10-17-2000

The Many Deaths of Relena Peacecraft. Woo Hoo!
by Angel Negra
Rating: PG-13, just to be safe.
Dedicated to: ClarySage. I fixed that bear thing that was bugging you. :) I also made sure all her deaths were either pointless, painful or both.

 

*THMUP-SQUEAK*
*THUMP-SQUEAK*
*THUMP-SQUEAK*

Wufei clapped a hand over his eye when he noticed it was twitching in time to the infernal thump-squeaking Maxwell and Yuy were making.

*THUMP-SQUEAK*
*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

*THUMP-SQUEAK*
*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*

It took Wufei a full minute to realise that Maxwell and Yuy weren't making the knocking sound. It took him another minute to realise that the reason his whole body twitched in time to the knocking was because it was shaking the whole house.

*THUMP-SQUEAK*
*KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK*
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kisama! Not her again. With a grumble and a longing look at his gun, Wufei got up and let Relena Peacecraft into the house. Relena charged into the house, nearly walking over Wufei.

"Where's Heero?" she demanded.

With a grunt, Wufei pointed up the stairs. "I would go up there if I were you," he warned.

Relena, of course, ignored him. She ran up the stairs and barged into the room Wufei had pointed to without bothering to knock. The 'thump-squeaking' stopped abruptly. Relena stood frozen in the doorway, as her face invented a new shade of red.

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. Once she hit bottom, she staggered to her feet and ran out of the house. A few seconds later, an engine gunned and her pink limo roared off.

Heero and Duo were standing at the top of the stairs, staring after Relena. Wufei glanced up at them and quickly turned away.

"Kisama!" he cried. "You two could at least put some clothes on! And damnit Yuy, stop playing with your balls!"

Duo cast a confused glance at Heero, then looked over at Wufei. "Wu-man, I think you need glasses, Heero's only got one ball."

Heero only grunted and walked back into his and Duo's room. He started bouncing his one basketball against the wall again.

"Besides, how'm I supposed to measure correctly if Heero and I're wearing clothes?" asked Duo, holding up the sweater he was knitting. And, with a chuckle, he walked back into his room and plopped down on the squeaky rocking chair to continue knitting.

=====
Meanwhile....

A tearful Relena charged into her room, and went straight for her Heero shrine. She picked up the teddy bear he had given her and cuddled it.

=====

*SQUEAK-THUMP*
*SQUEAK-THUMP-CLICK*
*SQUEA-*

"Hee-chan, what was that?" asked a wary Duo.

Heero smirked and held up a remote control detonation device. "The remote that sets off the bomb in Relena's bear."

"Oh," replied Duo, going back to knitting.

=====

Relena held the bear up, smiling. "Oh, Heero! If only you know how much-"

*BOOM-VOOSH!!!*

The End
*****

The Ending As Written By Duo Maxwell

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. She staggered to her feet and was suddely grabbed by a giant hand covered in green feathers.

Relena: ACK! Put me down you giant duck! Heeeeeeeeerrr-

*SPLASH*
*FLUSH*

Giant Baby Plucky Duck: Relena go down the hoooooo~oole!
*****

The Ending As Written By Chang Wufei

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. She staggered to her feet and ran out of the house. She suddenly stopped, filled with a sense of foreboding. She looked up.

"AAAIIIIIIEEEEE-"
*SCRUNCH*

Nataku casually scraped her foot off and walked back to her hiding place.
*****

The Ending As Written By Quatre Raberba Winner

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. She tried to stagger to her feet, but ended up crawling out the door. She got in her lovely pink limo and as it drove away, she grabbed a handful of Kleenex and sobbed into them. Unfortunately, when she inhaled, some of the Kleenexes got into her air passage, clogged it and she died from lack of air.
*****

The Ending As Written By Trowa Barton

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. Unlucky for her, someone had forgotten to clean up their lunch dishes by the foot of the stairs. She landed heavily on the plastic spork. It tore through her clothing and rammed into her heart. She died.
*****

The Ending As Written By Heero Yuy

Relena spun around, tripped on her skirt and fell down the stairs. She struggled to her feet, but before she could escape a boomerang struck her in the back of the head with a resounding thud. She died.

The End

well, any good? :)