11-29-2000

WARNING: I am a DEGRADED individual. If you get half way through this fic and want to stop reading. . .don't. Just finish—it will be worth it. This fic has violence, angst, rape, lemon, romance, 1x2 pairing. It also, like all of my fics, has a happy ending. I'm not ruining it, I always write happy endings. I like it, but as I said, I am a DEGRADED individual with a twisted mind. >__<

P.S. This is not short.

Untitled

 

"He's...oh-my-God-he's alive!?"

Trowa raised an eyebrow slightly at the absolute joy radiating from the boy's face. //I guess Quatre was right. Well, that's no surprise. He usually is when it comes to matters of the heart. It's a shame. It really is...//

"Is he here?" Duo asked eagerly, "How is he? I can't believe he self-detonated and walked away. He can walk, can't he?!" His eyes widened in sudden horror. "Oh man, he--"

"Duo."

Duo's eyes widened even more as he looked at Trowa's slightly exasperated statement. "What?"

"He's fine. He's almost completely healed. You shouldn't be so surprised, he's self-detonated before and walked away. Come on," Trowa turned with Duo following, not even looking back at his precious Shinigami. "He's in the kitchen with Quatre."

* * *

//He's alive. He's alive. Oh man. I've wanted to see him for so long.// Duo sat at the table, watching Heero as he discussed the new mission with Quatre.

"It's going to be very dangerous. I don't say that lightly." Heero turned and pinned Duo down with a glare, expecting the long-haired boy to be grinning, but he wasn't. His eyes were wide, and a solemn statement was on his face. //What the hell is wrong with him?// "What?" He kept his voice carefully neutral, but his eyes narrowed.

"Huh? I didn't say anything." Duo looked around the room in confusion.

//I know//, Heero thought, //that's the problem.// "Are you listening?"

Duo looked like a deer caught in a set of headlights for a moment, then he closed his eyes. //Think, rewind...okay, got it. Play.// "It's going to be dangerous. I don't say that lightly." Duo opened his eyes, smiling at Heero. "Very dangerous. See, I was listening."

Heero's eyes narrowed for a minute, then he grunted before turning away and continuing his discussion. "I'll be on the infiltration team. I know the computers. Quatre, are you sure the Maguanaucs are willing to help?"

"Of course," Quatre's cheeks flushed slightly, "As long as I'm where they can keep an eye on me."

Heero nodded, "Good. One of you needs to back him up, but we need three for the infiltration."

"I'll do it."

//Of course you will.// "I need you in case we get caught. You have the most experience with the inside of OZ facilities. You can stay in the housing without getting caught better than any of us. We'll need the insurance. If we can't get the data, we'll let ourselves get caught and destract them long enough for you to do it."

"I will back Quatre." Wufei looked at Trowa, not wanting to be reasuring, but unable to allow that weak statement of concern to show so visibly in those green eyes. //He has no idea how much he's changed. He's losing his mask.// "Duo's good at being invisible. He can infiltrate, I prefer to face my enemies face to face."

Heero frowned at the table. //I know he's right. I know that, but I don't want him on this mission. But he's right, Duo is good at infiltration.// "Alright. We leave at midnight. Be ready." Heero pushed away from the table and went to prepare.

* * *

"We have to!" Duo yelled in as quiet a whisper as he could, grabbing Heero's arm and forcing him to face him. "Our time's up. We have to let them find us. Trowa will be starting soon, we have to distract them."

Heero curled his hand into a fist, glaring at the angry boy in front of him. "Let's go."

Duo nodded, //God, I wish we didn't have to do this. Heero, knowing you, you'll give them that 'I will kill you' line and they'll beat the hell out of you. *After* they finish the first interrogation.// "Right."

* * *

"Well, two gundam pilots at my disposal. What are you after? It's okay, you know if you don't tell me now I'll just torture you until you do. Might as well spare yourself the pain."

Heero stared at the man, face statementless. Duo glared.

"That doesn't bother you, huh?" The blond man leaned over Heero who was strapped to a chair beside Duo. "You're not angry, scared?" He straightened abruptly, "You should be. We have big plans for you two." He punched Heero in the stomach, causing him to bend forward slightly. Letting out a gust of air, the dark haired pilot slowly straightened to look at the man, face still statementless.

"He doesn't seem worried," another voice said, tone ironic. A red-haired man moved to join him. "Need some help with him?"

The blond man stood abruptly. "Later. Why don't you sit down and watch the show." He turned and laid a hand on the other man's shoulder. "It will take days to break him. This one on the other hand," he turned and caught Duo's eyes, "You should learn to hide your feelings like your friend here. He doesn't even seem angry." Smiling at his friend, he leaned over Duo. "I can spot your weakness from a mile away."

