the eye contact but he was struck...and looked Duo leaning to him and...backing away, frowning.

He growled and pinned Duo on the bed. Duo eeped but was cut when Heero kissed him, demanding entrance. Carpe Diem!! He opened his mouth and engaged a sweet tongue battle. He purred. He finally had something worth living for and fighting for, he would never be alone anymore. Then all his thoughts returned to what he was doing and enjoyed it fully.

Far above them, five figures sighed happily to see their son and protégé finally happy, before heading to Heaven.

"Solo, you know you're really a hentai?"

"Sorry, I couldn't help, Kid, well, Duo is just too funny to tease..."

The voices faded away and the ones beneath got louder.^^;

"Hey, the Kid is really noisy, ne??"

"Soloooooooooo! Shut up!!!"

~owari~
(1) french emotional nicknames...kinda like Honey, Sugar, and all the rest...
(2) My love. My heart is yours and I'll always be by your sudes. I love you so much.

ok, that's all...boring fic, ne?? any way,C&C welcome...
I need them to do better next time...^^; Thank you for reading!!!

aurelie