Disclaimers: The Gundam Boys and all related people, items, history, ect. belong to Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency and other such people with far more money and talent than I could even dream of.
Warnings: 1x2, mild 4+3 (as in barely there), Wu-bear is by his lonesome again.
Notes: This is a series based on an idea that Seimei no Miko kitty brought up. What if one of the GBoys was born with a disablity and still managed to live and survive, and then at the end of the war everyone finds out.
Stargem: for beta-ing and smacking me when I left plot holes.
MadamHydra: for that inspirational lecture on action words.. ::snert::
Ad-koi: for just being there.
Em (Lys ap Adin): for jabbing me sharply in the ribs when I conviently forgot about the fic.
And every one who put up with me for the last frickin' year.
'All that Matters'
I've come to view these quiet evening chess games with Trowa as a wonderful distraction. It's a distraction from the fact that my usefulness has come to an end, along with this war.
Don't get me wrong, I am glad that the war is over. For the rest at least. My battle with Treize, or rather its memory is far from over. He took the coward's way out of the conflict, and left me without a clear goal. I know I have to find something to hold me for the rest of my life. I have considered returning to my studies, but I don't think my heart is ready for that.
Glancing up, I watch a very nervous Quatre enter the room. As he wanders into the room I note that he's wringing his hands and looking distinctly worried.
Trowa has noticed my distraction and we both turn to watch Quatre shuffle through the tiny kitchen, looking through cabinets. Pretending to look for something.
As if sensing out curious gazes, Quatre spins around and aims a rather forced smile at us.
"Quatre, is something wrong?"
"I'm fine Wufei, nothing is wrong." He lies to me, still smiling that fake smile.
"Quatre, please, what's wrong?" Trowa said, watching Quatre fidget. Some one get me a hose, it's getting too hot in here for me, I grouched to myself.
"Well you see, it's like this " Trowa always manages to get Quatre to spill his guts like that. I just wish the two of them would stop pussy footing around easy other and have a heart to heart talk. "I just went to talk to Heero about Duo."
"What about Duo?" Please don't let this be a round of 20 Questions.
"Something is wrong with him. I've been watching him for a while now. I think he may have a serious vision problem."
Trowa looks faintly concerned probably the same as I do. If Duo's problem is serious, then he's been putting us and the mission is danger for who knows how long. I voice the question I know Trowa is thinking. "How serious a vision problem are we talking here, Quatre?"
Floored. That's the only word I could possibly use. How the hell can some one hide being blind, even just partial blindness, for as Maxwell has been with us. But before I can question Quatre further Heero steps into the room. He looks weary, as if all the fighting has suddenly cause up with his body and he can hardly stand. Heero peers at all of us with that flat gaze of his and says,
"Duo will be out shortly. I think we all need to hear this."
And we sit to wait.
I feel as if I'm walking to my execution, slowly shuffling down the long hallway to the rec room where everyone is waiting to hear the truth. God, I do not need this.
I can picture it now. If Heero and Wufei don't kill me for quote, endangering the mission, unquote, Quatre is going to try to baby me, and be like a mother hen when I'm around. I think I'll just go jump out a window now and spare myself the agony.
And speaking of the Spandex Soldier, I'm still trying to figure out why he kissed me like that. I would have asked, but I was a little shell-shocked at the time, and didn't think of it until long after he was out the door. Now don't get me wrong here, I did thoroughly enjoy that kiss, but I need to know well, you know if he loves me, or if that was just a sudden surge of hormones.
After Heero left my room, I must have sat there for a solid five minutes with my jaw hanging open before I woke up. After braiding my hair and putting on something slightly more presentable than a ratty old bathrobe. But only slightly. Baggy jeans that had seen better days and a darkly colored T-shirt that was approaching threadbare and was probably a little too small for me to begin with was not exactly presentable when in the company of people rich enough to buy entire colonies. But something tells me Quatre could care less about my clothing.
Well here I am, the rec room door and not a window in sight.