//Damnit! I wanted them to leave Heero alone, but they don't have to insult me. I'm glaring on purpose. Heero's going to think I'm a complete fool, but if it keeps their attention on me then it's worth it.//

"How long do you think it'd take me to break him?" He asked the red haired man who'd sat down on a chair against the wall. "Two hours," he shrugged then smiled evily, "But it would take less time it I helped." The blond nodded, "But I don't want to break him that quickly. If it's over too soon, the lesson's not worth learning. What do you think?" He hit Duo as he had Heero. "Think you could last two hours?"

"Maybe you should get started on the other one, I can handle this guy."

He nodded, looking at Heero, but frowned. "I should, but I think I should get this one out of the way first. It would be an excellent moral weakener if I torture his friend in front of him. Who knows, this could take less time than we thought."

//Fools, they are wasting so much time just talking. Trying to intimidate us. At this rate Trowa will be here before either of us is hurt enough to need help.// Heero watched impassively as the two men taunted him and Duo. //Would it really only take two hours to break him? If they can break him in only two hours he'd be dead by now. They're right though, he shows too much. He should hide his emotions better. If he hadn't glared like a baka they he wouldn't have attracted their attention.//

"I think the other one's falling asleep, Bret." The orange haired man nodded at Heero's bored statement. "You told me to watch the show. What are you waiting for?"

"Not a thing." Hitting Duo in the stomach again, he followed it up with a series of blows the last of which to the head causing the long-haired pilot to slump in the seat. Pulling a knife out of his belt, he cut the bonds holding the boy and jerked him out of the chair. Duo crumpled to the floor, then slowly moved, trying to push himself up. Bret kicked him in the middle, causing him to collapse again, then in the side, rolling him onto his back. Duo didn't move. "We can't have him going to sleep on us." Smiling, the man turned and gave a cocky grin to his friend. Duo's legs suddenly moved, swiping the other man's feet out from under him. He fell with a startled cry, and Duo moved for his gun. There was a click, and the pilot froze, looking slowly up at the gun in the red-haired man's hand.

"Thanks," Bret said, glaring in fury and getting to his feet. Throwing his gun to the other man, he turned to Duo. The braided boy was kneeling partially, blood trailing down the side of his face, eyes narrowed in anger. "That was a mistake. Brave, but stupid nonetheless."

"At least he's awake." The other man smiled, his gun still pointed at Duo's head.

"There is that." Growling, the blond hit Duo, slamming his head against the floor. Kneeling on the boy's chest, he gripped his arm, pulling until the shoulder was displaced. He was rewarded with a hoarse cry.

//Shit! Oh God that hurts!// Duo panted, grinding his teeth together to keep from letting any more cries escape his mouth. The man hit him again, then grabbed the hair at the top of his head, slamming him backward into the floor. //Thank God for the braid. At least I have some sort of padding.// This thought was short lived as the man slammed his head into the floor again. Stars exploded in his head, darkness closing in. //Two hours? I didn't even last twenty minutes...//

Feeling the boy go limp, the blond paused. "I won't fall for that again." Moving off the boy, he slammed his fist into the injured shoulder. There was a slight groan, but the boy didn't move. "No problem, you'll wake up in no time." Grabbing Duo's shoulders, he flipped him onto his stomach. Throwing a smirk at his friend, he undid Duo's pants, pushing them and his shorts down to his ankles.

//What...what is he doing?// Heero's eyes widened in horror. //He can't do that! Not to Duo!// Closing his eyes, Heero pulled desperately at his bonds.

Duo woke as a sharp cry escaped him at the man's thrust. He started to struggle when the man pulled on his dislocated arm, shoving into him harder. Duo couldn't hold the cry wrangled through his clenched teeth. Despite the pain, he continued to struggle. "Alright, Carl, help me shut him up."

The orange haired man jumped up quickly, kneeling beside Duo. Grabbing the thick braid, the blond man forced his head back. Pulling violently on the hair and arm, he thrust violently as the other man bent down to kiss Duo. He moved back with a cry, blood trailing from his mouth. "Don't like that? Well, I got something you'll like better."

* * *

"Guess we were wrong about you, huh pretty boy?" Holding the back of Duo's head, Bret stared into glaring, if somewhat glazed violet eyes. "Still not broken and three hours passed. Well, we'll just let you rest a bit. Night-night sweet heart." A hard fist to the head and Duo's eyes rolled up as he lost consciousness.

The two men had dressed themselves and the boy. Handcuffing his wrists behind his back, they left him in the corner of the room, approaching Heero. "What's this?" The blond man asked in amused surprise. "Looks like he shows emotions too."

