10-23-2000

One Freaky Ass Halloween Fic that is guaranteed to scare you Witless

 


*~* Well, as it says… it’s a freaky ass Halloween fic. Um… I don’t know where this idea came from… it’s hard to say really. Um… now, about the guarantee. If it doesn’t scare you… well, you can’t sue. You won’t get much. Just 5 smell g-pigs and the 10 cents I hold to my name now that my car is um… hurt. *cough* So, that’s all ya’d get and it ain’t very much let me tell ya. Anyway, I must thank Ember. I wrote this without her consent and I feel bad. It was she who gave me the idea for Duo’s costume. So… "THANK YOU EMBER!!" Please don’t hate me. *sniffle* ^_^;; Anyway, enjoy. It’s short, stupid and full of mindlessness! Wahooooo! The best stuff, ne? But ya know, I think it might scare you that one person can actually think something like this up. *sweatdrop* ^.~
~Ana~

ps. C&C always welcomed and craved!! ///_^

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It was October 31st. The night when the moon is full and the witches and goblins come out. Dark and starry, the freaks and weirdo’s decide to show themselves, basking in the glow of the eerie moon.

The G-boys were walking home form their Trick or Treating (*coughs a lot*). Duo swung open the door of their latest safe house and tossed his, trash bag full, bag o’candy onto the nearest chair.

"Man, what a haul!!" he grinned, stuffing a Mr. Good Bar into his mouth, "It’s a good thing I found these old costumes in the attic, ne guys?"

The four pilots simultaneously turned their heads and glared at the pilot of Deathscythe and his little green outfit. "What?" *blink*

They said nothing, only continued to glare. "What, it can’t be that bad! I mean, Quatre, I’ve seen you enjoying your outfit." Quatre blushed and pulled on the long baby blue nightgown with its frilly white top and black shoes. "Or should I be calling you Wendy? Not all the time you get to see Captain Hook trying to grope her… *cough*… him."

Trowa blinked and lowered his hand from under the small blonde’s nightgown. He sighed and moved his eye patch over to his other eye. How in the world the boy could see with the eye patch and the unibang was one of those unsolved GW mysteries. Anyway, Quatre blushed again and whispered something in Trowa’s ear which obviously made him feel much better.

Duo shook his head and turned to Wufei, who was holding an umbrella at his side and was wearing a black top hat, looking quite high and mighty. "And Wufei, you like your little outfit, don’t you? I mean, being Wendy’s brother, John, and all. You get to wear that cute little hat."

"Hn. There is justice in wearing this hat," he nodded and stuck his nose in the air, throwing the umbrella over his shoulder and staring at the ceiling. Duo blinked and nodded. //He’s nuttier than a Mr. Nut Bar.// He shook his head and smirked at Heero.

Duo bounded over to Heero, waving a little star point wand with sparkly gold glitter and little blue ribbons. "Wahooooo! And ya know, I kinda these wings! Tehehehehe! Don’t I make the cutest Tinker Bell, my Hee-chan Pan?!"

Heero looked up at him, glaring into those vibrant violet eyes. "Fucking tights," he growled. Duo sighed and ran over to him, brushing up against him which made him shutter.

"But Hee-chan, those tights can’t be any different than your spandex. Besides, I think they look sexy!" He brushed up against him again, tapping him with his little gold star on a stick. "But… your tights are nothing to my cute little green thing and the wings! La-la-la-la!" Duo giggled wildly, prancing about the room, waving his wand and trying to look like a fairy.

Quatre looked over at Trowa, who simply shrugged. He sighed and then looked towards Duo, who seemed to be holding Heero attention very well. (*cough*) "Um… Duo?"

"Hai, little Q Wendy?"

"*eye twitch* Um… how much candy did you eat today?"

Duo stopped his prancing and stared at the blond. He blinked and reached into his trash bag, pulling out nothing but wrappers and a few pieces of gum. "Um… about this much!" he laughed, throwing the wrappers in the air like a flower child with flower petals. He then continued his prancing.

"Baka, all that sugar will give you nightmares!"

"Awwwwwwww! Ya know you love me, Hee-chan!"

"Iie," Heero shook his head and Duo was about to argue with him when the doorbell rang. "I’LL GET IT!!" He pranced over to the door as happy as could be, waving his little wand that was scattering glitter all over the floor. He grabbed the door knob and swung it open…

 

*LIGHTNING CRASHES*

There, standing at the door is… is… the worst of the worst, the scariest of the scariest, the biggest and ugliest thing on the face of the earth! The biggest bitch of all--- who can’t get it threw her thick skull that when someone tells you "Omae o Korosu" or "I’ll kill you" does NOT mean that they love you--- Relena Dorlin Peacecraft!! *more lightning*

Duo blinks then screams at the top of his lungs and his braid stands on end. But… being it Relena was not the scariest thing in the world. Ok, yes, that is the scariest thing in the world but… what she was dressed in was the scariest. A white, frilly, pink lined, wedding dress! *gasps* *more lightning* (I like lighting, so sue me! No wait, don’t do that. I’m poor)

Relena burst passed Tinker Bell, AKA: Duo Maxwell and ran to Heero, holding a bouquet of flowers. She smiled her little annoying smile and batted her eyes, plastering herself up against Heero.