What I wouldn't give for that window right now, everyone in the room is so tense I'm afraid they'll burst veins or something. And none of them are exactly looking me in the face. More like the nose or the forehead. Except for Heero, he won't even look at me. I don't think that's a good sign.
Nobody seems to want to say anything. I'm guessing they're waiting for me to fall down on my knees and confess my sins. Mentally I snort, that would take a couple of hours.
Flinging myself into an oversized armchair, I eye everyone for a few more moments before I open my mouth and drop the proverbial bomb. "I'm blind." Judging from the noises from Wufei's direction I probably should have phrased it a little differently. Oh well, as they say hindsight is 20/20.
"For how long now?"
Whipping my head around, I blink rather stupidly at Trowa. A new record for the books, Trowa actually looks concerned. "Erm, as far back as I can remember. So I always figured I was just born that way."
"Maxwell, how can you pilot if you're blind?"
"I'm getting to that Wufei." I fiddled with the end of my braid, trying to put the right words together. "I had been surviving fairly well on my own for a long time. But I really don't need to go into all that. It's not really that important. " I shifted my eyes slightly. I hate covering up more of the truth, but I don't want them to know about my past on the streets. If my being blind is getting them this antsy, my days in the street gangs are likely to get me in even more trouble.
"A couple of years ago I met Professor G. I kinda snuck aboard his ship. While I was in the brig he offered me the chance I couldn't pass up. A chance for nearly normal vision. The only problem was, the normal procedure for curing blindness is a surgery that only works within the first year after birth. At thirteen years only that really isn't an option anymore." I grin, trying to let them think I found it funny and judging from the looks I'm getting they're not buying it.
"My only option then was an electronic device that hadn't been used in the last century. The good old Doc cut my head open and hot wired my optic nerves through a microchip directly into the vision centers of my brain."
I peer around the group, waiting to see if they believe me, or if I have to actually show them my scars. Quatre looks a little puzzled.
"Duo, that doesn't explain the times I've seen you walking along the walls, using them to find your way around."
Shit, shit, shit. I can't tell them about the faulty batteries. They'll freak. Think Maxwell, think! Ah ha! "It's based on a very old piece of technology Quatre, sometimes a electrical interference on narrow band wave lengths knock out my microchip for a little while. Usually no more than an hour." Score one for me. But a quick glance at Heero shows that I didn't quite convince every one. He's just increased the intensity of that glare of his.
Where's that window? Maybe I'll throw Heero out it.
Ive been watching him carefully this whole time. His every mannerism is no different than it has been before. Even physically he looks exactly the same, so outside interference in the last month or so is out of the question. The Duo Maxwell, who is currently lying to all of us, is the same one we met a year ago. I know hes lying, guilt flashes briefly in his expressive eyes. The one place that gives him away every time he tries to hide something from us.
I had a suspicion that what he told Quatre about the electrical interference was false, but it was the look in his eyes that confirmed it for me. A lie, from the boy who claimed he never lied.
Even if I can be nothing more than a friend for Duo, I will get to the bottom of this. At any cost.
Well, I dont know about you guys, but its getting late and all this confessing has worn me out. Bed is calling and rather loudly. See you all in the morning! Move, move, move, out the door Maxwell! Move before some one says anything stupid. I get halfway to the door when Quatre clears his throat.
Duo, do you need any help anything? Quatre fidgets a little, he knows what my answer is going to be, but hes too polite not to offer assistance.
Q-man, while I do appreciate the thought, thats exactly what I dont want. Every eye turns to me again, looking for an explanation. Goody, time for more soul baring. Sheesh, by the time I actually escape from this room, theyll have gotten even my genetic coding from me. I dont want you guys to treat me any differently than you have in the past. Yes, I am blind, but Ive survived quite a long time so far on my own. And if any of you try to baby me, or patronize me, Im out of here faster than you can blink. And with that said, goodnight.
And Im out the door and down the hall before they realize it.
The others are still a little taken aback by what Duo said just a moment ago. But Im not. He is my partner, and at times my mirror. I would have expected no less from him.
I have to go talk to him. One on one, without the others. I need the whole story, not the white lies he insists is the truth.