"I guess he doesn't appreciate our methods," the other man said, smirking.

Heero glared, his breaths coming in harsh explosions. Blood ran from his arms where he'd tried futiley to break his bonds.

"Don't worry, we won't leave you out. He was just an appetizer," he jerked his head at Duo's still form. "You're the main course."

A gun exploded behind them, and the red-headed main fell forward, the front of his head blown off. Turning, the blond man reached for his gun, freezing as he realized it still lay on the chair next to the wall. Trowa stood in the doorway.

"Don't..." Heero caught Trowa's eyes, "Don't shoot him."

Trowa raised an eyebrow, and nodded. "Cut him loose."

The blond man hurried to comply, not trying to guess at why he was being spared. Once Heero was free, he leaned forward and cracked his knuckles. He then beat the man to death. Trowa still stood in the doorway, eyes widened in shock. Then they narrowed as he saw the second chair next to the one Heero'd been in. Searching the room, he spotted Duo's crumpled form and moved to him quickly.

Wiping his bloody hands on the man's shirt, Heero stood and joined Trowa. Not waiting for the tall boy's diagnosis, he felt Duo's neck, and let out a quick sigh. Lifting the boy, he turned to Trowa, "Did you get the information?"

"Yes. We're clear."

"Let's go."

* * *

//God damnit! This is so fucking humiliating.// Duo kept his eyes closed as he was lowered to a soft surface. He'd taken a quick peak earlier, and knew he was with the others. At a safehouse somewhere. He'd seen the inside, closing his eyes quickly so he wouldn't have to meet anyone's gaze. //Maybe I can convince them to let me take care of myself.// Duo let his pain reach him, determining if he'd be able to. //Gotta have someone fix that shoulder. And my leg. Christ. Did they have to break my leg? I'll be limping for weeks.// Someone was unbuttoning his shirt. //Nope. I don't think so.//

Duo's eyes snapped open, wincing as he met Heero's shuttered statement. "If you'll set my left leg and shoulder, I can take care of myself."

Heero looked to his leg, feeling it with careful hands. //I want to help you. I couldn't help you before...let me help you now...// Wincing at Duo's harsh cry, he quickly found the bone. "I'll have to get something to splint it with," he said quietly, looking up to see Duo's eyes closed. "I can fix your shoulder now. Would you like some pain pills first?"

Duo lifted his uninjured arm, his hand moving in his hair then held it in front of him. Blood coated his fingers. "No," he sighed tiredly, "I need to wash my hair. Drugs'd make me sleepy. I'd hate to drown in the bathtub." His eyes met Heero's, a weak grin playing on his lips.

"You don't have to do it yourself, Duo. I can help."

Duo looked at Heero, his eyes seemed...softer than usual. Duo glared, pushing himself up off the bed. "Don't you dare feel sorry for me," he growled. "It could just as easily have been you. I don't want your damn sympathy. Nevermind the leg. I can take care of myself."

//What do I say? It's not sympathy...I want to help him because...I don't know. I feel responsible. I should have done something. But it's more than that. I don't like him being hurt. I can't stand the thought that someone--//

Heero's thoughts were interupted by Duo's rough scream as he pushed the broken bone in his leg back into place. Sweat trailed down his pale face as he suddenly collapsed back onto the bed. "Damn my pride," Duo whispered hoarsely, "shouldn't have done that. Don't think I can..." Duo's eyes closed and he passed out.

"Duo...?" Realizing he was asleep, Heero went to get something to splint the leg.

After he'd bound the leg, Heero quickly popped his arm back into place causing Duo to wake up fighting. "Duo! It's me." Duo's glazed eyes met his and he let out a sigh. "Here." Holding him up, Heero popped two pills in his mouth and tipped a glass to wash them down. Not wanting to be drugged, Duo almost choked, but ended up swallowing.

"Damnit, Heero. I didn't want..." Duo closed his eyes tightly then opened them wide. "That...that wasn't water...was it?"

"No," Heero said, unbuttoning Duo's shirt. Duo lay on the bed limply, watching Heero with sudden disinterest.

"What was it?" Duo asked, looking as if he could care less.

"I can't say." Heero paused, watching Duo, waiting for him to become as calm as possible. Duo's lips suddenly curled in a large smile.

"Whatever it is, I like it."

"Good," Heero said softly, brushing Duo's blood crusted bangs off his forehead. //Why do I feel like I'm taking advantage of him? Because I am. Oh.// Heero pulled off Duo's shirt, being careful of his arm. Seeing the extensive bruising, he growled. Out loud.