"Heero, Heero, I finally found you!! Marry me, Heero! Marry me now! And I’ll take you away from here and these sick people and this way of life, especially THAT!" She spun around and pointed at Duo, who had finally gotten his wits back and was now attempting to make sense of the situation.

When it did register to our dear Tinker Bell what Relena had said, well, Tinker Bell was kinda pissed off. "Now wait just a damn minute her, lady! Heero is mine! Understand!?"

"No, he’s MINE!"

"No, MINE!"

"He threatened me first!"

"Shit, I can’t compete with that! AH! He screwed me first!"

"UH! You horrible, nasty, braided thing!!"

"Ha, your just jealous ‘cause I’ve got better hair then you! And I look sooooo much better in a dress than you!" he pointed at her and spun around, a proud smirk on his lips.

Relena was just confuzzled. She blinked and sputtered. To bad she had such a pea-sized brain. Anyway…

"HEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOO!!"

"Jesus, onna, you don’t need to scream for Yuy, he’s standing right next to you!"

And our poor Heero Pan was quite discombobulated too. His hair was on end, way more than usual and he was grabbing at his ear, which now seemed to be bleeding. He rubbed his head and shook it some, trying to stop the ringing.

She glared at Wufei John and then at Caption Trowa Hook and Quatre Wendy. She grabbed our, oh so loveable, Duo Bell, and spun him around.

"Alright now, freak, we will MAKE Heero choose one of us!"

"Fine! ‘Cause I know he’ll choose me! HA!"

"Yeah right! I’d never make MY Heero wear something like that! No tights ever for MY Heero!"

Heero blinked and raised an eyebrow at that most horrid a Peacecraft creatures offer. He then looked to Duo, almost forcing him to make a better offer than that. Duo blinked and smirked. "Well, he enjoys it, ‘speically when we get to go to bed! Ne, Heero?"

Heero blinked and raised and eyebrow again. How could he choose?!? How the horror of it all! A confused Heero Yuy. (*sigh* I’ve gotta lay off the soda)

"You’ll never have to wear tights again, Heero… never! Not even to use the bedroom!"

"But they can be fun, Hee-chan!"

Heero grit his teeth and stared at the two before him. Never wear tights again or tights being some kind of kinky pleasure. How to choose!? He let out a deep sigh and stared at Relena. He grabbed her face and kissed her. *you hear awful shrieking in the background* Duo nearly passed out as his braid, once again, stood on end and the other G-boys were kinda shocked as well. Bleck, how could one want to kiss THAT!?

Heero pulled away from Relena and grabbed her hand. "Oh Relena, I love you so much! I always have! Let us run away together… get married and live happily every after! Relena, my darling, Relena!"

*once again you hear horrible shrieking in the background* "HEERO!?!?!?!" Heero pushed by our poor confuzzled Duo Bell, dragging Relena with him and they both ran out the door. Duo stood there, dazed and confused, staring blankly at the wooden door.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

*LIGHTING CRASHES*

Duo sat up, wailing his arms around in circles. He blinked, staring into a pair of dark cobalt eyes. He blinked again, finding a sudden pain suddenly creep up into his head. (*blinks*) Duo gasped and wrapped his arms around Heero’s neck.

"HEERO!! OH HEERO!! I knew you’d come back to me! How could you ever, ever, EVER want that THING?!?!?"

"Baka, what are you talking about?"

Heero pried Duo off of his neck and glared at him. Duo blinked, staring around the room. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa all stared down at him and blinked.

"I thought… I thought… Relena was here?"

*once again, the horrible shrieking is heard* "NO! Why would she be?"

"’Cause, Hee-chan, she came here and… and… you ran away together!! *bawls*."

"Baka, you were having a nightmare."

"Yeah, tell me about it!"

"No, you were! You are such a dumbass… Duo. You were dancing around and tripped over the coffee table and passed out. All that sugar you ate gave you a nightmare."

"Ooooooooh." *blink* "Ok then. Te-he, so you don’t love Relena, then?"

Heero shook his head, lifting Duo into his arms and carrying him to their bedroom. "Iie. Don’t make me gag."

Duo giggled and snuggled into his Hee-chan Pan’s arms. A thought then accrued to him and he stared into his lover’s eyes. "Um… Heero, what are we gonna do?"

"Baka. I’ve got a few kinky ideas for these tights."

"WAHOOOOOO!"

*~* The End *~*