Sighing softly, I push from the far wall and follow Duo out the door.
I can hear him behind me. That familiar tread on the plush carpet, a walk full of purpose and determination. But determination to do what? If he wants to chew me out for keeping a very important secret from him during the war, then I dont care. I dont have to explain it to him; he can just kiss my ass. On second thought, no ass kissing. Thats one image I cant deal with right now. Blushing fiercely I stalk down the hall just a little bit faster, hoping I can make it to my room before Heero catches up to me.
Oh look, its my door, only a few more feet. Nearly there!
My hand brushes the doorknob, when I feel a finger brush past my braid and against lightly touch the back of my neck before snagging the collar of my T-shirt. And with a sharp yank, my air supply as cut off, and I am sitting on the floor trying to get some feeling back into my abused posterior.
Looking up and slightly backwards, I glare at my attacker for all I was worth. Christ Heero, next time just ask me to fucking stop!
Heero didnt seem fazed by my glare; I need to practice, that or find a new victim.
Would you have stopped if I asked you?
I blinked up at him. Now that you mention it, probably not. Picking myself up off the floor, I wag a finger at him like a mother hen. Well Heero, explain por favor why the hell you did that?
Why did you lie back there?
Who, me, lie? What ever gave you that impression? I used my most innocent expression.
Once again, Heero didnt even budge. Ive known you for a long time, Duo. I would hope by now I know you.
Flabbergasted and stunned into silence again. Part of me is screaming to get away from this confrontation and go to bed. But a little corner of me . the same corner that fell head over heals for the boy in front of me . is nudging me into finding out just how much Heero wants to the real me, and whether or not he likes me as much as I like him. But that rational corner of my mind is poking holes n the little me in the corner. Why would Heero ever fall for another boy? I mean after all he has the Queen of the World after him. What would he see in a blind street rat from the slums of L2?
Rational me won again.
"Heero, I really don't want to talk about this right now. I'm really tired. All that confessing wore me out, and besides, it's late. We can always talk tomorrow, ne?"
"Tomorrow. First thing after breakfast." Heero is dead set on getting the whole story. And if I don't tell him, I can see that my future is going to be really messy.
"Goodnight, Heero. See you in the morning." Turning my back to the Perfect Soldier, I walk the last three feet to my room without looking back.
Morning dawned clear and bright. Not that I care, not with this shaft of sunlight right in my eye. Scrambling deeper under the covers to hide from the evils of a room facing east, I lay still for a moment to let my brain catch up with the rest of my body.
I flipped the blankets off my head to stare blankly at the ceiling. Heero. I had to tell Heero the whole story this morning.
With a moan, I pulled the covers back over my head.
Morning already. Every one is here except Duo. But Duo has always been a late riser, so I suppose he'll be here as soon as he smells breakfast. It's his favorite today. Blueberry pancakes with all the trimmings. Making his favorite food is the least I can do after I sicced Heero on him last night.
I quickly peer around the table at the others. A glance in Heero's direction gives me a good idea why Duo is late this morning. He's probably trying to avoid a potential situation and a black eye. But I don't think Heero would ever do that to Duo; I don't think he wants hurt Duo intentionally. I've always hoped in a corner of my heart that my two friends could feel something for each other romantically, but both are stubborn and rarely show their true faces to anyone. I don't think they even know themselves.
But I'm getting off track again. Duo's never been this late for breakfast. I'm starting to get a little worried that he made good on his promise last night.
"Has anyone seen Duo this morning?"
Wufei looks up from his plate. "No, but this is Maxwell we're talking about. He's probably still sleeping."
"Quatre," Trowa glances briefly at me, before returning his attention to his coffee, "Why don't you go check on Duo before you panic?"
"That's a good idea, Trowa." I grin at him, but unfortunately he is too intent on the contents of his mug to look up again. I push back my chair to get up. "I'll be ."
"I'll check on Duo. Finish your breakfast."
Once again I find myself walking to Duo's room. He didn't show up at breakfast this morning, like he usually does, bleary eyed and slightly mussed. I think I like to look at him like that, half asleep and almost completely off guard. With no masks to hide his eyes.