Duo's eyes widened at the sound that Heero made. //He sounds mad. Maybe I can cheer him up. Wait-a-sec. What is wrong with me? Oh, yeah. If I didn't feel so happy, I'd be mad at him.// Feeling hands on his pants, Duo lifted his head, looking down and then up at Heero. "You shouldn't do that. I don't ever want anyone to touch me again." It was said in a careless tone, but Heero stopped anyway.

"Duo...you don't really mean that."

"Yes I do. It scares me. Just the thought of it scares me." Duo's eyes widened. "I...I didn't mean to say that. What did you give me? A truth serum?"

"I...that is one of its side effects, but Duo...Why would you be scared of me? I'd never hurt you. You know that."

"Sure. That's why you're always saying you'll kill me. But that's not the reason it scares me. I know you wouldn't do...that. Especially now, but...I don't want anyone to see me...to know. It makes me want to curl into a little ball. Damnit Heero, if I can't control what I say then I'm just going to stop talking. You better believe I'll get you for this later. I hate looking weak in front of you." Duo's hand went up to cover his mouth, his eyes growing wide. Suddenly he started talking again, holding his hand tight to his mouth so it couldn't be understood.

Face shuttered, Heero quickly cut through the rest of Duo's pants. Not daring to look at the bruising and dried blood, Heero pulled Duo into his arms, being careful of the splinted leg. "What are you doing, Heero?" Tucking Duo's head under his chin, he stood and carried him into the bathroom. "You're not going to answer are you. You never do. I just talk and talk and you ignore me. That really hurts."

Heero stopped abruptly, holding Duo away from him, mouth twitching at how tightly the long haired boy's hand was clamped to his mouth. "I'm sorry Duo. I don't want to hurt you. I just..." Heero sighed and tucked Duo's head under his chin again. Reaching the bathroom, he turned on the water and sat with his burden on the edge of the tub, waiting for it to fill.

"Is that why you didn't cry, Duo?" Heero's soft voice broke the silence. "Because you didn't want me to think you were weak?"

"Yeah, but I thought if I convinced myself I was just angry I wouldn't feel so bad. I was trying to pretend it was just torture. It didn't work. You really shouldn't have drugged me, Heero. All I want to do is curl up and cry for hours. Now I can't do that because you're here."

"Don't let me stop you." Heero kept his voice controlled, carefully neutral.

"Actually, I was hoping you'd leave. I don't think I can keep from crying for long. Besides, if you think you're going to wash me then I'm really going to start bawling. When this drug wears off, I'm going to be so humiliated I'll have to kill myself. Then I'd really look weak."

Turning off the water, Heero gently set him in it, wincing again at Duo's indrawn breath. "I never thought it would hurt so much. The humiliation was the worst, but the pain is definitely a close second. It hurt more than the arm, or the leg. It feels like they ripped me. Like they ripped me apart from the inside."

//They did.// Heero looked at Duo, frowning. //Can't he see the blood? No. He's not looking. And he won't.// Suddenly he wanted to close his eyes from the pain. //He didn't know. He didn't know what to expect. It was his first time and he still doesn't know what they did.// Taking a rag, Heero wet it in the warm water and gently washed off Duo's face. He then undid Duo's hair, holding him as he wet it. //So much. There's so much of it.// When Duo's hair was washed, a towl holding it out of the now pink tinted water, Heero handed the rag silently to Duo. "I'll leave you alone now, if you still want me to."

"Please."

Nodding, Heero went to stand outside the bathroom door. Unable to stop himself from listening, just in case he was needed. Fifteen minutes went by before he heard anything warrenting his attention. Not bothering to sneak, he looked through the doorway. Duo was sitting on the floor beside the tub, wrapped in the large towel Heero'd left. He had his knees drawn up to his chest. The towel had fallen from his hair as he had his head hidden against his knees, his arms curled over his head, fists clenched in his hair. He was shaking.

"Duo."

Duo let out the unmistakable sound of a sob, and shook harder. Heero stepped into the room, kneeling beside him. "Duo." Finally, Duo looked up. His eyes were dry, but red. He was sobbing, crying, but there were no tears. "Where are your tears?" Heero'd never cried, but he knew enough to realize that people didn't cry without tears.