What the hell am I saying?
What the hell is he doing to me?
I'm not sure what to make of these . feelings I have for Duo. Or even what they may be. But I think . I think that I like these feelings. And if he leaves, I'm not sure I'd be able to feel them again.
Do I love him? Is that what these feelings are? This sensation of being weightless, but bound. Maybe I do .
But this is not the time to be thinking of myself. I need to focus on this problem with Duo's vision. It's not so much the lying anymore - it's him. And what I . what all of us can do to help him lead a normal life again.
Ah, Duo's room. As I place my hand on the doorknob, I hear a faint rustling and the sound of a long zipper being pulled. Far to long to be a zipper on jackets or pants. what on earth could he be doing.
I gently turn the knob and open the door a crack to peer into the room. I can feel my eyes widening at the sight. I fling open the door.
"What are you doing?"
I came to a decision this morning. Staring at the interwoven strands of cotton, I came to the hardest decision I have ever had to make. Harder than all the ones I had to make in accepting missions.
I had to leave. As soon as possible.
I couldn't face Heero, or the others. This wasn't something I could burden them with. And I don't particularly feel like being coddled. I survived on my own for a long time. I could do it again. I could and I sure as hell would.
So here I am. Running away. Packing just as if I was going on another mission. Shoving my few possessions into a ratty old duffel bag, praying that I'll get out of here before any one comes to look for me.
'Running again?' My conscience whispers at me. 'Creature of habit!'
I let out my breath in a low hiss. I don't need this. I need to get out of here.
"What are you doing?"
The slender back in front of me stiffed slightly. Then Duo straightened from his position hunched over his bed.
"I'm packing Heero."
He's refusing to look at me. "Why?"
"Take a guess."
"This isn't a game, Duo." Without warning the long-haired American whipped around and glared at me.
"It never has been. You want the truth, Yuy, well now you'll get the whole truth." Duo sat on the foot of the bed; his legs tucked loosely under one another. I moved to stand in front of him. "Within the next year I'll probably be completely blind."
This wasn't what I was expecting. I thought I would get excuses, and half-truths. Not this.
"When G opened my head and hooked me up, he used substandard materials. No one, not even me, expected that I would survive to the end of the war. I was under the impression I would go out in a flashy sorta way, taking out and OZ base or something like that." Duo stared at his hands, twisting his fingers in the unmade bed sheets, "I mean, why would you use valuable parts to fix something that's going to be broken again anyway."
I have to keep my eyes from looking at Heero. I might cry. I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want to tell him about this. I just wanted to leave and fade from everyone's memories. I might cry if I look at him. Boys don't cry. I will not show any weakness in front of Heero; he deserves better than that from me.
I will not look.
I stare at Duo for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts, watching him twist the sheets in front of his crossed ankles into tight loops around his clawed fingers.
Blind. But there could be hope, something
"Is there anything that you can do? Can't Dr. G's work be corrected?" Duo's hands tighten, his knuckles going white before he forcibly relaxes.
"I did some research when I got to Earth. Most cases where children are born blind can be corrected in the womb."
"But " Duo launches himself off the bed, stopping until he's almost nose to nose with me. Face tinged red in anger.
"Heero, there is nothing for me! There are no cures and there is no way to fix this! I can live with this. I did before and I will again."
But I won't let him go alone. I will not let him suffer alone and without anyone he can trust. I will not let him go. I have to take this chance. Before I lose him forever.
We stand toe to toe. Eyeing each other. Waiting for the other to break down first. But I will not give up on him now, not when I'm this close. Duo may be persistent, but he has nothing on me, not this time. I need to resolve this. I would rather play my last card than lose him forever. Grabbing the front of his faded T-shirt I pull him close enough that I can feel his warm breath wash over my face.
"Baka suki da." It's not quite what I wanted to say, but I don't think either one of us if ready for that step yet. Though even the words that I did chose have just the effect I was hoping for. Duo's jaw drops and for once, he's left speechless, all he can do is attempt to say my name.