"I...I can't. Never for myself." Duo let out a hicupping sob, "I cried my tears years ago. I'm not aloud to cry for myself anymore. I have no right. I'm alive. You're alive. I can't cry over this. It changes nothing. I'm just too weak not to try. I can't help trying. It's supposed to make it feel better. But it doesn't. Why don't I feel better?" Duo shook his head, looking down but his shaking had calmed. "Maybe this is justice. That's what Wufei always says, isn't it? The weak have no business fighting. If I hadn't shown my emotions this might not have happened. But I had to. Because I'm weak. If I hadn't, it would have been you. I know you could handle it, nothing bothers you, but I couldn't. I couldn't handle the thought. I drew it out, taunted them with my anger. They couldn't see through it. I should have put on a mask, blocked every emotion out. I can do that you know. But I knew that if I did they'd never break you. They'd have killed you. I couldn't handle that. Because I'm weak. I forgot what I was supposed to be fighting for. Well, it won't happen again. I know what my weaknesses are. I can stop them. And I will." Duo's voice had gotten faint, and he slowly leaned toward Heero. "I.....I'll never......never..." Heero caught Duo as he slowly collapsed. Exhaustion, pain, and a heavy dose of medication finally taking its toll.

Holding his burden carefully, Heero carried him to the bed, climbing onto it. Laying on his side, he pulled Duo's curled form against him, tucking his head under his chin. //So much to take in. To process and understand.// Heero buried a hand in Duo's thick hair, clutching it and releasing it in a surprisingly relaxing manner. //I can't comprehend it all now. I'll review his words later. Now I...I'll be here. I'll watch and protect. That's why I'm doing this. Why I gave him that drug, knowing it would turn even the most closed-mouth person into a loquacious one. Knowing it would make him tell the truth no matter how much he wanted not to. Because I felt responsible and I wanted to know how much I had to repay him for. So I'd know how to protect him.// Heero closed his eyes, breathing through Duo's damp hair. //I'm such a bad liar. At least when I'm lying to myself. Especially when it comes to you, Duo...//

* * *

"I for one don't like it," Wufei stated angrily.

"Why?" Trowa asked, "You complained the most about his pranks and how he was never quiet. Now he is."

"I miss him," Quatre said softly, "He had a way of cheering us up, whether we liked it or not. Whatever the situation, he had a smile and some joke."

"He's just become more serious. The way you talk, you'd think he died. He's still here."

"Trowa," Heero's voice was emotionless as usual, but his eyes glinted, "How would you feel if Quatre stopped caring for everyone? If he suddenly became morose, kept to himself, and stopped spending any time around you or the rest of us?"

Trowa's eyes narrowed. "I see. Well, what can we do? If he wants to change there's nothing we can do about it."

"Maybe I can talk to him about it," Quatre offered.

"I don't think it will do any good," Heero said quietly, staring at the table. "He sees his previous behavior as a weakness. He believes he is stronger like this."

"That is not true," Wufei said, standing quickly, "Pretending you're someone else is the weakness. Fighting who you are rather than accepting and using it."

"Maybe you should tell him that," Quatre said.

"Why would he listen to me?"

//"That's what Wufei always says, isn't it? The weak have no business fighting."// Heero stood up. "I think he'll listen to you."

* * *

"How did you get this address?" The grey-haired doctor peered down his long nose at the image on the screen.

"I do computers. Now answer the question. Where is Duo?" Heero was sitting at his desk in front of his computer, the other three pilots spread out around and behind him.

"A mission. Where else? Really, this is hardly within your protocol. There was a mission calling for his skills and I sent him."

"Alone. Why weren't the rest of us called?"

"You should not be needed. His leg is nearly healed and despite J's claim to have made you the perfect soldier, that boy is a faster runner than any of you. Even faster than you, Heero Yuy."

"Runner? What is the mission?" Quatre laid a gentle but restraining hand on Heero's shoulder.

"If it were not so simple, I wouldn't tell you. As it is, I've already received confirmation, so I will. It was a simple matter of placing a bomb and running like hell before it went off. It had to be Duo, the fastest runner, because a time set bomb wouldn't work. They'd have seen it as soon as he set it down."

"If you wanted to blow something up, you could've just sent me. Wing Zero's beam cannon could have taken care of it without any risk." Heero's voice was cold.

"So curious. Well, the base was underground. The target was a mobile suit storage room inside the base. It was heavily guarded and the only way to destroy it was to throw a bomb at the soldiers and run. It had two minutes on the counter, not enough time to dismantle it, but enough to get out of the base. The mission was completed," the doctor looked down at a watch on his wrist, "five minutes ago. I received the report from Duo himself. Now," he leaned forward and scanned the four pilots. "Would you like to explain why you felt you had to question me? Is there something wrong with Duo that he can't be trusted by himself? If there is I need to know. Myself, I thought he seemed rather serious for a change. An improvement."

"Quatre will explain," Heero turned to Quatre speaking in a low voice, "tell him only what he needs to know." Quatre nodded and Heero looked back to the doctor. "What were Duo's coordinates when you received the call?"

"I'm no fool, Yuy. He was within the DeathScythe. I wouldn't have accepted his word otherwise."