"He Hee He "
I whisper gently, "Baka," before I take advantage of his open mouth. Sealing his lips and tongue in a searing kiss. Slowly I loosened my fingers from his shirt and fan my fingers across his chest, barely making contact in a feather-light caress. I run my hands down his chest, never releasing his lips. I let my hands glide down and around his body, until they come to rest on the upper curve of his rear, fingertips on the opening of his back pockets.
I pull back just far enough to see his face, my hands never leaving his back. I want to give him the opportunity to chose. To decided whether or not he really wants this. Duo's eyes are tightly shut, his mouth working silently; breath coming in sharp gasps.
"What Duo - what do you want?"
" you. Heero, please " Duo opens his eyes slowly, pinning me with a pleading stare.
I flex my fingers lightly, creating a slight pressure on his rear. "I was hoping you would say that." Leaning in, I take his lips again.
This is everything I want, everything I need, everything I'm afraid of. I want Heero so badly. I want him like this. Wrapped so securely in his arms, with his warm lips silently sharing. Being one with him, by his side.
But I don't know if I can let him in. My heart has been broken so many times I don't know if I'm capable of this.
I want to make this work. I want to tell him. I want
" you. Heero, please "
I can feel his fingers curl where they rest, shooting little tingles through my body, making me whimper low in my throat as his lips move in again to share their warmth.
Feeling brave, I bring my arms up behind his back. Tightening my forearms I draw Heero in closer, bringing our bodies flush against one another. We both moan at the contact, both [of us] pulling as much as possible. Trying desperately to make every part of our bodies connect.
I grab helplessly at the back of his shirt as I feel those wonderful hands slip into my back pockets. His wrists begin to curl, and I pull away from our kiss to let Heero know just how much I'm beginning to love his hands.
I curl my wrists in his pockets, bring our hips together in a gentle roll that makes my blood scream for more. More of everything Duo is. More of his scent and taste. More of his light and passion.
On the second roll, Duo removes his mouth from mine, only to lean his head back to moan my name, interspersed with pleas and entreaties, leaving open new territory to explore.
Leaning in, I whisper directly in his ear, "I won't stop," before nipping lightly at his earlobe and giving it a soft tug. Duo arches against me at the pressure at his ear and on his buttocks when I curl my wrists in time with the nip on his ear. Kissing a slow, silvery trail down his neck, I keep flexing my wrists in random patterns fast, slow, short, hard, making him pant harshly and gasp my name in low whispers.
Oh god. Everything is on fire. Tendrils of heat unfurling in every extremity, even my toes are burning. I'm burning because of Heero, and I don't want it to stop. I want more.
I need to feel his skin against mine. Moving my hands, I pull at the hem of his tank top trying to let him know. I can hear him muttering against my neck.
"Do you want to go farther Duo?"
Turning my head slightly, I kiss the upper shell of his ear and tug again at his shirt. "I want you. Please take this off, Heero."
"Anything you want."
When Heero's hands leave my rear I have to bite my lip so as not to whimper. I already miss those hands.
I watch in fascination as those perfect hands grip the edge of his tank top and start to lift it, my eyes following the path of skin revealed. Powerful muscles coiling and uncoiling with the upward movement of the hem. My fingers itched to trace the ridges of muscles and the fine white lines of old scars.
Heero barely untangled his arms from the shirt, before I found my lips covered by his again. I allow my fingers to trace the muscles along his abdomen, learning their shape by touch now.
I leaned closer, moaning into our kiss as I felt those wonderful hands creep under my shirt, pushing and bunching the cotton as they slide along my own chest.
I nearly lost it when Duo moaned like that, the plans I had for a slow and gentle start to what I hoped would be a deeper relationship almost erased in the jolt that arced down my back. Still teasing his mouth, I let my hands pause to rest over his heart, trying to regain some measure of control.
I could spend all day like this, just touching him. But I know that Duo would rather we go farther; but there will always be time to simply hold him afterwards.
Breaking away from him slowly, I whisper against his lips, "Arms up," and pull the soft material over his head, taking care not to catch his braid.