"I wasn't implying that he'd been caught and faked the call. He wouldn't do that. I want to know where the DeathScythe was when he called."

* * *

"I'm going. He's not answering, and radar reads no other suits near his position." Quatre nodded, eyes large with worry.

"Do you need help?" Trowa's monatone was soft, the only thing betraying his concern.

"I'll call if I do."

"Alright."

* * *

The Death Scythe was standing undammaged in the shade of the forest. It's open hatch the only sign that something was wrong. Carefully watching his radar, Heero landed Wing Zero and lept out of the cockpit. He saw Duo almost immediately. He was sprawled on his stomach across one of the Gundam's feet. It wasn't until Heero got closer that he realized the unconscious pilot was handcuffed to one of the metal bars running across the Gundam's foot.

"Duo?" There was no answer, but the pilot's skin was flushed, his pupils dilated when Heero pushed up one eyelid to check. Scanning the area, Heero's eyes widened in surprise. Light glinted off a small silver key lying on the ground four feet from Duo's position, just out of reach. Not wasting any time, he undid the other boy, setting him off to the side, and threw a camoflauge net over the Gundam, radioing for one of the others to fetch it. Climbing one-handed, Heero brought Duo with him up to the cockpit of Wing Zero. It wasn't designed for two, but foregoing the safety harnesses, Heero settled Duo on his lap and lifted the Gundam off the ground.

* * *

"I think we should leave the two of them alone," Quatre said as he prepared the shuttle to retrieve Duo's Gundam. "If Duo was hurt, Heero'd have said something." Trowa and Wufei agreed, joining him in the cockpit of the shuttle.

* * *

"What...where did you come from?" Duo asked, face flushing as he turned his head. //A bed. I'm in a bed with Heero sitting beside me. Damnit, I knew this would happen.// "You shouldn't have brought me, Heero. I handcuffed myself for a reason."

"What reason?" Heero leaned forward seeking Duo's eyes, his voice neutral.

"They injected me with...something."

Heeros blood froze. "You got caught?"

"Almost. I got away, but not until they'd given me...whatever this is. I was trying to stay away from the rest of you until this wears off." Duo's breathing was a little faster than normal, his face still flushed as he refused to look at Heero.

"Does it hurt?"

Duo laughed suddenly, sitting up in the bed and scooting away from Heero. "Yeah, you could say that. And it's kinda hard to think." //That's not true. You're thinking plenty. Right now you're thinking how-- Shut up!// "Well, I mean it's hard to think straight." //That's better. What you're thinking defenitely isn't straight. In fact, it's downright twisted.// Duo groaned suddenly, bowing over and wrapping his arms around himself. He let out a frustrated gust of air. "Leave, Heero. Right now, please?"

"No."

Duo's hands twitched, and he clutched them tighter to himself, letting out another groan. Heero moved closer, laying a hand on his shoulder. "Let me help you." Duo shook his head slightly, not looking up and Heero pulled him into his arms. "Duo..." Heero's breath abruptly caught in his throat as he felt Duo's mouth on his chest, hot tongue flicking out to touch him. Heero blinked. Looking down, he caught Duo's chin, lifting his face.

"I'm so sorry...Heero...I...I can't...help it..." Duo's eyes burned with shame even as his hands touched Heero's sides.

"Aphrodisiac."

"Wh...what?" Duo blinked, moving his eyes from the expanse of skin showing over the top of Heero's tanktop to Heero's dark blue eyes.

Shaking his head, Heero leaned down, capturing Duo's mouth with his own. Duo let out a whimper, then his arms wrapped around Heero's waist, clutching him closer as their tongues met. //He tastes so good//, Heero's hands went to undo Duo's braid, remembering how he'd looked with it damp and down. //It's wrong to take advantage of him. I know but this may be the only chance I ever get.// Having freed the hair from its heavy braid, Heero slowly leaned foreward, lowering Duo to the bed.

One hand clutching a fistfull of Duo's thick locks, Heero's other hand unerringly undid the buttons to Duo's shirt. In the meanwhile, he'd never stopped the kiss that Duo was returning so wholeheartedly. Pulling away, Heero let Duo's bottom lip catch in his teeth for a moment, chewing it gently, before he moved to place hot kisses on Duo's neck. Duo moaned at the sudden loss of that mouth, but when it closed over his neck, placing kisses on his jawbone before moving lower, he moaned again, a more happy sound. Throwing his head back, Duo wrapped his arms around Heero's neck, hands moving over that ever so muscular back. All rational thought had ceased, all that mattered were the sensations Heero's mouth and hands were causing.