Suddenly I notice that Duo is beginning to look a little wobbly on his feet, perhaps standing up is no longer an option. Snagging one of his limp wrists, I gently start to maneuver him toward the bed. "We should get more comfortable, Duo."
He stares almost blankly at my hand encircling his wrist, before backing toward the bed, dragging me with him. When Duo's knees finally touched the edge of the bed, he leaned over kissing me briefly, before releasing my hand. I almost make a grab for him; I don't want to let go. But he takes my mind off that, as I watch him slowly crawl across the bed, in an almost feline manner. When Duo reaches the center of the bed he lays on his side, and beckons to me with an outstretched hand and eyes dilated so wide that the beautiful violet tinted irises are nearly invisible.
I shiver slightly. Without my shirt I'm a little cold. My body has never reacted well to even the slightest drop in temperature. Not that the look from Heero's eyes isn't making me shiver, in fact it's making these minute tremors all the more painful with need. I need his warmth, more than anything.
My body moves toward him of it's own accord as he slips across the sheets toward me.
How could I have possibly lived without him? Without the feeling of his lips over mine. His tongue. His hands
Thought stutters to a halt as those wonderful hands stop over my chest, his thumbs lightly brushing across my nipples. I can't help but moan into the kiss and arch my back, trying to make him press harder.
As if to torture me his hands leave, only to loop around my back, sliding gently along each ridge of my spine, over the tops of my pants to finally rest over my ass and giving me a squeeze before pulling my hips forward to meet his again. Damn, I love those hands.
Pulling his mouth only a few centimeters from mine, he whispers against my lips, "Duo, would you like to get rid of these, too?" All the while smirking like he knows the answer. Oh, like he wouldn't know, seeing as being joined at the hips isn't hiding much. Not that I would answer no to this question.
I raise an eyebrow and stare at him in the most critical manner I can manage so aroused, "Need you ask?"
Pulling his hips just far enough away to slip his hands between us, I feel a ghostly touch around my navel that induces more shivers and a moan, before it leaves and Heero hooks his fingers into the front of my jeans. In a few seconds he has the damn things unbuttoned and unzipped.
"No underwear?" That smirk turns into something resembling a leer as his hand comes into contact with the skin under the zipper.
Panting, I glare. "Bastard. I had nothing clean." Wriggling I manage to get the jeans halfway down my hips when Heero grabs my hands and flips me on my back.
"Let me, please "
Nodding dumbly I watch as he straddles my knees and hooks his fingers into the waist of my pants again. Giving me a look that would melt Wing into a pile of slag, Heero lowers his head to my stomach, his breath warming my skin. Time seems to stand still when I feel his lips against my skin, and his teeth nipping downward in the same direction my pants are going.
I groan in frustration as when his mouth skips past my arousal, kissing my thighs as he works the jeans over my feet, finally throwing them over his shoulder.
"This is all I wanted, Duo. All that matters now is you, and making you happy. That is all I want now."
"Shhh. Just let me." Talking was the last thing on my mind as Heero's lips touched the tip of my cock.
I placed my lips on the very tip of Duo's erection and waited, savoring the little quiver that rippled through his body. A moan wells from somewhere deep in his chest, and fingers catch in my hair.
Perfect, but I want to make him writhe and beg for me. I want him to be completely free, if only for a few moments.
As I start to suck and lick the tip, I can't help wincing as Duo's slender fingers clench and tighten their grip on my hair. Sparing a glance up at Duo, I watch his mouth soundlessly calling my name over and over.
When his eyes locked on mine, I take his length as far as my throat allows. Duo finds his voice as I suck furiously.
"Heero! Oh god Heero. Don't stop. Mmm please .Heero."
Suddenly Duo's hips start to rock up, and I make a grab for them. I want him still; I'll do the work. Lightly scraping my teeth along the underside of his erection I nearly smirk at the keening cry. Over and over he cries for me in that throaty moan of his.
Giving the tip of his cock one last lick, I slide up Duo's body, allowing just the right amount of friction. And when Duo throws his head back moaning, I take advantage of his bared throat, lightly nipping at the jugular then pressing damp kisses to the reddened spot.
"Vampire." Duo whispers.
I lick a line along his slender neck, whispering "Only if everyone tasted this good." before sucking lightly on his ear.
"Heero. Stop stop teasing. Please. I need you "
Raising myself on my forearms, I brush my lips over Duo's once more in a butterfly kiss. "Is there anything we can use?" At Duo's vaguely blank look, I lift one hand up, trail my index finger over his chest, along his side, over his thigh, finally lightly rubbing the entrance to his body. Understanding dawns across his features, before passion distracts him.
"Mmm try the bathroom. I think I saw some ooh something we can use."
"Hush, and go find something." Duo smiles up at me. A lazy, sensual grin, with his eyes half closed. And quickly as I could I scrambled for the bathroom, but I loathe leaving his presence for any length of time.
Relaxing into a limp puddle on my bed, I move my head just enough to watch Heero make a quick exit to the bathroom. And now that I have open rights to stare at that ass I can't help but let out a low whistle.
Heero looks over his shoulder to grin smugly at me, before continuing at a slower pace and a decided swagger to his hips. Hot damn.
After he disappears into the bathroom, I hear a drawer open, some rustling, and finally a low triumphant 'Yes!' Stretching my arms over my head I wait. And wait.
What's taking him so damn long? Wriggling impatiently, I yell toward the bathroom, "Heero! Hurry up, will you. Otherwise I'll finish this myself!" As I'm just about to start taunting him some more, my ears catch the sound of a zipper being slowly drawn, the tiled room echoing the sounds of the tiny teeth snapping against each other. I can picture his hands at the waist of his jeans now, pulling them over his hips, freeing his cock before sliding down to his thighs. A quiet whisper of rough cloth against skin accompanies my thoughts, making my pulse beat a little faster. I can practically see the pants slithering down his legs before hitting the floor.
Finally the very object of so many of my dreams for the last year slips out of the bathroom, stark naked and highly aroused. 'For you,' that corner of my mind crows, 'all for you, you lucky little bastard.'
Crooking a finger at my new lover, I beckon him closer. Heero sets the little jar he found on the bedside table before he slithers along my body, our skin rubbing in all the right places. And then his hips settle firmly over mine, both of us moaning at the electric contact. Grabbing the back of his head, I pull Heero down for a kiss, our tongues meeting and battling for dominance. But I finally capitulate, reveling in the feeling of Heero exploring my mouth so thoroughly, the movements of his tongue timed with each roll of his hips.
Without separating myself from Duo, I reach over and grab the little jar of Vaseline that I found in the bathroom. It would do quite nicely. Getting the lid off with one hand is harder than I thought, but I managed to get it off just as Duo's wandering hands grabbed my ass, trying with all his might to bring us closer.
Leaning most of my weight on one elbow, I hover over Duo. "Was there something you wanted?"
"Yeah. You, inside me, as soon as humanly possibly."
The raw honesty and passion in his voice sent me back the same way I had come just moments ago, scattering kisses and small bites to every inch of pale skin I passed. Gently shifting his legs with my knees, I slipped my folded legs under his thighs.
After coating two fingers with the slick Vaseline I set the jar off the side, just within arms reach. With my other hand, I brush Duo's long bangs away from his eyes. Gently, as if touching a fragile piece of art, I run my thumb over the bridge of his nose down to his lips, where I drag the pad across before Duo catches the finger with his tongue, drawing into his warm mouth.
"Mmm, Duo " With my Vaseline coated fingers I seek out the small pucker that my body is crying for. "Duo, this might hurt a little. Trust me?" He gives me a small smile around my fingers, the trust implicit in his eyes. With the utmost care, I slowly ease one finger past both small rings of muscle, waiting patiently for them to relax, listening and watching intently for any signs of pain from my slender lover.
Mine. My lover. I could ask for no more the rest of my life, if I could be with Duo for all of it.
Ever so slowly I work more fingers inside Duo, until the muscle as stretched and relaxed just enough. I don't want to cause him any more pain than I have. I want this to be perfect. For both of us. Finally, when Duo begins moaning with more passion than any pain, I gently slip all four fingers out.