Heero paused for a moment to view Duo's chest. The only bruising left was the one surrounding his left shoulder. The rest of the skin was an unblemished masterpiece, despite the numberable scars visible. Kissing his way down Duo's sternum, Heero abruptly moved to the side capturing a nipple in his mouth. Duo nearly came off the bed. In his sexually heightened state, that small touch sent shockwaves through his entire body, centering in his groin where a hot and immediate response was evident. Shame was the farthest thing from his mind, however, as he moved fitfully under Heero's carresses. His hands systematically clutched at and kneaded the muscles of Heero's back. One hand moving again and again to his hair, wanting so badly to pull Heero's mouth back to his yet not wanting to stop what Heero was doing.

Heero had moved, gradually, until he was kneeling over Duo. Now his hands massaged his abdomen while he kissed his way across Duo's stomach, stopping to detore briefly at his navel. This caused a whimper which rapidly turned itself into a moan as Heero's tongue alternately rubbed, flicked, and generally tortured Duo's midsection. When his hand went into Duo's pants, one finger lightly touching the hard length, Duo whimpered. The fear in the sound mingled with desire, causing Heero to growl softly before raising himself to kiss that generous mouth.

"Duo," Heero's voice was hoarse as he spoke directly into Duo's ear, "Tell me what you want. I'll do anything." Heero growled, barely able to keep from grinding his body against the hot one beneath him.

"Heero," his voice was shakey, but filled with passion, "Oh Heero I don't care. I want you. All of you."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"You can't. You couldn't. Oh God, I've wanted this for so long."

Propping himself up, he scanned the flushed face under him. Duo lifted his head, brushing his tongue over Heero's lip causing him to growl and take his mouth with an almost violent intensity that Duo matched immediately.

Moving lower again, Heero quickly undressed, pulling off Duo's pants and shorts and dicarding them with his own at the foot of the bed.

Duo arched off the bed with a thick cry when Heero took him in his mouth. Somewhere in the corner of his passion-fogged mind, he felt a finger touch him, entering ever so slowly, but he didn't pay it any attention as Heero's hot mouth drove all thought from him. Then that finger touched something that made him scream, arching more sharply and pushing himself deeper into Heero. It brushed the spot repeatedly as Heero's head moved, stroking him in time. Heero's eyes flew open to watch as Duo's face twisted in an agony of pleasure, then hot seed hit the back of his throat and he swallowed rapidly, brushing that inner spot one last time before releasing Duo's body and moving upward to claim his mouth with another kiss.

Stretching out, he pulled Duo up against him. The long-haired pilot's eyes were closed, shakey breaths escaping through parted lips. Unable to resist the temptation, Heero bent to gently kiss those lips. When he pulled back, he met Duo's sad gaze. "What's wrong?"

"That was wonderful, but...I...I don't think I can do that." He bowed his head, "I'm sorry, Heero."

"Duo you don't have to do anything."

"But I wanted to." Suddenly Duo's eyes lit up, "If...if you want to you could...you know. I don't mind the pain, really. Not if it's you."

Heero caught Duo's eyes, "If it were me, it wouldn't hurt, Duo. Not much, and not for long. It doesn't have to hurt, Duo. Not if you're ready, if you want it. But I won't do it. Not if you're trying to make some sort of restitution out of it. It's a mutual thing, Duo. It was meant for both parties to enjoy."

"You mean I'll like it too?" At Heero's nod, Duo exhaled roughtly. "If it's anything like what you just did for me then--"

"I didn't do that *for* you," Heero interrupted, "It wasn't a gift. I enjoyed doing it. Again, it's a mutual thing. It isn't just one person doing something to another, we do it together."

"Alright then, would you like to do that with me?" Duo smiled coquetishly, any inhibitions he might have had gone in the wake of the aphrodisiac.

Heero simply looked at him for a moment. Lavender eyes looking at him through long lashes, the fall of hair down his back and over one shoulder. Then Duo lightly trailed a finger down his neck, circling one of his nipples while his other hand went lower. Heero's hesitation evaporated and he searched his mind for something he could use. If this hurt too much, Duo would never let anyone near him again, let-alone the person who'd lied and then hurt him. //Ointment//, he thought quickly, //There's ointment in the medkit.//

When Heero started to get up, Duo panicked. "I'm sorry Heero!" he cried, wrapping his arms around Heero's neck, "You don't have to do anything! Really! Just please, please don't leave!" Heero looked in surprise, meeting Duo's wide pleading eyes.

"Baka," he said softly, placing a kiss on the tip of that slightly uptilted nose. "I have to get something. A lubricant. Do you really think I'd pass up a chance like this? Don't move, I'll be right back."

Smile back in place, Duo relinquished his hold and watched curiously as Heero pulled the medkit from a drawer and got the tube of ointment. "Have you done this alot?" Duo asked as Heero sat on the bed again.