Positioning myself closer to my goal, I stop for a moment to observe my lover. I'm rewarded by a look that I want to covet. I want to be the only one that sees him like this; eyes glazed and a dilated, and between pants his lips moving over and over. Whispering my name.
"Heero. Please don't stop. I need you. I want to be with you please "
"I won't leave, Duo. I promise." With as much care has I had used preparing Duo; I inch forward, rubbing his thighs to comfort him as the head of my arousal slips past his opening. Still I keep easing forward, until I'm fully seated and can stretch up ever so slightly to kiss Duo's sweet mouth.
And, in this one moment, I feel as if I have attained as close to heaven as I ever will.
There isn't as much pain as I had expected. It's still there, but only a vague twinge so deeply cloaked in the pleasure that I can barely notice it. I suppose that when you truly love the person you're with, there is no pain, all there is for us is a warm pulsing pleasure moving with the beat of our own blood. So primal, so perfect. A dance almost as old as time itself.
When Heero finally moves up to kiss me, a spark of - something - drives down my spine, and to my legs, moving them for me so that my ankles hook at the small of Heero's back. Tensing and relaxing my legs, I move Heero in an imitation of sex, my knees skittering along his ribs and my heels rubbing his ass. Heero releases my mouth, gasping at the sensations I'd invoked in both of us. Panting slightly, I smile up at his shocked face.
"What are you waiting for Heero?"
And then, Heero smiles. A real, honest to god smile. Compared to his smirks, which always made him look sexy; his smile makes him beautiful. Of all the beauty I had the privilege to witness while I was granted this temporary vision, Heero's smile far out-shines all of them.
But thought is once again scattered to the four winds as Heero slowly withdraws, only to plunge back inside me. He creates a steady pounding rhythm to match the pounding of my own heart, changing me into a writhing creature.
Writhing and panting, all I can do is plead and beg. I can't hear, all I can feel is Heero deep inside. More. Faster. Harder. Slower. More. Deeper. Please. Deeper. Oh God, please. All of a sudden, Heero changes the angle of his thrust and it takes all my effort not to scream at the top of my voice with the shear pleasure of it. It's joy and beauty, all rolled into a single spot deep inside and Heero keeps stroking it, over and over, until I'm practically sobbing.
"Nnn Duo, I'm here. Let go. Just let go. I'm here to catch you." With those words his gentle, if battle scarred hand moves from my hip to wrap around my cock.
And for a split second time stops.
Before all of my senses cascade out of control, spiraling away from me as I feel Heero lose his control as well.
The end is almost as beautiful as the rest.
As gentle as snowfall, Heero kissed me again. A sweet and simple kiss that is almost negated in it's purity as he slowly withdraws completely. And while barely any effort, flips both of us over, shifting just so, wrapping his arms around me as I settle my head on his chest.
I can't move. Not that I really want to. Sprawled over Heero, I just lay there listening to his heart. Content in the pressure his arms create wound around my ribs. But is this really want he wants? Is he here out of pity, or does Heero really love me? I need to know, even if it breaks my heart. "Heero?"
"Are you really sure? Do you really want to get involved with me? I can't give you anything of value, and I'll probably be completely " I trailed off as Heero's fingers clutched at my face, pulling me to meet his eyes.
"How does that saying go? For better or for worse?" My heart stutters at the gentle light in his eyes and his choice of works to quote. "I'll be right here by your side, Duo."
Sniffling back any renegade tears, I kiss Heero's forehead, the end of his nose, and then finally his lips. "I hope you know what you're getting into." Silently telling him with my eyes that I didn't know any better than he probably did.
"We'll figure this all out together, Duo. We have the rest of our lives to try."
I lay my head back down on his chest as his hands take their former resting place, his fingers tracing ghostly patterns across my ribs. Listening to his heartbeat, I fall asleep and dream.
After Duo finally falls asleep, I watch him for a moment before kissing the top of his head.
"I promise Duo. Zutto."