"Well," //How do I answer that? I can't tell him how I learned this. I gave Trowa my word.// "I experimented with an acquaintance of mine once. Neither of us knew what to do and we didn't like not knowing. The knowledge is certainly coming in handy now. Don't you agree?"

"Yeah," Duo said, smiling, "I'm glad one of us knows what to do. And I'm really glad I'm not still cuffed to Death Scythe. I didn't know what they'd given me. I was afraid I'd end up hurting one of you."

Pushing his thoughts to the back of his mind, Heero sat the small tube to the side and proceeded to kiss Duo. Their hands caressing each other eagerly, without their previous sense of leisure. Duo moaned as Heero's hand closed on his length.

"Can...can I do this on my back?"

Heero understood the reason for the question and had to push back his angry thoughts. //I don't want anything to remind him.// "Definitely. I want to see your face while we're doing this." Heero leaned down to kiss him again, Duo's eyes lighting up before he closed them to concentrate on the kiss.

* * *

"Oh God, Heero, I'm so sorry!" Duo'd woken up with much the reaction Heero'd expected.

"For wanting me? I wanted you too. Should I be sorry also?"

"I--you did?!"

"It's not somethijng you can fake, Duo."

Duo blushed. "I guess I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of this. I mean, it doesn't change anything."

Heero grabbed Duo's chin, forcing him to meet his eyes. "Yes it does."

"It does?" Duo's eyes were wide, wary.

"Is the drug the only reason you wanted me?"

Duo dropped his eyes. Heero was about to repeat the question when Duo whispered, "No."

"I didn't think so. So I'll tell you now. I've wanted you for a very long time. Almost since we first met."

"Why didn't you say something? You must have known how I felt. I was sure you were in...involved with Relina."

"I didn't know at all. I wasn't sure if you were flirting or if you were just playing around. You confuse me. I don't know how to read you. In fact, I often wondered about Hilde."

"Wow. We really misread each other, didn't we."

"But not anymore, Duo. Things have changed, and I want you to remember that. You're mine now." Heero pulled him close, silence reined as they enjoyed simply being together. //Mine//, Heero thought, //and I don't share with anybody.//

* * *

"Together?!" Wufei's voice bordered between incredulous and curiosity.

"As far as I can tell they're asleep." Quatre smiled, unable to resist shooting Trowa a glance that screamed, //I told you so!//

"Alright," Wufei said, "If they're both fine then what was the deal with the handcuffs by the Death Scythe?"

Feeling a foreign urge to tease the stoic Chinese boy, Trowa shot him a pointed look, raising an eyebrow, "Bondage?"

Wufei choked, turning bright red. Unable to meet either of their eyes, he quickly fled the room.

Trowa turned to Quatre, "I don't know where that came from."

"Well," Quatre slipped an arm throught his, "We're alone now. We could go to our room and see if you have any other unusual ideas."

Raising an eyebrow, Trowa allowed the small blonde to pull him from the room.

* * *

"Duo, why would they use an aphrodisiac?"

Heero had turned from where he'd been sitting, working on his computer. Duo was reclining on the bed, arms folded under his head, staring at the ceiling. Duo sighed.

"I probably should have told you sooner, but I didn't want to think about it. And there's nothing we can do about it anyway. There were security camera's in the interrogation room we were in. They must have figured that since force didn't get any answers out of me, they'd try an aphrodisiac. That's the only thing I can think of. When they injected me they said they'd figured out how to get answers from me. The two guards in that room died, so the only way they could have known was if there was footage. I didn't even realize what they'd been talking about until I woke up this morning."

//Bastards. Footage. I'll do something about it. Even if it means killing everyone who has seen the tape. If they tried once, they'll try again.// Heero's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Heero, if I hadn't gotten away...would I have told them?"

"No. If they'd given you the drug I used on you then you would have, but an aphrodisiac simply gets rid of ones inhibitions and increases the sex drive. It has no truth serum properties. Regular truth serums shouldn't work on you either. The doctor says he built an immunity in you. In all of us."

"But...yours worked. I couldn't stop myself from talking."

"Yes. That's why I can't tell you what is in it. None of us have immunity to it. It was made by Doctor J just in case something happens and one of the pilots is corrupted."

"But you didn't think I was corrupted. Did you?"

"Of course not. Another effect of the drug is to calm one down completely. The truth part was an added benefit." Heero smirked.

"For you maybe, it was humiliating for me. I had no idea you were attracted to me too. I practically swallowed my hand trying to keep from telling you." Duo looked disgruntled.

Heero's smirk widened into a smile, and he stood, crossing the room and locking the door. "Tell me now."